by Riley Rhea
“Boring! I will be so damn glad when I’m done. What’s up?”
Where to begin? Brenna is my best friend and I know I can tell her anything, but I don’t want her mad at Spencer or to cause a rift between him and Tucker. So I choose my words with care.
“Brenna, I think I fucked up.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“I slept with Spencer and left before he woke up yesterday morning. He sent me a text asking if I made it home but hasn’t mentioned anything about last night.”
“Okay, so how exactly did you fuck up? It sounds to me like he’s the one who did.”
I begin telling her what happened, starting from the moment we got to his house, all the way up until we fell asleep. I leave out the juicy details. Bitch doesn’t share the deets with me, so she doesn’t deserve them from me.
“Brenna, it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I felt this connection to him like he’s the one I’ve been waiting for all along.”
“I know exactly what you mean, Lexi. That’s how I feel about Tucker. I don’t get it though, Spencer seemed to be feeling the same things toward you this weekend. I mean, he was staring at you the whole time.”
“There is something in his past. He hasn’t talked about it. I get the feeling he never has.”
“Hmm… well, I could ask Tucker, see if he knows anything.”
“No, I don’t want to cause problems between Tucker and Spencer. I’m going to give him space and time and maybe he will come around.”
Brenna and I chat a little longer about her plans for her wedding. Before we hang up, we agree to have dinner together after graduation on Saturday. I’m really glad I talked to her. Did she have any awe inspiring comments? No. But at least I feel better for getting it off my chest.
The next few days crawl by. I’ve cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, sketched as much as I could, and walked the campus day after day. I still haven’t heard anything from Spencer. My hope is dwindling by the hour. I know I will, more than likely, see him this Sunday at Tucker and Brenna’s house. That’s better than nothing I guess.
Graduation day is finally here. I wait to take my seat, looking for Brenna. When I see her and the people behind her my heart stops.
Spencer .
He’s here and walking my way.
Chapter Seven
Spencer
The days passed slowly as I followed the same routine. Work, eat, sleep, and never talking to Lexi. I’ve been pretty quiet, keeping busy, and trying not to think about anything. By Thursday, Tucker was asking me what was up with me. I tried to blow it off as nothing, except being tired, but of course he wasn’t buying it. Finally I cave and tell him as much as I’m willing to share about the weekend, up until I woke up alone Monday morning.
“Do you like her?” he asks me curiously.
“Yeah, maybe a little too much,” I respond while going about cleaning the tools I used today.
“There’s no such thing as too much. Look man, I know there’s something holding you back. You haven’t had any relationships for as long as I’ve known you. Whatever it is, you can trust me. Talk to me if you want. Or if you’d rather, talk to Lexi. Either way you need to talk to someone about what’s really bothering you. Just be honest with her. What do you have to lose?”
That’s easy… my heart. I don’t tell him that though.
“Thanks, Tucker, I’ll keep that in mind.”
What he doesn’t know is, I’m still not ready to talk about what landed me here in this place two years ago. I wish I could erase it from my mind and move on.
“You wanna ride down with us to graduation on Saturday?” Tucker asks.
Do I? At least I would see Lexi again, and maybe if I’m lucky she will talk to me. Yes, I think I will go. It’s time that I man up and face her and hope she doesn’t hate me.
“Yeah man, that sounds good.”
Before I know it, it’s Saturday and I’m standing here with Brenna, Tucker and both their families. I scan the crowd looking for the one person I really want to see. When I spot her, I begin walking straight for her.
She looks beautiful in her cap and gown. I think she would be beautiful in anything. She doesn’t smile at me as I approach, but she doesn’t take her eyes off me either.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out as I step in front of her.
“For what?”
“For not calling you all week. It was a dick move and well… I’m sorry. How ‘bout we start over?”
Lexi looks away and stares off into the distance for a moment before she turns back to me holding out her hand.
“Hi, I’m Alexia Allen, my friends call me Lexi.” She smiles as my hand takes hers.
“Nice to meet you Lexi, I’m Spencer Jacobs. My friends call me Spence.”
Lexi leans around me and grins at whoever is standing behind me. Curious, I turn around and see a man and woman I’ve never seen before, Lexi squeals and throws herself in the man’s arms. When he releases her, she hugs the woman. The man is looking at me curiously, but before I can introduce myself, Lexi speaks.
“Spencer these old people here are my mom and dad, Sam and Alice Allen,” She laughs as her parents both scowl at her.
I extend my hand to shake her dad’s and then her mom’s. That’s the polite thing to do, right? “It’s nice to meet you both.”
Her parents are both looking between Lexi and me, like their trying to figure out if there is more there than just friends. I’m really hoping they didn’t hear our conversation and put it all together. Her dad may be older than me, but he’s a big ole dude. I’m not thinking I can take him if it came down to that.
“Do you go to school here too, Spencer?” Her mom asks.
“No ma’am, I went to community college in Bowling Green.”
“Then how did you two meet?” Her dad asks while raising a brow at Lexi who was about to answer. I haven’t been questioned by a girl’s dad in six years and it’s not any easier now than it was back then.
