by J. Kearston
My nostrils flare, enjoying it more than I should, but I can already imagine what hell is going to be waiting for me when I get back to work. “You get off on this sort of thing, don’t you?” I growl. “Making people suffer for your amusement?”
She winks, not denying it. “Dance puppets, dance.” She stretches her arms above her head. “So, what are we doing here?”
My eyes cut to Atlas, assuming he would have filled her in by now. By his guilty look, it’s clear he saved that conversation for me, but I can’t say that I blame him. Cambria’s been through an emotional roller coaster this last week, so I can’t fault the man for not wanting to share just yet.
I put my hand on her lower back and guide her over to the wrought iron fence that borders the dingy river. It’s not a beautiful view by any means, surrounded by industrial buildings and pollution, but it’s easier to talk about the things that haunt you when you don’t have to look at anyone. Like her, there will always be a part of me that wants to hide from the pain, and this is a small comfort I can offer us both.
“Remember my brother, Maddox?” I don’t wait for her to respond, leaning my arms on the metal and watching the way the water cuts around a stray branch. “He was always getting into trouble as a kid. It started small, and never escalated beyond petty theft, but one day he stole from the wrong person. A twenty dollar bill.” I shut my eyes briefly, extinguishing the rage before it can build. “He was killed over a twenty dollar bill that he pickpocketed from a loan shark.”
“My dad,” Atlas admits, leaning next to me.
I sigh, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and thinking, not for the first time, that Atlas and I should trade namesakes. “Dorian and I eventually tracked him down. When it became clear that he wasn’t walking away from the situation, the soulless bastard tried to offer a trade.”
Cambria’s voice is soft when she asks, “He’d give you money if you let him live?”
I shake my head, but it’s Dorian that answers. “He offered up Atlas to take the punishment instead. A son for a brother, so he thought it was fair,” he scoffs vehemently.
Her voice is harder than before. “But you didn’t take it.”
“No, I didn’t. I killed him and left Atlas to deal with the fallout, to pick up the pieces of a broken legacy. I didn’t see him again for several years.”
I can feel her surprise, and she turns to lean her back against the rail, staring at the side of my face. She waits patiently for me to continue, not probing, just giving me time to speak when I’m ready. I take the few moments to collect myself as Dorian carries on.
“He came to me first,” Dorian reminisces with a wistful smile, “and I beat the ever loving shit out of him. But he came back to the shop the next day, and the one after that. After the third time, I was actually willing to listen. He never raised a hand to defend himself, just took every punch like it was his due, even though he never did a single thing beyond being born to that asshole.”
Atlas sounds far away, just as lost in the memories as the rest of us. “And after Dorian saw I was serious, he took me to Luce’s office. I never wanted to be a part of that shit in the first place, but after my father died, I felt more trapped than ever. When everyone who owed him money thought they got out of the debts free and clear, the men working for my father turned on me to make sure they got their cuts of the loans they were promised. It was a hot mess.
“So after a few years of shit just getting worse and worse, I sought out the only hope I had left; Lucien. He showed up at my doorstep radiating the icy promise of death, a soulless monster that had such firm control over his life, it made a lasting fuckin’ impression. I wanted to hand the reins of my chaotic life over to him to tame, and offer my soul as payment to the man without one.”
Cambria trails her fingers down my arm slowly, and I finally face her, unsure of what I’m hoping to find when I do. Do I want her to flinch away in fear, to know she fully grasps the sort of man she decided to save? Do I want her to look at me with fierce determination, to try and offer me forgiveness that I not only don’t seek, but don’t want?
Or do I want her to admit she doesn’t want to get involved with us before things start, to save me that pain later on when she comes to realize I can’t love her the way she deserves?
Her silver eyes swirl like liquid mercury as she meets my gaze without flinching. She doesn’t shrink away in fear or look at me curiously, like she’s trying to figure me out. Cambria just stares at me, knowing there aren’t any broken shards that need pieced back together. There’s nothing to fix, because everything I once was, burned away until not a single piece remained, leaving behind an empty husk.
