“Emmy takes a bottle at mid-morning. I’ll have time to give her the first feeding. Then she takes another one before her afternoon nap.” He shifted his weight to the other foot and blew out his breath. “May I be honest?”
Josie’s face registered surprise. “Jah. Of course.”
“I don’t really know her full schedule. Lydia—my mother-in-law—saw to most everything. Perhaps, you’ve cared for children before.”
Josie nodded. “You needn’t worry, Mr. Beiler. I’ve cared for my nieces and nephews, plus many of the little ones in our community. I’ve also been a mother’s helper more than once. I love babies. Emmy Sue and I will get along just fine.”
He inhaled, feeling the evening air sink deeply into his lungs. “Thank you. And Josie, please call me John. Otherwise, I’ll think you’re talking to my dat.”
His effort at levity fell flat to his ears, but her gentle laughter rippled through the air. “All right, John.”
He felt a lightness talking with his daughter’s new caregiver. Josie’s tender spirit gave him hope that maybe life could become bearable again. He was afraid to move, not wanting the welcome feeling to disappear. But Emmy’s cry gave them both a start, and they stared back toward the daadi haus.
“She’s awake already,” John said.
“May I come in and meet her properly?” Josie asked.
“Jah. Please.” John held the screen door open, and they both went in to Emmy Sue.
John reached into the crib and gathered up his daughter. “Hello, Emmy Sue. Did you get a good rest?”
Josie leaned close, and John could smell her scent of soap and garden and summer. Emmy wiggled and fussed and the tears continued to drip.
“Maybe she’s hungry,” John said.
“Or wet.” Josie gazed around the room.
“If you’re looking for the diapers, they’re in the suitcase over there.” John pointed to the brown case nearest the door. He felt foolish for not having them out and ready—and for not having changed Emmy before he put her down. Now this new caregiver would know just how inept he was.
He bounced Emmy Sue against his shoulder and observed Josie make a changing area on the low dresser next to the crib. Josie reached out for the baby and laid her down gently, cooing at her all the while.
Emmy Sue’s eyes were huge and watery as she beheld Josie. She sucked vigorously on the edge of her little fist while Josie made quick work of the diaper change.
“Here you are,” Josie said and handed the baby back to him. “I’ll rinse this diaper out and then I’ll look for a bucket. I don’t know if Mamm still has the diaper pail we’ve used before. I’ll check.”
John walked with her out of the room. Emmy Sue snuggled into him and closed her eyes.
“Thank you,” he said to Josie.
Josie paused. “You have a beautiful daughter, Mr. Beiler. I mean, John.”
John smiled and his gaze followed Josie out the door. Then he looked at his once-again sleeping daughter and touched his lips to her fuzzy head. “Beautiful Emmy. You look so much like your mama,” he whispered. “We’re going to be all right here, you and me. We’re going to be all right.”
Three
The next morning, Josie hurried with the breakfast preparations. It didn’t take long to whip up the pancake batter and have the eggs sizzling in the skillet. Her heart felt light and eager for the day—something she’d not experienced since Zeke had dropped her for Sally.
She opened the kitchen window a crack and breathed in the new day. Perhaps she would give her life in service tending to other people’s children. Or perhaps, Mr. Beiler would stay on for years, and she could care for Emmy Sue until she started first grade.
There were worse ways to spend her life.
“You humming?” Rachel asked Josie. “Are you happy again?”
Josie stared at her sister. “What do you mean, am I happy again?”
Mamm set down the spatula she was using to flip the eggs and watched her daughters.
Rachel picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled on the corner. “You’ve been sad for days. And I think I know why.”
Josie’s chest heaved. “I’ve not been sad.”
“Rachel’s right.” Mamm opened the oven door to turn over the toasting pieces of homemade bread. “You’ve been sad.”
“I’m fine.” She looked at her mother. “Everything’s fine.”
“I’ve been praying for you.” Mamm smiled. “I’m glad the Lord God is answering my prayers.”
