At the moment, it was 8am in the morning, and I was getting ready because I wanted to be there when my daughter woke up. Jude had gotten on me about not spending my nights here consecutively, and even though I didn’t see the problem, I just obliged. Right now he was the gateway to my money, and until my contract was up, I didn’t want to have a bad relationship with him. Actually, I didn’t want one with him, contract or not.
I’d already showered, brushed my teeth, and spread lotion over my body, so all I had to do was slip on a comfy t-shirt dress and my sneakers. I had no photo shoots or anything today, which surprisingly I was happy about, so I planned to just hang out with my daughter all day.
“Where are you going?” Laine startled me in the semi-dark room. She was usually still asleep at this time, or over Mischief’s.
“Gym,” I replied.
“In a dress? Cassie, what the hell is up with you?”
“I…” I stared at her so she bucked her eyes telling me to continue. “I have a daughter, Laine, and every morning I make her breakfast, unless I have a job to do, and if so I make her lunch. And every night I make her dinner and put her to bed.”
“A daughter? Why didn't I know this?”
“No one knows because for one, I wasn’t really close with anybody until you got here, and secondly, her father is out of his mind and I don’t know who he knows.”
“So you’re running from him?” she sat up.
“Yeah, and I have been for a while. I umm, I’m not from Oakland, I’m from Tennessee, but I fled to Oakland some months back because of him. He’s abusive, a lunatic, and he has the means to find me and I don’t want to help him in anyway. So Laine, please keep what you know a secret.”
“Of course.” I could tell she was still pondering. “Is he like a drug dealer or something?”
“No, he’s a lawyer.”
“Wait, how old is he, Cassie?”
“He’s forty-five. He was forty-two, and I was only seventeen when we started our relationship. He was pretty nice to me, and he bought me things because my mom didn’t make a lot of money. One thing led to another and I was pregnant at seventeen and gave birth by the time I was eighteen. After I had my daughter, he turned into someone else and started beating me all the time, physically and verbally. It was just… a nightmare.”
“Wow, what the fuck? Does he have a wife?”
“No. I wish he did so she could occupy his time. I’m sure of this because he moved me into his mansion two months after we met. My mom was furious.”
“That’s terrible. But if he does find you, know that I have your back and won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”
“Thank you,” I half smiled, grabbing my purse from the bed. “I will see you later this evening, and remember, don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
I quickly left out, allowing Laine to process all that I’d told her, while hoping she didn’t say a word to anybody, not even her boyfriend.
By the time I made it to my mother’s new condo, it was around 8:45am. I hoped my daughter didn’t wake up before I finished making her waffles, because she usually got up at 9am on the dot. I rushed up inside, and went straight into the kitchen to get started, and in the middle of me cooking my mother crept in, tying her robe around her body.
“Morning,” she spoke dryly before sitting at the table.
“Good morning. I’m making waffles and—”
“How much longer before I can go back to my life in Memphis? I’m not here to just do whatever the fuck you want me to, Cassandra.”
“Ma, I told you by the time my contract is up, I will be able to take over for Melody full time, meaning her living with me. But I already explained that I didn’t want you back in Tennessee. Miles is dangerous!” I continued cooking, annoyed by her refusal to understand me.
“I don’t like it here!”
“Why? There are plenty of things to do, and you don’t have to pay any bills. All I ask is that you live here with my baby until I can.”
“Figure out a faster way, Cassandra,” was all she said before rising from her seat and leaving the kitchen.
I finished making breakfast, and then prepared plates for both Melody and I. When I was done, I went to wake her up and brought her into the kitchen so we could eat together.
“Mommy, can we go to the park today?” Melody messily stuffed food into her mouth. I missed her so much while she was up in Oakland.
“Yeah, we can. What made you want to go?”
She just shrugged in response as she continued to eat.
“I don’t like living with granny anymore.”
I paused eating my food because I was surprised to hear her say that. Melody loved her grandmother.
“Why, baby?”
“She’s the grumpy dwarf now,” she giggled and so did I.
“You’re so silly. But soon, it’ll just be just you and me again, okay?”
“And Daddy?”
I just stared at her innocent face for a little bit, attempting not to cry in front of her. I never allowed her to see me cry, even when Miles would beat the shit out of me and the pain was unbearable.
“I told you we’re on vacation, a girl’s vacation, remember? So it’s just gonna be us for now, and Daddy will come later, okay?”
I had to breathe between words because the tears were coming up. I didn’t quite know how to tell her that she would never see her dad again if it were up to me. The only reason he didn’t have me charged with kidnapping was because he didn’t want people to know he’d made a child with a young girl from the hood. Thank God for that.
“Mhm. I like vacation, but I miss Daddy.”
I changed the subject so we talked about other things, mainly a couple toys she’d spotted on a commercial and wanted. Out of guilt for having to leave her all the time, I of course agreed to buy them. After we finished eating, I bathed her, brushed her teeth and hair, and then took her to the park like she’d asked. We then went to Toys R’ Us, and then Baskin Robbins, before I brought her home to play with her and the new stuff for hours. I didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t want to hear Jude’s mouth about me not coming home.
