She shook her head back and forth, chuckling to herself. “Gosh, what an ass that cabbie was.” She looked at Gus and me. “Are you guys joining us?” she asked.
“Spencer, this is Braelynn Wolf and Gustavo Ortiz.” Peyton gestured to us.
“Hi.” I forced a smile and shook her hand. Her smile was the same as Peyton’s. “Braelynn,” I introduced myself.
“Spencer Haas McAlister.” She shook my hand firmly and smiled again.
“Pleasure to meet you,” Gus said.
The hostess approached, calling Gus and me to our table. I smiled politely and walked past them, mentally thanking my legs for working.
My foot tapped against the wood floor of the restaurant, and I cracked my knuckles over and over as I waited for the wine I’d ordered. I was with him only two days ago. Was he lying when he said I was the only one he was seeing?
“So that’s the mysterious guy you’ve been seeing?” Gus asked. Bringing a piece of bread to his mouth, he watched me carefully. I nodded and my eyes began to fill with tears. I kept my head lowered. I hadn’t consumed enough alcohol yet to talk about this.
“Since the gala dinner?” he asked.
I nodded quickly once again. The waitress approached with our bottle of wine, and I drank the first glass in gulps before she even finished pouring Gus’s. As she filled my second glass, I looked over at him; it was time I came clean with my best friend.
“It was unexpected and I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”
Feeling more tears of hurt and anger form in my eyes, I pushed my chair back. “I need to use the restroom. I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” Needing a minute to breathe, I darted toward the restroom, leaving Gus alone and probably confused at the table. I couldn’t let Peyton see me cry.
I leaned my back against the closed stall door and cried out my nerves and anger, then breathed slowly to calm myself before I returned. I didn’t look at their table. I couldn’t stand to see them, and my heart wouldn’t be able to take it. I needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. Taking a credit card from my purse, I walked it over to the waitress. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I really need to leave,” I said with a shaky voice. “Whatever my friend ordered, please cancel it. Also, put a twenty percent tip on here for yourself and please bring me the receipt as soon as possible.”
I returned to Gus, picked up my glass from the table, and chugged the rest of my wine. “I fucked him and I fell for him. Hard. But I was just another woman to keep his bed warm, and it’s over, and I need to leave.” My voice cracked with each admission.
Gus took my hand in his, giving me his support.
Once the waitress gave me my receipt, I locked my arm around Gus and followed him out of Posh, not looking anywhere but at the ground. I felt my skin burning, and I knew his eyes were on me as we left.
The outside air provided the relief my lungs needed. Once Gus and I were a few blocks away from Posh, I leaned against a brick wall, breathing in and out, needing a few moments to catch my breath. Impending sobs got the better of me. Unable to control my heartache, I let the sobs and tears pour out of my body.
Braelynn
I sank to the ground and brought my knees close to my chest as Gus paced in front of me. Distraught by the recent events, I couldn’t move. I slammed my head against the wall once before I opened my eyes. Gus walked toward me with his head lowered, watching me. His head tilted to the side, a sad smile on his face. I couldn’t hide the pain I was feeling, or how much my heart hurt. I reached out my hand for him to pull me up, but he dropped down next to me instead, sitting to my right. I looked at him, confused.
The look in his eyes told me there was something he needed to get off his chest, something he needed to say. I slowly nodded my head for him to just let it out.
“Braelynn, you know I’ve been on your side since I met you, but for the past thirty minutes I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this whole thing. What were you thinking?”
Sniffling away my tears, I looked at the streetlight then back at him. “What?”
“You’re sitting on the ground crying, you fought with Kennedy—about him, I assume—and you risked your career … for what? For a man who clearly doesn’t care about you? He’s here with another woman.”
Shocked, I turned on him. “Are you seriously doing this now, Gus?”
“Baby girl, I stood here”—he pointed to the sidewalk—“watching you cry your heart out over this guy. Is he worth it? Is he worth your friendship, your career, everything you and your sister have worked for? Is he?”
