“What are you two up to today?” Darren asked.
We filled him in on our plans for the day. He ran his hand through his hair. “Shoot, I wish that I could hang out with you guys, but I have to work all day.” Then his face lit up with an idea, “Hey, I know, why don’t I bring some brews over tonight and we can reminisce about old times?”
Amber squirmed as she jammed her hands into her back pockets, disguising her nervous energy. “Sure, I guess that will be fine. I already invited Michael over tonight.”
Michael was Amber’s newest crush and they had been seeing each other for a few weeks. Michael knew that she and Darren maintained a friendship and so far had been cool with it, but he’d never had to socialize with him.
I imagined that it would make Amber hesitant to think about them both coming over.
“Why don’t you bring your girlfriend over? I’d love to meet her.” She suggested.
Nice move, I thought. Amber’s attempt to diffuse the situation was smart. “Yeah, bring her by,” I said. “We promise to go easy on her.”
Darren narrowed his eyes as he thought it over. “Yeah, I bet you will,” Then he shrugged. “Okay, we’ll swing by around eight o’clock. That all right?”
Amber and I agreed in unison, “Eight o’clock”
Darren turned on his heel to go back to work before he got into trouble. At the last minute he looked back and pointed a finger. “You two better be nice,” then shoved through the swinging doors at the back of the store.
We giggled. It had been fun to tease Darren a little. He was usually the one teasing everyone else.
I was putting Marissa down for the night, singing the children’s church hymns that my grandma had sung to me as a young girl. As I sat by Marissa’s playpen, gently stroking her hair back from her face, I reflected on our day. We’d had so much fun picnicking and playing with Marissa in the shallow part of the lake. Marissa had giggled and chortled every time Amber dunked under the water and then popped back up with a splash.
In spite of lathering on sun-block we returned with pink faces and shoulders, feeling spent from the activity of the day. But I was still restless and looked forward to the visit with Darren. I hated to admit that I was hoping to wheedle a bit of information from him about Gabriel, while trying not to seem too obvious.
Gabriel: even with all the time that had passed, I still couldn’t think of him without flushing with emotion. I always thought that as time went on, my memory of him and the time that we had spent together would fade, but it never did. It was still fresh inside me as if it were only yesterday that we held each other.
I shook my head, wanting to clear my wandering thoughts when I heard a car pulling into the gravel lane. I looked down at my sleeping baby and covered her with a light blanket, knowing that the heat of the day would soon be replaced by a cool summertime breeze.
Darren quickly made introductions while everyone converged in the kitchen where Michael was mixing an alcoholic beverage that he had invented and so fittingly named ‘lights out.’
I kept an eye on Amber to gauge how she was handling the less than ordinary social gathering. To both of our surprise we actually liked Darren’s girlfriend. She came across as a little ditzy at times but was actually pretty sweet and seemed to be able to keep Darren and his antics in line. We both relaxed as she met with our approval and the awkwardness of the situation faded.
Michael and Darren had the same twisted sense of humor so they hit it off pretty quickly as well, which was a bit odd but further eased Amber’s apprehension.
Before we knew it we were all feeling the effects of the ‘lights out’ concoction and laughing hysterically as we shared each others’ past high school mishaps.
I was trying to work my way up to broaching the topic of Gabriel when Darren beat me to it. He was reaching into the freezer for ice when he leaned over the door and looked directly at me, his eyes already glazed, “Have you been in touch with Gabe yet?” he asked.
Amber called out to him from the dining table, “Shut the freezer door, you moron!”
Darren closed the door and continued to gaze at me, completely unfazed by Amber’s comment.
I blushed. “Um, no. I don’t think that he would be too enthused to hear from me.”
“Whatever!” He plopped the ice in his cup. “Of course he would want to see you. Come on. Let’s give him a call right now.”
I popped up out of my chair. “No, I mean, not right now. Uhh… It’s too late at night, maybe tomorrow.” My heart was pounding; I wasn’t ready.