“We met through Brenna. She’s engaged to my boss and good friend, Tucker Wade.”
“Brenna’s getting married?” Her mom asks Lexi.
“Yes, and to her childhood best friend. They are so sweet together, Mama. Just wait till you see them together,” She answers, pulling out her phone and texting someone.
“He better be good to her. Brenna’s a good girl. I’d hate for someone to hurt one of my girls,” Her dad says while looking right at me. I’m thinking maybe I have ‘I slept with your daughter and didn’t call her for five days’ written across my forehead.
I’m just about to defend my best friend, when he and Brenna walk up. Brenna introduces Tucker and his parents to Lexi and her parents. I feel like I have been issued a stay of execution by the governor when Sam Allen’s focus is directed to Tucker.
When it’s time for graduation to begin, we all take our seats. Hours pass as they hand out diplomas. Who knew college graduation would take so long. My ass is numb and Lexi’s dad keeps looking over at me. He makes me a little nervous for some reason. Needing to get some air and get away, I get up and go in search of a bathroom. When I come out Lexi’s dad is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed waiting for me.
“I guess you are wondering why I keep looking at you and followed you.” He asks me.
“Yes sir, I am a little curious,” I answer him truthfully.
He looks at me a moment longer before he answers, “Lexi is my baby and I saw the way you were looking at each other. Something didn’t make sense to me though. When she introduced you as her “friend” you didn’t correct her.”
“Lexi and I just met last Friday, Sir, she and I are just friends at the moment.” There that wasn’t so bad.
“At the moment, what exactly does that mean?”
“I really like Lexi, but I’m not looking for more than friends at this point. We are getting to know each other, and well, to be honest Sir, maybe one day Lexi and I could have m
ore.”
Mr. Allen looks at me for a moment before nodding, straightening up off the wall and stepping toward me.
“You’re honest, I like that. Be good to my girl, Spencer, that’s all I ask. She’s never shown interest in a boy before now, so don’t break my baby’s heart,” He says as he pats my shoulder and begins to walk away.
I follow behind him and take my seat to watch Lexi graduate. Once it’s over, we all meet up at a restaurant and eat dinner together. It is relaxed and something I could get used to. I may have left my family behind, but I think I have found a new one. One of these days, maybe my family can be here with us like this. Until then, I’m content right where I am.
* * *
Lexi
Today is all about closing one chapter and beginning another. Spencer and I are starting fresh and I graduated from college. Now all of us are sitting around a table having a great time. Tucker’s dad and Brenna’s grandpa are a hoot. You can tell they’ve known each other for a long time. My dad, Tucker, and Spencer are right there with them laughing and telling jokes. Caroline and Anna have been talking quietly with Brenna about the secret wedding I suppose.
My mom is sitting next to me taking it all in, just like me. I could get used to this, maybe one day Spencer’s family will be joining us too. Yeah, I’m thinking ahead and I can’t help it. Even though we are just friends right now, I want more.
“He’s very handsome,” My mom says quietly beside me.
“Who?”
“Well both of them are actually, but I was referring to Spencer.”
I turn in my chair to look at my mom, who is looking at me like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.
How do moms do that?
“Yes he is,” I reply to her while turning back around to continue watching everyone.
Well, maybe not everyone. I am really only watching one right now. He must feel my eyes on him because he turns to grin at me. It’s obvious he knows I’d been watching him. He winks at me then turns his attention back to the men.
“Interesting,” Mama mutters beside me.
“What’s interesting?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the way you two look at each other, but yet you’re only friends. Or the fact that your cheeks are flushed from just one little smile and wink from him. I’ve never seen you have this reaction before.”
No, she hasn’t, because I’ve never met anyone that affected me the way Spencer does. Mama knows that I am holding out for the right guy. I want what she and dad have and Brenna and Tucker. I don’t want a man to love me for a little while with only half of his heart. I want his whole heart, with no memories of past ghosts haunting him. I will not share him with anyone, past or present. I’m greedy like that.
“If you want him Lexi, then fight for him. Help him heal. Open your heart to him. Show him how it is to really be loved.”
“I don’t even know what happened to him.”
“Well then, Alexia, I suggest you figure it out.” She never uses my real name, unless she means business. “Trust me, it may be a bumpy ride but the end result will make it all worthwhile.”
“Thanks Mama,” I say to the woman who has always had my best interest at heart. She smiles and pats my hand as I lean over and place a kiss on her cheek.
When we’re all leaving the restaurant, I overhear Tucker and Brenna invite my parents to their house tomorrow. I had totally forgotten that my parents were leaving for Florida tomorrow, for the next two weeks. They had asked me to go with them, without my brother, Drew, here though and not able to go with us, I told them no. The two of them need this time to themselves.
Mom and Dad hug and kiss my cheek before they get into their car to head back home. I feel Spencer behind me before he speaks.
“You going to Brenna’s tomorrow?” He asks.
“I was planning on it. You?”
“With free food? Of course I’m going.” He says with a grin.
“Are you riding back with them?”
“Depends.”
“On what?” I ask with a raised brow.
“On whether you’ll let me sleep on your couch tonight.”