Josie picked up a platter of sliced apples and carried them out to the table. Were her emotions so obvious to everyone? She’d have to be more careful. Yet, she was touched and grateful for her mother’s prayers.
“Am I too early?” John Beiler asked, poking his head inside the front door.
Josie’s heart quickened and she smiled. “Not at all. Breakfast is almost ready. But you don’t have to use the front door. Come in the side door from now on. It’s much more convenient from the daadi haus.”
John entered with Emmy Sue cradled in one arm. Josie went to him and took Emmy Sue.
“You don’t have to take her every time I’m around,” John said.
Josie held Emmy Sue high and then pressed her own face into the baby’s tummy. Emmy Sue giggled and kicked her feet. “How’s the little one today?” Josie asked. “Did you sleep well, pumpkin?”
John laughed and reached over to straighten the baby’s gown. “You do have a way with the bopplis.”
Josie felt her cheeks grow warm. She hugged Emmy Sue close and took her toward the kitchen. At the doorframe, she paused and turned to John.
“I know I don’t have to take her every time you’re around. And I won’t. I promise.” She lay her head on top of Emmy’s for a quick moment. “I’m just eager to get to know her.”
John nodded and gave her an appreciative smile. Josie noticed his mussed hair and how one of his suspenders was twisted and not hooked properly—had he spent a rough night with the baby? She fought the urge to go straighten the suspender and to pat his hair back into place. Mortified at such thoughts, she swept into the kitchen to show off the baby.
Yet something about the teacher drew her, and she had trouble shaking the niggling warning lights flashing in her mind.
Rachel rushed to her and held out her arms. “Can I take Emmy?”
“You go on in and visit with the new teacher.” Mamm shooed her away. “And tell him the food is coming.”
Lizzie wandered in the kitchen. “Ach! Look how cute she is!”
“Call in your dat and brother, will you Lizzie? We’re late this morning, which is a vexation. What will our new guest think?”
“Mamm, breakfast isn’t so late. I’ll help you carry the rest of it out,” Josie volunteered.
“You’ve got your hands full, girl. Go on in there with your sister and keep the teacher company.”
Josie eyed her mother. There was entirely too much zeal in her last comment. Was there a plan lurking in her mother’s heart? Was she hoping for something? Something more than Josie merely taking care of the teacher’s baby?
Mamm wouldn’t meet her eye.
“Mamm?” Josie questioned.
“Go on, Josie girl. I’ll bring in the rest of the food.”
Josie went to the dining area and sat opposite John, keeping her eyes focused on Emmy Sue. She balanced the pudgy baby on her lap.
“I can take her,” John said.
“Nonsense,” Mamm said upon entering. “You eat yourself a good breakfast. Then you can take her for a few minutes before you’re on your way. Josie tells me you’re working at the school this morning.”
“That’s right, ma’am.”
Dat and Thomas came in and joined the rest of them at the table. Dat began the silent blessing, and they all joined suit. When he gave a small cough indicating its end, they all tucked into the food with gusto.
After breakfast, John took Emmy back to the daadi haus to change her diaper. Josie had offe
red to do it, but he’d refused, saying he wasn’t going to be with her much that day so he wanted to take advantage of the moment. He swooped up the baby and was gone.
Josie waited about ten minutes before she went out to the daadi haus and settled onto a porch chair to wait. She could hear John inside, talking to Emmy. A smile touched her lips. Emmy was such a precious baby, and John obviously doted on her.
The screen door opened and Josie jumped up.
“You’re ready then?” she asked, taking little Emmy from his arms.
“I am.”
Josie watched John give his daughter a wistful look.
“Don’t worry. She’ll be fine. I’ll see to it.”
John cleared his throat and shook his head, as if embarrassed. “Jah, of course. I wasn’t doubting you.”
Her chest tightened at the sorrow in his eyes. A heaviness descended between them, and she remained still, wishing with all her heart that she could somehow ease his pain. Their gazes locked, and neither spoke, until Emmy Sue gurgled, breaking the silence.
