No one to call for help.
Okay. Okay. The panic was closing in on her chest now, but she could do this. She had to. She drifted over to another bit of rock and searched for a place to grab on, but it was all the same. Grasp and haul and slip and fall, and her breathing was too fast now. Oh shit, she was going to die here, in her underwear. She was fucked, and this had been stupid. How could she have been such an idiot?
She didn’t hear anyone around. Being by herself didn’t feel so great anymore. Nothing did. She shivered despite the sun and clenched her eyes shut tight.
She wasn’t going to snivel. Wasn’t going to cry. Wasn’t going to be the wimp her dad had always accused her of being whenever she showed weakness. But she had to do something.
“Hello?” she called, her voice scarcely wavering at all. No answer, and her heart beat harder. “Can anybody hear me?” This was awful. The worst. Her throat caught, jaw shaking, but she said it. She choked out a quiet, pathetic, “Help?”
“Jo?”
In her head, she said every single swear word in the English language as she whirled around. Because of course it was Adam, looking over the lip of the pool. He’d pulled on a shirt, but with the sun behind him, his golden hair looked like a halo, and she couldn’t even manage to be mad that he’d found her like this. Helpless and floundering and screwed.
There’d be plenty of time for that later.
For now, all she could do was blink back the tears of relief threatening to form at the corners of her eyes and say, “Hey.”
“Hi?” He gestured toward her. “You okay?”
Every instinct screamed at her to tell him yes, of course. It was all totally under control. But the edges of her smile wobbled, and a shudder made its way up her spine. She held herself rigid and swallowed against the lump in her throat. “Yeah. But. Actually. I could use a hand.” She bit down hard on the inside of her lip and forced the word out. “Please.”
It was the perfect opening for him to be an asshole. Anybody else would have. Hell, the first time they met, he’d tried to swoop in and help her, and she’d put him on his back. He had every right to lord that over her, or to leave her stranded, or to at least make her beg.
But instead he grinned and got down on his stomach on the rock. “Of course.”
His arms were long and strong. He braced himself and reached out toward her, broad palm extended and fingers open, and she nodded to herself. She couldn’t quite reach from where she was treading water, and her own arms were shaking from all the times she’d tried already, but she had another go in her. Another wild grasp.
She searched out the best bit of purchase she could find, got the pads of her fingers into a sliver of a crevice, and situated her toes against smooth stone. Nothing for it.
She caught his eyes, and he said, “I got you,” and that was it.
One floundering lunge, and her palm connected with his. His other hand closed around her wrist, and for a heart-stopping second, she slipped, but he grunted and pulled hard, and she got another toehold under her.
And then her chest was level with the lip. She scrambled with her free hand until she could drag herself the rest of the way up. As soon as she was free, she lurched and twisted and planted her butt on solid ground. Her limbs trembled, and she put her head between her bent knees. “Fuck,” she breathed. It was shaky and weak and all she had. “Just… fuck.”
“Yeah.” He got his legs underneath him and flopped down beside her in a mirror of her pose, shoulder pressed against hers.
And she was almost naked, and he was in nothing but a pair of swim trunks and a damp T-shirt. It was practically a dream come true, but all she could concentrate on was the solidity of him and the dull awareness of the scrapes and bumps and the trembling she couldn’t seem to stop.
“You okay?” he asked. He’d shifted, ducking his head so he could sort of see her face.
No. “Yeah.” She sucked in a deep breath and straightened up. She wasn’t quite ready to stand yet, and his body was so warm. Damn it all. She leaned into him, still shivering, but the tremor cut off when he wrapped an arm around her and tugged her close.
“Shh. You’re fine. You’re fine.”
“Of course I am,” she managed between chattering teeth. She didn’t move away, though.
He laughed and said, “I know. You always are.”
She closed her eyes and leaned even farther into his bulk. He smelled good and felt better, and she could have stayed like that forever. Pressed against him and barely clothed, and it didn’t even have to lead anywhere. Not that she would complain if it did. Just the thought made a tickle of heat bloom beneath her skin.
Like he was the sun, and he was piercing deeper than that fire in the sky ever could.
It was stupid—so stupid—but she’d already almost stranded herself in the middle of a rain forest, so how much more stupid could she get? It was relief and comfort and the fact that he’d helped her, without giving her a lick of grief over it. That he’d stayed afterward and wrapped her up like this. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and turned her face into his neck. Opened her mouth against that smooth, salt-and-sun flesh. Not quite a kiss and not quite an invitation, but an intimation. An opening.
One that slammed shut just as quickly as she’d dared to crack it open when someone called his name.
“Adam! Dude, you coming?”
She jerked away, and it didn’t hurt when he did the same, all but jumping to his feet and pulling his arm in close to his side, like she hadn’t just been nestled there, as if there wasn’t any room for her there. Maybe there never had been.
She never really fit into existing places after all. She always had to dig and scrape and build to make her own.
Jared appeared from the path winding through the trees, looking impatient, and then surprised, and then knowing. Jo had never wanted to punch the guy so much. And maybe a rock. And maybe herself.