Darren acted like I hadn’t said a word, snatched up the phone and began to dial.
I was wringing my hands together. “I’m not kidding Darren, don’t you dare. Damn it!” I exclaimed as I watched him ignore my excuses and continue to dial. He lowered the mouthpiece. “Got the answering machine.” He gave an annoying conspiratorial wink as he repositioned the phone. “Hey Gabe, it’s me. I have someone here with me that would like to say hi, talk to ya later man.” He shoved the phone towards me but I violently shook my head and backed away, as if he were trying to hand over a ticking time bomb. “Huh uh, no way.”
Darren grabbed my right arm pulling me close, and deliberately placed the phone to my ear. “Stop being such a baby,” he hissed, and stepped back leaving me gaping at him with the phone in my hand.
I clutched it to my chin. “Umm hi, Gabriel, it’s Roshell. I’m just in town for a few weeks. I am staying with Amber. Anyway, I hope that you are doing good. I… uh… Goodbye.” I hung up the phone and stared at it like it was infectious. My breaths were coming shallow and fast and I had to force myself to calm down to avoid hyperventilating.
I bent over and rested both hands on my knees, then looked over at Darren’s smirking face. “You are such an ass.”
“Oh, get over it,” he said. “Besides I just remembered that he’s not even home right now. He won’t be home for weeks. His roommate will probably erase the message and forget all about it. He won’t even know that you called”
I straightened upright, “Out of town?”
Darren sat at the dining table and we listened, “Yeah, I totally forgot. He’s off fighting fires on the other side of the mountain. Last year he joined the National Guard, and they just flew his unit out last weekend, hoping to get that fire on the east side under control.”
My heart sank as I realized that I really wouldn’t be seeing him during my visit and had to admit how much I had secretly been wishing that our paths would have crossed. “Oh,” I said, feeling deflated.
Amber recognized my struggle and quickly changed the subject. She was always coming to my rescue.
The rest of the evening went by in an inebriated haze, and I retired to the bedroom as soon as Darren and his girlfriend walked out the front door.
My mind wandered as I imagined how the last few years had played out for Gabriel. Flashes of assumed scenarios played through my head in only a matter of minutes and I pressed my eyes tightly shut, praying that Michael’s ‘lights out’ drink would hold up to its name so that I could escape the torment of my imagination and simply pass out.
Chapter 17
I shuffled out to the kitchen with Marissa slung over one arm, the other clasping my pounding head.
“Morning sunshine,” Amber goaded.
I moaned. “How is it that you can drink like a fish and never seem to get a hangover?”
Amber sipped her scalding coffee. “Good genetics?” she offered. “I don’t know, but I was thinking of heading into town to do some shopping, do you want to go? Or do you need more beauty sleep?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I’ll be fine, just let me down some of that coffee and hit the shower first. I’ll be as good as new in no time.” I seriously doubted it, but decided that where there was a will, there was a way. And where shopping was concerned there was always a will.
We had a blast at the mall. Amber picked up a cute new pair of jeans, and neither of us could resist buying Marissa
the adorable summer dresses that were on sale. Then we splurged on smoothies and pretzels with cheese, before the thirty minute drive home.
I carried my limp, sleeping daughter into the house and laid her down. I was about to step back out the front door to gather our bags, when I heard Amber hit the play button on the answering machine. I froze mid-step as a familiar voice echoed in the air.
“Hey, Roshell. Gabe here. Just got in early this morning. Long story. Anyway, I heard your message and I was hoping that maybe we could get together or something. I would love to see you while you’re in town. So… yeah… give me a call. My number is 555-8674. Hope to talk with you soon. Bye.”
Amber stood erect with her finger still poised on the message button, watching my reaction.
I looked at the answering machine as if waiting to see if there would be more then looked up at Amber, needing guidance. “Oh my god, what do I do?”
Amber noticed that I was shaking and flustered. She walked over and guided me to the couch. “Well, you want to see him don’t you?”
