“Why did you do it?”
This time she said it so quietly I had to lean in closer to hear her. “I mean,” she continued. “Why did you swim out after me? What if you drowned or something? Then we’d both be dead.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on my forehead. “I couldn’t do that to you. You should have just let me… I don’t know, maybe you should have yelled louder or something.”
She looked up, her turbulent eyes searching mine. My breath caught in my chest. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from hers. I wanted to reach up to touch her face; my fingers almost ached to feel her skin.
“Well…” I stopped. My face flushed, thinking of the real reason why I swam out after her. Because faced with the decision, I couldn’t see her wash out of my life, that’s why.
“I couldn’t just let you drown,” I whispered.
I looked at her, really looked at her, noticing every freckle, every color in her eyes, every line in her face. My heart beat in my chest and the frog in my stomach leaped over and over. I drew my hand to her face and caressed her jaw, pulling it toward me; the nerves in my finger zinged at the closeness, and I softly traced the line of her cheekbone. I leaned in toward her, amazed at my boldness, and could feel her breath on my lips.
Momentarily lost in thought, I wanted to stand there forever, lost deep in her eyes, just her and me.
“Isolda?”
“Mmmm?”
“I think…” Thoughts churned around me. Memories of me lying on the gym floor with her face hovering over mine, of her eating strawberries and laughing and of all the times we hung out in the library goofing off and playing cards, supposedly working on our project. I thought of us at my house, her legs over mine on the couch, and of us staring out over the cliffs with the slight shimmer of the stars overhead. Then I remembered how we held hands as we swam down the shoreline, stopping only to momentarily to catch our breath while the waves crashed around us.
All these memories swirled together in my head and suddenly I felt something inside break free. I closed my eyes and gently pulled on her chin to bring her a millimeter closer. I brushed my lips lightly against hers while I ran my thumb across her cheek, then hesitated slightly to wait for her reaction. I opened my eyes; she had closed hers.
Then my lips connected with hers.
She opened her mouth to meet mine and pulled me closer to her passionately. Her moist lips were as soft as pocketed sunshine and my hand trembled against her cheek. As we kissed, I could taste the salt from the ocean and something else like clove and mint. Our kissing grew more intense and my body wanted to burst into a million bits of happiness. Surely my heart would explode; it was pounding furiously.
I pulled my head back only slightly so that our lips were millimeters apart; lingering, while her breath poured over my face like soft sunlight. I savored the feel of her in my arms and the wind blew her hair around our faces, catching in my mouth. Her eyes sparkled as she pulled her hair out of my mouth; her finger slightly lingering on my lips. I grinned at her.
There was a noise behind us. Isolda looked behind me and frowned. I didn’t bother to look behind me. I didn’t care who saw us.
“I think they’ve found us,” she said. For a split second her face looked confused and then looked back at me with a strange expression on her face. She cleared her dry throat. “There’s Ailey.”
“Tristen! Tristen!” I heard a voice far away behind me. “I was so worried. Are you okay?”
I felt a hand on my shoulder that pulled me about face.
“Tristen, what the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!” The cloud I was on faded and I fell back down to reality. Ailey was by my side, frantically checking to see if I was okay. I had never seen Ailey so frantic, or so rude.
Hello, can’t she see I’m in the middle of something?
“Are you okay?” Ailey breathed raggedly. She pulled me away from Isolda to look me over. Strangely, I felt like a missing part of me had retuned once again. I hadn’t even realized that that part was gone until I knew it was there again.
The rest of the class caught up and there was chaos as they were shouting all at once; Mrs. Burdach fretted over us, asking if we were okay. Brooks reached over and pounded on my back. Then he tried to help me walk back toward the dunes.
“I’m all right, Brooks. Thanks man, but I’m ok,” I said when he insisted.
I looked over at Isolda. Greg had picked her up in his arms, cradling her like a baby. She was looking at him like he was the one who had saved her. “Hey, I thought you said you could swim,” he joked.
