by Lucy Leroux
Gibson set up a pallet in the kitchen for himself so she and the earl could each take one of the two remaining bedrooms. She retired early, washing and collapsing in bed before the moon was high in the sky. But she couldn’t sleep. She lay staring at the sliver of the night sky visible through the window.
Her door opened a short while later. Gideon could have at least knocked.
“Amelia?” He was holding a taper.
“I’m sleeping,” she said tonelessly, not bothering to turn and look at him.
He sighed and closed the door. But he was on the wrong side.
Amelia should have been outraged, but she was too tired. Her heavy limbs refused to rise from the bed to slap him.
Gideon set the candle on the small table and sat down next to her.
“We need to talk.”
“What would be the point?”
“The point is I know the truth about Worthing and Martin. The viscount told me everything.”
It should have alarmed her that she had failed to keep Martin’s deepest secret, but it was difficult to summon the energy. “Did he tell you why Martin kept the fire a secret?” she asked instead.
“Yes, but first I need to apologize to you. I’ve been a fool. I allowed myself to be influenced by gossip, rather than my own knowledge of you. I should have believed in you. You’re still the principled and compassionate girl I’ve always known.”
“I agree on one point—you are a fool,” she said lightly.
His words were fine, but it was still a terrible apology.
He probably has few occasions to apologize to anyone. She really should savor the experience.
Gideon grunted. “You scared the hell out of me today. What possessed you to go inside? Let alone climb those stairs. That could have been you instead of Crispin. He was trying to follow after us when he fell.”
He took her hand and lowered his voice. “Amelia, what were you doing in that room with the house falling down around you? If…if something had happened to you, I would never have forgiven myself. I know I hurt you—”
“I was not going to jump,” Amelia snapped. “I’m not about to do myself in because your lovemaking was not up to snuff,” she added with a quirk of her lips, unable to resist.
“It’s not funny! You took ten years off my life. Martin will never forgive me for what I’ve done. I will never forgive myself.”
His apology was no longer amusing. I can’t blame him for what happened—as much as I want to.
“Gideon…you did nothing wrong. Naturally, you assumed I was a woman of experience. And I had a few delusions about the act itself. There, now I have absolved you. Please leave so I may go to sleep.”
“No.” He gripped her hand tighter. “I need to explain about what happened between us. You see…er…when a man and a woman—”
Amelia shook his hand off. “Don’t you dare condescend to me! I am not a child, nor am I an imbecile.”
He scowled at her. “I’m aware of that. But you were ign—uninformed. The first time is always difficult for a virgin, but it improves. Under the right circumstances, it can be very pleasurable for the female.”
Amelia threw herself back on the bed. “I cannot believe we are having this conversation.”
“Love, it’s long overdue.” His eyes bored down at her. “Why did you say we weren’t making love? What were you expecting? Did you think kissing was the extent of it?”
“I am not so completely ignorant, my lord! I have been kissed—twice. A Frenchman took a liberty at a ball once, but Martin thrashed him soundly. As for intimate relations, I have seen it firsthand…but I should have realized it would be different between a man and a woman.”
Gideon’s lips parted, and he stared at her for a long moment. “You saw Martin and Worthing together?”
She sighed and nodded. “Accidentally. I returned unexpectedly to our rooms one day, and I stumbled upon them.”
Gideon looked rather red in the candlelight. He coughed. “What were they doing?”
Amelia threw up her hands. “They were making love!”
“Sweetling, there are many ways to make love.”
She let the endearment pass, acknowledging the truth with a nod. “Yes, well…they were…” Amelia trailed off, embarrassed, but Gideon nodded at her encouragingly. “They were using their mouths, or rather, Crispin was using his mouth on Martin…you know…down there.”
Amelia gestured with her hand at the junction of her legs. Her face was flaming wildly, but she kept her tone nonchalant. “Apparently, that is not how it’s done when one of the party is female,” she added with a sniff.
Gideon opened and closed his mouth a few times as if struggling to find the right words.
“What you saw is one of the variations of lovemaking, even between a man and women. But it’s not the only way. What happened between us is another. Some would say it’s the more conventional technique,” he explained a little haltingly.
Amelia’s mouth pursed. “I suppose it makes sense…anatomically.”
The earl released a strangled bark of laughter before abruptly cutting it short. “Agreed. Your body was designed to accommodate mine in exactly that fashion. Do you understand why?”
She frowned at him. Gideon looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“What we did—it is how I would plant my seed in your womb.”
Amelia stared at him, dumbfounded. Then her eyes widened in horror.
“It’s all right, love!” he said reassuringly. “It’s not likely I got you with child, not yet. Things did not proceed to completion if you get my meaning. But…if you conceived, that would be perfectly fine.”
Fine? Her heart was pounding in her chest. “How can you say that? It would be a disaster.”
Gideon frowned. “Amelia, surely you realize we have to marry now regardless of whether you fall pregnant?”
“What? Why?”
He stared at her as if she’d grown horns. “A gentleman does not dally with an innocent without doing the honorable thing.”
