She managed something of a smile. “Mrs. Haddington’s ambitions are rather obvious.”
“And perhaps more successful than I’d at first suspected.” Beth eyed her brother with open curiosity. “They do seem to enjoy each other’s company.”
They did. But, then, Miles was a very friendly person. Anyone would enjoy his company.
“She would be a very appropriate match for a marquess,” Elise said.
“Does it not seem odd that Miles, who spent his entire childhood jumping from one foolhardy scheme to another, is now a respected Peer of the Realm?” Beth asked.
“Your father would have laughed uproariously at the very idea.” Elise could easily picture that exact scene.
Their path crossed with Miss Haddington and Miles’s. Elise held tightly to her composure, not willing to let so much as a drop of envy show when she looked at Miss Haddington.
“Good afternoon,” their visitor greeted. “I see you had the same idea we did. It is, after all, a fine day for a walk.”
“And I do have a rather impressive garden,” Miles added with his usual laughing tone.
Elise watched him as the four of them engaged in a very commonplace conversation. His gaze didn’t linger on her any longer than anyone else. He spoke to Miss Haddington in the same friendly tone with which he spoke to Elise.
This was the first time they’d seen each other since he’d kissed her so deeply and, it had seemed to her, passionately. But nothing in his look, posture, or tone had changed in the least. She didn’t think he was quite so skilled at hiding his thoughts. She had certainly always been good at deciphering his feelings.
The kiss they’d shared had solidified her conviction that her heart belonged to Miles. He hadn’t, it seemed, undergone quite the same transformation. He was still entirely comfortable with her, still unfailingly friendly. But there was nothing beyond.
She and Beth continued on the path toward the house while Miles and Miss Haddington walked farther into the garden. Elise only allowed herself to look back once. Though she liked Miss Haddington, she didn’t at all care for the sight of her on Miles’s arm.
He might yet learn to love you. Hope isn’t lost.
Still, she did need to see to her future. “May I give you an answer in the morning?” she asked Beth.
“Of course.”
Elise would ponder it all that night and come to some conclusion, and she would do her best not to worry over Miles’s heart. Her own gave her enough to fret over.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Why are you cross with Mr. Jefferies?” Elise rolled onto her side to look at Miles. He was lying on his back on the grass in their meadow, hands beneath his head, staring up at the star-filled night sky.
Miles didn’t answer but made something like a shrug.
“Did he do something horrible, Miles?”
“No,” he said, though he seemed sorry that the answer wasn’t different. “Not horrible, exactly.”
“But you didn’t dislike him before. A person doesn’t suddenly dislike someone for no reason.”
“He was arguing with Father,” Miles said, bitterness obvious in his voice. In Miles’s anger, Elise heard pain as well. “He called him a fool.”
“Why would Mr. Jefferies say that?”
“I don’t know, but he did say it.” Miles turned his head enough to look at her. “He said, ‘I have offered you sound financial advice, Mr. Linwood. Only a fool would disregard it.’ To which Father said, ‘Then you must think me a fool.’ And Mr. Jefferies said, ‘I cannot think otherwise.’”
At eleven, Elise was not very experienced in matters of adult disagreements or the conversations between a man of business and his client. But she knew Miles, and he was upset. “I think Mr. Jefferies was saying your father acted foolishly, not that he was a fool.”
“It amounts to the same thing, Elise,” Miles grumbled.
“Do you think I am a fool?”
“Of course not.” His sincerity would have been obvious to anyone hearing his words. “Indeed, there are more than a few of my school chums who would be hard-pressed to hold their own in a battle of wits against you.”
“And yet, Miles, you have told me countless times over the years that I have acted foolishly. For example, the time I tried to climb from my bedchamber window using only a newly grown branch of ivy.”
“You could have killed yourself. That was remarkably foolish.”
She gave him her best think-that-over look.
Slowly, a smile spread across his face.
“Point taken,” he answered. “Now, if I promise to stop my grumbling, can we return to our stargazing?” His eyes had already returned to the sky.
“How long before you return to Eton, Miles?” Elise asked.
“Another week.”
Elise sighed. “I suppose that will have to do.”
“Have you missed me, then?” he asked.
“Terribly. I have been left here with only the companionship of our fathers, and as you know, one of them is a fool.”
Miles laughed quite heartily. One arm left its position beneath his head and snaked around her shoulders, squeezing them as he continued to chuckle. “There is no one like you in all the world, Elise.”
Lowering herself to the floor, Elise closed the lid of the music box with a sigh. So many memories had flowed over her in the weeks she’d once again been with Miles. Her entire life was entwined with his. She had hardly a memory that was not, in some way, connected to him.
And now she was leaving him again.
Their kiss had likely been something of a passing fancy for him. Gentlemen, her governess had once explained to her, do not, as a rule, put as much store by kissing as ladies do. That was, she’d been warned, the reason a gently-bred young lady did not kiss a gentleman with whom she did not have an understanding.