I nodded. “Yes, but I’m scared. He was so mad at me the last time that we saw each other.” My mind was racing as fast as my heart was hammering in my chest, and I had to make a concerted effort to think rationally.
“Well then, I personally think that you should call him.” She stated very matter of factly. “That was years ago and a lot has happened since then. I can’t imagine he would say he wanted to see you if he was still mad and just wanted to have an argument.”
I tried to see reason in what Amber was saying but couldn’t help feeling like I was about to implode.
While I was having a mental breakdown, Amber stood up, marched to the phone and hit redial, knowing that Gabriel’s number had been the last one dialed the night before. It began to ring on the other end and Amber simply held out the phone expectantly.
I was operating on auto pilot as I stood and glided toward her, feeling disengaged from my body. My hand shook when I grabbed the receiver and placed it to my ear.
Just as I was about to panic and hang up, I heard a click and then, “Hello, this is Gabe.”
It was so good to hear his melodious voice. I paused, still toying with the idea of hanging up, but Amber kicked me in the shin before I could. “Ouch, umm, yeah, Hi Gabriel, it’s Roshell,” I stammered.
“Hey Roshell, I’m so glad that you called. How have you been?”
We maintained an awkward conversation with trivial details, my mind scattered, before Gabriel changed the dynamic with a direct and unabashed statement. “I have really missed you, Princess.”
My stomach did a somersault. “Really? You have?” I hadn’t been sure what to expect but his obvious pleasure at talking to me was a shock. I had to be brave and return the sentiment. He had to know that I was just as happy. I leaned against the wall for support. “I missed you, too.” It was the first time that I had ever said something so honest to him. It was long over-due.
Gabriel didn’t miss a beat. “I really want to see you. Tonight. Would tonight work for you?” I looked questioningly at Amber who was vehemently nodding her head in affirmation.
“Uhh, sure. Tonight would be fine. How about seven?”
“Seven is perfect, I’ll see you then.”
I spoke up quickly. “Gabriel, wait! I need to tell you something first.” I paused nervously, it had to be said. “I got married a few years back and I’m in the middle of a divorce right now,” I blurted out.
Gabriel was silent, then “Wow, that’s new. Are you doing okay? Maybe you don’t want company after all?” He sounded disappointed.
I rushed to correct him, “No, I do want to see you, I just thought that you should know is all.”
“Is there anything else, Princess?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
I closed my eyes and suppressed a groan. Of course there was something else. Wasn’t there always? I had to give him full disclosure before I agreed to meet with him. “Yes, just one other thing, I have a child.” I chewed my nail and waited for a response.
Again there was a pregnant pause. “Okay… so are we on for seven or what?”
I was a little disgruntled that he hadn’t given any real feedback to my announcement but figured we would catch up once we were face to face. It was better that way anyway because then I could read his facial expressions. “Sure, I’ll see you then.” I hung up.
Amber’s eager expression was nearly comical, except I wasn’t really in the mood to laugh. “I think I might throw up!” I said.
Amber started laughing. “No, you’re not. What you are going to do, is go take a shower and decide how HOT you want to look tonight.”
AMBER: Yikes! I was doing my best to help Roshell with her fashion crisis but as she gradually became more and more frantic as seven o’clock drew nearer I had to exit the room. It was either that, or strangle her.
She had already changed her hairstyle from down, to up, to partial up, and then back to down. After twenty excruciating minutes of rummaging through both of our wardrobes trying to settle on an outfit, I hit my limit.
It’s fairly safe to say that I am somewhat ambivalent about keeping up with the newest fashions, because I work with horses every day. Jeans, a t-shirt and some boots are pretty much all I need. This level of insanity over an outfit is ridiculous to me.
“I give up!” Amber threw her hands in the air. “You’re on your own. I think my brain is fried.” She stomped off in frustration.