Never let them see you sweat. Never admit you’re wrong or show you have an ounce of shame. She never had before, and damn if she was going to now. Working past the lingering unsteadiness, she rose and looked straight at the asshole before picking her way across the rocks to her discarded clothing. No one spoke, and any chill seeped from her bones, replaced by the heat of the air and the heat of pulling on her shorts and tank like this, while two men watched.
Behind her, Adam cleared his throat. “Um. Yeah. Just… we’d lost Jo, and—”
“Looks like you found her,” Jared said with a laugh.
Jo hated being laughed at.
Her feet were wet, but she didn’t care. She dried them off the best she could on her overshirt, then tugged on her socks and shoved her feet into her boots. By the time she looked back at him, Adam was standing next to Jared and not making eye contact. It made the pit of her stomach roll even worse than it had before.
“Shall we?” Jared asked.
Yeah, they certainly should. With a huff, she made to stalk off toward the path Jared had appeared from, but before she could get very far, a hand closed around her wrist. A familiar hand, broad and strong. One that had rescued her and that was still not letting her fall.
“Hey,” Adam said, holding on.
“What—”
He pulled, and she turned around to face him, feeling topsy-turvy. Off balanced and unsettled, her instincts screaming at her that it was time to walk away.
“Hey,” he repeated, and he smiled. It was a fragile thing, not his usual self-assured grin. It was more than that. It was the kind of smile she could nearly see to the bottom of, as deep as the sea and as warm as his eyes. “No more wandering off alone. Remember?”
She remembered how it felt, watching them all swim and play and feeling like if she did leave, nobody would notice.
For the first time in a very, very long while, it didn’t feel that way. Not anymore.
Not after he came for her and held her when she shook apart. Not when he refused to let her go.
Not when he was hold
ing on still.
Beer in hand, Adam wound his way from the bar toward the giant table they’d finally gotten set up in a corner of the restaurant. A few of the others had already sat down, and he paused, looking back toward the bar. He thought about it for a moment. It was risky, but…
He nodded at Jared, but instead of taking his usual seat beside him, he headed for the other end of the table. Leaving a seat open between himself and Carol, he pulled out a chair and sank into it. Turning to the door again, he sought out Jo, catching her eye when she paused there. He tipped his head toward the space next to his in invitation.
He really didn’t expect her to take him up on it, and when he considered what he was doing, it was kind of a dick move. Jo usually sat as far away from everyone else as she could, and if she couldn’t, she ended up next to Carol. In his head, this had been about making her as comfortable as possible, but if she didn’t want to sit with him, he hadn’t exactly left her with a lot of good options.
Shit. Maybe he should move.
Only… she’d been sticking pretty close to him the last few hours. Ever since he’d stayed behind at the waterfall, after noticing she wasn’t with them anymore.
After she’d asked him for help and let him give it to her. Let him hold her, and pressed her mouth against his flesh, and God. He was really fucked now. If Jared hadn’t come along, he didn’t know what he would have done with that kind of opening, buzzing with adrenaline and pretending he wasn’t scared out of his mind, body humming and blood begging for it.
He might have taken it. And he didn’t know if that was right. Not when he was still all tangled up inside. Not when she went from inviting to distant in the space of a millisecond, at even the slightest hint of hesitance on his part. Not when his goal for the summer had been to avoid any additional complications.
Across the room from him, she paid for her drink and wrapped those pale, hard lips around the tip of her straw. His heart rate picked up just looking at them, and he shifted beneath the cover of the table as she strode their way. Her hips didn’t sway—nothing as obvious or seductive as that. Oh no, her gait was as steady as it ever was, only he knew what lay beneath those shapeless clothes now.
Purple panties edged in lace and ink that did indeed flow all the way down her spine to the small of her back, for all that he’d yet to get a good enough glimpse to see what it depicted. Soft, round breasts held tightly to her chest, and a trim waist, and strong, muscular legs that had gone on for miles beneath the water.
And all of them were headed toward him.
It was almost anticlimactic, the way she folded herself into the chair beside him with hardly a glance of acknowledgment, picking up her menu and burying her nose in it. He furrowed his brow and stared at her, waiting for her to say something, to do something.
Except… that was her knee, pressing against his under the table. A shot of electricity danced up his spine, and his throat bobbed. He still didn’t know how he felt or what to do, but this was only the latest in a series of advances. Every time he shied from one, she shut him down. Turned cold and hard and mean, and that wasn’t her. Not the real her. He was confident of that much now.
Jared called Adam’s name, and Adam turned to him, falling into conversation the way he always did. Like everything was normal between them. But where no one could see, he slipped his hand under the table and placed it, carefully but unmistakably, on her knee. He held his breath for what felt like the longest time. Then her hand settled over his with a quick, brief squeeze, and he exhaled in a rush. She wanted this. Wanted something.
So he spent the next hour torturing himself and testing his own patience. Tracing patterns on her skin.
Adam had been riding in P.J.’s SUV all day, so as they emptied out of the restaurant, that was the direction he headed. Only, Jo had ended up in a different car on the way over. She lingered for a moment on the sidewalk, as if uncertain which way to go, and somehow it seemed only natural now to brush his hand against hers and motion for her to come with him.
