by Dee J. Adams
Maybe it was time to give the guy a new batch of cookies from the new girl in town. Paula quickly placed a dozen cookies on a ceramic plate and sealed some Cling Wrap over the top. Grabbing her purse, she eased out the front door and headed toward Mel’s.
Her heart thundered with each step. She had to play this right to gain his confidence. Her future could very well depend on this conversation.
A minute later Paula hit the doorbell and released a measured breath as footsteps drew near. The door opened and Mel stood there, a dark knit cap covering his head. “Hi,” Paula said, brightly. She extended the plate of cookies. “I was hoping to talk to you for a sec, if that’s okay?”
“Is Ashley okay?” he asked, opening the door wider.
Nodding, Paula kept her jealousy buried and the smile on her face. “She’s fine. I just thought we might talk for a second.”
Mel took the offered plate and stepped back to let her in. The opulent house took her breath away. She pictured herself on the sofa in the living room, or sitting with Mel in front of the giant fireplace. The house was enormous, but he’d never leave her alone. They’d take up the same space, the same air. They’d touch and kiss and the whole world would fade away when—
“Paula?” Mel waved a hand in front of her face and she blinked. “Everything okay? You disappeared for a minute.”
Embarrassed, Paula felt the heat in her cheeks. Now was not the time to lose control. “Sorry. I was just looking at your place. It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks, but it’s not really mine.” His gaze skittered around the house. “I’m just housesitting.”
Empathy blossomed in her chest. Poor guy. He didn’t have to lie to her. She was the one person in the world he could count on for anything.
Mel looked leery and Paula straightened her head and blinked again.
“Can we sit down?”
He gestured toward the huge beige sofa in the living room and Paula took a spot in the middle, leaving him either side to sit on. He set the cookies on the coffee table and took the single seat opposite her. “What’s on your mind?” he asked.
She took a deep breath and looked him square in the eyes. She wanted to be forthright and honest with him. “I know who you are.” Except for the tiniest widening of his eyes, Mel had almost no reaction. Paula didn’t want him on the defensive so she hurried on. “I know you’re really Seger Hughes. I know you’re close with Ashley and since it looks as if I may be around a while, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to her place because of me. I realize that neither she or Lizzie know who you are and I have no intention of changing that.” Talking about Lizzie in the present tense wasn’t that easy, especially with a vivid picture of the woman’s corpse stamped in her memory. “I just wanted to be honest with you.” Mel still didn’t say anything and Paula filled the silence. She lifted her right hand. “I promise on my mother’s grave that I won’t say a word to anyone.”
Mel shook his head a fraction and closed his eyes briefly before leveling her with his gaze. “Why are you so ready to keep it a secret when you know there are a handful of magazines who’d pay you a lot of money to out me?”
She’d never betray him, but he didn’t know that about her yet. Placing a hand over her heart when she really wanted to reach out and touch him, Paula swallowed back the longing she’d felt for this man for so many years. “I don’t care about the money. I think what the press has done to you all these years—and especially these last few months—is abhorrent. Those people should be shot for the way they hound you. I can’t imagine what it’s like to watch every step or every word I say. You deserve so much better than that.”
His eyes narrowed as if she wasn’t sincere, and her heart went out to him that much more. Poor Mel. Always having to watch his back. Never being able to trust anyone completely. Once he realized he could depend on her, he’d never look back.
“I promise, you can trust me.”
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
“Because. The other day when we met, it seemed as if you disappeared really quickly and like I said, I don’t want you to think you can’t come around if I’m next door. Ashley needs her friends now more than ever and I want to be there for her. I’m sure you do too. Between the two of us we can give her the courage to move out of denial and start accepting her blindness.”
“What about this new treatment? She told me there’s a shot that might clear up the condition.”
Paula shrugged. She’d done her research on the FDA-approved drug. “There’s a sixty percent chance it won’t work. I’d hate to get Ashley’s hopes up if she’s in the majority.” She couldn’t tell if Mel was happy or sad with that news. “I think she should be prepared for the consequences. Don’t get me wrong… I’d love for her to get her vision back, but at the same time, I don’t want to give her false hope.” Paula looked in her lap for a few moments and let Mel think about her words. “I want you to know you can trust me. Just like Ashley can trust me to give her what she deserves.”
Smiling, Paula shook her head and looked around the giant room. “I actually can’t believe I’m sitting here with you.” She met his gaze. “I love your music. I mean I really and truly love every song on every album.” Maybe she shouldn’t be confessing this now, but she didn’t know when she’d get another chance to be alone with him. “You inspire me on so many levels.” Maybe she should tell him the whole truth, that they’d lived in the same neighborhood in Ohio before his parents moved the family to a different city? But that might make him think she was a stalker or something and that wasn’t even close to the truth.
She was simply his soul mate.
* * *
After twelve of the longest minutes of his life, Mel watched and waited behind his front door until Paula rolled down the driveway in her SUV, then he slowly banged his head against the doorframe.
“Stupid.” Thunk. “Stupid.” Thunk. “Stupid.” Thunk. “Did you really think you’d get away with this? Dumbshit.” Mel turned his back and leaned against the door. “Fuck.” He’d known the minute he met Paula that she’d recognized him, but apparently living in denial was big on this hilltop.
