I placed a hand on my bare thigh and slid it under my dress.
That movement got his attention. He shot me a glance out of the corner of his eyes, then did a full double take.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Eyes on the road," I admonished.
He did as I said, the leather of the steering wheel squeaking even further as his hands clenched.
I shifted until my panties were just peeking out under my skirt. I ran a hand up my inner thigh and let out a small, pleased noise.
A muscle in Nathan's jaw twitched.
I cupped myself between my legs, fingers gently resting at the apex of my thighs. I ran my middle finger in a small circle and gasped quietly.
"Shit, Becca…" Nathan bit out.
I pressed down harder and let out a stifled moan. He made a choking sound in the back of his throat.
"Remember what I told you during Two Truths and a Lie?" I asked him.
He swallowed hard. "You can make yourself come in under a minute."
"Would you like a demonstration?"
"Fuck yes."
I closed my eyes, summoning all the sexy mental images I used to get myself off when I was in bed at night, alone and lonely.
Before, generic hot guys and celebrities filled my imagination. This time Nathan and his sandy blond hair and deep blue eyes featured prominently.
I rubbed gently at first, warming myself up.
I pictured the two of us together during that one amazing night, remembering everything he'd made me feel, feeling the phantom touch of his fingers.
I pressed harder, grinding into my hand.
I pictured what might happen between the two of us tonight, imagined feeling his fingers and his tongue and his stiff length moving inside me.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I found just that one perfect spot, lifting my hips and touching myself just so…
I gasped out loud, voice strangled, as I fell over the edge. It wasn't as intense as it had been when Nathan had made me come, but it did the job.
I slumped back down, breathing heavily. I let my muscles go weak, reclining against the back of the seat.
I looked over to Nathan. There were beads of perspiration at his hair line and a rising bulge in his tight jeans.
"You're killing me, gorgeous," he said.
The car screeched to a stop in the parking lot of his building. He quickly slammed on the parking brake, undid his seatbelt, and descended on me, devouring my lips. His hand buried itself in my hair, tugging me closer, mashing our mouth together in a warm, wet tangle.
"Fuck, that was hot," he murmured. "I need to see you come again. Now. And this time I want to be paying full attention."
We practically ran the entire way to the entrance of his building, taking advantage of the elevator ride to grope each other again, and finally fell through his front door.
"Bedroom," he demanded. "Now."
My heart beat a little thrill at the commanding tone. Nathan disappeared into the closet as I made my way to his bed. I sat on the edge, pulse hammering, not knowing what was going to happen next.
"Shirt off," he said, voice muffled through the closet.
I immediately pulled off my t-shirt and threw it over my head. I took off my bra, too, expecting that was going to be the next command.
"Lie back," Nathan told me as he exited the closet, holding a bag in his hands. His nostrils flared when he saw me sitting there, topless, my breasts on display. His greedy eyes roved over me, his dark blue eyes deepening even future. "Put your arms above your head and hold onto the headboard."
Nervous excitement fluttered in my belly as I did so. It was almost scary, but electrifying at the same time.
Nathan climbed onto the bed, crawling between my spread legs. His eyes turned curious when his fingers skimmed along my torso, finding my scars again.
"I felt these the first night we were together," he murmured. "I didn't want to ask. From your surgeries?"
I nodded.
He placed a soft kiss on each of my scars, long since healed. I shivered. He ran his palms up my sides, along my arms, until he had both my wrists trapped in one hand.
He stared down into my eyes.
"Do you trust me?" he asked.
"Yes," I breathed.
"The safe word is red. Slow down is yellow. Green means keep going. Got it?"
I wet my lips and nodded, showing him I understood. If I wanted to stop at any time, I just had to say the word red and he would.
Clink.
My hands were bound in black velvet lined handcuffs.
He held up the blindfold, silently asking me. That nervous excitement tipped more towards the nervous end of the scale. I nodded again, and he wrapped the soft fabric around my head, until all I could see was darkness. I closed my eyes, chest rising and falling heavily.
Nathan tugged on my skirt, ridding me of it. I shimmied my hips, helping him. I was now almost naked and tied up, while he was still fully dressed. I'd never felt so vulnerable.
I'd never felt so turned on.
I felt Nathan shift on the bed, leaning back. He didn't do anything for long moments. I had to imagine he was staring at me. Drinking me in. Planning his next move.
"Now what?" I asked, voice only slightly shaky.
"Now I get back at you for teasing me."
My heart thumped heavily.
He hadn't been planning his next move.
He'd been plotting his revenge.
A soft kiss was placed on my cheek, warm and sweet. Nathan's lips moved down, brushing along my neck. He continued down to my collarbone, and then to the swell of my breasts, peppering kisses everywhere. I relaxed down into the bedding, feeling cherished and cared for.
Nathan sucked a nipple into his mouth. I gasped out loud, bucking against him in surprise. He nibbled gently with his teeth, alternating between nipping and sucking. I writhed against him, wanted to bury my hands in his hair, but unable to move them.
Long before I was satisfied, he switched to my other breast, giving it the same attention. The sensation went straight to my core, heating me up from the inside.
