by Mia Ford
“But how do I know if this is one of those situations?”
“Not everything is black and white,” she said softly. “This is one of those times where everything is not as it seems. You need to take some time and really think about it. Take the emotion and put it to the side and really dive into the inner workings of who you are. You need to think long and hard what you want out of your life, and where you want to go in the future. Not everything is about the here and now. Many things are about how the here and now affects the future.”
“But shouldn’t I be thinking of more than just what I want? Shouldn’t I be thinking about what my father wants, too?”
“What people want and what people need can often be two different things,” she whispered. “Sometimes when you take the time to really think about things, you realize that what is best may not be the most ideal choice for everyone. But, if they are given that as their only option, in the end, they will find that what is best turned out to be the right decision. You might be surprised how similar those decisions are between you and your father. You need to decide what kind of future you envision for your life.”
“You’re all I want in life,” I responded, smiling up at her.
“And I will always be here, no matter what path you choose,” she replied with a grin. “Remember that when two people get into a relationship, they don’t just magically become one person. What makes a relationship strong is having two individuals working on the things they want in life and having those things intersect. We don’t have to have the same dreams or timelines. We just have to have our lives intersect at the perfect point. When that happens, everything falls into place. Don’t think about me and us. Think about what you want. You always think about what I want, and now, it’s time to understand that no matter what choice you make, I will be right there, cheering you on the entire way. And at the end of the day, our lives will intersect, bringing us back together.”
“You are a wise woman,” I said, looking up at her and feeling much calmer. “I think I’m going to go for a walk on the beach, clear my head, and really think about things.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan,” she said, smiling. “I’m going to get dinner started so we aren’t starving in an hour.”
I stood up from the couch and kissed Ronni on the lips, walking to the door and looking back at her before I closed it behind me. I crossed the street and took my flip flops off before stepping into the moist, cool sand. It didn’t feel the same between my toes as the sand in Hawaii did, but it was still just as nice to be by the ocean when the sun was getting ready to set. The beach had always been such a big part of my life, and it was funny how I always reminisced about my mother taking me to the beach and never thought about the millions of beach trips my father would take Nick and me on. The three of us were thick as thieves, and no matter what was going on at home, or how much Nick and I fought, as soon as we were out there in the sand with our father, we were brothers to the end. Noah and I really had a strong and special relationship when I was a boy and I always was in awe by the fact that my father was so strong and so ready to always be there for us.
I really wanted to have that bond again, that feeling that no matter what life threw at us, we had each other to lean on. I just didn’t think, at this point, anything with Nick could be salvaged. As far as the company was concerned, I didn’t know if I really wanted to dive in and bring it back from the brink of disaster yet again. It would take long, hard hours repairing a company that was not even my legacy. It was my father’s. My father was smart enough with money that he didn’t need the company. He just wanted the company. My thoughts were drawn from my father as I looked ahead at a family walking through the sand. They were laughing and talking, and the dad reached down to swing his little boy up and onto his shoulders.
I stopped and watched them for a few moments, smiling as they passed. They were the perfect example of a happy family. The mom was shining brightly from her husband’s obvious love for her, and the child was carefree and happy to be with his parents. I watched as the boy clung to his father’s head, looking around in wonder at how different the world looked from that height. It was at that moment, everything faded away, and I knew exactly what my choice had to be.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Ronni
I stood there in the shop, staring out the front window, completely lost in my own thoughts. Nathan had been very quiet the last couple of days, and I didn’t want to push him for an answer to what was going on. The retail location was really coming along, and we had all come in today to see what we could do to get everything up and ready as fast as possible. Things were really starting to come together, and I was starting to get really excited about our future with the company.
We had already gotten several orders just from the photo shoot and handing out business cards. There were even orders placed by husbands who saw us there and wanted to get their wives something sexy for their next trip to the beach. When we had arrived this morning, there was a truck sitting outside, and we realized that it was our first shipment of suits arriving from the tailors. We immediately opened every box and sorted them by size, color, and style. We placed the stacks throughout the store, excited to get them on hangers and on the shelves. It was going to actually look like a store in here for the first time, and I couldn’t wait to stand back and soak it all in.
We grabbed a large tub of hangers and went to work, getting them hung up perfectly and uniformly, and placed neatly on the racks, with all the hangers going in the same direction. One thing I loved about working with Maria was that she was just as anal retentive as me about having everything sleek, smooth, and the least messy we could possibly get it. When you walked into a store to buy clothing, you didn’t want to have to search through loads of clothing just to find one piece that you are looking for. You want the customer to come in, pick out their favorite thing, and go right to the register to buy it. The longer they had to think, the worse off the store was.
I looked over at Maria and smiled as she pushed the first rack to the side and began working on the next color.
“Okay,” she said. “Spill it. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nathan’s dad is dying,” I said, sighing. “And Nick ran off to South America after being chased by the FBI. He was involved with some international sales he shouldn’t have been.”