“I can!” she insisted.
A slight irritation burned inside me, but Brooks punched my shoulder. “Really, Tristen, you don’t need to be the superhero,” he chuckled.
I ignored him; Isolda laid her head on Greg's shoulder and closed her eyes, resting. As if she could feel me staring, she opened her eyes to look at me. For a moment our eyes connected, then she looked at Ailey, and then back at me, shaking her head.
My heart sank and I looked back at Ailey who was still walking beside me and chatting nervously, obviously worried. I would never be able explain the relationship between Ailey and me because I didn’t have any answers. There was no way to put in plain words how I felt about Ailey. Even if I tried to explain, how could Isolda ever understand?
I felt fury build up inside me; why did it have to be this way? Why did Ailey and I have this weird – crazy – relationship? And why couldn’t Isolda understand, like Brooks?
“Tristen, I’m…” Ailey tried to talk to me.
I shrugged her off. “Go away, Ailey.”
Ailey stared at me, clearly stung.
“Man, chill bro. She’s just trying to help,” Brooks defended her.
“I don’t need her help,” I mumbled and walked off, picking up my pace to put myself in front of the group until I saw the bus driver pull up. Mrs. Burdach must have called her to tell her where they found us.
I walked fast, boarding the bus first and, grabbing my backpack, went all the way to the back, and lay down on the last seat. I licked my lips, momentarily hoping I could still taste mint, but all I could taste was salt. Disappointed, I closed my eyes; my body shivered from the cold.
“Tristen?” I heard a soft voice call out to me. I just lay there, not looking up. “Here… here’s your stuff,” Piper laid my soggy paper and pencil by my hands. I closed my eyes and pulled my jacket closed.
“Here, want to use this?” Piper held out her jacket to me. Ignoring her, I pulled my wet hood over my head and rolled toward the back of the seat, shivering, and gave in to the darkness that pulled on me; sleeping the whole ride back.
❦
At home, Lucky met me halfway to the door and I picked him up and headed straight for my room. My parents were both gone; my mom had a checkup today so they were at the hospital.
I put my backpack on the bottom of my bed and lay down and snuggled with Lucky. My head felt heavy and my vision became fuzzy. At the bottom of my bed I could see a small girl poking her head out. She grinned at me and I saw a missing front tooth. I squeezed my eyes shut to block out my hallucination.
“Jehanette, dear, I want you to talk to me,” a voice stated.
A man sat across from the same girl in a small poorly lit room. He was in the middle of writing something down when the woman who spoke came in the room.
"Indeed, I am not sorry for that, but glad. What is in your mind?"
"This. I scarcely slept last night, for thinking of the dangers you are running. The Paladin told me how you made the duke stand out of the way when the cannon-balls were flying all about, and so you saved his life,” said the woman.
"Well, that was right, wasn't it?" the child answered.
"Right? Yes, but you stayed there yourself. Why would you do like that? It seems such a wanton risk."
"Oh, no, it was not so. I was not in any danger."
"How can you say that, Jehanette, with those deadly things flying all a
bout you?"
The girl laughed, and tried to change the subject, but the woman persisted.
"It was horribly dangerous, and it could not be necessary to stay in such a place. And you led an assault again. Jehanette, it is tempting Providence. I want you to make me a promise. I want you to promise me that you will let others lead the assaults, if there must be assaults, and that you will take better care of yourself in those dreadful battles. Will you?"
The girl remained silent, thinking.
The woman persisted, “Jehanette, are you going to be a soldier always? These wars are so long — so long. They last forever and ever and ever."
There was a flash in the girl’s eye and she exclaimed: "This campaign will do all the really hard work that is in front of it in the next four days. The rest of it will be gentler oh, far less bloody. Yes, in four days France will gather another trophy like the redemption of Orleans and make her second long step toward freedom!"
The woman gazed at the girl in a trance, murmuring "four days — four days," as if to herself. Finally she asked, in a low voice, “Jehanette, tell me — how is it that you know that? For you do know it, I think."
