by Love Belvin
“Hi!” the young Asian woman greeted. “I’m Tawny, Iban’s nurse. You here to visit him?” Having lost my voice, I nodded. She collected his breakfast accessories, loading them onto a tray. “Okay, cool! I’m going to take this over to the kitchen and grab his meds. You can keep him company in the meantime. I’ll be right back.” Her smile was bright. Before I could answer, she took off.
Nervously, I moved toward the chair closest to him and took a seat. When Iban’s regard hit me, I noticed one of his amber hued eyes was gone. Unpatched, the lid was just about closed. He gaped at me expressionless as his hand twitched, possibly in reaction to my presence. I shifted my eyes away uncomfortably. Backing down could not be an option. I had to push myself to see this through.
At this point during the day, I should have been tired of talking about painful stuff. Bishop Carmichael, who I had to now call Ezra, had left a little over an hour ago. Over breakfast and for some time after, I had to share my story, which meant telling events of my childhood up until now. He was a patient listener. Picking up on the smallest details and asking me to expound on them. Some things were easy to share, others were not. When he ended our chat, we synced calendars for our next talk, which was the following week. After seeing him out, I was drained, but went to check on Earl in his study. Irene was with him and we talked for a while before I did the inevitable.
Faced Iban.
I swallowed hard, trying to fortify myself. “Do you know who I am?”
Almost with the pace of a robot, his head jerked and mouth barely moved when he cawed, “Yeah.” I could assume Iban had no control over his voice box. That was likely one of many therapies he had to undergo.
“Do you remember what you did to me—to my baby?” Iban didn’t answer, but both his arms jolted over the armrests. I took a deep breath, not understanding what that meant, but knowing he’d just shown how incapacitated he now was. “I won’t ask you for an apology. Earl and Irene just told me you’ve had memory loss but during your care, you’ve been constantly reminded of how you landed in this condition.”
Iban’s one eye gazed above me to the pool. He was closing me out. I took another deep breath.
“I want to hate you so bad. Most days, I can’t fathom forgiveness. What does it even mean? Then, there are those days where I’m feeling violent for you.” I felt my lips constrict. “They’re usually the ones when I think my son missed a milestone, believing he’s been traumatized in some way because of what you did. And sometimes, it happens when I finally recognize the milestone, and I want to hurt you for my unnecessary panic. Too many times when I look at him, I think of you undeservingly. You’ve become a part of my life in a way I hate.”
I needed to be honest with him, and for so many reasons. “I fought for you to be here. I’m sure a lot of people, including your family, think I’m out of my mind.” I scoffed. “They probably think I’m naïve and weak-hearted to feel the hate for you I should. But I can treat you no different than my own cold-hearted brother. Family is family.” I shrugged. “And I believe we should avoid, at all cost, cutting them off. What Sadik did to you last fall was wrong. You should have never been ostracized. Your parents and brother should have worked with you to resolve the issues you had with me. I could’ve worked with—” I choked on my words when I saw a single tear leave his one surviving eye.
His face was stiff and Iban still refused to look at me. I continued on, “I’ve learned so much since encountering your family. I learned to never put so much on one child or sibling. Your parents planted a crown on Sadik’s head, never thinking of him sharing responsibilities with you and Taaliba. As the oldest, you should have been highlighted more.” Taaliba couldn’t settle on a romantic relationship because her parents were so lost in their own affairs and building separate enterprises. They didn’t give the girl the attention she needed; the seeds she needed to grow.
“I learned that being the head of the family should, in no way, be shared with your children. Leaders are imperfect, but they should be held to a higher standard. Your father makes Sadik’s his equal too much. It’s unfair to all. And your parents’ infidelity issues should have never been exposed to you guys. The message of family and the structure of it gets lost when the ‘leaders’ aren’t respecting their vows to each other.” What Earl and Irene had done with having their lovers being residents here—albeit, second class—was disgusting and damaging to the fiber of their family’s unity.
“The last thing I’ll share with you is I’m learning about your brother’s protection. It’s his natural role, it seems. He protects this family as though the job is his alone. I hate the weight it bears on his shoulders, but he’s damn good at it.”
Sadik had demonstrated protection in many ways. One was the obvious of gathering his family here at Elliswoods Palace in June when the family was under attack. He’d even scared Dimi enough for him to cut me as a client. He’d made sure his own brother was a distant threat to me by keeping him away. Not only had he hired a special security team for Iban while he was hospitalized, Sadik made sure when Iban needed to be removed for protection that he’d come where we would be: his family.
My friend and lover’s protection wasn’t just from violence. Sadik arranged for counseling for me. At first, I panicked over what he must have thought of me to go to such lengths, but after settling into my time with Ezra this morning, I realized Sadik did it because he wanted me whole. Just as he did for his own mother. Some men would have been turned off at the prospect of a woman having meltdowns and aversions to eating. Sadik was sticking by my side, as he’d done his brother through his mental health bouts.
I was crying. The tears came without warning. I held such a fountain of love and admiration for Sadik. Because of my fears, I struggled with being free with my feelings for him. Even as I sat and tried to make peace with his brother, I didn’t recognize myself. I was pregnant, in fancy clothes, and on a palatial estate. I didn’t even recognize my very real problems; my life had changed so much since one man.
