She put her finger to his lips. “Shhh…There is a silver lining, Chase. Don’t you see? These”—she traced a welt on her side—“made me strong. These made me able to survive anything life would throw my way. These brought me to you. For what I’m feeling right now, I’d do everything the same.”
“Jessie…sweetheart, little darlin’, I’m so, so sorry.” His voice was hoarse, congested.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, comforting him. “It was long ago, and they don’t hurt anymore.” She finished pulling her night rail over her head and tossed it to the side. She lay back in the hay, a silent invitation.
Chapter Forty-three
Her eyes glistened in anticipation, her mouth soft, wanting. Chase believed now there was a God in heaven, for no one else could have created a creature so beautiful. She surpassed his every dream.
Jessie blushed at his intense scrutiny, but she held her ground. Suddenly, looking wasn’t enough. He brought his mouth to hers.
Something inside him whispered to slow down, savor every second. But he couldn’t.
With each kiss, each touch, Chase aimed to give Jessie more pleasure than she’d ever felt. Her small cries of bliss urged him on until he could wait no more. The two became one.
Her sudden cry of pain stopped him cold.
“Jessie?” Chase smoothed her hair back from her brow. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breathing was shallow.
“It’s all right,” she murmured. She reached up and touched his face.
His heart slammed in his chest. “I hurt you,” he whispered against her silky skin.
“The pain’s almost gone.”
Remorse filled him. If he’d known before, he’d have taken much more time, gone slowly, prepared her better. He’d have waited until they were in a big, soft bed, for goodness sake. This explained Nathan’s cavorting behavior the night he’d been killed. All this time he’d been judging Nathan unfairly for spending so many days away from his wife. He should have been thanking him instead.
“What is it?” she asked quietly.
“Just a little something that must have been meant to be,” he replied softly, as his gaze caught and held hers.
Slowly, everything except Jessie faded into darkness and they began to move together again. Awareness of her was heady intoxication. Her final cries of pleasure were music to his ears. He collapsed onto the hay and pulled her close, their hearts beating as one.
Moments slipped by, and she didn’t make a sound. He began to get worried. “Jessie?”
“Mmmm.”
“You all right?”
“Mmmm…”
With effort, Chase rolled his head so he could see her face. His chest filled with emotion. She loved him. She’d said so earlier. But still he could hardly believe it.
“I wish you’d told me you were…you know, a virgin,” he said gently, brushing a strand of her hair from her forehead. “I’d…have done things differently. At least made sure we were on a bed. How is it possible you…?” Chase stopped, then began again. “After a year of marriage…?”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Nathan was a good man. He thought of me as a girl needing help, not a wife.”
Chase’s eyes searched hers for regret, a hint of what she was thinking.
As if she knew what he was wondering about, she snuggled in closer. “I liked it just the way it was,” she whispered, feeling a bit daring. “I wouldn’t have wanted it any different.”
“That so?” Chase ran his finger down her side, and she giggled. “Talking pretty big, aren’t you?”
Jessie raised her eyebrows.
He stopped his tickling.
She put her lips close to his ear. “Maybe we could go inside where it’s a little warmer. That big, soft bed sounds really nice.”
Days flew by. Thanksgiving arrived. Jessie had never hoped—or even dared to dream—that she could be this happy.
Frank joined them for dinner and brought a letter from Mrs. Hollyhock. She said she was doing fine. Beth had up and run off with some gambler in the middle of one night. Mrs. Hollyhock had sold her mercantile to Garth and planned on taking a holiday to Logan. If she liked it, she just might make it her home. “That is,” she’d written, “if Mr. Logan wouldn’t mind.” Jessie was delighted. Chase groaned.
Sarah’s eyes grew as round as moons when Chase lifted the turkey out of the oven, golden brown and smelling delicious. But when she’d learned it was her beloved Mr. Tom, she’d refused to eat a bite.
