by Brindi Quinn
“No.” Meanwhile, Rafe’s voice was drier than ever before. “Nuh-uh. Stop that. I had enough of your constant flirting on the way down here.”
The way down here? But I thought we had been so discreet!
“That was nothing. I’ll show you real flirting,” said Windley, and for the faintest of seconds, his eyes pulsed emerald.
“I’m good,” said Rafe.
I, on the other hand—“Windley! You just used your power! Ascian will know where we are!”
“Naw, not enough for that. Just enough to give him a general direction. You mean to draw him away from Queen Beau and Sir Albie, don’t you?” He motioned to Rafe: “Better hurry up with that letter, chap. And then the feathers.”
Feathers? I had missed something while in my head, and Windley knew it too.
“Nice cover by the way,” he whispered. “But you didn’t actually hear any of my plan. I’ve been watching you for years, so I know all of your little tricks. And I know when you’re being plagued. What is it you always say? You don’t need to talk about it, but if you decide to—”
I put a finger to his lips. “You’d be the one I’d go to anyway.”
Chapter 4
The Edge of Nowhere
“If you’re screwing with me, so help me—”
“Chap, why is it so hard for you to believe that I’m on your side? Go ahead then, take them off. See what happens.”
Feathers.
Believe it or not, they were arguing about feathers.
Windley believed donning the ones left by the crow would shield Rafe’s scent from any other wraiths coming for him, buying us time to find a new goddess. Solid in sound, but Windley was only eighty percent certain it would work, and Rafe was ninety percent annoyed with the musty, pointy feathers shoved inside his pants, shirt, and cloak.
That was the first part of the plan I had missed.
The second part was our destination.
“The Edge of Nowhere,” Windley recapped for me as we left the ruins. “A legendary stretch of coast where the sea and sky show more colors than are found in the rest of the world. It’s said to have been painted by a goddess. Right up your alley.”
“I’ve never heard of such a place. How far is it?”
“They say you’ll find it if you walk along the coast long enough,” Windley said with a shrug.
“They, huh? So it can’t be marked on a map? And what percent certain are you it’s even a real place?”
“Says the girl with glowing footprints and shadows swirling around in her head. Southerners believe it exists as much as they believe the southern mountain exists. Well, existed, thanks to you. It’s one of our staple stories. Like the tale of the otter and the crane for you northerners.”
Yes, that was one of Poppy’s favorites and one of my least.
“Okay, so if it’s real, Rafe may be able to contact a new goddess there,” I said. “What other ‘birds’ are you hoping to stone in the process?”
“Goddesses aren’t especially keen on my kind, but they are keen on Rafe’s. A goddess in her own domain could secure our victory against Ascian if we lure him there. So long as Rafe charms her right. Maybe I should give him some pointers. What do you think?”
I shrugged him off. “Goddesses don’t like Spirites? Why not?”
Windley frowned that I was more interested in his people’s lore than in playing with him. “Because we aren’t their children. Our foremothers were something else.”
“Oy,” Rafe called over his shoulder. “Which way?”
“Well definitely not that way,” said Windley.
“Then why don’t you get up here and take lead?!” snapped Rafe, ever grumpy. “You’re back there dawdling when you’re supposed to be our guide! How did I get stuck on another gallivant with you?! Of all the guards in the queendom, this is really the one you want to be around, Your Majesty?”
Side note, can I just say how much I enjoyed Rafe finally starting to be himself around me after so many years? Okay, back to it.
“You’re the one that interrupted our honeymoon,” said Windley. “If it weren’t for you, I’d surely have devoured our virgin queen by now.”
I flicked him in the neck. Hard. “Says who?”
“Ow.” Windley cupped his neck and pretended to pout.
At least Rafe’s arrival had taken his mind off the memories hidden behind his brow. If anything, he was behaving more Windley-ish than normal.
Insufferable, Beau had once said.
Insufferable, just the way I liked him.