"Yes," said the girl, dreamily, "I know — I know. I shall strike — and strike again. And before the fourth day is finished I shall strike yet again."
The girl became silent. A whole minute passed while she looked at the floor, her lips moving but she said nothing.
Finally she spoke, and her words were passionate, “And in a thousand years the English power in France will not rise up from that blow.”*
❦
I awoke with a start. There was a ringing noise. I fumbled around my bed and found my phone. I also had a text message from my dad.
“Hullo?”
“Tristen,” a male voice was on the other end.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Hey, it’s me.” I was quiet.
“It’s Brooks.”
“Oh — yes! Sorry, I just woke up. How’s it going? Is Ailey ok?”
“Yeah, she’s okay. I was just calling to ask you for a favor.”
“Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure. What do you need?”
“Well, Ailey and her dad have decided to go away for a week and they’re leaving tonight.”
“But it’s Thursday.”
“Yeah, it has to do with his work. He’s got a meeting tomorrow morning and then they’re going to spend the rest of the week doing touristy stuff. Anyhow, she’s got to finish packing but she wants to know if I can come get you and bring you over here for a minute.”
I looked at my watch. It was getting pretty late.
“Um, hold on a sec,” I said and pulled the phone down to look at my text.
‘Hey bud. Going to grab something to eat in the car. Scavenge food for yourself.’
“Okay, sure. No problem. When are you going to be here?” I replied.
“I’m coming over now, bro. Is that cool?”
“Yeah, sure. See you in a minute.”
“All right.” He hung up.
When I walked out the door, Brooks was leaning on the side of his car. When he saw me he glared at me slightly, then turned back around and ducked into his car. He hadn’t been over friendly on the phone, but I hadn’t realized until now that he was mad at me. When I got in the car he glared at me again and I looked down. I felt uncomfortably ashamed but I didn’t know what to say.
“Look Brooks, I know that…”
“All she was trying to do was help,” he interrupted. “She was so worried about you. She climbed up those rocks like a monkey. I didn’t realize what an athlete she is. She outran even me.”
I focused on a small spot on the floor and could only think of how rude I had been. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at the time, but it was enough, enough to offend.
“Ailey can be pretty understanding; she just has this… this amazing ability to understand people and to be able to empathize with them. I don’t even think she was mad at you. But I’m not as understanding. I don’t know, Tristen, I try, but somehow I can’t understand people sometimes.”
People? I was beginning to wonder if this wasn’t about me, as much as about something else. He continued, “And she, she doesn’t care what other people say about her, or us, she is just herself, without pretense. And she’s still polite to the people that talk bad about her behind her back. As if she didn’t know what they were saying!”
I couldn’t imagine anyone saying anything bad about Ailey. I couldn’t even think of what they could possibly come up with to say that was bad about her. He looked at me and sighed. “You probably don’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry, I’ve just had a bad day and I’m taking it out on you.” He glanced at me again. “You really don’t have any idea, do you?”
“Umm... I’m not sure. Are you talking about earlier or…” I trailed off, hoping he would give me some clue.
He just looked ahead. “No, it’s all right. Let’s talk about something else. Hey, I heard Mrs. Burdach was going to give you an ‘A’ for your project – at least you don’t have to worry about that. I am assuming you didn’t finish.”
“Nope. I didn’t.” I continued to stare at the floor, unsure of what I was supposed to do next. This was the first time it was just Brooks and me together; Ailey was always with us before.
“Hey, can I ask you something, bro? I don’t mean to be nosey or anything but…”
“Sure,” I interrupted him, anxious to talk about something else. “Anything.”
“What’s the deal with you and Isolda?”
I slumped in my seat.
“Okay maybe not ‘anything,’” I responded.