Beth’s offer of the Gilford dower house was, in all reality, a godsend. Given the state of her affections, she could not remain at Tafford if she knew that Miles saw her only as little Elise Furlong, the ragamuffin with whom he’d undertaken countless acts of mischief throughout their childhoods. She would always have his friendship, but distance would keep her unrequited love from turning painful.
It wasn’t as if she would never see Miles. She would be Beth’s nearest neighbor, after all. And she could certainly write to him.
Mrs. Ash had agreed to go to Lancashire with Anne and her. Elise had enough to pay her a very modest salary, though Mrs. Ash insisted she would come whether she was paid or not. Mama Jones, to Elise’s immense worry, had said quite emphatically that she would not uproot herself again.
“I love you, Ella. You know that. But these bones of mine are too tired and weary to be moved again.”
Mama Jones couldn’t be blamed. Elise knew she was more comfortable and content than she’d been in years. They both knew Miles would look after her. But Elise would miss her. She would miss them both. And Anne would lose two staunch allies.
“Have you not decided where to place any of it?”
Elise actually gasped at the sudden sound of Miles’s voice.
He laughed from the doorway behind her. Elise frantically ordered her cheeks not to heat and her heart not to pound so fiercely, but neither obeyed. In the next moment, Miles sat on the floor beside her.
She hoped her glance in his direction gave away none of her feelings. “I was not expecting company.”
“Am I unwelcome?” He did not look or sound as if he felt unwelcome.
Elise shook her head. He was not unwelcome in the least.
Miles glanced around the room that had for several days housed all of her inheritance. “You have a very unique collection here, Elise. What do you mean to do with it all?”
“Take it with me.”
He watched her more closely.
“The Langleys have offered me a home,” she explained.
“The Gilford dower house,” Miles said with a nod. “And you have decided to accept?”
“I have. It seems the best course of action.”
Only a creasing of his brow indicated the news had at all impacted him. “As much as I will miss you, I find myself forced to admit that it is the best option.” There was an intensity in his gaze that Elise found almost instantly uncomfortable. Was he displeased? Thinking through the logistics of the move? Were his thoughts on something else entirely?
“I do need to settle somewhere.” Elise voiced the arguments that had finally convinced her to accept the offer. “Anne needs stability in her life, and I cannot continue living in transition either. We need our own place.”
Miles nodded his agreement.
His easy acceptance of her departure brought a fresh wave of pain. Elise forced any evidence of heartbreak out of her expression.
“You realize, of course, you have to pay off your debt before you go.”
“My debt?” She was not aware she owed anyone money. Was it more than her modest income would cover? How had it been acquired?
Miles must have seen her anxiety. He reached out and touched her face. Good heavens. He had to stop doing that. Her heart couldn’t take it.
“You owe me a minuet,” he explained.
A sigh of relief forced its way through the constriction in her throat.
Miles opened the lid of the music box, rose to his feet, and extended his hand to her.
A dance with Miles. It would be yet another memory of him that would both haunt and comfort her in the years to come.
How she managed the steps without faltering Elise did not know. She had to fight tears and keep her expression light, all the while aching inside. Every time the movement of the dance required that Miles release her hand, Elise had to force herself to allow him to let go. As she curtsied to conclude the dance, she very nearly sobbed out loud. Perhaps dancing with Miles hadn’t been a good idea.
“I was certain you still remembered how,” Miles said, his voice unusually quiet.
“Yes. It seems you were right.”
“Well then.”
Elise bit down on her lips, unable and unwilling to reply. If she spoke, she very much feared she would confess all and ruin one of their final moments together before she left.
“How soon do you begin your journey to Lancashire?” His voice wasn’t quite steady, which she chose to see as a sign that he wasn’t quite as unaffected as he seemed.
“At the end of the week.”
Miles nodded. “And Mrs. Ash?”
“She will be coming with us.”
“And Mama Jones,” he said with obvious certainty.
“She wishes to remain here.” Elise knew that her unhappiness was evident in her voice but could not have prevented it. “You must promise you will look after her, Miles. I know you have given her so much already. But I will worry myself sick if I do not know she is being looked after.”
“Why does she not want to go?” Miles asked, obviously surprised.
“She is settled and happy here. The home you have given her is finer than any she’s ever known. For once, she doesn’t have to work her fingers to the bone. She said you promised she could stay there for the remainder of her life.”
“I did,” he confirmed.
“Her joints ache. She cannot work as she once did. And without me to take in mending and stitching and baking—”
“You did all of those things?” Why did he look so disturbed by that admission?
“I did what I had to in order to survive.” Elise felt suddenly defensive.
She turned away from him, closing the lid of the music box, though the music had long since unwound, and placed it inside a crate full of other belongings. She heard Miles sigh behind her.
“Oh, Elise. I didn’t mean to upset you. Honestly, I didn’t.” She felt Miles’s hands rest on her shoulders. How tempted she was to lean back against him. “Will you promise me one thing, Elise?”
She nodded.
“If you continue receiving letters, promise me you will tell Langley.”
“I will,” she answered quietly.