Again, he stopped before I had my fill. He kissed along my ribcage to my stomach. He dipped his tongue into my belly button. I squealed. He blew a cold breath into it. I shivered. It was like he knew every spot on my body, making me respond in just the right away.
His tongue trailed down my lower belly, until his nose was at the elastic of my panties. My muscled clenched, waiting, wanting.
He shifted back up to cover me with his body and pressed another kiss to my other cheek.
I groaned as he repeated the familiar pattern on my other side, a slow, torturous process. Every firm press of his lips only reminded me of other places he could be paying attention to.
Over and over it went, soft kisses and gentle bites, all over my skin, except for the one place I was dying to receive his touch.
I squirmed against him as he once again went back to my cheek.
"Nathan…" I whined.
"Yes?" he asked in a low voice.
"I need more."
"Hm, I don't know," he drawled. "You were pretty mean back there, touching yourself when you knew I couldn't do anything but sit and listen to you moan."
"You know you loved it."
He hummed, darkly amused. "I did love it. I suppose maybe I should stop being so mean to you and give you what you want."
"God, yes, please."
Nathan left me for a brief moment, only long enough to pull off my panties. He returned to the bed, kneeling between my legs. He spread my thighs wider, baring all of me to his sight. I could feel his eyes on me, fixated on my core. I could just imagine them burning with a fiery hunger and I longed to see it, but the blindfold made it impossible.
He waited for moments too long, making my insides ache and swell.
"Please," I begged. "I need…"
Before I could finish, he darted down and sucked my clit into his mouth. I shrieke
d, head thumping back against the pillows, hands fisting in their restraints. I wanted to grab his head and grind against him but I couldn't move. It was infuriating. It was exhilarating. Too many thoughts and emotions swirled inside me and I suddenly realized the appeal of this bondage thing.
If he'd been teasing before, he'd certainly stopped. He sucked and twirled and licked and gave his utmost attention to the most sensitive part of me. I thrashed back and forth, breath coming in fits and starts. It was almost too much, the sensations almost painful even as I lost myself in pleasure.
I was close, so close. I just needed a bit more…
And then he pressed down with his tongue while sucking hard and I came, stars exploding across my eyes. All my muscles locked down, my body tensing as I rode it out. Nathan didn't stop, just kept working me through it.
Finally, the pleasure subsided, but he kept going.
"Stop," I groaned. "I can't take any more."
But he continued his ministrations, not giving me a moment to recover.
"Stop, stop!" I half-yelped, half-giggled as I squirmed against him. "It's too much."
Then I remembered.
"Red!" I shrieked. "Red red red!"
He stopped, pulling away. I let out a choked sigh, feeling relieved but also deprived. If it weren't for my stupid body becoming too sensitive, I would have let him continue for hours.
Nathan came to rest against me, pressing up against my sweat-glistened skin. He traced a finger along my wrists.
"How did you enjoy that?" he asked.
I couldn't see his expression through the blindfold, but I could hear the smug, self-satisfied smile. I couldn't blame him for it. That had been amazing, and I told him as much.
"You're the amazing one." He gently uncuffed my hands and removed the blindfold. I blinked, my eyes getting used to the light again. When I could focus, I saw Nathan staring at me. That hunger was there, just as I'd imagined, but it was muted, less rabid.
"Watching you squirm against my tongue is the hottest thing I've ever seen," he said.
I flushed, more pleased with myself than I probably should have been.
"So how did you enjoy the handcuff thing?" he asked.
"I really liked it," I said. "Not knowing what you were going to do next, not being able to touch you… it was hot in a weird way. But next time I want to watch you. Or—" I gave him an evil smirk. "Maybe next time you can be the one in handcuffs."
His eyes narrowed in amusement. "Would you like that?"
I paused. "I don't know, actually. But I've been experimental enough for now. Let's save that for later."
Nathan nodded and cuddled me to his chest.
"Can you stay the night?" he asked. "Or will your parents worry?"
An awkward feeling came over me. "I told them I was going to have an early night after my shift," I said. "They probably think I'm already in bed."
Nathan waited a beat. "They still don't know about me, do they?"
I hesitated. "No," I finally said. "I don't want them to worry."
"Do you think they wouldn't approve of me?" he asked.
I wondered if this was going to be the "I want to meet your parents" conversation. I was surprised Nathan was the one who'd brought it up first.
"Bringing home a tattooed rock star is definitely something they'd never expect from me," I said. "It might give them grey hairs."
"I'm not saying we all need to sit down for a family dinner together," Nathan said, shooting down my original thought. "I just don't like the idea of you lying to your parents."
"Wouldn't be the first time."
"You keep a lot of things from them, don't you?"
"I just don't want them to worry. It puts too much strain on their marriage, and that's rocky to begin with."
"I get that," Nathan said. "But maybe you should consider just talking to your parents. Telling them how you feel. If they worry and if it makes them fight more, that's on them, not on you."
"I suppose."
"You could start with telling them you're seeing someone," Nathan said. "You don't have to mention me specifically. I just feel bad, like you're sneaking around behind their backs. Makes me feel like a jerk."