I smile and nod at him before he walks over to Brenna’s Xterra, pulling out his bag and talking to Tucker who grins at me. He came prepared, just in case. This makes me smile that much more. Hope blooms in my chest, as I watch him walk back toward me. We say our goodbye’s to everyone before getting in my car and heading toward my apartment. Maybe I can get him to open up a little tonight. I need something to work with.
Chapter Eight
Spencer
Our entire car trip remains quiet as we make our way through downtown Louisville. Heading toward Lexi’s apartment, I watch as the lights of this big city zoom past. It’s so different here than back home, it would be dark and quiet by now. I glance over and gaze at Lexi, watching how the colors play over her face and wondering what she’s thinking while she chews on her bottom lip.
Damn her and that lip.
I wish she would stop doing that, it makes me want to ask her to pull this car over and take her into my arms. I can’t do that, though, because as of today, we are starting over. Meaning, we start at the beginning. It doesn’t mean that the connection I feel for her is any less. She still drives me crazy and every time I’m near her, I feel those walls I’ve built crumbling a little more.
I can hear Tucker’s words to me as I look upon her. Talk to me if you want. Or if you’d rather, talk to Lexi. Either way you need to talk to someone about what’s bothering you. Just be honest with her. What do you have to lose? I feel like I can trust Lexi with the past. I just don’t know that I’m ready to open myself up to all of that pain again.
Maybe opening up a little and telling her about Tessa would help her to understand why I have nothing to offer her. Vance? Yeah, well, that is another story all together. And one that I’m still not ready to think or talk about. His betrayal hurt so much more than Tessa’s ever could have. I wonder what Lexi would think of me having an identical twin? If I take the leap with her, and let her in, I’ll eventually have to tell her.
Could she tell us apart if she ever saw us together?
Turning back to watch the road, I wrestle with the thoughts in my mind. My biggest concern is trusting her not to shatter my already broken heart. Am I strong enough to put myself out there for her? I promised her dad I wouldn’t break his baby’s heart, and I’m a man who keeps his promises. It doesn’t help that he’s bigger than me and scares me just a little.
Having dinner with everyone tonight really makes me miss my family all the more. I miss my mom and dad, but haven’t been back home since that night. I know that I can’t give a hundred percent to anyone until I come to terms with what happened between my brother and Tessa. Hopefully one of these days I’ll be ready. Especially, since I want to move forward with Lexi.
Before I know it, we’ve arrived at her apartment. Grabbing my bag, I climb out of her little car and stretch my legs. It wasn’t like it was that far, but damn, her car wasn’t made for tall people. The hour and a half drive to Cave City tomorrow is going to be a bitch. After I can feel my legs again, I follow Lexi through her door.
She drops her purse and keys on the counter and kicks her heels off before bending over and picking them up. Fuck me, what a view. Her dress barely covers her ass and I’m really wishing a gust of wind would sweep through her kitchen. Spinning around, she catches me staring and I watch her lips quirk up in a sexy little smirk. She did that shit on purpose.
“I’m going to go change, make yourself at home,” Lexi says, before darting down the hallway into her bedroom.
This may not have been the brightest idea. Resisting her is going to be hell, especially since I’ve already experienced what having her under me is like. I head to the bathroom to change out of my dress clothes and into some shorts and T-shirt. When I get back in the living room, Lexi still isn’t there. I drop my bag beside the couch before making myself as comfortable as I
can, and anxiously wait for her to come back.
Lord, help me if she is wearing those shorts again.
“You want to play a game?” Lexi asks as she walks from her room toward the kitchen.
“Depends, what kind of game you have in mind,” I reply. I’m almost afraid of what her answer will be.
I watch as Lexi looks through a drawer and pulls something out before she turns and faces me, placing the item behind her back. Thank the Lord she’s not wearing those little shorts again.
With a sexy little smirk on her lips, she walks toward me and I can see the mischievous glint in her eyes.
What is she up to?
“What’s wrong, Spencer? You look… concerned,” She says as she stops right in front of me.
Fuck! I just know she is going to be the death of my self control. How in the hell am I ever going to keep things between us platonic? When she’s near my body comes alive and screams out for hers.
“What are you up to, Lexi?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were interested in playing a little game with me.”
“You gonna tell me what kind of game it is you want to play?”
That damn little smirk of hers is going to get us both in trouble. Her hands are still behind her back, concealing whatever it is she got out of that drawer. What the hell could she be holding? What do women keep in their kitchen drawers?
* * *
Lexi
Oh yes, I know I’m not playing fair. I also have no intentions of doing so. Being a good girl isn’t going to get me what I want. If I intend to have it all with Spencer, I have to get him to open up to me. I need him to trust me enough to tell me what it is that holds him back.
What better way, than to get him to play a game with me? He looks so concerned about what I’m suggesting. I don’t know if he’s more worried about what I want to play or what’s behind my back. What do men think we keep in our kitchen drawers? Sex toys, probably. That thought makes me snort a little and Spencer looks even more leery now. This is hilarious! He is really eyeing my arms. Oh dear Lord, he probably thinks I’m about to drop a dildo in his lap.
