by Jayne Blue
I saw her everywhere. She didn’t see me, but I saw her. Even when she wasn’t there, I saw her.
Emlyn.
I wish she’d never been here, on lockdown at the M.C. because even the places that should have been mine were hers. Well, hers in my memory.
I’d be working on the auto-body shop and—boom!—the smell of her perfume, the way she felt under my hands, her laugh at one of my stupid jokes would invade my brain and the memory would, in turn, make me smile and twist an invisible knife in my chest.
I had done the right thing, dammit. I had done the unselfish thing, but it was eating me up inside.
A few days before the scheduled opening day for the repair shop, I got a surprise visit from Rose.
“You have the bug in the stomach?”
“What?”
“You are not eating, you are skinny, that’s what Thorn tells to me.”
Rose walked up and put a hand on my forehead to check for fever.
I rolled my eyes at her.
“I’m fine, just busy.”
“I think not.”
“What are you talking about? I have this place humming now. We’re going to be making good bank here, thanks to me working like a dog.” I informed Dr. Rose that her diagnostic skills were way off.
“I think your heart is sick and it is oozing down to your belly. And now you don’t eat the foods. You just walk around with the sads.”
“The sads.” Her English was still a disaster, no matter what it said on her diploma.
“It didn’t work out.”
“I think it didn’t work out because of your head.”
“My head?”
“It’s hard, like this cement floor.”
“I broke up with her because this is not a life for a woman.”
“Really, tell that to Frankie, or me.” Rose raised her eyebrow at me.
“You’re Russian, way tougher than the average American girl doll.”
“Ya, dat is truth.” Rose patted my arm and turned to leave.
“Thanks for stopping by Doc,” I said, though I didn’t mean it. She was busting my chops and making me doubt what I’d done. I didn’t need that shit.
“Oh, and just for you to know, I treated Emlyn after she was attacked, as you know. She is tougher than most American girl dolls, and all she wanted was you. She wasn’t asking for her brother. She was asking for you.”
Rose continued on her way, leaving me feeling far more uncertain than I’d been before she’d come.
I looked around the shop. It was almost done; it was looking great. The cash I would earn from this would double the sizable amount I had been building up. And all of it was clean. Who would have ever thought that could happen after my checkered past in grand theft auto?
And then a thought dawned on me.
It was the rightest thing, it was the obvious thing, and it once I came up with it, I knew there was no stopping me from doing it.
I made a trip to Ridge’s office.
I had a lot of shuffling to do.
Twenty
Emlyn
I had decided. I just hoped it everyone would see how it could work.
Brogan had told me to wait outside while the M.C. officers finished their meeting. I couldn’t hear much and was focused on what I wanted to ask. But I did hear a little.
“Fuck.”
That sounded like Thorn’s voice.
“Yeah, it looks like Crank has resurfaced. And he was with the Bratva members.”
That might have been Titus’ voice. I didn’t know him as well. What was Bratva?
Ridge turned the meeting to other items. I wished they would hurry!
“How’s business?”
That was Kase
“Booked solid.” His new auto repair business was up and running. I knew that. I tried not to know it. But I knew it.
I wished he wasn’t going to be there for this next part. It was going to make this even more nerve-wracking, but I would need all the officers to agree. Kase was an officer now. Brogan also said any decision they made would also need approval from the majority of the club.
Kase and I had clearly successfully pulled the wool over Brogan’s eyes because he had no idea that it might make me the slightest bit uncomfortable. Butterflies grew in my stomach as they finished their meeting.
I took a few deep breaths. Kase was behind me. Sure, I love him—ugh, I mean, I loved him, but he dumped me. He didn’t have the same feelings for me, or he wouldn’t have been able to leave me. I was a booty call of epic proportions, but nothing more.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head. I replaced them with why I was here.
I was here because this was home. Stickney Forest needed me, and I needed it just as much. I wanted to find a way for the kids. Mom was here. I knew Brogan would step up. I knew he’d call me if she had good or bad days. But I wanted to be a moment away, not an hour.
I wanted a shot at turning this neighborhood into what I knew it could be.
My vision wasn’t so different than the Great Wolves, so I was going to suck up my embarrassment over falling for Kase, and march in there and make my pitch.
The door opened and it was my big strong brother, Brogan. He was my rock, really, and part of me did understand why Kase never pulled the trigger on telling him.
Brogan knew what I wanted to do, and he supported me. He’d even listened to me practice my pitch.
“Hi Em, come on in!” Ridge, The Prez, the scariest of them all, was the warmest of them all when it came to me, and the families of the Great Wolves. He had a smile for me, though I didn’t see any other smiles, just tough mother effers in leather. Tough, handsome, strong mother effers willing to do anything for Stickney Forest.
I hoped they would do this.
“Hi, so, I need your help. Or, well, I need the M.C.’s help.”
“Did someone hurt you?”
Kase, who I’d been purposely avoided eye contact with, barked the question. It was hostile, scary, and totally out of the left field. Everyone looked at him like he was half insane, me included.