She sees me, and that’s enough.
“And Dorian convinced you to take it.” She doesn’t phrase it like a question, starting to understand what makes me tick.
I dip my head in agreement. “He did. So I handled the debts and demolished the building, refusing to let any part of that place rise from the debris to haunt us again.”
She steps away from the railing, starting a trail of her hand from my arm to around my back, sizing me up and circling me, as if I were her prey instead of someone that could eat her alive. She ends on my other side, leaning back against Atlas as she regards me.
“So why did you come here today if it isn’t haunting you?” she challenges.
I practically purr, the way she tries to strip me apart with nothing more than her words sending a thrill through me. “Because I have other things to focus on now.”
We leave it at that, nothing more needing to be said. Atlas and Dorian climb in the other car, but Cambria I keep with me as we start making our way home. There’s no way I’ll be getting any more work done today, a fact that should grate at me, but doesn’t. It just doesn’t seem as important as it used to.
Chapter 14
Cambria
“Good fuckin’ riddance,” Ted sneers, snatching the keys out of my hand and tearing up both of our copies of the rental agreement.
I flip him off with one hand while clutching my laundry basket to my hip. “A pleasure as always. I’d say I’ll see you around, but I sincerely hope not.”
He grimaces, already stomping down the stairs and out the door to the building. The guys have the rest of my stuff since this is the last load to get over to the new house. We have to walk, so it’s been slow going, especially with the mattress, but thankfully I don’t own much. One afternoon and we are wrapping it up already.
The new house borders one of the paths to the forest. We got a great deal, because some of the animals nearby have been getting restless as of late and are starting to push the boundaries. It’s making several of the fae in the area uneasy and wanting to move more towards the center of town, where it’s safer.
As in, a tiger mauled the shit out of the fae that lived here so we got it dirt cheap and bought it straight out; we just had to finish scrubbing the blood off the exterior. It was really fresh on the market.
“We can worry about more furniture tomorrow,” I huff, tossing the last of my shit in the corner of my room.
Because yes, in the two bedroom house, they made a huge production of making sure I had my own space after losing my apartment. Not going to lie, if I wasn’t already swooning over them, that would have been the kicker.
Orgasms are great and all, but having people that actually give a damn about you is just slightly better. That, or I just haven’t been screwing the right people. I’m willing to test the theory out before putting in the effort embroidering towels.
Atlas rolls his shoulders. “I vote we buy a wagon. Or steal a shopping cart.”
Dorian tosses him a beer from the fridge and takes one for himself. “Or we just get a bigger bed instead of dragging three more mattresses back here.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and I laugh, washing my hands and reveling in the fact I have an actual kitchen to cook in. I mean, I’m not going to, but I could if I wanted.
There’s a knock at the d
oor and everyone freezes. “At least the tiger’s polite before he barges in here to eat our faces,” I jest, laughing awkwardly as I move to the front door. Because let’s be real, I don’t get a lot of neighbors dropping off brownies to welcome me to the neighborhood.
My stomach drops as Rickon appears on the doorstep, like I assumed it would be. Who the hell else would willingly interact with the soul sucking harpy? But this time is different, because it will be the first time I’ve seen him since the incident on the street and I’m more than a little terrified.
“Little Lark. Look at you, moving up in the world,” he sneers.
“Dickoff,” I greet, hiding my nerves behind a mask of sarcasm and indifference. I catch myself and tuck my hands in my pockets casually, not wanting him to see I was rubbing the scars on the back of my hand like a nervous tick.
“We need to talk,” he demands, looking more serious than usual, his normal psychopathic cruelty hidden behind the guise of a real person for once.
