by J. Saman
“You have an agenda, do you? Why do I get the feeling it will involve me being naked?”
“Because that sort of agenda definitely fits within the realm of no-strings sex, and I happen to like you naked. It’s one of my favorite looks for you, and from what Ryan has told me, there are plenty of places I can keep you that way.”
Ivy snorts dubiously. “Ryan told you all the places where you can keep me naked?”
I roll my eyes at her as I switch lanes. “No, baby, that would be a ridiculous conversation for us to have. He told me about the private hot tub on our balcony, and the huge walk-in shower in our en suite, and the fur of some sort of animal rug in front of our fireplace, and the giant four-poster king-size bed.”
“That seems like a lot of places given our time constraints. We’re not even up here for twenty-four hours. At some point, we’ll need to eat, sleep, and converse with Kate and Ryan.”
“Sleeping, and conversing with Kate and Ryan are overrated, and not high on my priority list.” I give her hand a squeeze before bringing it up to my mouth for a light kiss. “You’re a doctor, Ivy. You’re used to functioning on no sleep. What good is having regular sex with a doctor if I can’t take advantage of that small bonus?”
I look over at her quickly, my eyes jumping back and forth between her and the nearly empty highway.
Ivy turns to the window, trying to hide her smile. In reality, she’s being a good sport about coming on this little impromptu trip. I know she’s exhausted because I picked her up at work after her night shift, which means she hasn’t slept.
I also have to get her back to work tomorrow for her next night shift.
And then after that, her schedule picks up and she has virtually no days off for at least another week or so.
It’s going to make that whole regular sex thing I just mentioned difficult to continue. It’s also going to make seeing her a challenge because our schedules won’t coincide unless I blow off work. I’m all for that under normal circumstances, but Ryan and I have a big project in the works, and now is not the time for slacking off. We’re in the midst of writing a shit ton of code for some new software we’re developing.
Which is why I’m not kidding when I tell her I plan on spending every possible second of the next however long with her, and the more time we can do that naked, the better. But really, I just want to be near her.
Because, well, I’m crazy about her.
I am.
It’s a terrible thing and a dangerous thing, and it means I could get really hurt when she’s gone in a few weeks. It’s not like I can even change her mind and make her stay.
I can’t.
This is the direction her life is headed in, and the other night when I casually asked if Boston was the only fellowship to be had, she said it was not only one of the best in the country, but that all the other fellowships worth having have been taken. She said she’s finished her two-year fellowship contract here and now to get her certificate she’s going to Boston. Evidently, she’d made that arrangement long before I came into the picture and it’s too late to change it.
So there you have it folks.
It’s a no-win situation.
This is not just her career but her life’s work, and unfortunately, it’s taking her 3,114 miles away. Yes, I looked it up on Google maps. I’m just that sort of stalker.
And to keep the shit end of things going, Ivy’s not coming home for a visit this year. Her parents will be joining her for Christmas, and according to her, she gets no real vacation time. She’s there to learn, she reminded me, in a very stern, authoritative voice that I found way too appealing.
So unless I plan on traveling out to see her, which she has not even so much as suggested, we’re really sticking with these four weeks and then done thing. And we’re already a week in.
I hate it. I fucking hate that idea to the point where I can’t even begin to entertain the notion of not seeing her every day.
And here’s the ultimate question, how do things like that happen? I mean, I was getting by without an issue before her. Sure, my life wasn’t exactly complete or full or whatever, but I managed. I had occasional women that fulfilled my needs, and that seemed to suit me fine.
But now? Now those women seem empty.
Anything other than Ivy seems empty and meaningless, and goddamn pointless.
I think about her constantly. She’s always on my mind. And if I’m not obsessing over her, then I’m probably sleeping, because as I just said, she’s always on my mind. So what do I do with that? How do I go from nothing, to Ivy, and back to nothing?
Fuck if I know. So I try not to think about it. I try to live in the moment with her.
Because that’s all we have together.