“Uh, no, I’m here to make a business proposition.”
“Oh, uh, sorry, continue.”
Kase settled back down and Brogan shook his head at Kase. Brogan also then seemed to be pondering something else.
I blocked them all out. I had a pitch to give. I had Brogan give them all my sheet with numbers and projections, and then I barreled forward.
“I want to buy the Spitzer Building and open the largest single-site early learning center and daycare in the South Side of Chicago.”
“Great. The kids of the neighborhood need it, badly, and you’re the right person to head up something like that,” Ridge said. That was easy, but of course, he hadn’t heard what I wanted them to do.
“Except for one thing. I need a loan to buy the building, to hire staff, to get insurance. I’d pay it all back over time, but I can’t go to the bank.”
“No?”
“No, they don’t think I’m a good risk. Too young, no collateral and they have no faith in the neighborhood. The Great Wolves do.”
“I don’t understand the numbers here, though. I mean, Kase, you’re not going to hold her up for that amount, are you?” Ridge looked at Kase and Kase looked like he’d been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
“What are you talking about? Kase has nothing to do with this, uh, well, other than I need his vote, all of your votes, to invest in this business idea.”
“No need to convince me, but I think you’re being an ass, Kase if you charge her the number she has on here.”
“I’m sorry, what? It’s going to cost $250,000 at least to buy the building from Wanda, and then at least that to fix up all four floors. That’s before we even hire one new person.”
“Yeah, I get it, but Kase, she doesn’t know?”
“Uh, no, not yet. I just got it finalized.”
I stared at Kase in confusion.
“You think may
be this is a good opportunity? Jesus, the right-hand doesn’t know what the left is doing around here.”
“Yeah, I bought the building from Wanda. I own it.”
“What?” I was in shock; how did he have that kind of money?
“I knew it was a good cause. I was going to uh, let you know, but it just went through.”
“What do you need with that building?” I was getting angry. Had he done this to hurt me or get me out of here or something?
“I knew you needed it if you wanted to keep Friendly Forest open, so Wanda and I made a deal.”
“So, based on your numbers, Great Wolves would only need to come up with the repair investment, and then some help with payroll?”
“Uh, yes, I guess so.” My head was reeling, Kase had bought the building for me.
“I’d say, if Kase is good with this, we form a three-way partnership. We’ll put up the cash for the stuff on your list, Kase has already nailed down the building, and you have put in sweat equity, and will continue to, I suspect. And shit, I don’t care if it’s ever profitable. This is something that will pay dividends into Stickney Forest for decades to come,” Ridge said as he put down the paper I’d given him.
“We’re running a daycare now?” Titus chuckled.
“Ha, yeah, wait until my old Prez hears this one. And really, not running it, just silent partnering. That work? And if you ever want to buy us out, that’s cool too. We’re not the mob.”
“Uh, yes, that works.” I was stunned. I had gotten everything I wanted.
And Kase had done this too, without me asking. I didn’t know what to think about that part. Though, I had just agreed to be partners with him and the M.C.
I sat there, staring at Kase, and realizing that I didn’t know him at all. Or, at least, I didn’t know what he was thinking when he dumped me.
Then he stood up. That’s when things got really crazy.
Twenty-One
Kase
I knew Brogan was staring at me. Em was staring at me. Hell, the whole room thought I had lost my mind.
It was now or never.
“Emlyn, I want to ask you to forgive me.”
She looked from me to Brogan. I didn’t look at Brogan. I figured he was about to kill me anyway, I may as well have the last thing I see be Em, not Brogan’s rage face.
“I, uh, for what?”
“For not having faith in us. For leaving,” I said, and Em stood up and walked around the table.
“How did you afford to buy the building, why?”
“Like I said, the kids need you. And well, I haven’t spent a dime since we’ve been legit. Brogan bought the house, Titus a new bike, Thorn got that house for him and Rose. I, well, it was sitting there until I found something important.”
“But this was my dream, not yours. You shouldn’t spend it on my dream.”
“Your dream is my dream. Whatever you want, I want to get for you.”
At those words, she jumped into my arms, and for the first time in weeks, I could breathe. And yet, my breath was caught in my throat at the same time.
“No need to forgive anything,” she said, and I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could without crushing her.
“What in the actual fuck is going on? Why are you touching my sister?”
Brogan. Shit, yep, here it was, my final moments.
I released Emlyn and she moved to my side, and then she put her hand in mine. Together, we faced the ticking time bomb that was Brogan.
“Brogan, I love Emlyn. I love her. There it is. And I don’t know if she loves me, but that doesn’t matter. I mean, that does matter, but even if she doesn’t, I am still going to give her everything she wants. And I, uh, well I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but there it is. She’s everything to me.”
“What is he talking about?” Brogan was pissed, confused, and he had both of his fists balled up at his sides. Then Emlyn took a step forward.
“You heard him. We are in love. We are together. And we will be whether you like it or not. But we hope you like it. It’s your fault, to be honest.” Em lifted her chin in Brogan’s direction and now it was my turn to be stunned into silence.