I rose from the ground, growing angry with Gus. “Don’t.” I raised my palm at him. “I’ve already gotten that shit from Kennedy, and I don’t need it from you too.”
“Inside you said that you were just another woman, right? Since I’ve known you, you have never cried over a guy. ” He stood, meeting my eyes. “You said it was over, but based on the look in your eyes and the tears pouring down your face, it’s far from over, at least for you. So I ask again, is he worth it?”
“Wrap your head around whatever you want, Gus. I’m freaking human. Like everyone else I make mistakes, and the last thing I need right now is your judgment.” I turned and headed in a different direction.
“Braelynn!”
“When I need your opinion, I’ll ask for it.” I waved my hand in the air, not looking back at him.
I walked home, needing the long hike to clear my mind. My shitty week was now following me into my weekend. I opened the front door of the brownstone, my feet throbbing from the walk. Kicking my shoes off, I threw my purse on the couch and walked to the kitchen. I pulled open the empty freezer; it looked like Kennedy had eaten my last pint of ice cream. Bitch.
My leftovers were reheating in the microwave when I noticed a note on the island.
Crumpling the paper into a small ball, I huffed and tossed it in the garbage. “Real mature, Kennedy,” I said to the empty kitchen. She was refusing to be the first one to apologize.
I took my plate of leftovers to bed and was flipping through the channels when my phone chirped on the charger. Hoping it was Peyton, I jumped out of bed.
Mackenzie Adams
It was late for her to be texting me. I slid my finger across the screen, unlocking my phone. Excited and scared about what she might want, I read the message.
Mackenzie Adams: Hey. Can we meet? I need to talk to you.
Me: Hi. Yeah, when?
Mackenzie Adams: Saturday? Lunch? Johnny Boy’s? It’s right around the corner from Shakes.
Me: Okay. Is 2:00 good?
Mackenzie Adams: Yeah.
I contemplated texting her back, asking why she wanted to meet, but I didn’t want to scare her off again. She had reached out to me, not the other way around. I should have been excited to meet up with her, but due to recent events, all I cared about was hiding in my room. My phone buzzed again, this time with a message from Gus.
Gustavo Ortiz: Hey. Did you get home okay?
Me: Yes.
Not wanting to think any more, I crawled under my covers and hugged my pillow, watching TV until my eyelids became heavy.
Braelynn
I woke up early Friday morning, and the lack of food in my fridge gave me no choice but to go to the market. I had taken time off work since I needed some time to study for the bar. I also wanted to go over Natasha’s case a couple more times, especially since I was meeting with Mackenzie the next day. I wanted to know and remember everything about Drew. Professor Goldstein had given me the day off, but had asked me to drop some briefs off to him at the courthouse since Victoria had taken a long weekend.
After I was showered and dressed, and with my travel coffee mug in hand, I headed to the market. This was usually something Kennedy did because I despised food shopping. I was never a person who could just run in, get what I needed, and then leave. I was the type of shopper who walked up and down every single aisle. I also couldn’t just go to the closest market because
Whole Foods was the only place that carried my favorite flavor of Talenti sorbet.
My cart was filled with unnecessary junk food items, but I still refused to skip a single aisle. I was eating my emotions—cookies, cakes, soda, chips, ice cream—but I was missing Nutella. I was a firm believer that Nutella soothed all pain.
The wheels on the cart squeaked when I stopped short near the hazelnut spread. I was debating which size jar I wanted when a tap on my shoulder interrupted my train of thought. With the hazelnut spread in my hand, I turned and my breath caught in my lungs. The woman from last night, the one who had been attached to Peyton’s arm, was standing before me.
My hair was tossed in a messy bun, and my flared jeans had been washed so many times they were faded—but at least I was wearing a cute The Elephant in the Room concert T-shirt. She, of course, looked flawless. A perfect smile appeared on her face.
“Devon King.” She stretched her perfectly manicured hand out to me.
