by Jayne Blue
“I, uh, no. I don’t.” The last thing I wanted was less Kase. But he’d gone against club orders to punish Gooch for what happened to me. Would he have done that if I was just Brogan’s kid sister?
“I don’t want to either, that means you have to be more careful too.”
“Are you saying what happened to me was my fault?” I felt my temper rise at that implication.
“NO, no. I am just saying you have to understand that it’s dangerous out there. And Brogan has me protecting you for a reason. He’s an officer, he’s got shit to do from Ridge day and night. He can’t look after you the way I can.”
“I’m not a child.”
“No, but you are a target, all the people we love are.”
The word love stopped my heart. This wasn’t love, was it? Had our fling turned into something more? I wanted to believe I had control over what was happening. I wanted to believe that Kase and I were having fun.
But that word, love...that was another thing. It scared me. It scared me more, somehow than Bane, or whatever was out there.
I needed to lighten this up or change the subject. I needed to focus on something other than whatever was happening between Kase and me.
“Look, I’ll be more careful. I don’t want you going out there and fighting or whatever. I don’t want to put you in more danger. And I don’t want us to hurt Brogan.”
“Me either, me either.” He leaned down on my bed and returned to the place I loved him to be, next to me.
There was that word again. I returned to the nook under his arm.
“I had a meeting at the bank today.” I brought it up to try to steer the conversation in a new direction. My news from the bank wasn’t good, but at least it wasn’t hot secret sex with a helping of lies on top.
“You left here?” Kase stiffened. Crap. This was not my best idea, copping to the fact that I’d left the golden cage of the M.C.
“BP went with me.”
“He’s still a kid, a probie. Next time I go with you.”
“Fine, it was a crappy trip anyway, bad news.”
“What? You need some money, whatever it is?”
Kase was there, ready to give me cash now. Where were the brakes? I needed to pump them!
“Ugh, just listen. I tried to get a loan, to expand Friendly Forest, to make us a viable alternative to all the preschools that are closing. You remember I told you about that?”
“Sure, yeah, okay.”
I wasn’t sure if Kase did remember. He seemed to be falling asleep as I talked.
“Anyway, they denied my loan. I don’t have a solid enough business plan, no track record, no collateral, and no partner since I can’t get Wanda on board. There were so many reasons for that, no, it’s almost embarrassing.”
“You should have asked me.”
“To go to the bank? You were gone, off beating the shit out of Gooch if you remember.”
“You should ask me for everything. I’ll get it for you.”
“Listen, you’re just as bad as Brogan, trying to fix everything,” I scolded him, but then, of course, I was trying to fix Friendly Forest. I understood the need to make things over, to try to make them better.
“You’re very prickly for a woman who was just good and properly fucked,” Kase said and I felt him squeeze my ass cheek. Despite my annoyance at him, he made me giggle. There he was, the Kase I knew, the one who could make a bad situation a little sunnier. The Great Wolf with the great sense of humor. I relaxed a little.
“If you do say so yourself,” I shot back, but I was laughing now. I needed that as much as I needed the cry.
“I do.”
“What did you want the loan for again?”
“You really want that story again? I told you some of it.”
“What I know is you’re not supposed to sleep, for long, and the story, if I recall, takes a while to tell. So, lay it on me, in detail, all of your plans. I want paint colors. Field trip ideas. Whatever.”
I squeezed him this time; he was teasing me.
“And ya know what might be smart? If you and I get dressed. I mean, we skirted detection with that phone call. Let’s not push our luck.”
I didn’t want to get dressed, but I was also aware that if anyone walked in, we were so busted.
Kase moved slowly at first, but he agreed. We were courting disaster, lying naked together.
Kase let me have the shower first. I started rinsing off and felt a hand slide across my back.
“I mean, if we both have to shower, we ought to save water.”
“Smart.”
Kase stepped into the warm water with me. We were walking on a very thin line. The last thing in the world I wanted was to hurt Brogan.
