Chapter Forty-Five
Reagan returned from the Bruester Bank and Trust astounded by the small fortune George had amassed for his daughter. After transferring Amanda’s dowry to Reagan’s account, George then combined two trusts started by her grandparents into a single account to which Amanda would have sole access. A courier would convey the official documents to her later that week.
In good spirits, Reagan sat in the study arranging invoices to be paid in order of importance. Later that night, he announced to the family he would be leaving the following morning. Though silent, Amanda managed a calm demeanor as Reagan discussed business matters with Thomas. Not until alone in their chambers did she venture conversation.
Propped against the pillows, she watched Reagan fill two satchels with clothing. He had unbuttoned his shirt and it undulated softly as he moved. “Will you be leaving early?” she asked.
“Pretty early, I’m afraid,” he said, glancing at her. Ever since his boorish behavior in the library, he expected Amanda to remain aloof, if not icy. Making up with her suddenly seemed more important than packing. Approaching the bed, he leaned against a post. “Will you miss me?”
Already feeling alone in the bed, she nodded.
“I’ll miss you, too,” he said, sitting beside her. “I’m sorry for my cross words yesterday.” He stroked her hair, fascinated by its silkiness. “Truly, there was no cause, and I apologize if I hurt your feelings.”
Amanda’s lip trembled while tears began spilling down her cheeks. How could love form in his heart when she was nothing but an intrusion?
“Come here,” he murmured, pulling her against him. He let her use his shoulder as a mop while he rubbed her back and brushed her tears with his shirttail. After awhile, her sniffles ceased and she relaxed in his arms, sighing contentedly.
Amanda didn’t pull away when Reagan lifted her and leaned against the headboard, draping her across his lap. Within this cocoon-like embrace, he savored her weight against his groin as well as the lavender scent from her recent bath. “You smell good,” he murmured, rubbing his cheek against her hair. “Feel good, too.”
Amanda snuggled against his chest, listening to the cadence of his heart. “When you hold me like this, I feel safe,” she whispered.
“You are safe, you little ninny. So safe, in fact,” he said, tilting her chin, “not even Hell’s demons would dare breach that yonder door.” Gazing into her eyes, Reagan became suddenly awed by his emotions. It was as if her very nearness kindled the urge to protect her and from the depths of that awareness came a need to possess that which was his. His eyes dropped lower and his breath caught when he viewed a peaked crest outlined against her gown. Desire flooded his loins. Dipping his head, he slowly, languidly possessed her mouth, tasting salty tears. To his delight, Amanda didn’t resist, but reached upward, encircling his neck with an urgency that belied her earlier coolness. Needing no further incentive, Reagan lifted her and holding her thus, pressed her into the pillows where his body held her trapped.
They stared at each other, neither wanting to break the spell seemingly cast by an unknown sorceress. Reagan brushed hair strands from Amanda’s face before cupping her cheek. The first gentle brush against her lips turned into hungry assault as he delved once again into her yielding mouth. With growing passion, he felt the need to discover anew every part of her, taste her lips and touch her skin.
Amanda’s breath left her when his searching mouth found a breast through an opening in her gown and eagerly took possession, caressing her with his tongue. From somewhere in the recesses of her mind the thought arose she should refuse him for his callous disregard of her feelings. It wasn’t too late. She could end it now. But even as her mind demanded she deny him, her body begged for his touch and she clung to him with an abandon she didn’t understand.
Amanda’s quickening breath stirred Reagan but he did not rush as he savored each moment of heightened pleasure. His hands found her hips and pressing himself against her, his need grew while his lips traced a path between her soft, heaving mounds.
She became aware that her gown provided no protection as his hand began a slow ascent up her thigh, halting at her womanhood. With his palm, he applied gentle pressure at the same time his mouth claimed a peaked nipple. She gasped as a pulsing sensation began in her lower body and expanded upward until she felt near consumed. With a will of their own, her hands slid over his shoulders and past his ribs, pushing away his shirt. Reagan feverishly shed his clothes before stripping away her shift.