Amelia rolled her eyes. “Well, in that case, I have excellent news. In the eyes of the ton, I am far from innocent. A dalliance between us, however fleeting, is quite in keeping with my reputation.”
His expression darkened. “I don’t give a bloody damn about what the ton thinks.” She raised a brow, and he had the grace to cringe. “Not anymore, anyway. My sole purpose in this whole charade was to discover the truth behind my cousin’s death. I did not plan what happened between us, but I am not about to walk away because society would excuse me. I will not shirk my duty just because everyone is acting the fool.”
His duty. “How romantic, truly,” she said drily.
Gideon narrowed his eyes and leaned in close. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought he was trying to intimidate her. “Amelia, you and I will be married. Neither of us has a choice anymore. I know that’s not the romantic proposal a girl dreams of, but consider this—even when I thought you had a hand in Martin’s death, I couldn’t keep away from you.”
“Only because you were determined to find me guilty!”
His jaw firmed. “No, it was because I wanted you. I still want you. And you want me. Now make room on that bed.”
Stunned, her mouth dropped open. “Gideon!”
He held up his hands. “I’m not going to ravish you. Not tonight in any case. But if the last few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that I cannot let you out of my sight. So, from now on, I won’t.”
With quick efficient movements, he removed his waistcoat and cravat. One boot dropped on the floor. It was swiftly followed by the other. He kept everything else on and pulled up the bedclothes just enough to slide in next to her.
Amelia had no choice but to move to the side to give him room. He was a big man. She tried to make herself as small as possible, scooting to the side until she was almost hanging off the edge of the mattress.
Gideon reached out and hauled her close. He sighed, his body r
elaxing completely. She considered slapping his face…but she didn’t want to.
It would just be for tonight. Her bone-deep weariness had dissipated during their conversation, but it was back now. And the heat from the earl’s body was so inviting. With a little exhalation, she lay her head on his shoulder and cuddled against him.
There would be ample opportunity to rail at Gideon tomorrow. But first…
“Sir Clarence burned down my home, didn’t he?”
Gideon sucked in a breath and began to rub his hand up and down her back. “I believe he did. It must have been retaliation for when you and Martin left England.”
Tears pricked at her eyes. “Why couldn’t Sir Clarence have been content with my dowry? I made sure he had the entire sum before we left.”
She waited, but Gideon made no response. That was just as well; she already knew the answer was greed.
“I suppose Martin thought he had plenty of time to rebuild, and that’s why he didn’t tell me,” she continued, trying not to blame her husband. He’d only been trying to protect her. “However, even rebuilt, the house will never be the same. It won’t be the home I shared with my parents.”
Gideon was quiet for so long she thought he had fallen asleep, but then he said something.
He couldn’t see her frown in the dark. His murmur had been close to unintelligible, but it sounded like. “My home is wherever you are.”
Exhausted, she gave up on further conversation and fell asleep.
Chapter 17
Gideon opened his eyes to full darkness. Shifting, he felt the warm weight of Amelia nestled against him, sleeping soundly. She hadn’t moved in all that time or he would have woken earlier. He was a light sleeper.
He would have gone back to sleep, but a stray thought prodded him to full consciousness. Amelia had no trouble sleeping with him because she was accustomed to having someone else in her bed.
Martin, of course.
A flare of jealousy caught him off guard. He told himself he was being an ass—again.
The pair might not have been lovers but with all the traveling they had done, it was only natural they shared a bed. Indeed, they wouldn’t have had a choice. Martin couldn’t have left Amelia unprotected in all those inns and foreign homes they visited during their travels.
How odd it must have been for the two of them to be forced into a charade where they had to pretend all the time.
Rather like spies. He snorted at the irony.
Amelia shifted and raised her head. “What is it?” Her voice was confused and husky with sleep.
He winced. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. It’s still a few hours till dawn. Go back to sleep,” he whispered.
She nodded and settled back into the pillows but didn’t close her eyes. He couldn’t see their blue shade in the moonlight, but he knew they were studying him.
When she continued to watch him, Gideon couldn’t resist reaching out to trace the smooth line of her cheek, following the path down her neck with his fingertips.
Amelia closed her eyes and shivered. Hoping it was excitement that caused her reaction, he leaned over her until his lips were a hairsbreadth from hers. Given her ample time to pull away, he closed the distance.
It was meant to be a brief caress, a test of sorts, to see if she would respond to him. But his restraint burned away the second he realized she wasn’t going to push him away. He teased her lips with his tongue until they parted and let him inside. Her taste was addictive and exotic, more intoxicating than any wine.
Gideon pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. She shivered again and put her arms around his neck. His skin tingled, and a groan escaped as her soft warmth enveloped him.
Amelia responded to his caresses with an untutored and honest passion. Gideon spared a thought to thank the stars. He hadn’t destroyed her sweet desire with his impatient blundering during their first disastrous experience together. But he needed to proceed cautiously, to open her mind and body to the pleasure of physical intimacy.