Make that the second to last thing. The last thing in the world I wanted was to stop being with Kase.
Fifteen
Kase
I played it as cool as I could with Emlyn. I didn’t tell her about the rage that had propelled me to kick the shit out of Gooch. It had me going rogue and defying what the club ordered.
The fuck of it was, I’d do it again.
I wasn’t going to deny kicking Gooch’s ass if it came down to it.
Thorn found me as I was leaving Em’s room. I don’t know if he suspected what was happening. For sure, Rose had figured it out. But that’s a woman thing. I bet on the fact that all my brothers were occupied with this Bane shit. I was too, really, but now it was tied up in my need to make sure someone paid for touching Em.
“Meeting, now. Titus too.”
“Full club?”
“No, we need to puzzle some stuff out, and we need to be nimble.”
Thorn was intense, as usual. He’d spent months with a small crew at his side, making sure the Great Wolves had allies and new members. But sometimes a core group was the smart thing. Club policy by committee was bad club policy.
“Check.”
I caught up with Titus and we walked toward Ridge’s meeting room.
“Listen,” I grabbed his arm, “That shit was my idea, not yours.”
“I fully endorsed it by kicking ass too.”
“Still, if they know...well, I ain’t gonna deny it.”
“I’m not letting a brother go out alone, period. And I’m not letting you go out on a limb in front of the Prez either.” Titus turned away from me and walked into the meeting room.
Ridge and Thorn were already there. We all sat at the table. Brogan filed in last, back, just in time, for whatever this was.
“Well, I didn’t have to fucking call in Sherlock Holmes on this little mystery,” Ridge said and looked over to me.
“What mystery now?” Thorn asked, rather innocently, actually. Ridge looked at Brogan and before he said it, I realized what he thought.
“Brogan, I know your sister was hurt. I know they were sending a message to us with that bullshit. And I’m sorry. But you went against my orders, and kicked the shit out of Gooch and Danny Doyle? I wanted to decide how to respond. You know I was against escalating this until we were ready.”
Brogan looked surprised, as he should.
“What? I spent last night getting the word out about lockdown and reaching out to the other clubs. When was I going to have time to kick Gooch’s ass, as much as I fucking wanted to? Do we know it was Gooch, for sure, know? What did my sister say?” Brogan was firing off a million questions.
“Last night, for fuck’s sake. It’s the latest proof things are out of control, that’s how it’s playing. Two innocent thugs beat up at the hospital.”
“Did Gooch survive?” Brogan asked.
“Yes.”
“Too bad, but like I said, it wasn’t me. I’d have fucking killed him. I did as you asked and stayed the fuck away.”
It was easy to see that Brogan wanted to rip Gooch apart, now that he had his name. But I’d done that for him. And I was glad.
“If you lie to me, we don’t have—” Ridge was accusing Brogan of something I had done. I hadn’t really gone that far do
wn the logic chain when I opened the can of whoop-ass.
“Stop, it was me,” I said, and everyone’s heads turned my way.
“What?” Ridge said, looking livid. I squared my shoulders. This is the price I was willing to pay to deliver the message to Gooch and to Bane.
“I rode out, found Gooch, kicked the shit out of him and Doyle. And I would have killed him too,” I said, and there wasn’t a trace of sorry in the statement.
“What stopped you?” Brogan asked me.
“I did. I went with him as a backup,” Titus spoke up. Man, I didn’t want him or Brogan to take heat for this.
“This is on me, though, one-hundred percent.”
“I fucking said not to do this, that we’d handle it as a club!”
“I know.”
“And you did it anyway. You know, I was going to promote you to the officer’s table. That looks like a fucking stupid idea since you don’t know what it means to follow club orders.”
“I had to.”
“It was my sister, what the fuck? If I could control myself, you should be able to handle that order.” Brogan was pissed too. They all were. I had fucked up. I felt bad for disappointing them but had zero regrets for delivering the pain to Gooch.