We pull into the ‘cabin,’ and both Ivy and I look out the windshield at the place and then at each other, and then back at the cabin, and then we both crack up. It’s not a cabin so much as it is a multimillion-dollar monstrosity in the mountains that was built to look like a cabin.
“You’re kidding me with this, right?” I laugh, taken aback, though I feel like I shouldn’t be.
I look over to Ivy who’s smiling and shaking her head. “This is where they’re getting married?”
I shrug, “Guess so. Let’s go in and have a look.”
Ivy takes my hand, and we rush to the front door. It’s cold up here in the mountains, though the snow is gone from everywhere except the mountain peaks.
I open the door with a knock and we walk in, looking around the palatial great room we’re instantly greeted with.
“Well, it’s certainly big enough,” Ivy notes, and I can’t help but agree. “I mean, it’s gorgeous and grand, but wow. Just wow.”
“I know. I wasn’t really expecting this, but I don’t think I should be fully surprised here. Ryan tends to go over the top when it comes to the Duchess.”
“Hey,” Ryan’s voice startles both of us as he enters, probably because the sound reverberates all around us, echoing off the tall ceilings. “What do you think? Katie says it’s too much, but where else are you supposed to fit thirty-five people for a wedding?”
“A hotel?” I deadpan. “Just throwing that out there.” Ryan flips me off, but I can see the hurt in his eyes, and I know how much this means to him. “Nah, I’m just messing with you, bro. This place is awesome.”
“Yeah?” He looks so damn hopeful it almost makes me want to mess with him more.
“It’s aces, Ryan. Truly great. Seeing this gorgeous house makes me heartbroken that I’m going to miss the big event.” Ivy walks up to Ryan, giving him a big hug and a pat on the shoulder. She whispers something to him that I can’t hear, but it has him smiling and possibly . . . is he blushing?
“I hear voices,” Duchess Kate calls out in a sing-song voice as she comes from another room on the opposite side of the great room from where Ryan entered. “You guys made it. Thank god.”
“Where are we staying, Duchess?” I ask. “I want to throw our things down.”
“Upstairs, eighth door on the right.”
“Come again? Did you say eighth?”
“I did indeed, my fine brown-haired friend. This ‘house,’” she puts air quotes around the word, “has twelve bedrooms. I gave you one of five master suites.”
“Holy fuck, dude.” I look over at Ryan. “I know we do well, but come on? It’s one night, right?”
“A very important night, Luke,” Kate says, enunciating the word like she’s telling me to shut up and support my friend because he needs the encouragement. Fucking Ryan. He’s lucky I love him as much as I do.
“Okay, well, I’m going to drop off our bags in the eighth room on the right, and then do I get a tour of this palace, or should I just wander around and figure it out as I go?”
“I’ll give you the tour.” Ryan smiles big before looking over at the Duchess and winking. She giggles at him, slapping his arm playfully and reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss his chin. Kate is unbelievably sh
ort compared to him. At least Ivy can kiss me without having to strain herself.
“I’ll come with you, Luke,” Ivy says through a yawn. “I don’t mean to put a damper on things, but I’m completely knackered, and if I don’t get at least a little sleep, I’ll be entirely useless later.”
“And since I can’t have you useless later, I think a nap is wise.” I take Ivy’s hand and lead her in the direction that Kate points us. “Besides, it may take several hours for Ryan to show me the entire place.”
Ivy laughs, but I can tell that she’s out on her feet. Once we find our room, which really is unbelievable, I leave her to sleep and I go in search of Ryan. I don’t have to go far, because the man is waiting for me outside my room.
“Hey, Stalker Joe. What if I had been balls deep inside my girlfriend in there?”
Ryan chuckles, shaking his head. “First of all, I knew that wasn’t going to happen with her in that state. Second of all, she’s not your girlfriend, and you should get that shit right in your brain now.”
Did I really just call Ivy my girlfriend?
I didn’t even realize I had said that.
