“Wildcat!” E hissed angrily. “Make some damn noise!” Slapping his hand hard across my backside, my body jumped in answer, but I refused to cry out. I refused to allow this man the satisfaction of hearing any more of my pain.
Pulling himself free of me, he flipped me onto my back, and again he buried himself deep inside me. Gripping my jaw, he forced me to look at him once more. “Cry for me, Wildcat,” he demanded, glaring down at me.
Looking past him, I focused on nothing, my mind retreating once again to the past. To Jami, and then it was only Jami I saw, only Jami that I felt.
“You stupid whore,” E sneered. “You’re just a stupid whore no one wants.”
Knowing he was only trying to get a rise out of me, that he got off on this, I choked out a bitter laugh. “I’m not a whore,” I said, “and I have plenty of people who love me.”
And I did. My parents had loved me. Shawn had loved me, Leisel and Thomas had loved me. And Jami, maybe even he had loved me. They were the only ones who mattered, whose opinions of me mattered. Not this man; he didn’t matter. He never would.
Cursing, E grabbed a handful of my hair and fisted it tightly. Gripping me like a rider would a horse’s reins, he resumed pumping his body into mine. Faster, harder, more painful and angry than before.
I started to laugh then, laughing through my tears and pain, allowing myself to fall even deeper into the oblivion, and closer to Jami.
• • •
Leisel
Untangling myself from Alex, I blinked groggily in the semi-darkness, then sat up in bed and glanced around the empty room. Getting to my feet, I headed for the row of windows and peered down below. There was no horde, no black wall of death off in the distance. There were, however, several infected clinging limply to the fence, their bodies black and charred.
Pressing my face against the dirty glass, I attempted to see even farther out and discovered much of the same. Infected, burned to a crisp and all hanging haphazardly from the fence. I had to admit, I was surprised and a little impressed at how easily it had been to hide from the horde, especially inside a camp this size, and with this many people.
Returning to the bed, I took a seat beside Alex. “Hey,” I murmured, shaking his arm. “Alex, wake up.”
“Hmm…” Reaching around my waist, he smoothed his hand over my stomach, traveling upward until he was cupping my breast, squeezing it while gently thumbing my nipple.
“Again?” he muttered, pressing his hips into my backside.
“No,” I admonished, giggling softly. “Stop it. It’s nearly dark, and Eve isn’t back yet. I think we should go look for her.”
Yawning noisily, Alex attempted to push himself into a sitting position using only one hand, the other still firmly attached to my breast. Once sitting, he pulled me closer, nearly into his lap, still kneading and twisting the soft flesh.
Unwittingly, my eyes began to close, my mouth opening in a silent moan. Reaching behind me, I looped my arm around Alex’s neck and turned my head, bringing our mouths together.
“I want more,” he said, sliding his tongue past my lips.
“So do I,” I whispered, gripping his hair and deepening the kiss. I let go, for just a moment, before pulling back. “But we need to find Eve.”
With a sigh, he released me, his hands falling away. Blinking, gathering my wits, I rolled off him and out of bed. “You destroyed my dress,” I said, picking up the shredded material and wrinkling my nose at it.
Alex grinned at me, a look on his face that I would never tire of seeing, so starkly different from his typical stony expression. “I also got you a ton of new clothes.”
“True,” I said, already reaching for the bag of clothing Grannie had given me. After digging through it, I pulled free a small pair of men’s dark blue Dickies and a black tank top that had been patched over many times with colorful scraps of material. I dressed quickly, then slipped into my new pink slipper boots. I looked ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than anyone else around here.
“Are you coming?” I asked Alex, who’d yet to get up.
Sighing again, he stood up, giving me a full frontal view of his naked body. I took it all in, from head to toe, admiring every perfectly sculpted inch of him.
“If you keep looking at me like that,” he said, looking up through his dark lashes and rubbing a hand across his jaw, “we’ll never leave this room.”
“I can’t help it,” I whispered, smiling. “You’re really nice to look at.”
After he pulled a dirty red T-shirt over his head, his eyes found mine. The burning intensity I’d seen in them earlier was back, searing me where I stood. God, this feeling, this incredible mutual attraction… I could have never predicted this turn my life had suddenly taken.
“Come here,” he said, his voice deeper than usual.
I took a step forward, my breath hitching in anticipation, when an odd noise from the hallway gave me pause.
I turned sharply, glancing at the door. “Did you hear that? Like crying or something?”