I didn’t take it personally; I knew that I was way beyond obnoxious at that point. I was obsessing on my appearance to distract from worrying over how the evening would go. I took a deep breath and forced myself to settle on my favorite jeans and a three quarter sleeved, crisp white collared shirt that dressed up the jeans just enough. I ran the brush through my hair one last time before joining Marissa and Amber out on the front porch where they were swinging in the chair hammock.
Amber looked up, took in my appearance, and gave a look of approval. “I like it! I was thinking that Marissa and I should go for a walk. There’s still plenty of daylight left, and Gabe should be here any minute. It would give you guys a little while to get reacquainted without this little turkey stealing the show.” She ruffled Marissa’s hair.
“Yeah, I guess that would be okay, but then we would be all alone,” I said with a pinched expression.
Amber rolled her eyes. “Roshell, it will be fine. Would you just chill out! You’re making me want to jab a large stick in my eye.”
I giggled. Amber always knew just what to say to get me to see how ridiculous I was being. “Alright,” I answered, stepping through the front gate to pull Marissa’s stroller out of the trunk of the car.
Amber loaded Marissa up and they started down the gravel road. I watched from the porch until they were out of sight. I was about to head back into the house when I heard a car approaching on the main road. As it came closer, I noticed that it was a car I didn’t recognize and relaxed until it slowed down and pulled into Amber’s gravel lane. With a sharp intake of breath, I put my hand to my stomach and willed my nerves to settle.
This had to be him. It hadn’t occurred to me that he would have a different car. But of course he would. It had been three years since we last laid eyes on one another. A lot had changed for the both of us. Still, it was odd to see him in anything other than the Mustang.
This vehicle was some sort of older SUV. It looked to be a four- wheel drive jeep. It was light blue and loud, like it had glass packs put on it just to make it sound cool. That was definitely his style. His ride had always been an expression: loud, bumping music and a flashy presence.
I squelched the overwhelming desire to run and hide, but stood my ground on the front porch while he parked.
It was taking him a little longer than expected to get out of the driver’s seat and I wrestled with etiquette: do I stay here and look cool or do I rush out and greet him? Then he opened the back door and grabbed something before rounding the back of t
he vehicle towards the house.
It was then that I noticed he had pulled out crutches and was now hobbling down the sidewalk, favoring his right leg which was in a chunky white cast.
“Oh my gosh.” I ran down the stairs and opened the front gate to help him through, “What happened to you?”
Gabriel just smiled, ignoring my lame attempts to help him out. “It’s part of that long story that I mentioned on Amber’s machine earlier today, I’ll tell you all about it once I sit down.
“In the meantime, you should probably just give me some space so that no one gets hurt; I’m still getting used to these things and don’t seem to be real graceful with them so far.”
“Oh, sure, I’ll just get the door.” I dashed up the stairs to prop open the door, trying my best not to stare at him. He looked so incredible. His skin was bronzed from the sun, and his hair seemed to have extra blond streaks. It was shorter than I was used to, cut close to the scalp in the typical military style, and even though I missed the thick waves, I had to admit that it made him look older and devastatingly handsome. His arms were thicker and more toned, which I assumed was from his training, making his presence all the more intimidating.
Once he settled on the sofa, I purposely chose to sit in the recliner to put a safe distance between us. “Can I get you something to drink? Water? Soda?” I was a total wreck on the inside and hoped to God that he couldn’t tell.
Gabriel propped his crutches against the arm of the couch and leaned back, making himself at home. “No thanks. I’m good.” He leveled his gaze until he locked eyes with mine.
There it was. As strong as it had ever been. It was as if three years hadn’t passed at all. It was just the two of us again. There was so much emotionally charged energy vibrating between that gap and I could nearly hear the room buzz with it.
My lashes fluttered and I looked down at my hands, fidgeting with the arm- rest cover on the recliner. “So how did you hurt yourself?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say and I desperately wanted to fill the awkward silence.
Embracing You, Embracing Me - A Coming of Age Romance (Fingerpress Life Stories) Page 13
