Nara was searching for what to ask next but felt a tug inside, like when she was rushed away from the battlefield toward the light. “That feeling again. I’m about to go, aren’t I?”
“Yes.”
“To where? Back to the Great Land?”
“Yes.”
A sense of urgency rose in Nara as if she was about to lose an important opportunity. “Hurry, Anne. What else can you tell me? I want to remember so I can teach everyone. So I can help rebuild and fix things.”
“It won’t happen like that. You won’t remember much. Just feelings. But know that He loves you, my sweet girl. He loves us all so much He can’t contain himself. He is the sun, shining on you every day, as befits His nature. He gives you strength, even when you don’t know where it’s coming from. He yearns to ease your suffering but loves you so much that He wants to see you grow, and He won’t rob you of that chance. He is eternal, and He waits for you. Go. Love. Fix what you have broken. And have patience, my dear. You’ll need it.”
Suddenly, the field disappeared. Nara was rushing down a river of speed and sensation, light disappearing then another light growing, her head spinning, her world shaking.
Then the pain. It came in fierce bursts, racking her form from head to toe. Attacks. From Kayna. She couldn’t see her, but she felt her sister’s presence. They battled again, but not like before. No, that battle had been lost. She was fighting Kayna in her mind, now. How could that be?
She sensed Kayna’s presence, her anger and frustration, as she hurled pain at Nara, but this was a different sort of battle. It was a contest of wills, not of skill. A contest of passion, not of magic. They were together, in the same shape, one form but two personalities, clashing in the chaos, locked in a struggle for dominance. But the rules were different here, and Kayna did not have Nara’s strength of will. Nor her passion.
As if it were a rune, Nara flared passion with all her might, overwhelming her sister with pure intention, angry and hot, crushing the dark twin with emotion, ardor, and intensity. Facing a vastly superior enemy, Kayna folded quickly, becoming like a fish hiding under a quiet lake. Not gone, but instead silent. Submissive. That fast, Nara had won. The contest was over.
Nara opened her eyes, but the images were cloudy. Clarity trickled into her muddy thoughts, but her vision remained slightly blurred. She was on her back, her body was in pain, and there was a figure standing over her.
Mykel. His arms were reaching out, but something was wrong. It was his face. So angry. And his hands. They were around her neck, squeezing like a vise. She couldn’t breathe, and her throat was in agony, her head pounding with pain and pressure.
She tried to push him off her, and as she reached toward him, she saw coral bracelets on her forearms. Rings on her fingers. Her spirit had moved. The final battle of wills had taken place in Kayna’s body.
And now, thinking she was the evil Queen, Mykel was killing her.
38
Peace
“You killed her!” Mykel screamed into Nara’s face, his breath hot and wet. “Spawn of Kai!”
The world around her faded, and all Nara could see was Mykel’s face, close, angry, twisted in pain and suffering. She tried to flare strength to push him off but couldn’t find the rune. She tried to flare health to keep from dying but couldn’t find it either. Protection? It was there, but it was fading. She flared it, but her hold on it faltered. Her runes were leaving her.
It’s me, she wanted to say to him. But his strength was too much. In an instant, she would be dead.
“Stop, Mykel. It’s not her!” It was Gwyn’s voice. “Stop!” Gwyn screamed.
Through her blurry vision, Nara saw Gwyn punching Mykel in his face, then in his ribs, but his powerful hands still strangled Nara.
Then a sword impaled Mykel in the right side of his chest. His stranglehold around Nara’s throat immediately relaxed.
“Let go of her!” It was Gwyn again, standing behind Mykel. She had just stabbed him. “That’s not Kayna!” Gwyn screamed.
Mykel let go and stood, while Nara tried to steady her dizzy head. Her throat hurt and her breathing came weakly. She remained on the ground, watching to see when he would attack her next. Mykel was standing face-to-face with Gwyn, a sword still sticking out of his chest.
“What are you doing?” Mykel asked, angrily.
“I know that looks like Kayna, but I was watching. She was draining Nara, then Nara’s light moved. It didn’t drain out like it should have, Mykel. It moved! Into Kayna. Then the lights merged. And changed. It’s one light, solid now, and it doesn’t look like either of them.”
They both looked down at Nara, who struggled for air, but she still couldn’t speak. Not yet. She might have one word, if she tried really hard. But even more horrible was the fact that Mykel still had a sword sticking out of his chest. Nara pointed to it, Gwyn removed the blade, and the wound closed quickly.
“Her eyes are different. White,” Mykel said as he knelt by Nara’s side, an angry expression on his face. “Who are you?”
Tell him. You have the strength.
The voice was familiar. Deep, powerful words that rang in her soul. She now knew where they came from and somehow wasn’t surprised. Summoning all her strength, Nara squeaked out a single word: “Bitty.”
A flash of recognition and shock came upon Mykel’s face. Then worry, and Mykel grabbed her. “I’m so sorry,” he said, embracing her tightly. “But how?” Tears and sweat wet her cheek as he pressed against her, his long hair falling around her face and breast. “How could this be? Oh, Nara, what have I done? I don’t understand. I don’t care. You’re alive!”