Quickly, I wiped my face and sniffled back the tears. “I can’t promise you forgiveness. That part, I’ll have to work on. But what I will pledge to you is to treat you like family. I promise to humanize you as you go into this next phase of your life.” My brother-in-law was an invalid. He’d never know life as he once did. Iban could never reclaim his place in this family as the enforcer. He’d now need protecting. “I’ve got the power, but I won’t abuse it.”
I flew from the chair, needing to get away from him. I’d done what I needed to do. Right now, I needed my baby and bed. As I skittered off the veranda and through the room wiping my eyes, I told myself I’d have to wait for Sadik. He may not be in until later on that night. Monica standing just inside the bedroom startled me. With my face being to the floor, I didn’t see her.
Monica’s eyes were sad. I couldn’t muster the words to ask if she was okay.
“I heard what you said to him,” she murmured, letting her tears go. “To say you’ve only been in this family a year, you’ve sure pegged us.”
“So, there’s still an us?” I asked then glanced behind me and lowered my voice. “You’re staying with Iban?”
More tears spilled down her cheeks as Monica forged a smile. She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’m not making a move anytime soon. I think it’s best for the girls and the family that I stay on for his first few months of recovery.” Her eyes fell away as she dabbed them with a burping cloth belonging to baby Irene.
“Does that make you sad?”
She shook her head again. “No. The thought of losing my family does.” Her tears came uncontrollably. “This is the only family I’ve known. I don’t know who I’d be without them.”
“But you’ve been keeping in touch with your own family.” At least, I thought she had been.
“It’s not the same. The Ellises are a tight unit,” she cried. “We do everything together. Everything. It would take years to build that type of bond with my family—and t
hat’s if they were the cohesive type. And besides...” She wiped her eyes. “I feel like I’ve gained a sister since you’ve been here.”
I rolled my eyes, balling my mouth. “I can’t tell. It’s been pretty lonely since I had Sadik. You’ve been running around here getting your freak on.” Then a thought struck. “Are you leaving Iban for him?”
Somberly, Monica shook her head again. “I haven’t heard from Leon in days. I think the Ellis men got to him.” My heart fell to the floor. “Something happened with his access to the estate. He can’t step on the property. When I called the head of security, they said I have to talk to Earl or Sadik. If I havd to do that…” Her head shook and eyes closed as she sobbed. “I decided to drop it. But I’ve been calling Leon for days and he hasn’t returned my calls. Hasn’t been on social media. I called the one friend who knew about us and he said he’d call me back when he’s heard from him. That was three days ago. I haven’t heard back from him either.”
I took a cleansing breath, closing my eyes. “You’re not the average woman, Monica. We’re not married to average men. Their rules are different in this family. Their respect for life and ability to kill the ego doesn’t exist here. No matter how much Iban upset Sadik and Earl by shooting himself in my son’s nursery, he’s still one of them and will be looked out for.”
Monica’s tears fell fresh. “I know. It was stupid. I decided last night to drop it. I’ll focus on the girls and getting Iban to a better and more independent place. But after that, I’m divorcing him. I want better. I deserve better.”
Nodding, I offered her my fist. “I support you on that.”
She met my knuckles with teary eyes. “Thanks so much for being you, Bilan.”
I kissed Sadik’s cheek before laying him in his crib. For the first time in months, I wasn’t inclined to lay beneath him to sleep. Tonight, I’d let it go and resume a peaceful state of mind. After paying a lasting gaze, I ambled over to the bed, slipping beneath the comforter and shifted inward until I found her body curled onto her side. I molded over Bilan, inhaling the perfumed scent of her hair. My hand brushed down to her round and solid belly. Her naked body, its natural aroma and heat lulling me away immediately.
“Deek…”
My eyes shot open after one cheek lifted in amusement at that nickname. “Hmm?”
“As soon as this travel restriction lifts, I want to go visit my family.”
My brows met. “Any particular reason?”
She didn’t answer right away, and that raised red flags about her meeting with Pastor Carmichael. What had he said to her?
He’s only supposed to provide a diagnosis and recommend a practitioner based on that, not start meddling…
“I want Sadik to know both sides of his family. He’s obviously going to be an Ellis.” I heard the eye roll in that comment, “but, having another culture in there would be great for him—for both the kids.”
That mention of children warmed me. My hand circled her belly. I couldn’t wait to feel the baby kick. At this point, we were only fifteen weeks out and had a few weeks to go for that. Bilan told me that would be coming soon.
“When’s the next doctor’s visit?”
“Next week.” She yawned. “You coming?”
“Don’t I always?”
“You missed one.”
My chest tightened. “Won’t happen again. I’m ready to find out what we’re having.”
“Me, too.”
My mind began to race with thoughts of preparation. When would the house be ready? If this was another boy, would he and Sadik share rooms for bonding purposes? If it were a girl, would she have her mother’s freckles? Would we home school?
Would queen go for that?
“Sadik…”
“Hmmm?”
