I smiled to myself. "Yeah. I'm sure."
"Well, okay, then."
My dad straightened up and cleared his throat. I let go of my mom and went back to take Nathan's hand. My dad eyed the two of us, as if sizing up the new man in my life. He didn't look entirely convinced, but there was no outright hostility, which was more than I could have hoped for.
"Mr. Walker," my dad said with a nod. Nathan went stiff, his palm going clammy. I think he realized that, now that my portion of the evening was over, it was time for his parental interrogation.
"You know my little girl is special," my dad began.
Nathan nodded, squeezing my hand tight.
"And I won't let just anyone into her life…"
"You don't get to make that choice for me, Dad," I interrupted, but my dad talked over me.
"I need to make sure you really understand what a relationship with my daughter is going to mean."
"Of course, sir," Nathan said solemnly.
"You know about her defect?" he asked. "You know about her surgeries?"
"She needed a hole in her heart repaired when she was a baby," he said immediately. "Then they needed to give her a valve transplant."
"And you're aware of her need for regular replacements?"
"Yes. Her valve isn't a permanent one because it's not the best option for her. Something about blood thinners…?" he trailed off.
My dad nodded. "Continue."
"Organic valves have shorter life spans so they need to be replaced. And the doctors constantly monitor her health to see when that needs to happen."
"And what about when you want to have children?"
"Dad!" I cried out. "That's a little too soon to ask about, don't you think?"
"No, it's okay, I read about that, too," Nathan said.
I gaped. "You did?"
"Well, I'm not talking about any time soon, but…" he gave me a soft smile before turning back to my dad. "I'm aware of the complications when it comes to having kids. Women with Becca's condition can have successful pregnancies, but there is definitely a higher risk. Sometimes they get their valves replaced with a brand new one before trying, preemptively. They need to be monitored much more because of that high risk. Sometimes it's safer to look into surrogates."
My dad made a noise in the back of his throat. I hoped it was a pleased or impressed noise. To be honest, I was impressed myself. Nathan really had been looking into this.
The pregnancy thing, though…
My ears burned at having had that conversation in front of my parents.
"You have done your research," my dad said, conceding. I could audibly hear Nathan's relieved sigh.
"If you're going to be a part of this family, we should get to know each other," my dad said. "No skulking around and sneaking in through the back door. Deal?"
The both of us flushed. Clearly Nathan hadn't been as discreet as he'd thought. I was astonished to think my dad knew about him and hadn't said anything to my mom about it.
"Why don't we all have dinner tonight?" my dad suggested. "We can talk about your surgery and what help you'll need and how we'll manage all that."
"Not yet," I said. They all looked at me. "There's something Nathan and I need to do first."
Nathan looked at me, confused.
"I'm going to call Jessie and ask her to bring Gael to the hospital," I said.
Nathan's face went pale with panic as he began to understand what I meant.
"I was truthful with my family," I told him. "Now you're going to be truthful with yours."
35
Nathan and I stood outside his mom's hospital room. Helen was napping and we didn't want to disturb her, but we figured the best way to explain to Gael was to show him.
"I don't know about this." Nathan was nervously tapping his fingers together in a familiar rhythm. It sounded like the song he'd played for me on his acoustic guitar.
"Everything will be fine," I reassured him. "Your band is like family. Gael is your best friend. He would want to know. He wouldn't want you keeping secrets from him."
Nathan snorted. "Yeah. He's going to be pissed I didn't tell him earlier."
"Only because he's worried about you," I countered. "They all are."
"I thought I'd managed to hide it pretty well," he said, shame-faced. "The last thing I wanted to do is to worry them, and that's exactly what happened anyway."
"It's going to be all right, I promise. They'll understand."
A shuffling of soft sneakers echoed down the hallway. A young woman in a t-shirt and messy bun was walking toward us. It was Jessie, looking more like the girl I'd met at the party and less like the biker chick she'd been dressed up as at the pet shop. I wished I could pull off both looks as effortlessly as she did.
"Gael's on his way," she said. "He stopped to give an autograph to someone."
Probably Nancy, I snickered to myself.
Jessie looked at Nathan with concern. "I don't know what's going on because Becca wouldn't say, but please tell me we're not in the hospital because you're dying."
She said it as a half-joke, but I could tell there was a real fear in her eyes.
"No," Nathan said. "I'm perfectly fine." He flicked his eyes over Jessie's shoulder. He tensed up.
Gael was striding toward us, a smug grin on his face. Jessie had said he had a big ego. He probably loved getting stopped by random fans. When he saw me and Nathan standing there with Jessie, his face mirrored her concern.
"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" he asked. "We've been wondering what the fuck's been going on with you, and now you're asking to meet me at the hospital?"
I squeezed Nathan's cold and shaky hand.
"It's my mom," he said without wasting words. "She's in the hospital because she might be sick. Cancer. They've been doing tests."
Gael and Jessie's mouthed popped open. Sympathy crossed their faces.
"I am so sorry, man," Gael said. He clapped Nathan on the shoulder and kept his hand there. He brought Nathan in close. "Whatever you need, we're here for you."