“You told me to protect her. And I failed as bad as a person could fail. I had to at least punish Gooch and send a message to anyone who wants to come after her.”
Thorn did look like he knew something then. Maybe I’d been too honest. Was I giving away that I was more to Emlyn than just protector?
“She’s my kid sister. I am the one who should have delivered that message.”
Brogan was looking at me with daggers in his eyes. He thought I’d robbed him of vengeance. Ridge thought I was unreliable. And Thorn likely suspected that I had more motive than I was saying.
I had created a nice little mess for myself. And probably for the club.
“Let me make something clear. Kase. You go rogue again, even if you have a reason, you’re out on your ass,” Ridge said to me and I nodded. It was fair. There was no club if we all did what we wanted when we wanted. I’d take the warning and was grateful I hadn’t gotten kicked out right then.
“And Titus, so why the fuck didn’t you stop him?” Ridge turned his focus to my accomplice.
“Kase wasn’t going to be stopped. And I wasn’t going to let a brother go out there solo,” Titus answered calmly.
Ridge thought for a second and looked from Titus to me. I watched him decide something.
“Titus, I’m promoting you from member to officer. You’re the new secretary of the Great Wolves Chicago. I want the rank and file to know that backing up a brother like you did is the Great Wolf way. And going behind our backs to handle vendetta isn’t.” Ridge looked at me when he said it. He reached in his pocket and threw a secretary patch to Titus.
It stung. Titus wasn’t an original member like I was. He’d come over from the Indiana Vipers. But Titus had proven he had the stones, the loyalty and the understanding of the way the club should be run. I’d figured I’d catch shit for doing what I did. And here it was.
“Thanks, Ridge, honored,” Titus said and looked all of us in the eye. Brogan happened to be glaring at me.
“Fine, now, with that shit settled. Here’s what I want to do. We’re going to help the cops squeeze Bane. We know they’re packing oxy. Now we just need them to be moving it. We’re going to set up a meeting, give them some buyers. And the cops are going to be there to bust it up. Thorn knows what’s what, he’ll give you details. Well, all but you, Kase. I can’t fucking trust you right now. You’re here at HQ. You want to be a guard dog, that’s your assignment.”
It hit me right in the gut. I wasn’t going to be able to help my brothers out there against Bane.
Ridge stood up.
“Meeting adjourned.”
Ridge walked out and didn’t look at me again. I really was one fuck up away from being turfed.
“Titus, come with me,” Thorn said, and Titus gave me an apologetic look. He didn’t need to be sorry to me. I was sorry I’d let him come at all.
I walked out of the meeting room and Brogan grabbed my shoulder. He’d reserved some extra anger for the two of us.
“Is there something between you and my sister?”
“What?”
“I mean, you’re fucking nearly kicked out of the M.C. over it. That’s the only reason I can think of that you would go and make a fucking stupid move like that? You could have been killed out there, what if Titus wouldn’t have backed you up?”
The first part of the question, the sister part, was part of a stream of consciousness accusation list Brogan was throwing at me. He didn’t really expect me to answer that question or the half a dozen more that were all versions of, are you an idiot?
“I failed you. That was in my mind when I did it.” I lied with the truth.
“You were this close to officer. You deserve that title; the club needs you. And now you’re practically out.”
“I know.”
“No one touches Emlyn, no one. I had a plan, goddamnit.”
I had robbed him of the chance to exact his revenge. My own rage at Gooch blotted out everything else.
I let him vent at me. Fuck, I’d let him kick my ass if he wanted to.
But he calmed down. Brogan and I were brothers; we went back further than the club. If he knew, really knew, the reason I fucked up Gooch, he wouldn’t have calmed down.
I was putting my relationship with Brogan on the line because of what I felt for Emlyn.
We needed to be more careful. I needed to be more careful.