Bile rose in my throat at her name; she was the only real relationship Peyton had ever had.
Unable to speak, I looked down at her hand, then back up at her. Turning, I began to push my cart farther down the aisle, but she jogged past me, her designer heels clicking on the floor. She rested both of her hands on my cart, stopping me in my tracks.
“Braelynn, right?” she asked, her eyebrow rising when my name left her mouth. “I thought that was you who walked in.” Her Birkin bag sat high on her shoulder. What was I thinking, getting involved with someone like Peyton? He was out of my league and on a different playing field, based on the bitch standing in front of me. There was no way I could compete with someone like her. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her makeup looked like it was airbrushed on. I found myself jealous of her beauty. Any last shred of graciousness I had was lost as the seconds passed.
“What is it to you?” I finally answered.
“You’re the new fuck buddy, I assume?” Her tongue ran softly along her bottom lip, leaving her lip-gloss even shinier.
“Excuse me?” Taken aback, I narrowed my eyes at her. I squeezed the handle of the cart for support as rage crawled up my spine. I was going to have no problem clawing this bitch’s eyes out. I wasn’t his fuck buddy.
“Oh, sweetie, it was written all over your face the second you realized who I was. Clearly he’s told you about us.” She brought her index finger to her lip. “How does he say it again? Ah yes, we wanted different things. Right?”
Her words stung, but I kept it together. “You must have me confused with Sammie.”
She laughed before her face turned serious. “Oh, no. Sammie may not be as intelligent as you are, but she serves her purpose. Keeps tabs for me on all the women that come into his life, and of course, she fucks him on a regular basis to make sure he doesn’t stray too far.” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “Until he’s ready to settle down with me.”
I stood there in the middle of aisle six, stunned, and watched her every move. Jealousy was something I had never experienced until recently. I envied Devon—her perfection, her beauty, that she was with the man I wanted most. A man I could never have.
“Did you really think he would marry someone like you?” She tilted her head to the side, pity splashed on her face.
“Like me?” All the manners Loren and Jennifer had embedded in me were gone. I pushed the cart toward her. “Listen, bitch. You don’t know anything about me.”
“An orphan from Idaho who moved across the country with her sister. And a housekeeper. I know everything about you. I mean yes, I can credit you for making something of yourself, but honey, you come from nothing, you are nothing, and you’ll always be nothing. Peyton Haas McAlister will never fall in love with nothing.”
My knuckles brightened to white on the handle bar, and my heart pounded in my chest, each beat shattering it further. I had nothing to defend myself from her; my eyes glassed over. “It’s different between us.”
She released the cart and walked over to me, invading my personal space as she crossed her arms over her perfect chest. “Aw, you think that you’re different. That’s sweet. Let me guess … he fucked you in his bedroom and said you were the first woman who’d ever slept there, huh?” She laughed softly, walking away from me.
My heart dropped when the words left her mouth. I wasn’t different to him. I was the same as everyone else that he’d been with.
Devon confirmed that I was merely another conquest.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Braelynn,” she called from behind. “Oh, and he would never date a fat chick. You should really lay off the junk food.”
I bowed my head, breathing slowly. I couldn’t make a scene. I wouldn’t. When the sound of her heels was a faint echo, I pushed the cart as fast as I could toward the freezer section. I worked out for a reason—so I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted.
After I paid the cashier, I took a spoon from the food station and threaded my arms through the handles of my grocery bags. I pulled the lid off my Talenti and stabbed my spoon into the center of the velvety stress reliever.
Uptight bitch!
I unpacked the groceries and changed into a light sundress as the temperature outside had risen drastically since this morning. My tote carried my life: the briefs I needed to give to Howard and my study materials for the bar exam.
I took a cab to the courthouse so I wouldn’t be late. My legs pushed against the steps two at a time, my toes securing my flip-flops as I went. Inside the courthouse, the cool air soothed my warm skin. I found Howard and the associates deep in conversation. Not wanting to disturb them, I pulled the briefs from my bag and quietly walked the files over to him. Howard smiled pleasantly and nodded, mouthing, “Thank you.”