"Thanks," Nathan muttered. He shook his head. "Anyway. That's why I've been sneaking off all the time."
"And here I thought you were getting some with Becca over here." Gael jabbed a thumb at me with a knowing smirk.
I flushed, then straightened my back.
"It was some of that, too," I said, not wanting to back down and wither under his teasing.
Gael looked surprised, then chuckled.
"I like her," he declared before turning serious again. "But why didn't you just tell me? Why did you keep it a secret?"
Nathan winced, averting his eyes.
"I might need to take some time off," he admitted reluctantly. "If it turns out to be cancer, I'm going to need to be with my mom. And I know we've got the tour coming up soon. I'd really fucking hate to miss it, but…" he shrugged helplessly, dismay on his face. "And I know how committed everyone is to the band. I didn't want to let you down. I was afraid that—" he cut himself off.
Gael looked at him, puzzled. "Afraid of what?"
"This isn't the first time," Nathan said. "My mom's gone through chemo twice already."
Jessie made a small, sad sound. "That poor woman."
"You know my old band?" Nathan said. "I didn't leave." He took in a slow breath. "I got kicked out."
"Those fuckers!" Gael burst out. "Did they really kick you out of the band because your mom got sick? What the hell! Who fucking does that?"
Gael's righteous indignation said enough. Nathan's tense muscles began to relax, relief spreading across his face. Gael noticed.
"Is that what you were worried about?" Gael asked, appalled. "Did you think we'd kick you out?"
Nathan murmured something indistinct.
Gael punched him hard in the arm.
"Ow!" Nathan yelped. "You asshole, what was that for?"
"You're the asshole," Gael retorted. "You really think I'd ditch you? You should know me better
than that."
"But what about the tour?" Nathan asked.
Gael made a face. "Yeah, that's going to suck, not having you there with us. But," Gael shrugged, "if you've got to be with your mom, then that's that. We'll get someone to fill in temporarily. They won't be as good as you, but that just means Liam will have to pick up the slack."
"You're really okay with this?" Nathan asked.
"Fuck no," Gael said bluntly. "It sucks your mom is sick. It sucks you might have to miss the tour. Playing with some random stranger is going to be weird. But we're not kicking you out of the band, and we're not going to make you abandon your mom if she needs help."
Nathan's mouth quivered before he pressed his lips in a firm line, but his eyes were bright and shiny.
"Aw, man, come here." Gael pulled Nathan into one of those bro half-hugs. "You know you're stuck with us," he said. "Just like we're stuck with you."
Nathan wrapped his arm around Gael's shoulder and returned the hug.
"Thank you," Jessie whispered to me.
"It was nothing," I said. "After what you told me, I knew Nathan had to come clean. It was killing him having to keep it from you, and I knew he'd need the emotional support. He really loves Gael. He loves the band."
"And what about you?" Jessie said. "Do you love Nathan?"
"Yes," I said without hesitation. "And he loves me."
Jessie gave me a bright smile.
"I'm glad he has someone," she said. "I know it hurt him, me and Gael being together. It's important that he has someone to lean on."
I thought back to what Nathan had said that time during our drinking game. He was happy for Gael, happy that he'd found someone to be his rock. Someone he could rely on.
Nathan had spent so much of his childhood taking care of someone else.
I had spent so much of my childhood being taken care of.
Now it was my turn to be the rock.
Gael and Nathan pulled away from each other, their eyes no longer glistening. They were laughing together and calling each other names. Everything was back to normal.
Well. Most things.
"Becca and I have to run," Nathan told them. "We've got dinner plans with her parents later on tonight."
Gael whistled. "Damn, good luck with that."
"I'm going to be on my best behavior," Nathan promised solemnly, putting his hand over his heart.
"Do you even know what good behavior is?" Gael asked.
"I'm sure Becca will guide me," Nathan said.
"Just don't mention getting drunk at raging house parties, trashing hotel rooms or the fact that you're nailing their daughter, and you'll be fine," I said.
"Damn, what else is there to talk about?" Nathan pretended to lament.
They all laughed and we parted ways. As we drove back to my place, Nathan was oddly quiet.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Just thinking."
"That can't be good."
"No, it's all good. I'm just grateful you convinced me to talk to Gael. And I'm grateful you wanted me to meet your parents. I'm grateful you were so nice to my mom even though you had no idea who she was. I'm just…" He gave me a soft smile. "I'm just really glad I met you."
My heart swelled.
"Me too," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "And I'm grateful you invited me to that concert. I'm grateful you wanted to show me all the things I missed out on."
"And there's so many more things I still want to show you."
"You mean sexy things?"
He laughed. "Yes. Sexy things and more."
I slid my hand across the seat until it was resting on his thigh.
"Then maybe you can hurry up and get us home so you can show me."
36
I bunched the scratchy hospital blankets in my fists. My knuckles were turning white and my fingernails were biting into my palms through the material.
Nathan laid his hands over mine.
"Hey," he said. "It's going to be okay."
I nodded silently, my fists still clenched.
He brought one hand to my cheek, forcing me to look at him. His deep blue eyes were soft and loving. His palm was warm. I pressed my cheek into it.