“Oh, wow,” she said, looking at me with wide eyes. “That’s nuts!”
“Well, now Nathan’s father wants him to run the show again and save the company,” I replied. “But Nathan hated it when he was there, and he is having a really hard time deciding what to do while also mourning the fact that his father is dying.”
“Nathan doesn’t own anyone a damn thing,” Maria said proudly. “He has done so much for his family, and that includes giving up on his own life to make sure their legacy lived on. But that being said, he would be a damn fool to walk away from all that money.”
“Nathan has money, remember,” I said, chuckling. “He doesn’t need the money. He just feels guilty, and that is really messing him up when it comes to making a decision on where to go next.”
“You guys think too much about things,” Ronni said, laughing. “Do what’s best for the future. Put everything else to the side. I don’t know why people latch on to things in life so much. Mr. Landers, when he’s dead, is he really going to care if the company is running or not?”
“Well, if he is the same man in the afterlife that he is in this one,” I said. “I would not be surprised in the least.”
I looked down at the bathing suit I was folding and began to think about Mr. Landers when he took care of me as a child. It was weird. I was spending so much time making sure that Nathan was doing okay, I hadn’t even stopped for two seconds to think about if I was okay. When Noah died, it will be the last piece of family connection I have, and my fond memories will be all jumbled up with the most recent ones.
I didn’t want to think about death. It made me uneasy
, especially since I had dealt with so much of it over the years. This would be the fourth parent figure I lost, which was way too many for any twenty-three-year-old woman to deal with. I turned as I heard Nathan’s footsteps coming down the stairs. He smiled at me as he walked forward and kissed my lips, rubbing my arms up and down with his hands.
“I am having dinner with my father tonight,” he said. “Would you like to join?”
“Do you want me there?”
“Of course,” he said, chuckling. “I want you by my side always. You are my wife, and I love you very much. You should be just as much part of this as I am, especially since I know you have a special place in your heart for my father.”
“Then, of course, I will come.” I smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
We went through the rest of the day folding, clamping, and hanging the suits on the shelves. Maria and I were like speed demons when it came to getting things done, so we were more than happy that Nathan came down and wanted to help. When we were done, we stepped back and looked at our handiwork. The place actually looked like a real store, and it sent excitement bubbling all over my body. Just a few more touches like the art mural and the rugs, and this place will be ready to go for Christmas holiday shoppers. Nathan walked up behind me and kissed me on the forehead, signaling it was time to go so we could get ready. Maria agreed that she was done for the day so we all rode back in Nathan’s car. It was starting to be that exciting time in San Diego where lights were going up for the holidays and Hawaiian shirt-clad Santa Claus’s could be seen on every corner.
When we got to the house, we changed into our fine dining clothing and headed out for the restaurant. When we arrived, Noah was already sitting at the table, sipping his glass of water. He looked even more frail and ill than he did the other day, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to make it long enough to see his company rise or fall.
The dinner felt awkward, and everyone sat around the table in silence, picking at our personal appetizers and sipping our drinks. Nathan ordered a double whiskey on the rocks, and I got a martini, while Mr. Landers stuck with his water. I wanted to ask him if he was on any kind of treatment, but I knew it was none of my business, and I didn’t want to upset him or the situation any more than it already was. Nathan reached down and squeezed my hand as he sat up straight and cleared his throat.
“For many, many years,” Nathan began. “As far back as I can remember, running your company and bringing it to greater heights was my dream. As a young boy, I would sit back and imagine what it would be like to be as good in business as you were. And in the end, I found that it was very lonely. I had big dreams for the company, but dreams change, and so do people. I’ve grown so much over the last year. You would be proud of everything I have accomplished. I’ve learned how to take a deep breath and realized that I am way happier without the weight of that company on my shoulders. With that weight gone, I have been able to put my talents in other areas, and my wife, Ronni, and I have been busy working on building our own empire. The things we have been able to do with our combined knowledge have been leaps and bounds above what I expected, and we still don’t wake up in the morning feeling stressed and lonely. So, for those reasons, I want to respectfully decline your offer for me to take back over the business.”
Nathan took a drink of his whiskey and watched as his father’s face hardened. As Mr. Landers opened his mouth to protest Nathan’s lack of interest in saving the company, Nathan put his hand up and shook his head. He swallowed his whiskey hard and smiled at the waitress as she set his food down in front of him.