Once I had Melody back in bed, I checked on my mother, who was in her room reading and eating out of a box of pizza.
“I’m gonna go.”
“Back to that pimp’s house?”
“He’s not a pimp, mother, he’s more like a manager.”
“What manager makes you live with him?”
“It’s because we do a lot of events together, and most of the girls are from out of town so it makes it easier for them to adjust. I explained this to you. Most of them were broke when they came out here, like me, and we know California is on the steep side as far as… everything.”
She just waved me off and bit a piece of her pizza. My mom had always been hot and cold for as long as I could remember. Some days she’d act like she loved more than anything and did whatever I needed her to do. Other days she made it seem like she couldn’t stand me and I’d killed her favorite dog.
When I stepped outside of the condo, it was dusk since it was already around 7pm. This would be the earliest I’d be getting home in a couple weeks. I decided to stop by the 7-Eleven liquor store so I could get a little carton of ice cream to snack on tonight. As I scanned the ice cream flavors in the freezer, I heard some guy talking and joking loudly as fuck with one of the cashiers. His voice got closer, and when I looked to my right I saw Kordell stop at the slushy machine.
“Oh shit,” he commented just as I rolled my eyes and dipped through the next aisle so I wouldn’t have to walk by him.
I stood in line, impatiently waiting for the cashier to ring up the person in front of me. But no, this nigga had to make conversation with every damn body. When I finally got up to him, Kordell walked up and set his oversized slushy down with my things.
“I’m not paying for you,” I snapped, annoyed by how good he looked and smelled. His golden-brown dreads
were hanging down, with the front ones tied to the back like always. He was wearing a white t-shirt that showed how fit his tall ass was, even though it wasn’t tight, jeans, Chucks, and a gold chain that laid nicely against his chiseled pecks. Nothing special, but he looked so good to me.
“I didn’t ask you to.” He handed his card to the cashier.
“And I don’t need you to pay for me either.”
“Too late.” He took his receipt from the cashier and nodded to him to say goodbye.
I hurried out of the store and went straight to my car, but of course he was right on my heels. One of his steps equaled about four or five of mine, so it was no mystery as to how he’d gotten to me so quickly.
“So you ain’t gon’ say thank you to a nigga?” he leaned up against my door so that I couldn’t pull it open.
“Can you get off the car, please?”
“Not until I get a thank you,” he grinned, nibbling on his full sexy bottom lip. God himself created this fine ass nigga.
“Thank you. Now can you please move. You may break the fucking door if you keep leaning on it like that.”
“You act like a nigga is fat or some shit.”
No, you’re perfect.
“You’re not fat but you’re one hundred feet tall and fit, so I know you’re heavy as hell. Get off,” I gripped his bicep covered in tattoos. Just the feel of his skin and muscle had me feeling frisky.
“So you’ve been checking my body out is what you’re saying.”
“Kordell, please get off the car. I’m tired, and I have a photo shoot tomorrow afternoon, so I need my rest.”
“Aight, look,” he glanced off, rubbing his hand against his low cut facial hair. “I wanna know if we could hang out or some shit one of these days.”
“No, I will pass.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t like the way you treated me and I told you that so please, just move before I fuck you up.”
“Good luck with that,” he frowned, obviously not moved by my threat. “I mean you agreed to go home with me, Cassie. Can you honestly blame me for thinking I could fuck the first night?”
He was kind of right so I just looked away before regaining eye contact.
“I may have overreacted a little bit, but that’s because I’m dealing with stuff.”
“Like what?” he quizzed and I groaned. “You said last time that I wasn’t trying to get to know you so now I am.”
“Yes, but it’s cold outside and I… I just don’t get why you’re so interested in hanging out with me. There are girls checking for you daily, so why not get one of them.”
“Because my focus is on you right now. Maybe I will get to them next week.”
“Okay, you know what—”
“I’m fucking with you. Damn, you’re fine as fuck and I wanna be in yo’ damn presence. Stop acting like you don’t wanna fuck with me because I know you do. Been looking at me like you want me to bend your ass over the hood of this car for the past five minutes so quit fronting.”
“Is being disrespectful a gene in your family? Because you and your brothers are ridiculous. Well, except for Chaz.”
“Except for Chaz? That nigga just be acting like he’s so damn nice in front of y’all. He’s an asshole too, trust me. But anyway, I wanna do something soon.”
“Fine, we can do something, just not tonight. I’m tired and I have to work tomorrow.”
“Make sure you answer when I call or I’m gonna pop up on you when you least expect it.”
He got up off the car finally, and moved in closer to me. My face was hitting right under his chest because of how tall he was. I tilted my head back some to look up into those dark eyes, while inhaling the scent of his cologne slowly and steadily, as if too much of it would make me dry hump him in this parking lot.
“So-someone is gonna steal your car,” I whispered, hoping he’d back up off of me some. Music was blasting from his vehicle across the lot, and the driver’s side door was wide open.
“Not if they know what’s good for ‘em.” He didn’t move an inch, so we were still chest to chest, or head to chest.