“Poor, poor Mr. Tom,” she cried, running from the room. Chase, confounded, rode straightaway into town and brought back one of the kittens Jessie had seen in Miller’s Mercantile the week before. She was a fluffy calico, with a sweet personality. Sarah cuddled and kissed her and immediately named her Patches.
Between the two hired hands and the boys, Chase had almost all the help he needed to run the ranch smoothly. It would take a few years to build the herds back up to their previous count, but that didn’t bother him. He liked a challenge.
Jessie watched him leave the house each morning and eagerly awaited his return for the noon meal. The boys had taken to sleeping and eating in the bunkhouse with the hired men, but always attended Sunday service with Jessie and Sarah and stayed up at the big house for supper. Chase was making huge strides in his reading and writing, and was able to read to Sarah from a level-one reader. He looked forward to it each and every evening.
The privacy was heavenly. After Sarah was put to bed, they spent many long hours together, learning what each loved the most. Mrs. Hollyhock’s wedding gift was put to the test, to Chase’s delight, and he vowed to buy Jessie a new one each year on their anniversary.
“I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas, sweetie,” Jessie said, her heart trembling with happiness as she brushed Sarah’s long, curly locks. “What present should we get for your pa?”
Tipping her head in thought, Sarah’s eyes twinkled back at Jessie from her chamber-set mirror. Her little fingers played with the cup put there to hold her toothbrush.
“A kitty.” Excitement at the prospect made her little body quiver.
Jessie laughed. “I don’t know. I think one kitty per household is enough, don’t you?” They both watched as Patches, tiny claws snagging, climbed quickly up the side of Sarah’s quilt. “I’d like to have a few things left intact by the time she’s grown. What else can you think of?”
“Umm…” A serious expression crossed the child’s face.
“We could knit socks,” Jessie went on. She could tell the idea didn’t strike Sarah as quite as grand as a kitten.
“And we could make him some fudge.” Sarah smiled at her idea, this one almost as good as a kitten.
“That’s a nice idea,” Jessie replied. “How about if we also make him a warm flannel shirt to match the socks we knit?” That was enough to make it sound exciting to the child, and she nodded enthusiastically. “We’ll pick out a pretty color when we go into town tomorrow. That’ll give us a whole week to finish it before Christmas.”
“Pa will love Christmas,” Sarah said purposely. Chase had been filling her head with story upon story of Saint Nicholas. He’d even promised her a real tree, in the house, with all the trimmings.
Jessie left Sarah playing on her bed with Patches. She went to the pantry and took out the fixings for supper. If she wasn’t mistaken, she would have the most wonderful Christmas present to give Chase. Although it was too soon to be sure, Jessie was almost certain. Her heart ached with happiness thinking of the pleasure a baby would give him.
She should’ve started her monthly three days ago. By Christmas, she’d be almost two weeks late. Her hand absently slipped down and caressed the part that she was sure nestled their child.
The sound of boots crossing the porch drew Jessie out of her reverie. The door opened, and Chase stepped in.
“You’re home early!”
Crossing the room, Chase scooped her into his arms and carried her into the living
room. Sitting down, he held her in his lap.
“You complaining, Mrs. Logan?” he drawled, burying his face in the thick mass of Jessie’s hair. He kissed her neck, sending delicious shivers curling down her spine.
“Never.” She could barely get the word out. It amazed her how just the sight of him could intoxicate her so.
Sarah, hearing his voice, came scampering out of her room. She planted herself in front of them expectantly. “Hi, Da.”
“Hi, dumpling,” he said giving Sarah a wink. “How’s my best girl?”
“I’m fine. You wanna hold Patches?”
“I sure do. Can you find her for me?”
Off Sarah ran.
“You’re wily as a fox, Chase Logan,” Jessie laughed.
“With luck, Patches is tucked away somewhere real good.” Chase nuzzled Jessie’s neck.
A knock sounded on the door. “Shoot. Can’t a man have a little privacy in his own home?” he grumbled. Then, louder: “Who’s there?”
“Jake,” came the reply.
“Come in.”