“I get lost in you,” he breathed, sweeping her nakedness with his gaze. His mouth became a firebrand burning a path between her breasts and over her belly. When he again latched onto a pliant peak, she arched in unbearable pleasure, her heart beating a frantic rhythm that matched the throbbing in her loins. The pulsing cadence became a raging fire that demanded to be quenched. Breathing raggedly, she lifted her knees while Reagan lowered his hips between her thighs, his blunt hardness entering in one swift motion.
As her warmth surrounded him, he groaned in pleasure, pausing to hold back every sensation that screamed to be fulfilled. Amanda wasn’t aware the exact moment he began to move but with his hands cradling her shoulders, he began thrusting with vigor. The fusion of their bodies melded them into one as they moved in quickening tempo, straining toward their common goal. Amanda pulled Reagan’s mouth to hers in a primal desire to be completely possessed and in that moment, believed she was wanted, needed by the man she had betrothed her love. There was no barrier to be breached, no uprooting of hope when she lay entwined in his arMs. As the budding, blossoming pleasure intensified, Amanda met his passion with a fire of her own, arching, rising to meet him until a bursting of a thousand flickering pulses washed over her. When she cried out, Reagan gripped her tightly; his own crescendo of pleasure engulfing him in what seemed a never-ending convulsion.
Amanda felt Reagan’s lips nuzzling her throat before he lifted himself to lie beside her, and in the warm aftermath, Amanda sighed contentedly. Indeed, she felt more than wanted as he kissed her, encompassing her with his arms and nestling behind her.
Sometime during the night, Reagan awoke to feel the press of Amanda’s breasts against his side. As she snuggled against him, his ardor was aroused anew. His searching lips awakened her and they made love slowly, knowing it would be the last intimacy they would share for a long time.
When Amanda awakened again, she found herself alone in the bed. Startled, she sat up and looked around. “Reagan?”
“Go back to sleep,” he urged from across the darkened room. “I’m getting dressed. It’s too early for you to be up.”
“But, I want to be with you,” she said.
“Let me build a fire first,” he said. “Then you can get up.”
Reagan stirred ashes in the hearth before stacking wood pieces. He then laid a match, fanning the flames til the room warmed.
“Would you please bring me my wrapper?” Amanda said.
“I’d much rather see you do it,” Reagan said, laughing. “I know you’re not wearing a stitch.” After bringing her robe and slippers, he turned his back in gentlemanly fashion.
Amanda retreated to the bath chamber but soon emerged with her hair brushed and a chemise under her robe. “Would you like to join me for breakfast?” Reagan asked, gathering his gear.
“I don’t know. Are you cooking?” Amanda said with a grin.
“Don’t worry. Mother usually makes sure something’s prepared.” After descending the stairs, he set his gear near the front door before entering the dining room. As Reagan assisted Amanda into a chair, the cook entered with a tray and pot of coffee. “Will you be dining as well, madam?”
“No thanks, just coffee.” Amanda said, accepting a cup. She tried not to grimace as she took a sip.
“Here, this’ll help,” said Reagan, retrieving the sugar dish. “It’s probably stronger than you’re used to.”
After finishing his meal, Reagan rubbed his bristled jaw.
“I’m regrowing my beard. By spring, you’ll scarce recognize me.”
“Mayhap, it’ll seem as if I’ve acquired a second husband.”
Reagan laughed before standing. “With the memories we created last night, I’ll come to you in any form you wish.”
“Is it time to go?”
“Just as soon as I take you upstairs and tuck you into bed.”
As they climbed the stairs, Amanda felt the weight of their impending separation. “Where exactly is this lumber camp? Is it far away?” she asked. And when he didn’t immediately answer, she hastened to add. “Sorry. I-I was just interested.”
“That’s okay. I can fix that,” he said. Upon entering their room, Reagan opened his bureau and withdrew a folded paper. “Here’s my map.” He opened it to trace a marked line with his finger. “This is the route I’m taking, and there’s my destination, the Cattaraugus River in New York.”