"I never wanted you to feel that way." I squirmed out of his embrace until I could look him in the eyes. "I'll tell them I'm seeing someone. Okay?"
A small smile appeared on his face. "I think that's a really good start."
"If I do that, will you do something for me?" I asked,
"Of course," he said.
"Talk to your band about your mom."
Nathan froze.
"I think it's important for you to have that emotional support," I continued.
"I can't," he said automatically. "I can't let anything distract them from our work."
"If it does, that's on them, not on you," I echoed.
"I don't know," he said doubtfully.
"Please think about it?" I asked.
"Okay," he said reluctantly. "As long as you think about telling your parents."
"I will. I promise."
I had no idea how my parents would react to knowing I was seeing someone. It had been a fight to get them to accept my first boyfriend, and look how all that turned out. Some boy had hurt their precious baby girl. I didn't want to imagine how they'd react if Nathan showed up at the front door, all tattoos and leather and fancy sports car.
Maybe it would be fine. Maybe they would be happy for me.
But in the back of my mind, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be that easy.
21
Sunlight hitting my naked skin roused me from sleep, a contrast to the cool sheets I was tangled in.
This time when I woke up in Nathan's apartment, I wasn't confused or disoriented. I awoke feeling lazy, relaxed and content.
Nathan was next to me, still deep asleep. I shifted carefully, so as not to wake him up. I leaned on my elbow, staring at the sandy-blond hair falling over his cheeks and covering his closed eyelids. His lips were slightly parted, pink and utterly kissable. He looked so innocent.
The handcuffs and blindfold on his nightstand belied that image.
I didn't know how long I laid there, watching him sleep. Long enough for fuzzy butterflies to fill my stomach. Also, long enough for my bladder to complain.
I eventually slipped out of bed, grabbing a spare pair of Nathan's boxers and a t-shirt to get cleaned up. The purple toothbrush I had used before was in the cup next to his blue one. It was so domestic. Those warm fuzzies exploded into near giddiness.
As I stepped into the shower, I made a mental note not to get ahead of myself. That Nathan and I were seeing each other had been agreed upon, but that didn't necessarily mean we were anything more serious. Certainly, the words boyfriend and girlfriend hadn't yet touched his lips.
Before, I hadn't known if I'd wanted them to. I'd been so conflicted. But now, after having talked to him, those fears inside me had quieted. I was going to stop worrying and fretting. I was going to enjoy my time with him.
I would take things one day at a time.
After I'd gotten dressed in Nathan's clothes, I started to make my way to the kitchen. I stopped when I saw a door in the hallway half-ajar. I'd assumed it was a closet, but through the crack I could see a leather sofa and a guitar in its stand.
I poked my head in further. The room didn't just have one guitar. There were more than half a dozen, in all different styles and colors. Three were acoustic. I found myself drawn to those, with those shiny wood finishes. I went up to one and plucked at a string. It reverberated with a deep thrum. I quickly pressed my palm to the strings to quiet it, not wanting to wake Nathan yet.
The leather sofa looked overstuffed and comfy, and there were pages of music sheets scattered across a coffee table.
This must have been his music room, where Nathan wrote his songs. In the early morning quiet, the room felt oddly sacred.
I stayed a few more moments, soaking in the atmosphere, before leaving and closi
ng the door behind me. I didn't want to disturb anything, and I didn't know how Nathan would feel about me being in there. Maybe he didn't like anybody else in his work space. Although I wanted to explore more, I also didn't want to invade his privacy.
I glanced toward the bedroom. Nathan was still sound asleep, although he'd tossed the sheets aside and his naked backside was visible.
I wasn't ashamed to admit I spent some time admiring the view.
Since he was still dead to the world, I decided I would repay his favor from last time and make him breakfast. After downing my morning meds with a glass of water from the tap, I started exploring food options. When I opened his fridge, I was almost surprised with how much I had to work with. The choice was overwhelming. He'd made scrambled eggs last time so I figured it was a safe bet.
As I cracked the eggs, whisked them and poured them into the frying pan, I kept replaying the previous night's events in my head.
I'd never experienced something like that before. I'd never thought someone like me ever would. After my first boyfriend, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of relationships. Trusting anyone enough to let them tie me up was out of the question.
But everything was different with Nathan.
The smell of something burning distracted me from my thoughts. I looked down at the pan to see the eggs smoking. I hurried to remove them from the stove and turn down the heat, but it was too late.
"Dammit," I groaned. I'd ruined what was supposed to be a thoughtful breakfast in bed.
Arms hugged me from behind and soft lips placed a kiss on my neck. Nathan's rich, earthy smell surrounded me. He hadn't showered yet, but I loved that sleep-warmed scent. I inhaled deeply, taking it in, immediately relaxing.
"Did you burn breakfast?" he teased.
"Sorry," I replied, crestfallen. "I was going to surprise you."
He laughed and squeezed my middle. "You're sweet."
"I never had to learn to cook," I said. "I guess I sort of suck."
"Then you can leave the cooking to me. I learned from the best."
"Your mom?" I guessed.
"Before she got sick, she used to make me watch her in the kitchen. Then, with the cancer…" he trailed off sadly. "Anyway. I got used to cooking for her."
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