Jake opened the door. His hat dangling in his hands, he glanced around the room and then spotted the pair on the chair together. “I’ll come back later.”
“No, no, it’s all right. Come in,” Jessie said, standing and straightening her clothes. Chase stood also. “What is it?”
Jake came farther into the room. “We found some sort of campsite past the north pasture, hidden in the trees. It seems abandoned now. We couldn’t find anyone, but it didn’t seem that old.”
Chase went to the door and put his hat on. “You looked real good?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, pass the word around to keep a sharp eye out. I don’t like the sound of that.”
Awakening the next morning, Jessie reached a hand behind her and felt for Chase’s warm body. It had snowed long into the night, and Jessie relished the memories of clinging to him in the darkness. To her disappointment, she found his side of the bed empty and cold. She figured he was down at the barn, checking the mares that had been delivered two days earlier. Well, she’d just get up and start a hearty breakfast for him. He’d no doubt be back shortly, wanting food and kisses.
Smiling, she wrapped herself in the warm, fluffy robe Chase had brought home from town. He’d gotten a matching one for Sarah, saying a little widow woman in town made them and needed the money. Pooh. He’d been spoiling them both rotten. She worried about him spending too much money.
Feeling cold air, Jessie stepped out of the bedroom to find the front door ajar. It was only slightly cracked, but it was so unlike Chase to go off and accidentally leave it open. Especially in this cold weather. Her smile faded as she hurried to close it.
Fear.
For the first time in so long, a bad feeling stole through her. She shook her head, telling herself she was being silly; not even Chase was perfect, even though she liked to think so.
With porridge on and biscuits in the oven, she set about tidying up. Sarah was a one-girl whirlwind. If she didn’t keep up with the messes the child made, it wouldn’t be long before they’d be up to their waists in clutter.
Doll, books, and buttons in hand, Jessie tiptoed into the girl’s room. Not wanting to wake Sarah so early, she set the things carefully on the child’s rocker and turned to leave. Again Jessie was hit with unease.
Turning back to Sarah’s bed, she froze.
It was empty.
Chapter Forty-four
“Sarah?”
No answer.
“Sarah? Come out here right now! I’m in no mood for silly games.”
There was still no reply, and Jessie’s heart began to pound uncontrollably. Calm down, she told herself. She has to be here. Think!
“Sweetie, your porridge is done. Come to the table and you can put some honey on it.”
Jessie waited. A noise. She wanted to hear Sarah coming out of hiding. Needed to see her running, jumping into her arms. But there was only silence. “I’m not playing, Sarah,” Jessie whispered, barely able to get the words out. “I’m not playing…”
Scraping in the other room grabbed Jessie’s attention. Her breath came out in a gush of relief, and she hurried to the kitchen to find Patches nosing her milk dish hungrily. With a pitiful mew, the kitten rubbed against Jessie’s leg.
She picked the kitty up for a moment and rubbed the soft fur against her cheek. Then panic enveloped her. “Sarah!” she yelled. Putting the cat down, she flung the door open and rushed outside.
Chase and Gabe heard her screams a good quarter mile away. Leaving the fence they’d been mending, Chase spurred Cody, whirling the horse around, and galloped all the way back to the ranch. The gelding leaped and surged through snowdrifts, his powerful legs straining with each effort.
Sliding to a stop, Chase vaulted from the saddle.
“Jessie?”
Around the front of the ranch house Jessie came, fighting her way through the snow. Her skirt was wet and muddy and her eyes wild with fear.
He grabbed her shoulders.
“Where’s Sarah?”
“Gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“She wasn’t in her bed when I got up.” Jessie’s voice shook so hard she could barely get the words out. “The door was ajar. I’ve looked everywhere, Chase! She’s gone!”
By this time, Gabe had made it back to the house on foot. He was holding his side, gasping for breath.
“What is it? Where’s Sarah?” His voice cracked with anguish.
Jessie would have crumpled to the ground if Chase hadn’t still held her in his arms. “I don’t know.”