He lifted her from the ground, and she put a hand to her throat. So little air entered her lungs, her so breathing raspy and weak.
“Heal yourself, Bitty. Do it now. You can’t breathe.”
She tried to flare health, but it was gone. She shook her head.
“Get a knitter. Her throat is damaged,” Mykel yelled to Gwyn, his eyes still focused on Nara.
There was a risk of her airway closing with swelling if she didn’t get a knitter soon. Hopefully, Gwyn could find one among Kayna’s fleeing soldiers. The lack of air made her dizzy, but through the fog, she heard the sound of heavy footsteps. A large form coming close. Sammy.
Mykel sighed. “I thought I had you down again. You just keep coming, don’t you, big boy?”
Sammy looked from Mykel to Nara and back again, confused, then scratched his chin. Worrying that there would be another fight between the brothers, Nara held her hand up, motioning Sammy to stop. She pointed to him, then pointed down at the ground.
Sammy took a knee.
Still struggling to breathe but resolved to find peace here, Nara pushed against Mykel’s arm, signaling for him to set her down. When her feet touched the ground, her legs were weak and shaking, but with Mykel’s assistance, she was able to stand. She took several breaths, then motioned for Mykel to help walk forward, approaching Sammy to place her hand on his shoulder. She knew that he was her Beast, and he liked to have his back rubbed. She reached up and massaged his shoulder blade, feeling him relax under her touch.
Her breaths were coming easier now, but there was still a risk of her airway closing if she didn’t get a knitter soon.
“Nara?” Mykel said. “Look.” He pointed at her hair.
She reached back and grabbed it, pulling it forward so she could see.
Her hair was slowly changing from black to silver.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Mykel told Nara, as he gently barring her from standing on the battlefield slope, high above Fairmont. “Not for a while. Sit here some more.”
“They need help down there,” Nara said, eager to be part of the effort to heal the city. Several hours had passed since the earthquake and the victory over Kayna, but she was still so weak. Yet the damage to the city was her fault, and she wanted to be part of the solution.
“You’re no good at all to them right now.”
“Jahmai is doing just fine without you. You can still barely breathe. Rest for a while longer. Please.”
He was right. Thankfully, Gwyn had found a knitter whose healing helped to improve Nara’s condition, but her throat still ached, and a deep fatigue had overwhelmed her so profoundly that it was hard to even move. She had no strength. None at all.
Gwyn, Yury, and Lieutenant Martel were reassembling the armies to help the fallen in Fairmont. Citizens needed rescue from collapsed buildings, shelters needed to be organized, and injuries needed tending. She had asked Sammy to join them and he had quickly obeyed. If only Mykel would do the same.
“Please go help,” she said to him. “I can barely move, but you are still strong. They need help down there. Please.”
“In a while,” Mykel said, fingers fiddling with the ivory staff that lay on the ground next to him. “Right now, I’m staying with you. I’m your protection. At least until you get your runes back.”
“They’re not coming back,” she said. “When you were strangling me, I had hold of protection, but it faded too. I only have two, now.”
“Two runes. Sounds familiar.”
“Yes, it does,” she said. “That’s not all that sounds familiar. Gwyn, Yury, and Sammy. That’s three.”
Mykel gave her an odd look.
“The Humble Guardian of old. Anne’s Guardian. The histories said that he had three mighty men that gathered with him for every battle.”
“I forgot about that. But Gwyn is a woman.”
“Even better,” Nara said.
Mykel smiled. “I agree.” His gaze lingered on her. “But I’ll have to get used to your new hair. I liked it better when it was red.”
“A lot has changed, not just my hair. She’s here with me,” Nara said. She needed him to understand this. Everything was different, now. “No, that’s not right. She is me. I remember everything she lived through. Growing up with Papa. Life in Fairmont. Draining the life out of all those people. But I remember Dimmitt too. I remember it all. I’m Nara, and I’m Kayna.”
“But you talk like Nara. You look like her too. Except for the hair. And the eyes.”
“We’re twins, Mykel, of course I look like her. But my eyes don’t work well. Everything is blurry now.”
She closed her eyes and the sight rune popped into her vision instantly, although it looked slightly different than the versions she’d seen. More ornate. Richer. More powerful. When she flared it, she could see like never before. She could see things around her, she could see things that happened recently—the battle on the slope, her army escaping through the pass, and even the earthquake in Fairmont that brought some of the buildings down. A rich, powerful sight rune. On the periphery of her vision dwelled another rune, far more subtle. It was constantly flaring, yet very quiet, and hard to see. It wasn’t difficult to guess what it did.
“I don’t care if you’re different. I’m just glad you’re alive. I’m so sorry. About your throat and all.”
“You didn’t know. It’s okay.”
They were quiet for a time. So much had happened, and there was so much yet to do. The earthquake had done deadly work; Fairmont was a disaster and needed help. Other cities and villages would also be suffering. She had been Queen, but that would end, now. Many would blame her for all of this, and she deserved it. But she must help them rebuild, and she would need Mykel to keep her safe from those who would turn their anger toward her. He really was her Guardian, now.
“Anne is dead,” she said.