"I'll be here right up until you go in." Nathan slid his hand from my face to cup the back of my head. His fingers sifted through the strands, soothing me. I closed my eyes, my fists releasing their tight grip on the blankets.
I heard the nurse come in. My eyes popped open and my heart rate immediately jumped up. I knew what was coming next.
"They're going to put in an IV," I told him. "Are you sure you want to watch this?"
"I won't be watching that," he said, gazing into my eyes. "I'll be watching you and your pretty face."
Out of the corner of my eye I could practically see the nurse swooning. I hoped she recovered enough before shoving a tube into my arm.
She handed me a paper cup with pills in them. "Swallow these, please, miss."
"What's that?" Nathan asked.
"It'll make her feel drowsy," the nurse said. "It will help ease some of her anxiety and it will help when the anesthesiologist puts her under."
Nathan's massaging hand on the back of my neck also helped calm me. Just having him there was easing my anxiety.
Up until now, I'd been trying not to think about the surgery, throwing myself into my work and my volunteering. Still, in the back of my mind, there was a constant nagging, reminding me I was going under the knife again.
Tracey was worried for me, but of course she understood. She'd tried to make light of it and mock-sighed that she'd have to get Nancy to help her with the party, even though she wasn't as organized as I was. I wondered how Nancy would feel about getting roped into helping. Hopefully, she'd be more enthusiastic than I'd been.
My boss at the pet shop had been surprisingly understanding. When I explained why I needed the time off, he'd immediately offered to give my shifts away to the others and said to take as much time as I needed. Knowing my job would be there for me when I got back was one less thing to worry about.
"I'm really grateful to your parents," Nathan said. "I wasn't sure they would let me be the one to accompany you. I know how difficult it is to be on the outside, just waiting for news."
"They freaked out at first," I told him. "They didn't think you'd be able to handle it. They didn't want to let me out of their sight until the very last second. But I told them I wanted you with me. I told them it would make me feel better having you by my side."
"And they listened." He grinned. "You think maybe they're going to start treating you like an adult from now on?"
"Baby steps. I'll take it for now."
"The band told me to wish you good luck," he said. "Although I don't know if you're supposed to wish someone good luck with this kind of thing. Maybe it's supposed to be more like, break a leg?"
"That's nice of them."
"I'd hate to see what Gael and Julian think about being called nice."
"You always make it sound like a bad word."
"We prefer words more like cool or sexy or wild or sex god." His grin faded as he turned solemn. "Either way, they wanted you to know you'll be in their thoughts."
"So they all know about me?" I asked.
"I told them everything. They were all curious to know more about you, now that we're officially back together."
"I'd like to get to know them, too."
"And there we go," the nurse said.
I examined my arm. I'd barely even noticed her hooking me up.
She left promptly, but not before eyeing Nathan one more time.
"Your dad gave me a lecture about what to expect and how I'll be able to help you." He held up a bag with the clothes I'd changed out of when I slipped into the hospital gown. "Apparently it's my job to make sure your clothes are kept safe."
"It's an important job. That's my favorite shirt." I traced my fingers along the lines of his palms. "You've really impressed my parents. My dad won't say it out l
oud, but he actually likes you. I didn't think it would happen so soon."
"I'm surprised it happened at all," he said.
"I knew they'd love you if they got to know you. You're sweet and wonderful and thoughtful and amazing."
"I think you're describing yourself," he said, although I could see the tips of his ears turn red.
My head started to get a bit fuzzy and when I blinked, my eyelids stayed shut for a split second too long.
"I think the meds are kicking in," I told him.
"I'll be here the whole time," he promised.
I let my eyes close. I wasn't quite falling into sleep, but it helped with the dizziness.
After a few minutes, I heard someone else come in.
"It's time," they said.
Nathan squeezed my hand. I squeezed back weakly. He let go and they began wheeling me out.
I memorized his touch and carried it with me.
The hush of a quiet recovery ward was the first thing that registered. Soft voices, shuffling shoes, quiet beeps.
"Hey there, gorgeous," I heard someone say. "You awake?"
"Mmhm," I mumbled. I peeked my eyes open.
The most beautiful man I'd ever seen was hovering in front of me. Nathan. My boyfriend.
"Wow," I said. "You're really pretty."
"Talking about yourself again?" he teased.
I tried to shake my head back and forth and couldn't. My neck felt like rubber. "No, like, really pretty."
"Well, I think you're pretty, too," he replied with a stifled grin.
"Not pretty like a girl," I continued. "Pretty like… you. 'Cause you're really pretty."
He laughed and stroked my hair.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Um…" I took an inventory of my various aches. "Head feels woozy. I'm thirsty."
"I'm sorry," he said regretfully. "I don't think you're allowed fluids yet. And I can only be here for five minutes so I don't want to leave to track down a nurse and ask. You just got out of surgery a few hours ago."
"So that's why my chest hurts like hell."
He looked startled and began to stand up. "You're supposed to be on pain meds. Do you need more?"
"Maybe. But don't go."
Hard Rock Kiss Page 20