He shifted, pressing his heavily aroused lower half against her. Amelia’s eyes flew open, and she broke off the kiss to look up at him with anxious eyes. He bent to kiss the silken skin next to her ear.
“I promised not to ravish you. I intend to keep my word, but it only seems fair that I fulfill some of your expectations about lovemaking…”
Amelia gasped as Gideon moved down her body, lifting the blankets away. He arranged her legs on either side of him and smiled at her, a flirtatious grin that stirred her blood.
Her body heated, a telltale slippery warmth concentrated between her legs.
“Gideon, I don’t think—”
“I strongly advise against that. Stop thinking,” he interrupted, pushing the fine lawn cotton of her nightgown up above her knees before pausing. “Unless the issue is one of trust. Do you trust me, Amelia?”
“Of course I trust you,” she said immediately, trying to find the words to explain why he should stop. It was difficult to find any, impossible in fact.
He waited a beat longer. “Good.”
Amelia yelped when he pulled her lower, removing her drawers with startling efficiency. The chilly air hit her heated core, but she didn’t have time to feel uncomfortable. Her body was in flames the second Gideon’s mouth touched her.
He pressed a kiss to her heated flesh and she whimpered, reflexively trying to close her legs. Gideon held her down with his hands, parting them to fully expose her to his caress. His tongue tasted and teased, stroking her like rough velvet.
Amelia squirmed helplessly, but she was unable to move because she was held fast to the bed. Gideon continued his gentle assault, using his hands to touch and probe while teeth abraded the pearl crowning her sex. His mouth moved over her lips and bud in a ragged pattern that devastated her senses.
Moaning, she buried her trembling hands in his hair. The little ripples of pleasure built upon one another until they were a rolling wave that swept from her head to the tips of her toes. Her skin felt alive, every nerve clamoring for more—more touch, more heat. She was drowning in sensation and just when she thought she would die from the pleasure, Gideon moved one hand up to cover her breast.
The rosy tip swelled and beaded under his hand, sending sparks of lightning directly to her heated core as he caressed and stroked.
“Gideon, I can’t stand it,” she gasped, pleading.
But he was merciless. He tweaked and pinched one nipple just as his tongue plunged inside her. Her body seized as her sheath closed around him and spasmed violently. His tongue worked in and out of her, one hand stroking her breast while the other moved over her bud, pushing and extending the ecstasy consuming her body. Each touch was magnified, a ripple of energy that made her writhe and moan until she dissolved in a blazing radiance of light.
When her awareness returned, her body was whole once more. She felt like a wrung-out mop, but there was strength in her hands. They were holding onto Gideon’s shoulders. She couldn’t let him go, not even when she realized his breeches were open, completely exposing him.
“Amelia, don’t. You have to release me,” he protested, even as the hard length of his manhood stroked and ground against her slippery folds.
He wanted her badly. She could feel the force of his desire not just in the tension of his body but in the way he could barely catch his breath. Marveling at his restraint, she whispered in his ear. “It’s all right. I want you to have your satisfaction too.”
“No, I promised I wouldn’t,” he said from between gritted teeth. His body, however, continued to respond—his hips were still pumping.
She moved her hand down, intending to guide his arousal, but he was coated with the moisture from her body and he slipped easily back and forth under her palm.
Gideon hissed. “Yes, hold me against you like that,” he said, adjusting her hand so he was pressed firmly against her without checking his movement. “I won’t enter you, but you can watch. I want you to see everything—to
understand.”
Her lips parted, and she nodded, utterly taken with the idea.
That part of him was so hot, like heated iron, but the skin was so smooth. She stared wide-eyed as his erection slipped up and down against her, striking her nub on the upstroke. Each time it happened, another tickle of sensual energy would shoot through her body.
Amelia watched in fascination as Gideon’s staff swelled and jerked. He threw his head back as the last convulsions racked his body and a pearlescent liquid spilled across her belly like hot candle wax. He collapsed to the side, his chest working like a bellows. After a few moments, he swore under his breath.
“I didn’t expect that to be so…satisfying.”
Her lips curled up, and he returned her smile. “Seeing you watching me, taking it all in, was very arousing,” he confessed, an amused bewilderment in his expression before he moved away.
Gideon bent over the edge of the mattress, retrieving a handkerchief from his coat without leaving the bed. He began to clean her. Before he could wipe away all traces, Amelia touched one of the drops on her stomach with her fingers.
“This is your seed,” she said, rubbing her fingers to test the texture. “How can this grow into a baby?”
“It has to take root in your body, and that only happens at a specific time,” he said, bracing himself on his forearms.
He explained how a woman’s fertility was tied to the monthly cycle of her courses, something Amelia had been aware of, although the details had never been laid bare.
Blushing like mad, she asked him one question and then another. Before Gideon knew it, he was delivering a lecture on anatomy and sexuality using himself as a real-life model. He did it as matter-of-factly as he could until she grew comfortable enough to ask him anything.
Gideon answered every question she put to him with clarity and deference. Not once did he belittle her intelligence, even when he laid to rest some of her more ignorant assumptions.