“It seemed like she liked you and she was coming over to your house and everything. And hello – you swam into a riptide to save her, and y’all were pretty close on the beach when we finally caught up with you. But then on the bus she’s all over Greg, and everyone is talking about you saving Greg’s girlfriend. I’m like ‘What on earth is goin’ on?’ So I wanted to hear it from you. What is going on?”
I sighed deeply and laid my head back on the headrest. “I wish I knew.”
I immediately flashed back to the look on her face when she saw Ailey.
“I mean, I think that she might have liked me, but I’m just an idiot. I just don’t know how to tell her how I feel about her, so she might feel —” I struggled with the wording, without actually letting him know what she really thought. “She might misunderstand my feelings for her.”
“She thinks you like Ailey.”
“How did you know?” I blurted.
“Well, why else would you have snapped at Ailey? I mean, I just figured.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know how to explain… you know, her and me,” I finished lamely.
Brooks was quiet. I ran my hands through my hair.
“Hey, I’ve never noticed that mark on your hand before. What is it?” Brooks asked.
I looked down at my left hand in the space between my thumb and finger. My ‘blazing sun’ as I called it. It had been there since I could remember; it looked like it had been burned into my skin. “I don’t know. It’s always been there. My parents told me it’s a birthmark.”
“That’s pretty cool, but also kinda weird because Ailey has one exactly like it. Well, not exactly like it. Hers is in the same spot, and looks kinda the same, but hers is an almond shape.”
He looked at me strangely.
“Okay, so anyway, you still didn’t tell me, you said you couldn’t tell Isolda how you felt about her, so tell me: how do you feel about her?”
I sat for a moment, not knowing what to say, unsure of how much to open up to him. “Um, well, I like her. I think she’s pretty cool.” I decided that I definitely did not want to tell him how I really felt about her; I really did not want to come off stalker-ish. “I mean, you know, she’s pretty and fun to be with. I just wish I could, you know, tell her that.”
“I hear ya, bro. Why can’t you just tell her?”
I squirmed uneasily. “Well, I’m not really sure how I feel. Or what to say.”
He looked at me.
“Seriously? What guy jumps out into a riptide after a girl without even thinking about it, and doesn’t have strong feelings for her?”
I sighed, giving in. “Yeah, you’re right. Have you ever done it?”
“What, swam into a riptide? No, I usually try to avoid those.”
I rolled my eyes.
“No, I mean, told a girl you loved her.”
“Ummm… no. I haven’t.”
“You’ve never told Ailey?”
“Nope.”
I grew silent. I couldn’t think of any couple that was more in sync and great together than him and Ailey.
“Well, sometimes it just has to happen on its own,” he said defensively.
“Yeah, sure.” Suddenly I didn’t feel so bad. Or good either. If Brooks couldn’t say it, then what hope did I have?
I thought about the story of Brooks spilling chocolate milkshake on Ailey’s blouse during their first date. I was beginning to see another side of Brooks and, admittedly, it was nice to know I wasn’t the only guy who wasn’t sure of himself sometimes.
The car grew quiet and I mulled over our conversation. Should I tell Isolda how I feel? I was sure that I loved her; there was no doubt about that. Seeing her dragged away by a rip tide exposed my real feelings for her. But, if I told her she would probably think I was crazy. Maybe I was crazy. Surely she felt something for me, and yet apparently she didn’t feel enough for me. That or she just felt something more for Greg. Tired of trying to figure things out, I pulled out my homework and tried to forget the events of the day.
❦
When we arrived at her house, Brooks swung around to the front of the house to park. As I reached for the handle, I felt Brooks’ heavy hand bear down on my arm. I turned to look at him and found a very serious expression staring back at me.
“I know you didn’t mean to offend Ailey today, but everyone who hangs out with her should treat her with the respect she deserves. You know what I mean, bro?”
I looked him in the eyes, my cheeks burning with embarrassment, then looked down. “Absolutely,” I responded. He was right, of course.
The Last Seeker: Book 1: a teen & YA magical, fantasy, paranormal, & adventure novel (TRISTEN) Page 9