Amanda inspected the course as it tracked northeast, ending near Lake Erie. “I see,” she said refolding it. “That helps.”
He thrust the map back into her hands. “You keep it. You might find it interesting to follow. It takes about a week to get there.”
“But won’t you need it?” she said, setting the map aside.
“No, I’ve traveled the distance enough times that a map isn’t necessary. Now back to bed you go,” he said, steering her toward the bed. “It’s still too early for a lady to be up.”
Amanda giggled as Reagan peeled off her wrapper and tossed her among the quilts. “But, I won’t be able to sleep.”
“Sure you will. Just lie back and close your eyes.”
“All right,” she conceded. “But, I want a kiss goodbye.”
“Whatever the lady wishes.” Leaning over, Reagan gave her a feathery peck. But Amanda impulsively wrapped her arms around him, prolonging the embrace.
“Whoa! If you kiss me like that, I may have to take you with me.” He made as if to draw back the covers.
“Indeed!” Amanda said, blushing. “You’d think I displayed a wanton act of lewdness.”
Reagan laughed, not at all put out by her boldness. He brushed her cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as weather permits.”
After he left, all of Amanda’s uncertainties came flooding back. Did he truly want her or was he simply duty bound? Drawing Reagan’s pillow against her, she drifted to sleep, not awakening until the maid brought water for her bath. Sitting up, she pulled the map from the nightstand to study the markings. She sighed. All her questions would just have to wait. When Reagan returned next spring, the rumors should have faded and Aunt Ella’s secrets would finally be safe.
Chapter Forty-Six
In the days following Reagan’s departure, Amanda received various invitations to New Year celebrations. About the same time, events occurred around the country that stirred the curiosity, but not much else, of those in Cantonsville. Many felt that reasoned men would find a solution to South Carolina’s Ordinance of Secession as well as resignations from the Secretaries of Treasury, State and War. Few believed the country was verging on war but were of the opinion that the new president would put any discontent to rest. Though South Carolina’s leaving Congress raised eyebrows, it didn’t cause many to rethink their planned festivities. After all, it was so very far away.
Amanda agreed with Thomas that due to somber times, they would forego any festivities. She declined all her own invitations, but promised instead to visit as soon as her husband returned.
With little else to occupy her time, Amanda often studied Reagan’s map. She envisioned a forest where snow fell softly, and a cabin nestled far from prying eyes. Her daydreams were filled with promises of love, if she could only share winter with her husband.
Each lonely night reminded her how accustomed she had become to the warmth of Reagan’s body. Alone under the quilts, she found that it now took far longer to fall asleep. Often, her dreams were troubled, with visions of Jebediah and his henchmen. She would awaken, her heart aching for the comforting protection of her husband’s nearness.
With barely a week gone by since Reagan’s departure, Amanda began dreading nights. Between interludes of sleep, an implausible idea sprang to mind. At first she dismissed the fantasy as foolish, yet it constantly plagued her, blossoming like a flower starved for sunshine. Unable to eradicate the notion, she decided to uproot the thought once and for all by proving it couldn’t be done. She went into town on the pretense of shopping, waiting until the carriage left before entering the nearest hotel and approaching the desk.
“May I help you?” the clerk asked.
“I wish to enquire if you have any scouts occupying your rooms,” Amanda said. “Someone to take a person on a trip.”
“Don’t you mean the stagecoach?” He indicated a chalkboard with destinations, dates and times written across it. “The circuit runs a few more weeks. After that, it’ll depend on the weather.”
Amanda shook her head. “No. There aren’t any routes where this person’s going.”
“I see,” he said, scratching his head. “Well ma’am, it’s possible we might have someone like that. Seeing it’s so far into winter, that is.”
Amanda’s heart beat faster. “Then, would you be so kind as to post an inquiry? Just say a person wishing to travel to New York needs an experienced guide who can follow a map. Please include he’ll be well paid.”