“Well, I best be going,” John said in a stilted voice. He patted Emmy Sue on the head and took off down the lane.
Josie watched him leave. Though he was tall and his stride was long, there was a slowness to his gait. Josie’s brows drew into a frown as she contemplated what he’d gone through. She wondered about his wife. That he’d loved her deeply was obvious. That he missed her deeply—even more obvious. Josie hurt for the certain sting in his heart.
Emmy stirred, and Josie gazed at her. “Ach, precious baby. Do you miss your mamm? You never even had a chance to know her, did you?”
Emmy waved her chubby fists in the air and drooled down her chin.
“I’m going to take good care of you, and we’re going to be special friends. Like my mamm always tells me, friends are Gott’s blessings to His children.”
Josie smiled at the gurgling baby, and her mind wandered to her friend Mary. She fought back a touch of envy as she considered her close friend. Things between the two of them were certain to change soon. Who knew where Mary and her betrothed Josiah would settle? It could be Hollybrook or Josiah’s community up north. If they did decide to leave Hollybrook, Josie would rarely get to see her anymore—and the thought filled her with loneliness.
She rested her chin lightly on Emmy’s head and knew Emmy’s father must feel a loneliness far greater that hers.
John was out of sight now, but his grieving face lingered in Josie’s thoughts.
The days began to run into themselves as Josie grew accustomed to Emmy’s schedule. She helped Mamm with chores while Emmy Sue took her morning nap. During the baby’s afternoon nap, Josie found tasks to do—a bit of mending or some housekeeping. By bedtime, she was plum worn out.
Yet she loved it. And she loved Emmy Sue. The little girl had wiggled her way right into Josie’s heart, and Josie often woke early, eager for the day to begin and for John to bring Emmy to the big house. She had become so accustomed to both of them that most of her thoughts revolved around one or the other. Most days, she couldn’t tell whom she looked forward to seeing the most—the baby or the father.
School had been in session for a couple weeks when Mary came by. Josie and Emmy Sue were sitting on the big house’s porch swing when Mary’s buggy pulled up.
Josie waved. “Mary! I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since the last preaching service.”
Mary climbed out of the buggy and threw the reins over the hitching post. She joined her friend on the porch, sitting in the white rocker opposite Josie.
“I’m on my way to the Feed and Supply and I’ve only a few minutes, but I wanted to stop. We hardly see each other lately—you’ve been keeping so busy.” Mary gave Emmy’s shoulder a soft pat.
“That I have,” Josie replied. “Truthfully, I was distressed when Mamm volunteered me for the job. But now I can’t imagine a day without this beautiful boppli.” She gave Emmy a hug, and Emmy responded with a squeal.
“She is beautiful,” Mary agreed.
“She can almost sit up on her own now.” Josie’s eyes sparkled. “When I set her on the floor, she holds it for a second or two before she topples over.”
Mary’s eyes narrowed, and she gave her friend a long glance.
“Why are you gaping at me?” Josie asked.
“You love that baby.”
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? She’s precious.” Josie felt a flash of dismay—both at Mary and at herself for feeling like she had to defend her affection.
“Don’t get all mad,” Mary said. She leaned back in the rocker and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do have a question, though.”
Josie looked up, her suspicions aroused. “What?”
“You sure it’s only the baby you love?”
Josie stiffened. “Really, Mary! The man lost his wife. He’s grieving—it’s so plain on his face, the whole world can see it.”
Mary’s gaze bore holes into her.
Josie sank back on the swing. “Quit staring at me.”
Mary gave a huge sigh. “So, you’re over Zeke?”
Josie frowned. “Over Zeke?”
“That’s what I asked.”
Josie took a long breath and looked out over the corn fields. A soft breeze came up, and the corn tassels swayed in a rhythmic motion as if moving through water. Over Zeke? Her forehead creased as she realized she hadn’t thought of Zeke in days.
“Mary,” she answered, “I am.”
Mary raised her chin and bopped her head, still studying her friend. “That’s gut. I’m glad.”