The words were hard to say because they didn’t come with the feelings she had expected them to bring. Mourning. Pain. Sadness. None of that. Maybe it was because Anne wasn’t dead at all. Her body had failed, but Nara was confident that Anne was now more alive than she had ever been, and she couldn’t bring herself to grieve. Still, she missed her and would miss her in the years to come, for sure.
“I know,” Mykel said. “Gwyn found her corpse. I wasn’t going to tell you yet, but–”
“I met her. I must have died too.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“It’s hard to explain, and I don’t remember it very well. But I talked with her.”
“What did she say?”
“Something about being patient. And having work to do, but there was more. And I've been thinking. This has all happened before, Mykel. She didn’t tell me that, but I know it to be true. The destruction of the Breshi. It happened like this. And Anne was part of it.”
Nara struggled to remember the conversation, which must have occurred when Kayna harvested her, or killed her, or whatever it was that happened.
“I felt peace where we were. And Dei loved us. But I’m not sure if that’s His name. Anne never called Him that.”
“Did you meet Him?”
“No. I would remember that I think. But I learned some things. I just can’t remember what they were.”
“I’m just glad you’re alive,” he said. “And we won, Nara. It was crazy, but we won. Kayna’s army has scattered.”
“Many have died. It was a high price to pay.”
“At least Sammy is alive. He’s different, but he’s alive. He doesn’t remember me, but I don’t care.”
“Of course you care. But with time, he may remember. When I changed him, it destroyed most of his memories. And I manipulated him. It was easy because he never had a mama, and he wanted one so badly. Did he ever tell you that?”
The look on Mykel’s face was one of shock, then it changed, his brows furrowing and lips pursing. This was hard for him. He didn’t understand that Kayna wasn’t dead. She was every bit as alive as Nara, although Kayna’s lack of passion had made her easily overcome. How could she explain this to him?
Maybe she just did.
“I told you, I’m not the Nara you remember,” she said. “It will take you a while to realize this, I’m sure. But I am the horrible person who ordered the kidnapping of Sammy. The death of all those people in Dimmit, too. And I am the person who grew up with you. I loved you my whole life. I love you now. We battled against the darkness together, and we have work to do. My foolishness caused a lot of pain. We need to help them all. Please accept this. Not now, but someday. Accept this. Accept all of me.”
The look on his face changed to one of doubt and confusion.
“And forgive me.”
He looked away, then stood up but didn’t leave. “I don’t know.”
Give him time. He’ll come around.
It was Him again. Now she knew why Anne was always talking to the trees and the sky. Perhaps she was never alone all those years after all.
“I’ll need your help.”
She looked up at Mykel, but he didn’t meet her gaze. She struggled to rise from her sitting position and reached to put a hand on his shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”
“I have a question,” he said, turning to face her.
She must look terrible, with cloudy eyes, pale hair, and wearing a torn, scorched dress.
“Ask.”
“In all of this, with how we were wrong about Sammy, how we were angry about what Kayna did to the villages.”
“Not what Kayna did. What I did.”
“Listen. Are you still mad at Dei?”
She paused to think about that for a moment. Her heart had changed. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the battle, the regret she felt about her own actions, or how Kayna was now a part of her; a quiet, but important part of her. She felt different, now. Her passion was tempered, the anger at her circumstances now faded, having transformed into an urgency at what must be done in the weeks and months ahead. But there was appreciation as well. And peace. Peace because she knew that there was a plan and that she wasn’t the one in charge. The weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders.
“Maybe a little, but not like before. He has a story to tell, Mykel. It’s a painful one, but somehow it works out
and I understand that, now. I’m more disappointed than angry. Disappointed in myself. I want to do better, I try to do better, but I fail, and that frustrates me. But I know that this is His story, and we’re just players in it. Actors on a grand stage that will someday fade away. We don’t have to like our roles, but we should love Him because He’s worthy of it. And because He loved us first. He is good. And He plans good things in the end. It’s all going to be okay; I know that now. He has crafted a beautiful story, with a beautiful ending for each of us.”
Mykel nodded, pausing for a moment as if taking her words to heart.
“Maybe I should go help.” He kneeled to pick the ivory staff off the ground, then held it by his side as he looked out over the city below. His tall, proud form gave her confidence that he would have an important role in reshaping the Great Land in the years to come. She was grateful to have him.
“There is more,” she said, then looked up at the sky and gave an appreciative smile. “Something else has changed. For so long I prayed and heard nothing. I begged, and He was silent. In the middle of great pain, I prayed. And in quiet moments, I prayed. But He never responded with anything more than a feeling. Or a gentle breeze. It was a big part of what angered me because I felt so alone. It’s different now because I know He hears me. He hears us all. He’s our Father, our Creator, and He loves us dearly.”
She reached out to Mykel, grabbing his left hand with both of hers. He turned his head and she looked into his eyes and gave him a big smile. “And I can finally hear His voice.”
39
Thank You
Thank you for reading Finding Kai. If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving an honest review on Amazon.com. Sharing your opinions with other readers helps us create great stories for you to enjoy.
It has been an adventure and again, I thank you.
The Godseeker Duet Page 55