I’d turned on my heel and was heading toward the exit when my heart began to flutter. The cool air suddenly felt hot as his fingers laced around the upper part of my arm, directing me to follow him. I looked behind me to see if anyone had seen us, wanting to shout for help, but my voice was no longer working.
He led us to an empty stairwell and shoved the door open, pushing me inside like a rag doll. My back found the farthest wall as he stood with his covering the door. Anyone could walk in and find us, but it didn’t seem to concern him. His black suit hugged him perfectly as he crossed his arms. I focused on my anger and not his appearance.
I inhaled deeply as I pushed off the wall. Crossing my arms, I waited for Peyton to say something—anything—to make the pain in my chest stop. When seconds had passed and he still hadn’t said anything, I sighed.
“Well? What do you want?”
He closed the gap between us with a few long strides and pushed me against the wall as his hands found my hair and his lips came down on mine. The anger I felt for him temporarily dissipated. His tongue licked my lips, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. My mouth opened for him, and a whimper escaped my throat as his tongue invaded my mouth. The cold wall flat on my back and Peyton’s firm body pushing into mine … both were hugging me in that moment. His hand held my face, and with each stroke of his tongue, my lips glided along his.
You are nothing.
Placing my hands on his chest, I pushed him away with all my might. “Don’t!” I yelled. Tears crept into my eyes. “You can’t keep doing this to me. I’m not just another notch on your belt. Stay away from me.”
“Stay away from you? The way you kissed me doesn’t seem like you want me to stay away. You’re the one who showed up here,” Peyton argued, his hands pressed against the wall on both sides of my face, caging me in.
“I came for Howard, not you! And let me remind you, I didn’t pursue you. I didn’t follow you or show up at your job. You came after me, even after I told you repeatedly that we shouldn’t.” I pushed on his chest again. “Why? Because you were bored with your current piece of ass, or was Devon simply out of town?” Once more I tried to push him, but he didn’t budge.
“Devon? What does she have to do with anything?” His brows fu
rrowed as he shook his head. “And I’m not looking to make you another notch on my belt.” He smiled. “You’ve already done that.”
“Fuck you,” I spat before trying to get around him.
He held me in place, bringing his body closer to mine. “Look, I’m sorry for the things I said to you at your house. I’m not here to play games with you, Lynn. I don’t chase women, but I also can’t seem to let you go, and that fucks with me.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. He was hot and cold, and I didn’t know where he was going with this.
His eyes changed in a second. He was hurt. Though he tried to hide it, his eyes told me a different story. “Is this a game for you?” he questioned. Still I said nothing. “Get info on the defendant by fucking around with his lawyer? Was that it? Answer me that at least.” He pushed off the wall, releasing me as his hands ran through his hair.
“No.” I wiped the tears from my face. I didn’t want him to think what I felt for him was a game. “What I feel for you is real. I was doing the best I could to keep the case and us separate. You knew that. You wanted that. I never asked you about Drew or what you were working on. The few times we were together were about us, not our jobs. I tried to push you away. I tried to stay away.”
I paced the empty landing before I looked at him, needing him to understand. “I practically stalked those women, expecting them to confide in me, wanting to prove to everyone that I’m somebody, that I know what I’m doing. That I’m going to be a good lawyer.”
I ran my hands under my eyes, wiping my tears. “I dropped my clothes for you against my better judgment. I did things I never thought possible because of you, constantly ignoring the thought that this could ruin my career. I watch my phone, waiting for you to call or text. When the doors open in an elevator, I pray that it’s you coming in. My world has become you. I can’t breathe or focus on my job because I’m waiting for you. It’s as if you possess me … my judgment, my thoughts. You own me, Peyton. I’m yours. I belong to you.”
Consensual Page 19