“Sarah!” Gabe’s powerful voice rang out crisply, all boyishness gone. “Sarah?”
Chase turned Jessie toward the house. “Get back inside and get your old shotgun out. Stay there while Gabe and I search the area.”
“I won’t. I’m looking for Sarah, too.”
“No, you’ll do as I say,” Chase said sternly. “If I have to worry about you, I’ll be distracted. I need to know you’re safely locked away in the house. Besides, there’s a chance Sarah just wandered off and will come back.” He didn’t believe it, but if it kept Jessie in the house, that’s just what he’d meant to do. The child wasn’t within hearing distance, he’d bet his life on it. “You don’t want her finding the house empty do you?”
“Of course not,” Jessie cried. “I just want to find her. Bring her back, Chase. Please find her.”
“We will. We’ll find her.” He smoothed the damp hair from her face and kissed her forehead.
“Chase, over here,” Gabe shouted from behind the smoke shack. With Jake draped across his back, Gabe staggered out from behind the building, his friend’s weight almost enough to topple him.
Chase ran to help. “Let’s get him inside.”
Jessie held the door open while Chase and Gabe carried Jake’s limp form into the house and laid him on their bed. Chase covered him with a blanket.
He felt for Jake’s pulse. “He’s alive,” Chase said, also checking the knot on his head. “He was hit pretty damn hard, though. I’d say he’s lucky to be breathing. You’ll have to tend to him, Jessie. I’ve got to go after Sarah.”
Jessie gasped. “You think someone’s taken her?” She turned from wrapping Jake in another blanket.
Chase nodded grimly. “I’m afraid it’s looking that way, what with this done to Jake. Gabe—” He turned abruptly to the boy. “Now that Jake’s unconscious and I know what I’m looking for, you’re going to stay here with Jessie.”
“No!” Gabe shouted.
Chase all but lost his temper. “Listen to me. With the other hands in town, I need someone here in case whoever took Sarah decides to return.”
Gabe’s face was hot with defiance. Shaking his head, he fished in his pocket and pulled out something in his hand. “I found this in the snow lying next to Jake. Whoever hit him must have dropped it.”
Jessie’s eyes opened wide. “Let me see that
,” she said in a wobbly voice. She took the silver, heart-shaped locket from Gabe and turned it over. The name Jessie was there for everyone to see. She looked up at Chase in confusion.
“This is mine. I gave it to Nathan when we got married. He kept it with him always. What could this mean?”
Chase’s mind went blank. In all his happiness of the last few weeks, he’d pushed away the detail of Jessie’s stolen money and the locket. He’d tried to tell her several times, but he could never quite make it sound right. Besides, in light of their marriage and the new ranch and everything that had happened, it all seemed irrelevant now. A forgotten piece of the past. One that could rip his happiness apart. His heart thumped in his chest and his guilt beckoned. Jessie must have seen his recognition.
“Chase?”
“It is your locket.”
She looked from his face down to the heart in her hand and then back into his eyes. “How do you know?”
“Because I was supposed to give it to you when I delivered the news about Nathan. There was also his pay, six hundred and ninety-eight dollars. But with all the commotion over the adoption, and then…Well, I forgot to give it to you before I rode out.”
He couldn’t stand to watch as understanding dawned. The love he’d grown so used to seeing, feeling, was replaced with suspicion and hurt.
Deflated, Jessie pulled a chair from the kitchen table and sat slowly, thinking. The tension was thick, smothering. Moments ticked by, and Patches jumped into her lap. Jessie buried her face in the cat’s soft fur.
“That’s why you came back,” she whispered, still holding Patches to her face. Chase and Gabe stood as still as stone. Now, she turned and looked up at him. “To return my money. Not because you wanted to help me. Not out of the goodness in your heart, as I so naively thought, but because you owed it to me. Isn’t that right?”
Chapter Forty-five
Chase wanted to lie in the worst of ways. To make up some far-fetched story, fabricate his way out of this nightmare. But he couldn’t. Not to Jessie.
Where The Wind Blows Page 23