I wasn’t going to end it or stop seeing Emlyn. I couldn’t.
But Brogan couldn’t know about it.
He would lose his shit, even more than he was right now. That was even more clear.
“I’ve got shit to do. For the club. Try not to get kicked out while I do it.” Brogan pushed me a little. He looked at me. There was a little doubt, a little confusion, where there used to be only trust and loyalty.
I was paying the price for lying. That was clear.
As things swirled around inside the M.C., I followed Ridge’s orders and stayed out of the way. I tried not to sulk around, though I suppose I was doing exactly that when Rose found me in the kitchen.
“Your girlfriend is well, I just checked.”
“Jesus Rose, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s Brogan’s sister.”
“Oh, yes, right, you are secreting it.”
“You checked her, though, right? She’s okay, fine?”
“Yes, your not girlfriend is fine.”
“I’m in enough trouble as it is, could you cut it out?”
“Trouble?”
“My brothers are out there, taking care of Bane, and I’m in here. Stuck.”
“I heard it was your job to be with all of us, to be sure it is safe.”
“Yeah, babysitting.”
“You know, when I started caring for the M.C. and patching people up, I thought it was a sentence, a punishment. I thought Ridge and your Brogan hated me.”
“I remember. I saved your ass and you were not very grateful.”
“Yes, well, I did not know then how much you would all mean to me.”
“I’m your favorite, though.”
I thought back to the defiant but scared Rose we’d found. She’d been in a terrible mess. It was easy to forget how it all started with her since she was now a part of our M.C. just as much as I was.
“Yes, do not tell Thorn. I think you need to hear the rest.”
“The rest?”
“I have come to realize that Ridge, Brogan, all of you trust me with your lives. It is not a punishment; it is an honor.”
“You’re saying I need to look at it that way.”
“I am saying it is that way.” Rose patted me on the shoulder and turned to go.
“Rose?” I caught her at the door.
“Yes?”
“Thank you,
I’m glad I saved your ass.”
“Aack.” She made some Russian sound that I had no idea what it meant.
I did need an attitude adjustment. Rose was right. I’d done what I had to do with Turk and Ridge had made it clear he was pissed. Very pissed.
And he also left everyone this club loved, in my hands. It was time to take that responsibility seriously.
I wanted to run up to Em’s room, I wanted to see her with my eyes. I wanted to celebrate a little that she was okay and had a clean bill of health.
But Brogan’s words came back to me. And Rose’s. The club was depending on me. And I was not going to let them down.
I was going to be damn sure that everyone here was safe. I was going to be sure that when they left, they had guards.
Fuck Bane. They wouldn’t be touching a hair on any of the heads of the people we loved.
And I knew that meant the whole neighborhood.
I had to be sure that Ridge and crew could operate without distraction or fear that anyone here was in danger.
Operating in my self-interest or on my own impulses was over.
I had work to do for the club and everyone in it.
So, I dug in and made sure the lockdown was solid. I made sure each door was secure. I made sure to do my damn job.
It took me a while, but I had headcounts, I knew every person who’d been brought in for safety. I knew where they were bunking, and I made sure that, if they had to go somewhere, they were going under Great Wolf supervision.
There was some grumbling; not everyone liked being locked down. But we couldn’t have a repeat of what happened to Em.
“I have to get to my shift, there is no way.” Slater, one of the newer members, had a girlfriend who worked at the Costco. Karen was not about to miss her shift.
“I get it, we’ll get you there.”
“This is ridiculous.”
Em tapped Karen on the shoulder. “Hey, look, I am with you. I had work to do, and well, I wish I’d have waited a few minutes. They wouldn’t have tried it with Kase as my escort.” Karen looked at the bruises on Em.
“Jesus, what assholes. Your face is perfect. It’s like a double crime to mess that up.”
“Thank you, but truly, be careful,” Em said.
Karen nodded and looked over at me.