Mel headed upstairs and back to his guitar. He had no reason to doubt Paula’s words except that no one did anything for free. She was doing him a favor, keeping her mouth shut, and one day she was going to spring him with something he could do for her. It was one thing to keep it from the press, but why would she keep it from Ashley? Did she think Ashley would tell the press?
He didn’t want to lose what he had with Ashley. Paula was the perfect example, gushing over him and his music, going into disciple mode with shining eyes and motor mouth.
He already knew how Ashley felt about his music, which was another reason he couldn’t tell her the truth. Not without doing it his way in his own time. She loved the music he was working on now and that was what kept him at it.
Mel sat on his stool and picked up his acoustic. He strummed the notes he’d been humming and added a few words here and there. The song was coming together. So was his relationship—correction—friendship, with Ashley.
The phone rang and Mel groaned. He picked up the receiver. “Grand Central.”
“Seger. It’s me.” Greg. He’d said early on that he couldn’t go back and forth between Mel’s given name and his stage name. Greg had only known him as Seger so he would remain Seger, especially if Mel insisted that his identity stay under wraps. Mel figured it couldn’t hurt where his privacy was concerned. Not that he’d looked for privacy in the last fifteen years. On the contrary, he’d taken all the publicity that had come his way. Good, bad or otherwise. “I just listened to the CD you sent over,” Greg continued. “Are you shittin’ me with this? There’s no way the company will go for it.”
“Have you even talked to them yet?” Mel asked. “Did you hear that first song? That’s a hit and you know it.”
“Since when did you start predicting hits? I thought you knew better than
that.”
Since Ashley had told him it was a hit. He agreed with her. “That song’s got the melody and I’m working on the lyrics.” Mel didn’t want to let this go without a fight. “Run it by the execs and don’t mention it’s from me. Tell them you found some new talent. See if they figure it out.” His voice was distinct, but the song style was so different they might not make the connection.
“I can do that, but you know as well as I do what they want from you. They want hard-driving Seger Hughes. They want what your fans pay to see. That’s not what you sent me.”
Mel pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think I can do that anymore, Greg. I’m tapped out. If the company doesn’t want this music they can sue me.”
“You sound pretty blasé considering you could lose millions. You signed a contract.”
Mel lifted his head. “That’s right. I signed a contract for five albums and we specifically worded the contract so that the last album has more leeway.”
“More leeway does not translate to a completely different sound,” Greg said.
Sighing, Mel picked up his guitar. “Do what you have to do, Greg. It’s this or nothing at all. If my fans don’t like it, they don’t have to buy it and the record company can kiss my ass. I appreciate all the work you’ve done for me, but if you can’t fight for me on this, then maybe our time together is through too.”
“Seger. Mel….” Greg paused. “I’ll try, okay? I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” Mel hung up the phone, his newfound confidence shot to hell.
* * *
Two days after her fall in the kitchen, Ashley held onto the rail as she descended the stairs to the beach. Yoga had helped work out the kinks, and her muscles didn’t hurt anymore. Her hip and arm were still bruised, but nothing that wouldn’t heal in a few more days.
She’d seriously considered telling Paula to take a hike, but Paula had been so nice and helpful the last few days that Ashley put the idea on the back burner. For now.
The weather had warmed up, but a brisk ocean breeze blew wisps of her short hair into her eyes. Bundled up in sweat pants, with a down vest keeping her warm, Ashley found her chair and headed toward her spot on the beach. She heard Mel talking to Roamer as she neared.
“Good morning, Ashley.” Mel’s low voice sent an instant zing of warmth to her chest. They’d begun a ritual of sorts…meeting every morning at the beach on days he didn’t work, talking about nothing and everything and laughing over stupid jokes. It had been years since Ashley had immediately “clicked” with a guy and she loved their time together.
“Good morning, yourself,” she told him. She adjusted the chair and sat next to him. “Did you go out last night? Get laid?”
He laughed and the sound brought a mini tingle to her spine. She loved his laugh, deep and throaty and all male. She’d make him laugh all the time if she could.
“No to both questions,” he said. “Go get it, Buddy.” Roamer’s red ball flew past her periphery.
“Aw. That’s whack.” A strange sense of relief spread through Ashley. She ignored it. Mel didn’t belong to her and she had no claim on him. But in this short time, she had grown to care about him.
“We need to find you a woman. Or get you laid. Or both.”
A long silence ended when he said, “Why? Maybe I’m happy being alone and celibate.”
That idea appalled her. “Who would be happy alone and celibate? That’s… That’s…depressing.” Which made her depressing because she was also alone and celibate.
Wait…he was celibate? “Not that this is any of my business,” she ventured, “but how long have you been celibate?”
Roamer returned with the ball and Mel tossed it again before settling back.
“Not as long as you,” he assured her. “About seven months.”
That seemed unfathomable. She’d lived in L.A. long enough to know how concerts worked and how women wanted any piece of the action they could get. She turned to him. “Let me get this straight. You’ve been on the road with women at your disposal almost all the time and you haven’t taken advantage of that in seven months? Why?”
