“When did you meet Gîsal?”
“About a year before the war began. He had just become engaged, and he and his fiancé came over to our house to see how far my mother had come with the fabric she was weaving for the wedding gown.
“My mother sent me away, but as I ran past, Gîsal caught me in his arms and put me on his lap. I looked at him, full of admiration. He had a friendly face, I remember, and his eyes smiled. He talked to me in a soft voice as he praised my mother, and told me to always be proud of her. I felt him to be sincere, and when he told me about his wedding, I knew how important it was to him.”
“Did you ever see her in the wedding gown?” Lumea asked.
Elion shook his head sadly. “Nobody did. When the war broke out, she was one of its first victims. They were never married.” “His heart must have been broken,” Lumea whispered.
“I’m sure it was. I remember the way he looked at her, while she stood next to my mother’s loom. She was admiring the fabric, but every now and then she looked over her shoulder and gave her future husband a brilliant smile. Every time she did, his eyes would start to shine. When they left, he placed his hand on the small of her back, and the love between those two spoke as much from that single gesture as from the unconsciousness with which it was done. I’m convinced she was his whole world. Loss like that must be a terrible thing.”
Elion’s story clarified many things for Lumea. “That explains why he built Hydrhaga, and why he wants to attack Omnesia,” she said.
Elion became angry. “I refuse to believe he’s behind any of this!” He stood up and towered above Lumea, but she looked up at him fiercely.
“Then how do you explain his insignia on the wall?” she said.
Elion hesitated for a moment, but then he said, “I don’t know. All I know is that an elf could not have done that to his own kin.”
“Unless he thinks he’s acting on their behalf as well.”
Though Lumea was close to the truth, Elion still refused to believe her words.
“Elion, think about it.” She raised her voice in an attempt to get through to him. “The war has been over for centuries. All that time he lived alone, among his enemy, remembering all the wrongs they did to him. He wants revenge. That’s the only part of him left.”
“How dare you claim to understand what happened!” he said, furiously. He turned around and strode away. When he was close to a wall, though, he stopped and stood with his head bent for a while, his jaw clenching and unclenching. When he turned around again, he muttered, “You’re right. During the war he lost everything he had. His city was destroyed, his beloved murdered, his people made into pariahs of society. He’s had more than enough reason to do these terrible things.”
The elf came back and sat down with a sigh. “But then who am I to take that away from him? If he’s taking revenge in the name of all the elves, shouldn’t I be following him?”
Lumea quickly shook her head. “This is a personal matter that has cost too many innocent lives already. You have already picked your side. You have to remember why you came to Hydrhaga!”
“You said it yourself, he also acts in the name of those elves in the power plant,” Elion said.
“I said that is what he thinks, but you could see the fear and the pain in their eyes. Do you really think they would have begged you to stop the machine if they believed in him?”
Elion put his head in his hands and shrugged.
“Just give yourself the chance to think things through,” Lumea said.
The elf did not say anything, until he angrily swept the arrows from the table.
“I should have never come back. Why couldn’t the hyenas have just killed me?”
Though she did not entirely understand his words, Lumea was startled by their sincerity. She got up to put a comforting arm around his shoulders, but he shrugged her away.
“Maybe it was your destiny to come back. Perhaps the gods have something in mind for you.”
Elion rose again and for the second time looked down at her. Though his voice was furious, his eyes showed more confusion than anything else. “The gods? What do I care about them? They’ve never lifted a finger to stop the elves’ fate, and now all of a sudden they choose me to somehow make everything right? Thanks, but no thanks, Lumea, if it’s all the same to you.”
“Don’t you believe in the gods?” Lumea was shocked. The gods were very important to her, and she had always assumed that the elf felt the same way about them.
“How can I believe after everything that has happened? How cruel can these gods exist if they allowed it to happen at all? If they are responsible for all of the bad things that I’ve seen, then they don’t deserve my trust.”
“But the gods give you direction! You’re never alone if you believe in them.” She was trying her hardest to convince him, but Elion snapped at her.
“I’ve been alone all my life, Lumea, except for the first nine years.” “When did you turn away from them?” She was concerned.
“Me? I wasn’t the one that did the turning. They left when my mother was killed in front of me.”
Tears burned in Lumea’s eyes. She could understand why Elion had started to think that way, but it was still difficult for her to accept. She wanted to put a hand on his arm, but with an angry gesture he turned it away and left the room without another word.
19
In the time that followed, the three fugitives created some private space. They had been together for so long that a little privacy was more than welcome. The sense of safety they all felt made them less careful of their surroundings.
Lumea had found a small room with eight corners, and it greatly reminded her of a chapel. To four of the eight walls candelabras were affixed, and the candles—once she had lit them all—gave off a warm, yellow light. Wax had dripped from the candle holders and was lying on the floor in small heaps. The floor tiles made a mosaic of intertwining branches, though the center had been left bare of an image. It was a comforting place, and Lumea often found herself retreating there to meditate. Thanks to the rest she received, her body healed quickly, while her meditations provided a different kind of medicine for her spirit.