I had promised him a few days before telling me about Ascian. He seemed determined to spend those days playfully. And, as I had come to know, the greatest support I could give was to humor him.
Windley had no outlet for heavy emotions. He had a few days to develop one.
We traveled the overgrown path that had once been cobbled, connecting from the edge of the ruins and through the forest to the lands beyond. Dry gatherings of airy vegetation clung to the trees at either side, encroaching closer and closer until whatever remained of the path became swallowed up by the moss of the forest. As day deepened, our haste quickened, the orangest parts a reminder that time was waning. We needed to get out of the Emerald Wood once and for all and find somewhere to restock supplies. As it stood, we weren’t equipped for a journal of indefinite duration.
Windley didn’t seem concerned.
“Why’s he so sullen anyway?” Windley’s elbow was on my shoulder, his head tipped toward Rafe. “Thinking about how pissed Queen Beau is going to be when she receives our message? You know Sir Albie won’t let it go either. And if Rafe found us using that blood-lusting bird, you can bet your knight will try the same.”
“In the letter, I ordered him not to follow us. Beau will enforce it.”
“I don’t know, lion queen, guards have been known to break oaths for you.”
He said it nonchalantly, but I could feel his stare, dark and pointed, pricking the hairs of my neck.
He had looked at me that way many times before.
Only now did I know what it meant.
I was at odds with how to handle it, caught between instincts—worrying over his returned memories, focusing on the mission ahead, bantering the way we always had, or… ignoring everything else and finding an excuse to touch him again.
Was there a proper way to transition from friend to lover? Beau and Rafe hadn’t exactly been friends before their affair. I couldn’t imagine myself ever calling Windley ‘darling’ or taking his arm at a gala. I could only imagine poking fun at him. Defending against his wit. Racing with him through the Scarlet Wood. Returning his devil’s grin. Pushing my hands beneath his shirt as he hoisted me into his lap…
“Merrin?” he said my name gently.
His hair was a soft color, much like the airy moss dangling from the trees. It mussed against his ears, riding the onset evening breeze. Our monster tugged at me. If I focused on it, my chest’s rhythm would change, influenced by the desires beneath.
“Hm?”
“Would you think me a coward if I chose to take another elixir?”
I could no longer feel his stare, for it was lost to the mammoth trees.
“Not in the slightest.” My answer came quick, in memory of his lacerations. “But…”
The ‘but’ caught his attention.
“That doesn’t seem like something you would do,” I finished.
He took a moment to answer. “Don’t be fooled, queenie. Men are generally weaker than they let on.”
At my cocked head, he continued:
“Never mind. It doesn’t apply anyway.” He threw me a curling grin. “I’m not technically a man.” Then, he plucked a piece of greenery from my hair. “What is this, a branch? You’re going to look so scraggly by the time we reach civilization.”
“Southern civilization,” I said pragmatically. A strange concept considering everything beyond the queendoms was known to my court as the uncivilized realm. “How long
until we get there?”
“Walking? Week or two.”
“Walking? he says, as if there’s another option,” scoffed Rafe.
“Actually, there is. I’ll show you tomorrow after we reach the golden field. For now, scout out a shelter suitable for our Queen. I’ll catch dinner.”
Catching dinner was usually Rafe’s job. Maybe Windley offered because of Rafe losing his enchants. Either way, Windley saluted before springing off into the amber glow of dusk.
If Rafe had ever looked crotchetier, I had never seen it. He began thwacking at the brush for fuel to nurture a fire. I helped by collecting dead branches in my shirt, snapping them in half loudly to interrupt the silence. My tongue felt awkward and large behind my teeth. It wanted to say something, but I refrained, offering him the distance he surely craved.
I set the pile of sticks at his feet before setting off in search of trumpet bulbs—a forest plant with a wide mouth suitable for collecting dew and rainwater. Windley always had a canteen on his belt, and Rafe had brought his along in his pack, but without knowing when we would encounter our next pool or stream…
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”
I hadn’t expected him to speak.