A heavy hand lands on my shoulder that I know instinctively is Lucien. I breathe a bit easier, knowing that they can’t do anything but exacerbate the problem, yet leaning on the comfort still. I’ve never had anyone that even attempted to have my back, and whether or not I’ll get beaten because of their ‘help’, I still appreciate the sentiment.
“May we help you?” Luce asks coolly, putting my casual indifference to shame. I may fake it with the best of them, but Lucien lives and breathes it.
“Mind your place, human,” Rickon warns.
Lucien’s fingers tighten imperceptibly on my shoulder, the only sign of his rage. I’m grateful that I was playing poker with Atlas instead that day, because I would have literally lost the shirt off my back to Luce and his poker face.
“What do you want, Rickon?” I ask, more frustrated and tired of everything than I ever have been before.
Maybe it’s just a fool’s dream, but he doesn’t seem as imposing as he used to. After being under the intense scrutiny of the three men behind me, it doesn’t matter that they don’t have any special abilities. They are far from powerless; they have quickly consumed my entire world, chewed it up, and spit it back out.
His jaw is tight as he holds out an envelope, and my vision blackens around the edges. If it wasn’t for Luce’s grasp on my shoulder, I would have sunk to my knees. The royal seal pressed into the wax, glaring at me, mocking me and any semblance of freedom I could ever feel.
“It was an accident,” I breathe on a whisper, dread wrapping around me like a weighted blanket.
“I didn’t say anything,” he replies, not a single ounce of emotion in his tone. “I was told to deliver it, only to find the apartment abandoned.” His eyes are hard. “For a minute there, I thought you’d decided to try to make a run for it.”
With a shaky hand, I tear open the letter, pulling out a thick piece of cardstock. The script is slanted, a deep sapphire ink scrawled across it by a familiar hand.
“What is it?” Dorian asks, leaning over my shoulder and actively ignoring the disdain radiating off of Rickon.
I swallow, looking up and horrified to see pity gazing back at me from the guard’s eyes. “Mandatory family dinner.”
***
“Your mother is the motherfuckin’ queen and you didn’t think that bore mentioning!?” Atlas shouts.
Rickon left without any more incidents and I’m still not sure what to make of his visit. Atlas is pacing like a caged animal while Dorian’s fingers are tapping a mile a minute against his arm as he leans against the wall. Lucien is just laser focused on my face, and I don’t know what he can see in my expression, because the feeble armor I’d managed to build is crumbling like sand.
“It’s not like I get any special standing over the title,” I defend.
I glare down at the open envelope on the counter, the flying lark crest mocking me with the illusion of freedom just like it did every day growing up in that hellhole.
“When is it?” Lucien asks calmly.
I run a hand through my hair, huffing, and snatch the invitation up to reread it for the hundredth time. “Tomorrow. Formal wear required.” I grimace at the crisp bills that were tucked inside, since heaven forbid their disappointing offspring sully their halls in anything less than perfection.
“And we’re expected to come too?” Dorian reiterates and I nod, already dreading how absolutely horrendous this is going to be.
They think Rickon is bad, but that’s only because I’ve kept them as sequestered from fae life as I possibly can. Not that that’s been too difficult up to this point because of obvious reasons, but literally my only job is to take care of my humans. I can’t do that if they’re the target of another fae’s cruel intentions or being eaten by the beasts in the forest.
“Yep.” I cringe, passing over the invitation that clearly states the ‘newly acquisitioned Lark property’ attend for approval.
Dorian’s eyes harden, and I hate that all of his initial excitement and enthusiasm has waned the longer he’s been here. I’m no better than my family, killing that little bit of hope and magic inside of him.
“We’ll go shopping in the morning then,” Dorian offers before heading to the bathroom to shower.
Sliding down the wall in the living room until I’m sitting, I curl my knees against me and wrap my arms around them. I shut my eyes tightly, fighting off the wave of tears that threaten to rear their ugly heads.
Atlas sits down beside me and gently tugs on my elbow. I lean into his side without a fight or opening my eyes, taking several deep breaths. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, giving me a minute to pull myself together.