“What? My fault? I’m the victim here! Lied too for God knows how long?”
“You told him to hang around me, and well, I’m irresistible. And you’re not the victim, you’ve got a terrible temper and I didn’t want to trip your wire.”
“Jesus H.” Brogan released the grip on his own fingers. Maybe he wouldn’t hit me immediately. Maybe he’d kill me slowly.
“And you spent all your M.C. dough on her thing, without her asking you?”
“Yeah, yeah, I did.”
Em squeezed my hand. Every time she did, it gave me a little more courage.
Brogan continued to process the information and Emlyn leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. It was great, except, Brogan saw it, saw the whole thing.
“I. Uh. When?” Brogan lifted his hand to his head and rubbed his massive paw up and down his forehead.
“You want the details?” Em said and pulled back a little. This was some brother and sister ribbing that might get my face rearranged.
“You both lied. That makes you perfect for each other.” I winced at that one.
Brogan turned and stalked out of the room.
Em and I were there, surrounded still by the rest of the officers. They were somehow less stunned by the developments.
“You’re all looking entertained.”
“Oh, we are. I mean, we all knew, all of us except Brogan,” Thorn said. Of course, Rose probably clued him in.
“And, uh, I risked Ridge kicking my ass when you went rogue after Gooch,” Titus said. He did know I was operating on more than just club shit that night. I was in a blind rage that anyone would hurt my woman.
“And honestly, helping open a daycare? If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is,” Ridge said and stood up from his chair. He came over to Em and me.
“Look, your brother will cool down, and if he doesn’t, we’ll all kick his ass. You’re not only our little sister, but you’re also an Old Lady and a business partner. He’s just a member. It seems like you outrank him now.”
Em laughed and sprung a hug on Ridge. The only other person who ever did that was Frankie. She was brave, this little preschool teacher.
“Thank you, thank all of you for taking a chance on me and this idea.”
“Good enough for Kase, good enough for us,” Thorn said and slowly, they all filed out. Em, and I were alone.
“This is not how I expected this meeting to go,” she said.
I pulled her into my arms and her body leaned into mine. I had been parched and she was the water, the rain, just about every damn thing.
“I am so sorry. I felt like I was hurting you, hurting your brother, hurting the club. I ran away from us. I’ll never do that again.”
“You better not. Next time I’ll chase you down. And you think my brother has a temper? It’s nothing compared to mine.”
I leaned down and tilted her chin up.
“I believe it.”
I kissed her sweet lips. I missed this so much.
She kissed me back, and it was less than sweet. It was full of the heat that I knew if we stayed here, would get us in a lot of trouble.
“Let’s go to my place. Give Brogan some time.”
“Good idea, but let’s go now. I don’t want to wait another minute.”
Twenty-Two
Emlyn
We barely made it back. The things that had changed from me leaving this house, a few hours ago, to now, were life-altering.
Kase and I were in the kitchen and ideas were coming to me a mile a minute.
“I mean, I think with four floors we can absorb a lot of the people who didn’t have a place to go when the Head Start closed. And also expand the kitchen. If I can get one, maybe two hot meals in the kids a day, well, that would be perfect. But that means three meals a day, because of the shifts. Some k
ids are morning noon, some noon evening. I really want to do things in terms of enrichment that Wanda always said was too hard to do. I know if we give the kids a chance to—” Kase stopped me mid-sentence with a kiss.
“Oh, I missed you so much,” I said between a shower of kisses. He pushed my hair to the side and kissed my neck. I sank into the sensations that I had tried to tell myself I didn’t need.
I needed him. And it turned out, he needed me too.
He pulled off my dress—a very professional looking one, for my meeting—and it was on the floor. Kase picked me up and carried me upstairs.
He threw me on the bed and pounced like a panther on top of me.
“Whoa, you really did miss me,” I said and felt his hard body pressing on mine.
“I really did.”
We reunited several times over the course of the night.
And then Kase basically moved in. I had so many plans and he had so many solutions. He took me to work, picked me up after, and we were pretty damn happy.
Except for one thing, or one person, that is.
Brogan stayed away. He ignored Kase at the club, and me all the time. It hurt, but I had to believe it was temporary. I had lived a chunk of time without my brother around; I didn’t want to live my life without him. But I also was not going to stop living my life because of him.
Kase and I worked on our new life, our new businesses, and I just kept hoping that Brogan would see the light.
I dove into making the daycare the place of my dreams. That’s what I was doing now: thinking about layouts at the daycare. I’d hired my friend Sylvie and we were brainstorming when the roar of a Harley cut through the building. I looked out the window.
Brogan.
And on the back, oh my gosh, it was Mom!
“Sylvie, can you finish here? I have a visitor.”
I ran to the bike and hugged >om, who was smiling from ear to ear.
“What in the world, Mom? You never would get on this bike before.”
“Well, dementia had its upside, I forgot to be terrified!”
I laughed and Brogan did too.