“Rafe?”
He was crouched to the ground, striking his flint, the curl to his hair more chaotic than normal. “I’m sorry I’ve been ill-mannered. I have no excuse,” he said.
“Hm. Well, first of all, you really shouldn’t be worried about being ill-mannered in the presence of Windley. He makes you look like a saint. And secondly, you do have an excuse, Rafe.” I put a hand to his shoulder, more so for me than for him. “I’m sad to leave her behind too, after just getting her back. I understand it must be especially frustrating for you.”
He said nothing, so I continued:
“But we wouldn’t have separated ourselves if it weren’t the wisest course of action. You know, more than anyone, that Beau is special. She’s like a sparkly gem that needs to be shined and kept. I’ve seen the beings pursuing Windley; they’re dangerous; and now, with those wraiths after you, we have multiple enemies to fend. It isn’t something Beau should be part of. We might both be queens, but she isn’t like me. She’s shiny.”
The world seemed to pause but for the glimmer of night.
“Don’t sell yourself short, Your Majesty.” Rafe fed the newly formed fire a helping of dry moss, which crackled delightfully in response. “And thank you for your lenience. I’ll do better tomorrow.”
“If you need to let off steam, let it off, Rafe. I’ve always hoped you might be yourself around me someday.” And that’s the last I would say, for fear of making him uncomfortable.
I left him in search of trumpet bulbs and any herbs that might accompany dinner.
“He’s right, you know.”
I jumped at Windley’s voice coming from Windley’s body that had been leaning—one could almost say hiding—around the back of a large tree trunk. When I went to inspect the other side, he snatched me and pulled me out of view.
What was this, an ambush!?
“He’s right,” Windley said again, putting his thumb to my cheekbone and his knuckles to my chin before I could catch my breath. “If ever there was a shiny one, it is you, my queen. So shiny I’m afraid I’ll dull you if I get too close.”
An ambush, to be sure.
“You could always try it and see what happens,” I said. “The getting close, I mean.”
For the sake of the story, captive ones, pretend that came out seductively. It didn’t—it came out breathless and blushy—but just indulge me and pretend I hadn’t completely forgotten how to flirt in lieu of him leaning over me, backed by forest glow, dirt on his cheeks and sweat on his neck.
“You’re staring at my mouth, lion queen. Do you want me to kiss you?”
“Definitely not. The thought of it repulses me.”
“Pity. I should very much like to.”
“Fine.” I sighed a shaky sigh. “I’ll allow it. Since you groveled.”
He leaned in closer, grin amused, but as I set my hand to his chest, he stopped halfway.
“Are you checking for a heartbeat again?” said his frown.
Guilty.
“O-of course not!”
“You’re still worried about that? I told you, I have a heart. I’m pretty sure everyone does. Watch.” He slipped his hand over mine to push it firmer against his chest and continued where he left off, leaning forward until his lips were inches from mine. The steady beat of his existent heart quickened. “See?”
Charmagne was in my head. The crow was in my head.
Of course he had a heart. Of course he felt for me.
I stood on my tiptoes to finish what he had started, when—
“Fire’s ready,” Rafe called in our direction. “You get dinner?”
Windley tightened his jaw and sucked in a stream of air through his nostrils. “Impeccable timing. Save that kiss for later, lion queen. Don’t give it to anyone else.” He warmed my forehead instead, before sauntering to where Rafe waited near the budding flames.
Windley tossed Rafe his findings: grouse. I should have guessed.
“Was this a surrogate for the widowbird?” I asked suspiciously over dinner.
“For all you know, it IS the widowbird,” he said.
“Ha! I’d like to see you catch one.”
“The way you’re sneering almost makes it seem as if you lack faith that I could,” said Windley.
“You couldn’t,” said Rafe. “Trust me. I spent an afternoon with one of the bastards.”
“I don’t know what you two have such a problem with. Widowbirds have been companions to the royals for ages.”