“Shit,” I hiss out. Ryan leads me down one door before he opens it, showing me another bedroom that is a little smaller with slightly different decor than mine. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
“Sounds like it.” Ryan pauses in the next bedroom, standing in the center of it staring at me. “What’s your deal with her anyway? She’s leaving, right? And soon.”
“Thanks for the reminder, dickhead. But yeah, she is. And there is dick all I can do to stop it. So,” I shrug, “I’m screwed and enjoying whatever time I have left with her.”
“But you’re falling for her.” It’s not a question, and the statement gives me pause.
Am I falling for her?
“I’m not,” I say emphatically. “She’s leaving, and I’m . . . me.”
Ryan looks at me unimpressed. “What does that even mean?”
“You know what it means.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You could tell her, you know?”
I shrug. “No point. She’s leaving.”
“I get that she’s leaving, asshole, but it’s a year and a plane ride, right? You’re . . .” Ryan looks away from me for a beat before meeting my eyes. “Different with her.”
“Different?” I echo, hating the way that word feels on my tongue.
“Yes, in a good way. In the best way really.”
“What is this? Are we going to do each other’s nails and discuss the moments of our lives now? I like her. A lot, obviously. It’s impossible not to, but she’s going, and I . . . have my own shit.”
“And that’s another thing,” he points at me like his mother does when she has a point to make, “You need to stop hiding behind your own shit.”
“I’m not,” I squeak like a prepubescent boy. “What am I supposed to do, Ryan? There is no point in telling her, and it’s not something I share anyway. You shouldn’t even know about it, except you’re a nosy bastard with insane hacking skills.”
He takes two deliberate steps toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders in a way that would seem condescending from anyone else.
“But because I am a nosy bastard with insane hacking skills, I do know. And I still trust you more than almost anyone on the planet. Something I don’t do.” I swallow hard. “You need to ask yourself if she’s worth the fight and the trouble. If she is, then don’t let her get away just because she’s going to be in Boston for a while, and don’t let her get away because you have a past that most people don’t.”
“And what about my present situation, Ryan? Or are you playing dumb on that one?”
He just stands there watching me.
“If you were me and Kate were Ivy, what would you do about that?”
“I don’t have an answer for that, Luke. I know some of what’s going on, but definitely not all of it, so I can’t really speak to that. But . . .,” he sighs, pushing his black-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose. “In all honesty, I don’t know what I’d do.”
I can’t say anything back to that. I need to digest that, and it’s not something I can do with an audience.
“Come on.” He claps me hard on the back the way the fucker always does. “Let me show you the rest of the place where I’m going to trick Katie into marrying me and being mine forever.”
“I don’t think it’s much of a trick if she goes willingly.”
“Maybe, but my girl is already freaking out. I caught her crying this morning before we drove up. You know what that means.”
I frown. “Do you want me to talk to her? The Duchess and I have a bond you cannot break, not with a thousand swords.”
Ryan stops mid-step, turning to face me. “Did you just quote The Princess Bride? What kind of self-respecting man does that?”
“The fact that you know I just quoted that movie says that you’ve seen it as many times as I have.” I smirk at him as his green eyes narrow at me. “You can’t hate on that movie. Besides,” I chuckle. “Ivy made me watch it the other day. That girl has a real hard on for eighties flicks.”
Ryan shows me bedroom after bedroom, and by this point, I’ve stopped looking and just nod with an appreciative smile. Like I give a shit about what they look like?
“I can’t decide if I like the pussy-whipped version of you or not,” Ryan says as we get to yet another goddamn bedroom.
“Said the pot to the kettle. Look at what you’re doing right now,” I wave my hand in the air indicating our surroundings. “You’re showing me bedrooms in the house you’ve rented for your wedding.” I point to my chest. “And I’m pussy-whipped?”
“I never once said I wasn’t pussy-whipped. Katie has me by the balls, and she can keep them.” He smirks at me. “I like what she does with them.”