“It’s going to be alright, gorgeous. You’ll have us there with you this time,” he consoles, rubbing his hand over my shoulder.
I take a steadying breath and risk opening my eyes. “It’s not going to matter. Not there.”
Lucien steps in front of me and extends a hand, his face stoic. “I think there’s something you need to remember, Cambria.” I cautiously take his hand as he pulls me to my feet. “They’re scared of you.”
My immediate protests die as he cuts me off. “Don’t try to deny it, because you know it’s true. You may not want to use the ability, and I understand why. I’m not making light of that fact. After everything you’ve been through because of it, I understand the toll it takes on you to do so. But Cambria, really think for a moment.”
He has one hand on my hip and the other palms my cheek, his thumb gently tracing back and forth over my jawline. I lean into his touch, the steadiness and assurance calming my frayed nerves and emotions.
“If anyone laid a hand on you, you don’t have to take it. You don’t need to fear them or take their abuse anymore. You could take away all of their power so that they couldn’t hurt you again. They know that too, and it’s why they’ve spent your entire life beating you down, so they could feel stronger than you are. But it’s just. Not. True.”
I look up into his amber eyes, just as hard as always, but no longer half as cold. He looks at me earnestly, willing me to see things from his perspective.
What’s it say about me that this human believes in me more than I ever have?
I hesitantly nod, releasing a pent up breath. “I’m not going to let them hurt you guys.”
He pulls me flush against his body so that I can feel every hard ridge and outline. His fingers tangle in my hair as he cranes my head back farther, until I can’t see anything except for him. He controls my every movement, my entire world. Nothing happens without him allowing it to and I’m drawn to the air he gives off with near desperation. I feel the same pull Atlas did, wanting to give the reins of my chaotic life over to someone who will make sense of it, to make everything alright.
“No, you’re not going to let them hurt you. Let me hear you say it,” he prompts, tightening his grip while my breath comes faster, as I arch into him.
“I’m not going to let anyone touch me again unless I want it.”
I rise
up on my toes and kiss him before I can second guess myself, desperate for a taste of the power he radiates. It doesn’t matter that he’s human, that he doesn’t have any magical abilities. Lucien’s confidence is a power in its own right and I want nothing more than to let it soak into my bones, to borrow even a fraction of it for a short time.
He freezes for a moment before something inside of him snaps and he kisses me back in earnest. I’m vaguely aware of Atlas leaving the room, but Lucien quickly draws my focus back to him. Nipping at my lip hard enough to sting, I hiss, and he tears his lips from mine just to kiss along my jawline.
“What are you doing to me, little fae?” he murmurs along my skin and I shiver.
At his words though, I reluctantly pull back. “Nothing, I promise. I won’t use my abilities on you three intentionally, especially not to trick you into something you don’t want.”
He looks at me with understanding, dipping his head to kiss me once more, softer this time. “I believe you. I meant this.” He slides my palm over his heart so I can feel how heavily it’s beating. “I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve managed to feel anything more than disdain.”
I stifle an ill-timed snicker. “That sounded pretty cheesy, Luce. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
He growls and gently bites the side of my neck. I clench around nothing, eyes fluttering shut and leaning into him with the sudden wave of arousal.
“You just love to push me, don’t you?” he challenges, one hand sliding beneath the hem of my shirt and up my side.
I start unbuckling his belt slowly. “What can I say? I’m a fae that loves a hard time, remember? Giving it, receiving it,” I trail off, slowly dragging his zipper down to see if he’s going to stop me.
He doesn’t, but he does tilt my face up to look at him and see the sincerity there. “You’re sure? If we cross this line, there is no going back for me, Cambria.”
His words send another sharp ache between my thighs, wanting what he’s promising. I’ve spent my entire life hated, despised. To have someone look down at me possessively, wanting me despite of who I am and promising to never let me go?