“Whatever happened to Monica’s…friend? He hasn’t been heard from—” She cleared her throat. “—from what I hear.”
My Nalib didn’t want to dry snitch on her sister-in-law.
Cute.
The sounds of Leon’s whines of fear and wails of pain coursed my mind. It was pleasantly surprising to see Double E Bags throw hard bows without becoming too winded. Fun. It was a great time with the old man. A time preceding a much needed chat between the two of us.
I kissed the back of her head. “What do you think happened?”
Her body tensed. “You hurt him.”
I snuggled into her soft frame more. “Then you’ve been paying attention all this time.”
My face stretched into a smile in the dark.
“Sadik…” she groaned.
“Go see your family whenever you want, Nalib.”
Bilan flipped over to face me. “Really?”
“Yes. The restriction’s been lifted. I plan on informing the compound in the morning. You want me to come with you and Sadik to see your fam—”
Bilan’s warm mouth covered mine. Her tongue pushed through my lips, causing my dick to lurch in my boxers. She swept my mouth with a gratitude and exuberant contentment that spoke to my groin. I held onto the fat of her hip while she blew my mind, sucking on my tongue and lip.
When she pulled back, Bilan breathed, “Thanks, Sadik. I’ll call Aunt Franzel to see if they’re available this week.”
Regaining my wits, my face lifted in a smirk. “Does that mean you want me to go with you guys?”
“No. Not this time. If this visit goes well, I’ll invite them over again. We didn’t celebrate the Fourth of July. Maybe we can do a barbeque in the courtyard and have my family and Monica’s over.”
My dick began to pulse, not ready to end the passion. I grabbed Bilan’s hand and pulled it to my growing erection. “I think you should do that. But right now, you have something else to take care of.”
“Thanks, Candy.” I gave a neck bow as she collected my plate in case she didn’t hear me over the clamor in the room.
I glanced down to the end of the table, where Sadik was on my mother’s lap at her dining room table. He stuck his finger in a bowl of her homemade apple sauce and sucked the puree off, all just to do it over and over again. He didn’t want her to feed him with his spoon anymore. I guessed he wanted to do it himself. My boy was exerting his independence already at five months.
Ivy sat next to them, now with her attention fastened to the cake she was finishing up on. Iesha was on the other side of my mother, playing some hand game with her mother while Monica held a conversation with Taaliba directly across the table from her. Next to Taaliba was Danny Lopez. He appeared as awkward and out of place as he did last week when Bilan invited him for the first time. Well, it actually wasn’t the first time. It was the first time he’d obliged her. I had a feeling it was the first time Taaliba passed on the message. Her immature ass was all over the damn place with Lopez, a glaring reason why she shouldn’t be dating.
My father was at the far end of the table cleaning up baby Nene’s high chair table. She ate with him tonight, giving Monica a break. A beat of pride rang out in my heart at seeing him here without any wheelchair or health care personnel assisting him. Also, having no women flanking him made him look younger and more present to the table.
I glanced down at Bilan next to me. She was texting under the table. From what I could make out, Tasche was sending her pictures of her and her guy at an amusement park.
Tasche: He said ain’t no ride better than the one this pussy give.
I shook my head at that entry.
Bilan: Aye! And how ‘bout I’m about to break my joy stick tAnOight!
Yes, I stalked my wife with no shame. I’d just picked up my wine glass when I saw she ended the text with the emoji face with one eye closed and the tongue hanging. I almost choked on Malbec.
“Nalib!” I grunted.
Unsuspecting, she peered up to me. When she realized I’d been watching, Bilan made an expression to mimic the emoji. I shook my head, not believing her level of crass. Is that what women discussed?
Before I could reply, my queen called for
our attention at the end of the table. Ivy and Iesha shushed the table to assist her, making me snort. Damn, I missed this. My family was finally back to business, dining together at least twice a week.
“Excuse me,” Irene Ellis pulled out her false soprano as though timid. “I know dessert concludes our dinner, but it’s that time of the year again. Next week, leave time after to discuss our holiday excursions. So far, Bilan has recommended we stay home for Christmas.”
“Why?” Taaliba asked, sincerely perplexed.
Her eyes met Bilan’s. Bilan’s freckled contoured cheeks lifted bashfully.
“You want to tell them?” Queen offered her.
“What, Aunt Lani?” Iesha gasped.
Bilan’s face spread into an extraordinary beam. “I’ll let Sadik do it?”
As I stood, I invited Bilan to come along. I caught the expression of surprise on my father’s face as we waited for her.
“We’ve been waiting for an appropriate time to share this. I know you’ve been asking the sex of the baby.” Goddamn. Every day, it seemed, someone asked. Stacy, Jamil, Taaliba, my assistant at Ellis International, Julius—my goddamn dentist last week when I went in for a routine checkup. “We found out early last month.”
“Aw, c’mon! Don’t be one of those snobby couples who want to time sharing every detail about the incoming baby!” Monica tossed her towel.
“I think it’s a girl!” Ivy shouted.
“I hope so,” Danny added. “The Ellises don’t need another man. The ones they tend to make are unbearable.”
I shot him a warning glare, to which Taaliba shooed me with her hand.