“Okay,” was all I could get out before he walked off back to his car, which was a smoke gray Dodge Challenger with dark tint.
I climbed into the Lexus, and just watched him from my rearview mirror before smiling uncontrollably.
Mischief
Cardio said he needed to have a talk with me, so I was inside of my studio working until he got here. I wasn’t sure what he needed to talk about, but it better not have anything to do with the money he owed me for his mixtape. If so, I would be forced to break my foot off in his ass. I was like a damn pimp when it came to my muthafuckin’ cash. If you didn’t have my shit you would pay with your face.
As I bobbed my head to the music, the door of my studio opened and in walked Ashley from that girl group I wanted to work with a while back. They’d still been at it, getting a lot more exposure, so I really didn’t know why her ass was here.
“What’s good? You need something?” I stopped the music and turned my chair. She sat down in the extra seat next to me, smiling, but I was stone faced.
“I wanted to know if you’d still be down to work with us. We found another guy, Tenny, but he’s not as good as you.”
Tenny was an L.A. producer like myself, and a lot of times people felt like he and I were in competition. I wasn’t in competition with anybody but my damn self, and honestly, it was a compliment to compare me to him since he’d been doing this shit way longer than I had been.
“Tenny is good.”
“Yeah, but you’re great. And to me, his stuff sounds the same with just a few differences. But you, it’s like when I hear a beat I know you made it, but it doesn’t sound like your other stuff.”
“Thanks.” I turned my hat to the back so I could see her.
“So what do you say?” she scooted closer to me so that her knee was touching mine.
“As long as y’all got the bread and every one of y’all knows I’m not interested in fucking.”
“How would you know that already?” she grinned. Just as she touched my leg, my phone rang and I saw it was Laine. Wasn’t no bitch about to have me ignoring mine, so of course I answered.
“What yo’ fine ass doing?” I smiled into the phone while clicking around on the computer.
“Wondering where you’ve been all day. You didn’t text me back earlier.”
“The last thing you said was ‘okay’.”
“And?”
“That’s usually the end of a conversation, baby.” I looked over at Ashley who rolled her eyes and popped her gum loudly as hell on purpose.
“Not in a relationship, Shai. You start up something new to talk to me about. And I sent you a picture after that anyways,” she chuckled.
“Aye, we done. I’ll hit you up when I get some openings and see what’s good.” I pulled the phone from my ear to speak to Ashley.
“I wasn’t done talk—”
“We’ll talk later.”
Ashley sat there for a second, before rolling her eyes again and standing up. She switched out on purpose, and I ain’t gon’ lie, I did look. After the door was closed behind her, I put the phone back to my ear to speak.
“Was that a girl?” Laine quizzed.
“An artist that was female, yes.”
We laughed in unison.
“She better be talking to you from across the room or from within that booth.”
“She was standing by the door, actually,” I joked.
“Whatever, nigga,” Laine laughed.
We continued talking for a little longer before Cardio’s ass finally showed up. He was looking distressed, which let me know it was about my damn money. I tapped my waist to make sure my gun was locked there, but then reminded myself that I was trying to change. The most I needed to do was knock his ass upside the head, not kill him. I was working on my temper, and Laine seemed to be helping me with that. That doesn’
t mean if it came down to it I wouldn’t fill a nigga up with some heat, it just meant I didn’t want to develop a reputation for giving my artists dirt naps.
“What’s good with you?” Cardio dapped me up before sitting down where Ashley just was. “You worked with some people today?”
“Yeah, my brothers recorded today and that dude Yen. But what did you wanna talk to me about?” I didn’t have time for all the bullshit. He needed to come right out and say he ain’t have my money so I could bust his grill.
“That’s what’s up. You’re making money out here and—”
“Cardio.”
“Aight, so I met with that label, and they listened to basically my whole catalogue. They loved most of the songs, not all of them. The ones they fucked with were all produced by you, and the ones they didn’t like of course were produced by other niggas.”
“I’m sorry, why the fuck you have me out here for this?”
“Because they only want to sign me if I let you produce my whole album. And they wanna meet with you about producing for some of their artists.”
My heart was damn near beating out of my chest hearing this shit. It was like I’d been dreaming of this day for the fucking longest and it was kind of happening.
“Word?” was all I could say with my eyes widened. This was hella good news, but I didn’t understand why he looked so glum. “What, you don’t want me working your whole album?”
“Shit, nah, I do. Absolutely. I only allowed other people to do so because I was cool with them and didn’t wanna hurt their feelings. I just feel like the label ain’t really fucking with me without you and that’s not cool.”
“I get it. But I mean, who gives a fuck my nigga? Just take that deal, make the money, and do what you’ve been working hard as fuck to do.”
I hated crying ass niggas.
“Of course… yeah, I am, I just… well anyway, that was it. I was gonna call you but I just thought in person would be better.” He stood up.
“Yeah, well thanks, man, this made my night.” As he started towards the door to leave, I asked, “Do you have their number or card? Or how is this supposed to work?”
He paused and without turning to face me he said, “I gave them your information so they should be in touch soon.”
My Baby Is a West Coast King Page 15