“And you’re saying I should be like this too?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Ivy is the best thing to happen to you since I came along, and I’m the master of awesome. Just . . . think about it.”
I nod my head and walk on to see yet another boring-ass bedroom that looks absolutely the same as the one before it.
Think about it, he says. I’m different with her, he says. Tell her the truth, he says.
That last one might just be something I cannot do.
12
Luke
* * *
Ivy ends up sleeping for four hours, and after I wake her up with my face between her thighs—cue wicked smile here—we shower together before joining Ryan and Kate for dinner.
And I have to admit, the four of us together just works.
Ryan and Duchess Kate, and even Claire, are my family. The only one I really have, and well, I sort of feel like I’m living a lie. I mean, I am, but not in the ordinary sense.
In the sense that Ivy and I are a sham.
We’re this fake couple with perfect chemistry and symmetry and every other -try there is.
So maybe Ryan’s right? Maybe I should tell Ivy my dark past and see if she’s willing to try long-distance with me?
Crazy, right? Maybe . . .
“So, I told him if he was going to order all that blood and fluids when the patient had an EF of thirty percent, I wasn’t going to be the one to hang it,” Kate says like any of that was English.
But Ivy fully gets it, shaking her head with a scowl. “Bloody interns. What on earth was he thinking? He would have put that patient into pulmonary edema.”
“Right?” Kate slaps the table. “That’s exactly what I said. Dammit, I love it when I’m vindicated.”
Ivy laughs, but Ryan and I just look at each other, wondering what the hell they’re talking about.
Kate pours herself more wine before reaching across the table to empty the bottle in Ivy’s glass. This is our second bottle, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that Ryan and I have had a total of two glasses between us. For the mathematically challenged, that means one gl
ass each.
Translation? Our girls are trashed.
Adorably so.
“I think this place is perfect for your wedding,” Ivy says, looking around the kitchen that will not be seen by guests. “It’s so beautiful and peaceful and . . . romantic.”
“Ha,” Ryan nudges Kate’s shoulder. “Told you, love.”
“You don’t think it’s too much?” Duchess Kate scrunches her eyes like she’s trying to see Ivy, or maybe not see double.
Ivy shakes her head slowly. “No, I think it’s a fantasy come true. I think your husband-to-be did an ace job.”
“I’m sorry you won’t be able to come,” Kate says to Ivy, before looking at me with an indiscernible expression.
“Me too, but I’m afraid it can’t be helped. I leave the week before your wedding,” Ivy giggles. “How’s that for timing?”
“Do you think you’ll ever come back?”
Ivy shrugs a shoulder. “Can’t really say.” I feel Ivy glance in my direction before turning her attention back to Kate. “I never in a million years thought I’d have a reason to, other than family.”
My heart starts pumping like it’s trying to outrace my mind.
Is she saying I could be a reason for her to come back?
“Well, if I ever manage to knock Katie up, we could use a doctor,” Ryan says before Kate smacks him in the chest. Hard. “What? Why’d you hit me?”
“Because she’s a pediatric emergency doctor, genius. As talented as she is, I’d rather us not need her medical expertise.”
“Fine, point taken. But hitting me that hard means you’re drunk. It’s time I whisk you away to bed and make you my concubine, since you can’t exactly protest.” Ryan looks to Ivy with a wink. “Don’t worry, Doctor, she likes it.”
Ivy holds up her hands, smiling. “TMI, Ryan. I think I officially need to go set fire to my ears.”
“Right,” Duchess snorts loudly. “Like you haven’t heard way worse from that one,” she slurs, pointing to me with a wobbling finger that really could be directed at anyone at this table, even people who aren’t here. “Or maybe not. Luke’s all about the secrets.” Then she claps a hand over her mouth with wide eyes and looks to Ryan with an I-didn’t-just-say-that expression. “I think you need to take me to bed. I think multiple spankings are in order, and I think I absolutely deserve them.”