For an interminable moment, they stood just as they were—his hands on her shoulders, Miles standing behind her, neither speaking a word. Elise committed to memory the smell of him, the sound of his breathing, the feel of his hands holding her.
“You will be sure to tell me how you like your new home,” Miles quietly requested. “How Anne likes it.”
“Of course I will.” She felt like weeping. It was as close to a good-bye as she could imagine Miles coming without actually uttering the word. “And you will write to me?”
He hesitated only a moment, but it was enough to pierce her heart. “I will write.”
Conversation died between them, but still, he didn’t move away. His hands remained on her shoulders. Miles stood so close Elise could feel his breath rustle her hair.
“Elise,” Miles said in a whisper.
What would he say next? A good-bye? A plea for her to remain?
Miles didn’t say any more. After a moment, he left the room.
Chapter Thirty-Four
He was a mess. A complete and utter mess. Miles couldn’t seem to decide what to do with himself. He’d walked out to the stables earlier only to turn around and return to the house. He’d sat down with the estate ledgers and never accomplished a thing.
Elise was leaving.
Intellectually, Miles understood why. The reasoning was sound, the logic irrefutable. And considering he was finding himself tempted almost beyond endurance to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her to him every time he was in her company, putting distance between them grew more and more essential.
But on a deeper level, he couldn’t accept that she would soon be gone. How could he be expected to live without her? He’d endured four years of separation. Now that he had found her, he was to be deprived of her again? It was insupportable!
Miles glanced up at the sky from a window in the drawing room, where he, Beth, Langley, and, of course, Elise had gathered after dinner.
“It is a very clear night,” Elise said, joining him at the window.
He kept his gaze on the sky. “It is, indeed,” he said with believable neutrality.
“Miles, I need your opinion on something.” Elise dropped her voice to a level that suggested a desire for privacy but also a certain urgency that immediately pulled his eyes to her. “The day is all but over, and I have yet to receive a letter.”
He had wondered why she hadn’t brought him the daily correspondence. He’d worried, in fact, that she felt she no longer needed his support or advice. He was glad to be wrong, though it was a bittersweet realization in light of her imminent departure.
“I would very much like to feel relieved by the change, but I find I cannot be,” Elise said. “I am almost certain that he means to worry me more by not sending a threatening note.”
“You are most likely correct,” Miles admitted, though it gave him some pain to do so. He would much rather have been a source of reassurance and consolation.
“Surely he will eventually run out of things to write and simply give up his campaign,” Elise said, though she sounded unconvinced. “He would not, I hope, continue this for the rest of my life.”
“I am confident we will discover his identity before long.” Miles spoke with more conviction than he felt.
“You will keep me informed of your progress?” Her eyes entreated him. “I will worry less if I know something is being done.”
Again, she was requesting correspondence, quite as if they were old schoolmates leaving behind their days of education to begin separate lives. His feelings might have been in a jumble, but hers did not appear to be.
“Of course I will write to you,” he promised, feeling once more as if the foundation beneath him were crumbling. “How are the preparations coming for your move?” He decided to tackle the matter head-on rather than wait for her to force it upon him.
“Anne and I have very little to our names, so there is not much p
reparation to be completed. Mrs. Ash has agreed to help in the kitchen as well as with Anne. I have written to Mr. Cane, asking that he send along to Gilford more particulars of my finances. I think all shall turn out well for us in the end.”
“I sincerely hope so.” Miles fought an almost overwhelming urge to plead with her to reconsider. How could she leave him? How could she not be as disheartened by the prospect of a separation as he was?
He had to say something, had to cover his desperation and frustration. “You leave on Friday, Langley tells me.”
“Yes.” Elise nodded. “Immediately following breakfast.”
“The journey will require three days at the very least,” Miles said, suddenly seeing an impediment. “Are you ready for such a long carriage ride? I know you are still uneasy traveling.”
“Another reason to settle permanently.” She far too easily sidestepped his objection. “After I reach Gilford, I need never travel far from there again.”
She would never come back to Tafford? Not even to see Mama Jones? Not to see him? Miles hoped it was merely nerves that caused her to say as much.
“If there’s anything I can do to help you prepare,” he offered halfheartedly.
She nodded but didn’t speak. Beth called her over in the next moment, and all Miles could do for the remainder of the night was watch from a distance, knowing he was days from losing her again.
* * *
“Is that ever’thing?”
“Yes, John,” Mr. Langley answered. “We will be on our way momentarily.”
Elise felt her heart crack painfully. She would be leaving in a moment. She had thought the prospect of getting into a closed carriage would be the most difficult part. It was not.
Miles stood beside her on the front steps of Tafford.
“Are you certain you are equal to this? You are facing three entire days.”
“It is a necessary evil,” Elise answered.
“I suppose it is.”
She knew she could delay the inevitable no longer. “Thank you, Miles, for everything these past weeks. I have been happier here than I have been in years.” Her words broke with emotion despite her desperate efforts to prevent her inner turmoil from showing.
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