His silence warned her she’d stepped into private territory.
“I’m sorry.” She turned back in her chair and faced the water. “None of my business.”
Just because she could have sex talk with her best friend, Ellie, didn’t mean she could with Mel. Though they’d gotten close, maybe they weren’t that close. Huh, wasn’t it interesting that she’d gone from Elle to Mel. What were the odds of that?
A flush heated her cheeks as she held back the odd giggle in her throat.
“Here’s the thing,” he said haltingly. “I haven’t really been myself lately and I needed time to find me. Just be with me.”
Didn’t she know the feeling? But it was easier to talk about someone else’s life than try to analyze hers. “If you haven’t been yourself, who have you been?” She saw him shrug from the edge of her vision.
“I don’t know.” He sounded so sad, her heart went out to him. “I guess I got carried away by the whole lifestyle. When you run close with Seger Hughes you get offered a lot of shit. Booze, drugs, women. When you’ve struggled and come from nothing, it gets hard to say no to ‘free.’ Then one day you realize you’ve lost who you thought you were and what you wanted to accomplish.”
What did she say to that? She would’ve given every dime she had to see his face right now. She could only imagine his sad hazel eyes from the desolate sound of his voice.
It had to be hard, working for a man who made millions doing exactly what you wanted to do yourself.
“You’re still young, you know. Just because you’ve maybe gotten a little stuck working for Seger doesn’t mean you can’t break out.”
“What if no one takes me seriously?” he asked. He sat up and turned toward her. “What if they only see me this one way and I don’t get the chance?”
“I heard you play, Mel. You’re amazing. If you ask me, you’re way better than Seger Hughes. Your music has heart and soul. I swear, you touched a part of me and I’m a tough nut to crack.”
Another stiff breeze blew her hair across her temple and Mel’s calloused fingers gently brushed it away from her eyes. Those little tingles skittered across her skin and she took a measured breath.
“You really like it that much?” The doubt in his tone was unmistakable.
“I told you I did. I think you’re so talented. It’s just a matter of getting the right people to hear you.”
“Ash, you amaze me.” He shifted and in the next second his lips brushed her cheek in a tender kiss.
She froze. Took a second to decide if she should turn her head and offer herself to him, but she didn’t dare. She didn’t want to ruin their friendship. God only knew if her body was ready for more than a kiss or two. It had been so long since she’d been with a man she wasn’t sure she’d remember what to do.
Mel pulled away, but cupped her face in his hands. All she saw were the blurry edges of his shoulders. “You make me feel like I can do it,” he said. “You make me feel like I did twenty years ago when I’d just come out here. Like I can do anything.”
“You can.” She was sure of it. Actually she had a great idea. “When’s the next time you work?” His fingers dropped from her face and Ashley felt the loss despite her excitement.
“Seger’s got a benefit gig coming up in Seattle.”
“Talk to him. Talk to his manager and make them listen to your music. You can get some studio time somewhere, slap your song on a CD and play it for them in Seattle. Or—even better—on the way to Seattle when they’ve got nothing but time to kill.”
“I don’t know.” He sounded doubtful, but at the same time Ashley heard the smile in his tone. “What if they fire me?”
“Then fuck ’em. They don’t deserve you. Sometimes you need to shake things up and see where the pieces fall.”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time. Maybe she wasn’t t
he person to be handing out advice when her life sucked so badly at the moment.
His fingers traced a line down her temple and brushed away stray strands of hair. The same tingle of warmth zinged along her spine and lifted the hair on her nape. His hand rested on her neck and his thumb stroked her cheek.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had someone on my side?”
She shook her head, afraid to speak, afraid to break the spell that brought them this close.
“It’s been a long, long time.”
“What about your—” She almost slipped and said family. “Friends? You must have someone.” She had no clue why her voice sounded so soft.
“When I moved here, I was on my own. I hung out at a lot of clubs and played any chance I got. I didn’t really strike up any long-lasting friendships.”
“But it didn’t stay that way.” She took his hand and held it between her own. “You said yourself that Seger likes you. He gave you a job.”
“Yeah, but he’s a boss. Not a friend.”
Ashley knew the distinction. “Well, I’m your friend. You have me. I’ll tell you on a regular basis just how great you are.”
Roamer bounded back with his ball and dropped it at her feet. “Don’t forget Roamer,” she added. “He thinks you’re aces.”
If she hadn’t had Mel to talk to the past couple of weeks she might’ve fallen into a depression. But their time together usually had her laughing and she wanted to thank him and make sure he knew she supported him fully.
“I think you’re both pretty great too,” he said. Sitting so closely, Ashley smelled the lingering spice of his cologne and wanted to taste him. She wanted to brush her lips against his and revel in his warmth.
But a man as talented and wonderful as Mel deserved a whole woman.
Besides, just because she wanted to kiss him didn’t mean he wanted the same thing or that the rest of her body would respond even if he did. What if she tanked in bed? Scary thought. They were much better off as friends.
“Look at us,” she said, forcing a smile. “A mutual admiration society.”