“Me, too.”
“Just don’t go and get your heart broken again.”
Josie swallowed hard. “I won’t. This little one has all my attention these days.”
Mary stood and tweaked a fluff of Emmy’s hair. “Make sure it stays that way, will you? Remember, that teacher still loves his wife.”
His dead wife, Josie silently corrected her. Mary went down the steps, and Josie grabbed Emmy’s hand and helped her wave Mary off. Then Josie kissed Emmy on her smooth cheek. The two of them settled back into the swing, and Josie hummed one of her favorite church songs to Emmy, nearly putting both of them to sleep.
****
John felt an odd mix of exhaustion and exhilaration at the end of the school day. His students had dispersed, some walking and others riding in their buggies home. A handful had waited for their mothers to come and fetch them in family wagons.
John bid them all farewell, and now his classroom held an eerie quiet. But it suited him and had become one of his favorite times of day. He picked up the tattered cotton cloth to erase the chalkboard. Then he carefully printed out the next morning’s lessons for grades five through eight. Each grade had its own designated section of the chalkboard. But he wrote the new vocabulary words for each grade in one singular list. No reason why the younger ones couldn’t learn the older ones’ words.
He smiled to himself. He had been right in taking the position. He seemed to be a natural, and working with the children all day didn’t leave him any gaps of time to sink into his sorrow—unlike at the Dry Goods and Supply where he had worked with his brothers. Sometimes, he and his brothers were too busy to think, yet other times, the hours had stretched endlessly, giving John’s mind time to replay his loss over and over.
He packed up his school bag with the papers he planned to grade that evening and took one more look around the room. Checking under the desks, he was pleased to note how well the children had done with the sweeping and cleaning that day.
All was in order.
The walk back to his daadi haus was quick, but it gave him a few minutes to switch roles from teacher to daddy. His pace increased as he thought about Emmy Sue. She was flourishing under Josie’s care, and it seemed that every day she did something new. Only yesterday, Josie had proudly shown him how Emmy could blow bubbles with her spittle.
John chuckled. Who would brag about such a silly thing? But Josie’s eyes
had sparkled and she’d been so excited, he couldn’t help but be proud right along with her.
“You’re back,” Josie greeted him from the porch of the daadi haus. She held a finger to her lips. “She’s still asleep. I’m sorry, but I didn’t get her down for a nap until late.”
John mounted the steps and sat down in the porch chair opposite Josie’s.
“Mamm had to go to the Feed and Supply for some thread, and Emmy and I decided to ride along,” Josie explained. “Ach, you should have seen her! She loves the buggy and horse. I think she giggled the entire trip.”
John smiled at her vibrant expression, and the fatigue of the day rolled off him.
“On the way home, she was so tired, but she wouldn’t go to sleep. She clapped her hands and kept laughing.” Josie shook her head. “I waited for her giggles to turn into snores, but they never did.”
John leaned back in his chair and stretched out his long legs. “I’m glad she enjoyed herself.”
“Ach, that she did!”
They both fell into an amiable silence. The faint creak of Josie’s rocking chair was like a healing balm to John. He closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh. Before he knew it, he’d fallen asleep.
****
Josie watched John sleep. She’d never seen his face so relaxed and peaceful. He was already a handsome man, but even more so in sleep. A tender smile tugged at her mouth. He could do with a haircut. She kept rocking, gently pushing her feet against the worn porch boards. How many generations of grandparents had lived in this daadi haus? She didn’t know for sure. But as far as she could tell, this was the first time a stranger had taken up residence.
A stranger?
Nee. John Beiler was no stranger. Not any longer.
He felt closer to her than some of her own kinfolk. Mary’s earlier warning flashed in her mind, and Josie stopped rocking. She drew a jagged breath as she realized how much she needed the warning—and how much she’d ignored it.
She’d grown fond of John. Very fond. And more so with every passing day.
Amish Days: The Schoolteacher's Baby: An Amish Romance Short Story (Hollybrook Amish Romance) Page 3