“There’s room,” he assured her.
There was. The middle seat in the back had been empty, and it would drive him crazy, but she could squeeze into that space, her whole side pressed up against him.
Carol shrugged, as if granting her permission. “More room for the rest of us in the van if you do.”
“Whatever.” Jo tugged her hand from his, but she headed toward P.J.’s car.
They clambered in, Jared in the front seat and Kim and Jo and Adam in the back. It was just the way he’d imagined it, Jo’s body up against his in the darkness, and he’d been too optimistic, thinking this would only make him crazy. She was all warmth and sharp angles and subtle curves, and he shifted, twisting around so he could drape his arm out over the back of the seat. Letting his hand hang casually, like he didn’t know his fingertips were dragging across her shoulder. She smelled like sunscreen and lavender and rum. She’d taste like sin, he thought. Wet and hot, and his patience with his own uncertainty was wearing thin.
Shannon—Shannon didn’t call him. Didn’t e-mail him or text him or want him, and he was tired of waiting for her to care as much as he did. As much as he used to. He didn’t know what Jo wanted him for. Maybe just a night, or a few nights. Maybe just for some comfort and company, but it would be something. He couldn’t deny it any longer.
He rubbed a little harder at her shoulder, pressing his thumb into the point of her collarbone. She didn’t pull away. This was going to be the longest ride home ever, but as he gave in to it, the anticipation melted into a steady, simmering buzz, one that made him feel loose and heavy in his bones.
One broken only by P.J. speaking his name.
He jerked his head up, pulling his gaze from where it had drifted—from the gather of Jo’s shirt between her breasts. P.J. had an eyebrow cocked as she tried to catch him in the rearview mirror.
“Huh?”
P.J. chuckled, and the knowing cast to it made his neck feel hot. “I said, the stores are probably still open. Do you want to stop and see if you can take care of your phone?”
His… phone. Right. How had he forgotten about his phone?
Without really thinking about it, he drew his arm back, draping it over his lap as he rubbed his other hand over his face. “Um. Yeah. Actually. That would be great.” He happened to have the shattered remains of the thing in his backpack anyway. He’d had them there for a week and a half, just in case he ever got around to reminding someone they’d promised to take him, but the moment had never seemed right.
He hadn’t been ready to find out what messages he’d missed. Or, more likely, what he hadn’t.
“If nobody else minds,” he added after a second’s thought.
“I’ve got nowhere else to be,” Jared said.
Jo and Kim both made indifferent noises, but Jo had curled into herself while they’d been talking. No more easy, barely conscious press of her knee against his leg. She wasn’t looking at him either, and her jaw had gone hard, and oh no. They weren’t doing that again.
The car started up, and Adam didn’t care if Kim or Jared or anyone could see. Eyes trained forward, breath tight, he reached out in the darkness and took her hand. She went to pull away, but he held on, intertwining their fingers and squeezing her palm, trying to say all the things he couldn’t right then. All the things he didn’t know how to put into words, about how she was beautiful and tough and interesting, and about how he wanted inside her walls. Under her clothes and inside her body and into her trust. Her mind.
But at the moment, his personal life was a mess.
His stomach was a knot as they pulled up in front of a big electronics store. Jo withdrew her hand as they got out, and once they were inside, she gestured toward the rear of the store before heading off.
“I’ll find you?” he called after her.
“If I don’t find you first.”
The others all wandered away, too, leaving Adam to go in search of the cell phone counter. Fortuna
tely, the woman manning it spoke fluent English. She frowned at his declaration that he’d dropped it, but he had insurance on the thing, and with only a little bit of bitchface, she got to work on getting him another one.
In the meantime, he leaned against the glass and gazed around, trying not to think about what might or might not have come in while he’d been phoneless. He could have checked online if he’d really wanted to, but he hadn’t. There was no more putting it off now.
The lady was just handing him the new phone when Jo picked her way over to him, and the timing seemed a little too convenient. “So?” she asked, disinterested in tone, but the way she gazed off into the distance was pointed.
He braced his elbows against the counter and held the thing out to her with the boot-up screen displayed.
Mirroring his posture, she tapped the blunt, short tips of her nails against the glass. He wanted to reach out and still them. Wanted to pull that lip ring out from between her teeth with his mouth. Instead, he stared at the screen as it finished up its sequence. Searched for signal.
It buzzed in his hands, and he kept it angled so she could see as he scrolled through the list of texts he’d missed. There were a bunch from the first day or two, before everyone had gotten the message that he was e-mail-only for a little while. His brothers and his friends from school.
The last one was from just a couple of days ago, though.
“It’s from Shannon.”
“Is that her name?”
“Yeah.” Had he really not ever told her that? He tapped the message with his thumb.
Got the day off for when you’re in Baltimore. See you soon!
The day? He’d booked out the whole weekend just to see her. Delayed his flight and extended the hotel stay. He’d explained all this, sent her an e-mail with the details, and she was… He didn’t know what she was doing.
When The Stars Align Page 8