She often used these meditations to pray to the gods about Elion. She was worried about the elf, and if he did not seek help from the spirits, then she would do it for him. She prayed to them to forgive him for the way he talked about them. She hoped that they would not turn away from him now, but that they would help him in his choices now that he most needed it. It was clear that he did not wish for her help, but maybe in this way she could do something for him.
Usually she was in such a deep trance that she took no notice at all of her surroundings. Thus, she did not hear the creaking of the stairs. It was only when the door abruptly opened and the subsequent cold wind blew out one of the candles that she looked up at the stranger that stood before her. A wisp of smoke drew a wily image in the air, gone within seconds.
Lumea jumped up, startled by the man’s entrance. He was young and his face was open and friendly. It was obvious from his greeting that he was surprised to find anyone here, and he did not seem to realize that she was one of the fugitives. Lumea took a step back, her mind working at full speed. He was standing between her and the exit, and she wondered how was she going to get out. He reached out his hand, just like Aeron had once done. He did not seem frightened, and most certainly not threatening. Lumea hesitated about what to do.
“What are you doing here?” he asked in a light tone of voice. “Are you lost?”
He seemed to want to help her. The realization was a relief, and she relaxed. Before she could answer, though, Elion appeared behind the man and ran his dagger into the man’s back. The one emotion that registered on his face as he slid to the ground was surprise. He looked up at Lumea with questioning eyes as she watched him fall. She felt her stomach turn.
The worst thing, however, was the glow of pride that she could see in Elion’s eyes. Blood dripped
from his dagger and onto the floor. Lumea screamed and pushed the elf aside, running out of her improvised chapel. Elion called after her, but she did not stop. She grew dizzy as she made her way to the room where Siard had made his own camp. When she opened the door, he saw the paleness of her face. She blindly tried to find support from the wall. Siard was with her in two steps and helped her to sit down.
“What happened?” he asked.
The question released a floodgate of tears, making it impossible for her to tell him. All she could do was shake her head. Finally, Siard lifted her from the floor and carried her to a couch. Then he left her for a few minutes to fix her a cup of tea. With each sip she became more calm.
“He’s a monster...”
“Who is? Lumea, who are you talking about?”
Elion chose that moment to come into the room. He had disposed of the body, hoping that if anyone found it they would think that the fugitives had already moved on. Lumea looked at him with eyes filled with loathing. His clothes were drenched with the man’s blood.
“You killed him! He only wanted to help me and you murdered him, and you were proud of it, too... You monster!” She spat the words at him.
Siard got up and took Elion to the next room.
“What happened out there?”
The elf told him the whole story, while he showed the weapon that he had found on the man.
“All I want to do is protect her...” He sighed deeply. “Why doesn’t she understand that?” Then he suddenly became furious. “How dare she think those things about me? She detests me, and I don’t deserve that!”
“You’re right, Elion, but why not give her some time to get over this shock?”
Elion nodded thoughtfully, looking at the young man in shame. “She was right, you know, I was proud when I killed that man. I felt powerful and that scares me. But it’s not for the reason she thinks. I was proud because I was able to protect her.” They were silent for a second.
“What else could I have done?” he asked hesitantly.
“Nothing. You did the right thing, and I will tell her that. In the meantime, I think it would be best if you stayed here while I try and talk to her.”
The young man walked back to the other room, where he knelt next to Lumea to show her the weapon that Elion had found.
“That man was carrying this thing, and I’m sure he would have used it, too, if Elion hadn’t been there. He did what he had to do. He saved your life, Lumea.”
As his words sank in, she became calmer. He made her some more tea, and she held the cup in both hands, as if she were cold. She was terribly tired, but every time she closed her eyes she saw the eyes of the dead man and the way they had looked up at her from the floor. She wondered who he was, if he had a wife and kids who would now miss their father.
The other eyes she kept seeing were Elion’s, and the look they had held at that moment. How could he just kill the man? Had there really been no other way? And how could a murder make him feel pride like that? Confusion, anger and sadness fought for emotional primacy in the whirlwind of her emotions, but in the end, sleep won out.
The next day she could think more clearly and she remembered everything that had happened. Her anger had not completely abated yet, even though she knew he had killed the man to protect her. His actions went against everything she had ever learned. When she sat up, she saw Elion smiling at her uncertainly. He got up, and she smiled back at him, though with less enthusiasm than before. Not knowing what to do with the situation, the elf sat back down.
“I hope you’re not expecting my apologies, because I can’t offer them,” he finally said.
Lumea shrugged. “I have mourned all the dead people we have on our consciences, but I know why they had to die. This man was different, though. He did not seem like a threat. I was shocked to see you stab him.”
Siard had also gotten up and came to stand next to her. Lumea looked at him.
Lumea said, “I know you were right, it was him or me. But that was still not the right way.” Then she spoke to Elion again. “I will never forget him. Under any other circumstance he could have been a good person.”