“I’m not done,” he said, wincing at the after bite from the liquor. “I don’t understand why you are so obsessed with keeping the company busy. It can’t be for the money. You are dying, Nick is running from federal prison, and I have my own money. Don’t you have enough money? Your bank accounts and investments total so much that you could live six lifetimes and still not run out. Is it about the power? If so, that would be a change, because until now you didn’t want the power. You were the guy sitting back and just letting things go with the flow. You trusted me to do the right thing, but I didn’t even realize what the right thing was until last night. While you are over there still striving for more, pushing for a better company, a stronger bottom line, and a company that will stand the test of time, everyone else is moving on with their lives. Wouldn’t it be better to let this go in its glory and try to enjoy the time you have left, without the stress of a company and legacy? None of those things will be worth shit when you aren’t there to enjoy them.”
Nathan stopped and took another drink of his whiskey. Mr. Landers sat in his chair, staring down at his food. His face did not portray anger, but instead, showed a deep sadness I hadn’t seen in years. He had clung to that company because it was built with Mrs. Landers at his side. It was their idea and their hard work that pushed the company to greatness in the first place. I realized that this never actually had anything to do with money or legacy. It had to do with grief and the inability to let go. Mr. Landers wanted to fix the company because it was the only thing he had left of his wife.
“Look, Dad,” Nathan said, setting down his drink and putting his hand on his father’s shoulder. Go home and really think about it. If you agree and you want to dissolve the company, I will help you. I will take the reins, dissolve the company, sell the assets, and let you retire in peace. The payout, even after the 401Ks and the pensions we are obligated to pay, I’m sure there is enough in there that you will never have to want for anything. “
The rest of the dinner was quiet, but I could tell that Nathan had touched Mr. Landers by figuring out exactly what I already knew. It was time to let go.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Nathan
As we sat there quietly eating our dinner, I thought about how proud I was for making the choice to go in the direction that I knew was best. It took a lot of courage to stand up to my father, and it was the first time that I had ever done it. Through the years, I had folded to every single one of his wishes.
Our father was like a god to us growing up. This man could turn nothing into gold. We were taught to always listen to him, take his advice whether we wanted to or not, and be there anytime he needed anything. I lived my life feeling like I was the only one that could keep the family and the business on the right track, and letting that burden go was extremely hard. I wanted my father to be proud of me, to look at me as someone he could come to, lean on, and know that he could count on me to do what he thought was best. The problem with that was, when I got older, I was still living my life based on what my father thought was best for him, not what I thought was best for me. So, without thinking I dove into the life that had been laid out for me since birth and engrossed myself so much in that life that I didn’t even have time to see the world around me. When I met Ronni, that world that had been built for me started to crumble away, and the world I wanted to build for myself began to take shape.
I didn’t tell my father to dissolve the company because that was in my best interest. For all intents and purposes, he could have easily gone out and hired someone to do the job that I wouldn’t. But I told my father that it was the best choice because I truly believed that it was. He needed to be free from this burden, especially now that he was quickly losing time. I wanted to see him flourish in the last days, months, or however long he had left, without sitting in his office and stressing over a legacy that wouldn’t matter once he was gone. Sure, he could sell the company, but I knew that wouldn’t do any good. He would still keep himself engrossed in what was going on with it. It would kill him more to watch someone else change his company into their own, than watch Nick take it down in a blaze of glory.
I watched my father across the table as we finished our desserts, and I asked for the check. His face was solemn, and I could see the anguish in every glance. It was not what he thought he wanted, and he wasn’t happy with my choice to turn him down, but he knew there was no way, at t
his point, he could fight me on it. In reality, he was tired. He was tired of missing my mother, he was tired of fighting his children, and he was tired of living half of a life.
He had done it for so long that it hadn’t even hit him until he was given a death sentence. So, facing the end, he clung to the only thing he had left, a company that would hold no meaning for anyone once he was gone. It made me sad to think that he didn’t feel that he had his own sons to go to instead of holding on to his own company for dear life. I know he didn’t like my opinion or offer, but I could only hope that when he got home, he really took a hard look at himself and his life and made peace with letting the company go. At this point, he was the only one that could make this decision. I had spoken my mind, and now, I would have to wait and see what he decided.
When dinner was over, I hugged my father and kissed him on the cheek before getting him into the limo and sending him back home. As we drove back to the house, many thoughts flew through my mind, but I was distracted by Ronni’s beautiful face. She reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling it into her lap. I could tell she had questions, especially since it was the first time she had heard my decision as well.
“How did you come to the conclusion that you did?” she asked.
“My first instinct this entire time was to jump right in and do exactly what my father wanted. My whole life, that is exactly what I did, and the thought of making any other decision, with his life coming to an end, made me feel so damn guilty. Then, when I went for that walk on the beach, I let it all work through my mind. I thought about my father taking Nick and me to the beach as kids. I thought about how much love he gave us on a daily basis. I thought about how he always pushed us to be better, smarter, and stronger. I thought about everything going on in his life right now, and then, I stopped in my tracks and stared at this adorable little family walking down the beach. The father had put his son on his shoulders and grabbed his wife’s hand. They looked perfect, happy, and prepared to face the world.”