“May I ask if the scout’s for you?”
“No, you may not!” Amanda struggled to keep panic from her voice. If the Burnsfields discovered she was trying to join Reagan, they would put an immediate halt to her plans.
She opened her purse and withdrew a bank note. “This is for your trouble and your silence.” Amanda pushed the five-dollar bill toward him. “If anyone responds, please inform him I’ll return in two days.”
Shrugging his shoulders, the clerk decided it wasn’t his concern. “I’ll post it today,” he said, stuffing the bill in his pocket.
Amanda left the same inquiries at two other hotels before making a purchase at the hat shop. The next two days seemed like an eternity. One moment she felt emboldened at the possibility of a guide, the next, she prayed there would be no takers.
Amanda returned to town two days later. There were no respondents at the first two hotels. She entered the last one with little hope until the clerk pointed to where an unkempt man sat hunched over, sleeping. Approaching the bench, she touched his shoulder and instantly two steel-gray eyes snapped open.
“What’cha want?”
The man’s face, covered with a beard, appeared so weathered she couldn’t tell if he were closer to forty or sixty years old. His clothes lacked a good washing and by his odor, Amanda doubted he bothered to bathe.
“Are you a scout?”
The man sat up, inspecting her closely. “You’re the one with the note? Surely, you ain’t the one I’m being hired for.”
“I can sit a horse,” Amanda said. “I’ll only need your services for one week. Besides, you’ll be well paid.”
He crossed his arms. “I don’t take women,” he stated flatly. “Not in winter, not anytime, but especially not in winter.”
“I see,” she said. “I assume you don’t need five hundred dollars then, either.” She hadn’t intended on such a sum. In fact, half that amount was what she had thought to offer. But, losing her only chance to be with Reagan emboldened her to raise the amount.
Her hopes grew with the man’s silence. “Five hundred dollars. Will you accept?”
“What in hell’s tarnation do you need me for? They got stagecoaches for you women folk.”
“I wish to be with my husband and where he is, no stagecoach goes.”
“Did he send for you?” He snorted as Amanda shook her head. “A man don’t send for his wife and you want me to take you to him?”
“It’s a surprise. He told me before he left, he wanted me to come.”
“Any man that’d leave a smart lookin’ woman like you at home must’ve had goo
d reason. I don’t figure he’d be too happy with me doing him a favor he didn’t ask for!”
“My husband won’t take you to task. Besides, you’d be on your way the minute we stepped into camp.”
Cocking up his battered hat, he scowled at Amanda. “Camp? What kind of camp you talkin’ about?”
“My husband is a lumberman--”
“Now hold on,” he said, sitting straighter. “Taking a female on horseback is one thing, but into the forest is downright stupid.”
“One week,” Amanda repeated, holding out her map. “Or, should I look for someone else?”
The man mulled it over several moments. The money from his last job was nearly depleted. With malcontents becoming bold below the Mason-Dixon, few were willing to travel where he plied his trade this time of year.
He gave an exasperated sigh, snatching the map. “You cain’t wear them,” he said, gesturing toward her clothes.
“I have riding outfits,” she said. “Will those do?”
“Them ain’t warm enough.” He eyed her a moment longer before speaking. “You ever pissed in the woods?”
Amanda bit back an outraged reply. If he were trying to shock her, he had surely succeeded.
“Have you slept in an open field with only a fire to warm your backside?” he asked gruffly. “That, my fine filly, is what you’re asking from me…paying me for.”
Amanda swallowed hard. “Surely there’ll be places to stop along the way.”
“On the trail, I make the decisions,” he said. “We may have to bypass them stops because it’s late in the season.”
“I can do it,” she said, thinking she could endure anything for a week. So, do you accept my offer?”
“If I’m not held accountable for any mishap along the way. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, but I can git you there.” He frowned a warning. “But, if you prove to be a bother, I’ll turn around and bring you home, missy. I ain’t no babysitter.”
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