Elion nodded. “I will always remember him as well, Lumea.” Getting up again, he walked over to the couch and stopped next to the woman. “I only wanted to protect you, and I was proud that I had done just that.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I called you a... that I insulted you.” She lightly touched his hand. “Thank you, Elion.”
Even though the conversation had closed this episode between them, the tension did not dissipate so easily.
During breakfast they discussed their next course of action. They had been safe enough up until now, but the chance of getting caught had grown exponentially. Siard decided to go out and explore again, hoping to discover something that would be of some help them. As he wandered through underground rooms, his eye fell upon a large metal object, suspended from the ceiling with long cables. Walking around it, his hand drew a trail in the deep layer of dust. At the front of the thing there was a window, so he quickly wiped away the dust there to peer inside. In the dark he could just discern some instrument panels.
Walking around it again, he saw that it was shaped somewhat like an oblong fish. He concluded that it was a submarine, so he happily called the others to share in his discovery. They soon figured out how to open the door, and Siard climbed in to study the controls. He was confident that he would be able to make it work.
Some days earlier they had found a map, which they thought depicted a network of underground waterways. It had explained why Lumea had not felt the ground under her feet when she’d taken a swim on the first day. They had disregarded the map at first, because it did not have much use in the tunnels, but now they took it up again in order to try and decipher its meaning.
There were no words written upon it. All they could see were curved lines in different shades of blue. Here and there were numbers paired with arrows that pointed in different directions. There were also some green areas that seemed to indicate land, and each held symbols of varying sizes within. Lumea assumed that the size of the symbol had something to do with the importance of the place, but none of them knew what the symbols actually meant. Elion gave up, and Siard went to study the control panel again, but Lumea kept looking at the map. She had never been able to let a puzzle go unsolved, so she spent hours pouring over it. There were times when she folded it and tucked it into her belt, but it never left her thoughts for very long.
At the same time, Siard tried to get the submarine going. Studying and pressing buttons, he made lights turn on and off, or produced a buzzing noise, but otherwise he could not make the machine move.
Sometimes Elion sat with Siard in the cabin, though most of the time he walked around in the room, not knowing what else to do. He was often lost in deep thought, and Lumea assumed it still had to do with Gîsal. Once, when Elion withdrew into a different room, Lumea walked over to Siard.
“I’m worried about Elion. He seems conflicted by this Gîsal situation.”
Siard shrugged, saying, “He has to judge Gîsal by his deeds, not his origin. For a long time he suspected that humans masterminded Hydhraga, but that was no reason for me to...”
Elion walked back in and Siard stopped talking.
“Oh, don’t stop now, I’ve already heard enough.” He sounded irritated.
Lumea walked over to him. “Siard is right, though. And it won’t hurt to talk about it. I want to know whose side you’re on, next time that we’re in a fight.”
“I think I’ve already proved that I’m on your side. You hardly thanked me for it last time.”
Lumea closed her eyes. “That’s not fair.”
Siard spoke up in her defense, saying, “Then tell us what you’re thinking, Elion. Do you think Gîsal is right to seek revenge or do you disapprove of his actions?”
“Gîsal should not have used those elves to his own ends. Now that he has, I don’t feel connected with him i
n the least. He is my enemy.”
“So why are you still thinking about it so much?” Lumea asked.
Elion turned to Lumea with an annoyed look in his eyes. “Why can’t you ever just be happy with my answers? You seem to live in some kind of delusion that talking solves everything. Well, guess what, it doesn’t. You’re too young to realize that it only serves to rip open old wounds.”
Now it was Lumea who could not hold back her anger. “Okay, so wallow in your grief and pain that you claim you don’t feel. Try to solve everything by yourself, and, by all means, treat me like a child if that makes you feel better. I’ll tell you what, though, as much as you keep telling me that I don’t know anything, you don’t know the first thing about me either. So I will forgive you for still despising me, even after everything that has happened here. I thought that I had proven myself worthy to you by now, but apparently I was wrong, since you’re obviously still looking down upon me. I hope that one day you really will be as wise as you think you are now.”
She turned on her heel furiously and left the room. Though she had gotten used to men thinking less of her because of her gender, it still rankled her that Elion was one of them. The elf looked at Siard questioningly, but the young man shook his head disapprovingly.
“She doesn’t deserve your contempt, Elion. You need to decide who your friends are. Thinking about that might help you forget about those other things.”
20
Lumea was hanging around in a corner of one of the rooms when she suddenly had an idea about the map. Grabbing a lamp, she got up and opened the door. Elion turned around and looked at her with raised eyebrows and a question in his eyes. She hesitated for a second before motioning for him to follow her. As usual, they had not spoken about their disagreements, and just as usual the tension between them remained palpable. On the other hand, she did not want to be alone after what had happened with the worker. Siard looked up to watch the door close behind the two of them. Then, he turned back to the control panel and hesitantly pushed a button. Nothing happened.
City of Illusions Page 14