“Hmph. Maybe in the way humans keep livestock for later consumption,” said Windley, tugging at his moss-colored hair.
Companions.
‘Your kind isn’t known for companionship.’
I shook it away.
We slept beneath a covering of echoes keeping watch for those without merit—Rafe bundled in the crow’s feathers and I bundled in Windley’s cloak. With the fire reduced to lava-like coals, our site was lit only faintly by the nocturnal shimmers of the forest. The night air tasted familiar—like breathy autumn in the Scarlet Wood. The wind was mostly still but for polite bouts of movement across our campsite, rustling loose pieces of foliage and demonstrating that we were near the forest’s edge.
Sleep eluded me, but it wasn’t due to discomfort.
Actually, it was the opposite.
Windley was warm and firm, and unlike last night, tonight wasn’t tainted by exhaustion. I buried my face in his chest and redolence, and thought about how strange it was that I should be doing so.
These arms around me were Windley’s, and that was his warmth I was stealing, pushed up beside him in the cool of night. I never imagined he would hold me this way, sweetly, besottedly. Not him. Not Beau’s bastard of a guard with origins so much more complex than I ever could have known.
“Shhh.” From over my head he made a shushing noise and tightened his embrace.
“I didn’t say anything,” I murmured.
“It isn’t your mouth; it’s your mind. I can practically feel your musings. Go to sleep. It’s an early day tomorrow.”
Stupidly insightful incubus. I wiggled deeper into his cloak.
Five minutes passed before he spoke again, heralded by a tired sigh. “Okay, lion queen, what is it? What’s keeping your breath from turning heavy?”
I looked up at him through the darkness and felt him tense as I told him: “This is strange.”
“…What is? Our embrace?”
“Mm.”
His brow dropped into obvious concern. “Does it feel unnatural?”
Oh, I should have considered how it might come off.
“No,” I corrected. “It feels natural. That’s what’s strange. My body sinks into comfort with you, like it’s something we’ve always done.”
After the initial few minutes of
heart-racing, that is.
But he didn’t need to know about that.
His muscles relaxed. “Goddess. Damn. Don’t scare me like that.” After a moment of silence, he slipped his hand to my lower back and skimmed his fingers over the top of my shirt, as if wanting to gather the fabric and slide it from my skin.
He was good at things like that. I fought to keep my breaths even.
He cleared his throat. “For me it’s natural because I’ve imagined it happening since the day I met you,” he said.
I felt my blood flush beneath my neck. “It sounds like you’re implying love at first sight.”
“More like love at first scent.”
“Hah? You sniffed me?”
“Quiet or you’ll wake the grumpy one.” His fingertips settled at the kernel of my shoulders. “I can’t say why it feels natural for you, but… I’m not disappointed you feel that way.” His tone changed into something exposed. “It gives me hope that you might make it through what I’m going to tell you in a few days.”
About his dark past and the things he had done therein.
I thought that maybe the cork in his bottle was starting to wiggle loose, as if the bubbles deep within him were forcing it open. I would tread delicately.
“I don’t know what you’re so worried about, Windley. Whatever you did as a child, it isn’t who you are now. I’m rational enough to accept that a person’s soul can change.”
“And if a person has no soul?”
He had to have felt my throat clench.
“Kidding. Just trying to give you something new to search about for, after finding evidence of a heart.”
His defense was to provoke play. Fine then. I’d allow him a few more days, as promised.
“It all makes sense now; I always suspected you were a soulless devil.”
He twitched a grin before closing his eyes and pulling me closer. I followed him into the chasm behind our lids, but that wasn’t the end of it. On the outskirts of sleep, I heard him whisper something into my mane.
“It was wrong of me to steal your heart, queenie. I won’t blame you when you decide to take it back. I understand now, more than ever, how undeserving I am of it.” His voice was laced with vulnerability I had never heard from him. “But rest assured, my lionhearted queen, I’ll love you even after you stop loving me.”