“Yeah,” Alex said with a frown, suddenly serious. “Stay here.”
After pulling on his pants, he headed for the door, freeing the padlock and gripping the knob. The door swung open, softly hitting against the wall as Alex stepped out into the dimly lit hall.
“Lei!” he called out, his voice panicked. “Come here!”
I ran after him, through the doorway and into the hall. Glancing down, I found Evelyn sitting on the floor, her shirt ripped wide open, her breasts on display, her arms hanging limply at her sides. From what I could tell she was covered in tiny bruises—her neck, her cheeks, her breasts and arms. Having been well acquainted with them for several years, I knew exactly what they were from. They were fingerprint bruises.
“Eve!” I cried, dropping to my knees. She turned her head, her bloodshot and tear-swollen eyes meeting mine. “Who did this?”
More tears welled in her eyes, spilling over and cascading down her dirty cheeks. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered through her choking sobs.
My eyes widened. “It does so matter!” I yelled. I wanted to pull her forward, take her in my arms and hold her, but I wasn’t sure that touching her wouldn’t hurt her. So I settled for taking her hand, bringing it to my face and pressing a kiss to her palm.
“Who did this?” I repeated, glancing up at Alex. His eyes were still burning, only now there was a different sort of fire within their depths. He wasn’t just angry, he was livid.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said again, drawing my attention back to her. Then she surprised me by suddenly smiling through her tears. “I got us what we need, a truck and supplies.” She took a shuddering breath. “We’re getting the fuck out of here.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Evelyn
The water sluiced down over my skin, barely lukewarm but feeling scalding hot against my bruises and bite marks. I washed the wounds carefully, wincing every so often. They were healing rapidly, especially after two days of bed rest, Leisel and Alex taking turns waiting on me hand and foot despite my protests.
Even after the horde had passed, for two more days Purgatory had remained silent, no one wanting to risk alerting such a large group of infected to our whereabouts. The clubs had closed and the market was empty; the entire place had remained in stasis until just this morning.
With its awakening we’d had a visitor, a girl in her early teens. At Liv’s request, she informed me that I would be fighting in the arena this afternoon. She’d given me a pitying look before taking off down the hallway, leaving me with a sense of foreboding in the pit of my stomach.
Shutting off the water with a sigh, I reached for a nearby towel, wrapped it firmly around my body, and stepped out of the small shower cubicle. Although a metal tub with a pulley system attached to a garden hose could hardly be called a shower, it was the best damn shower I’d had in weeks.
There were a few other women with me, one with two small children, but no one paid
anyone else any attention. I stepped around a pile of someone else’s clothing and headed for the counter where I’d left my own. After finger combing through my wet, but clean, hair, I donned one of the new outfits Alex had managed to get for Leisel and me—a pair of faded black cargo pants and a dark blue T-shirt that actually fit me surprisingly well.
Once dressed, I stared at my reflection in one of the many broken mirrors that lined the wall. I looked pale, maybe even sickly, and far skinnier than I’d ever been before. There was something else too, a hollow look to my eyes that I’d never noticed, maybe because it hadn’t been there the last time I’d taken a good look at myself. I tried to remember the last time I stared in a mirror, and couldn’t. Though I’d taken care of my appearance while in Fredericksville, I’d never just stared at myself. I’d never wanted to, and maybe it was because of this very reason. From the fear of what I’d find.
There had been many times, over the course of the last four years, when I’d felt worthless, useless, little better than something to be used and easily discarded. But I’d refused to admit it out loud, refused to look at myself while I thought those horrible words. But after E, after the way he’d treated me and my body… Forget the brand on my wrist, I actually felt branded now. Branded by E, and branded a whore.
And today was going to be the first time that I would see him since…
He hadn’t raped me. I had agreed to it all, and I had no one to blame but myself—not even him. He was purposefully vicious with me, purposefully aggressive and cruel, but I had known he would be. I swallowed thickly, feeling bile creeping up my throat. I shouldn’t have been thinking about E, not with my upcoming fight.
“It’s just sex,” I whispered to my reflection. “It’s just sex,” I repeated louder, willing myself to feel stronger, glaring at my sad, pathetic reflection.
We’ll be out of here soon, I told myself. With a truck, weapons, and food. We’ll continue traveling south, continue surviving. Together. As a family.
“Fuck this place,” I murmured, and forced myself to smile. I refused to be ashamed of what E had done, of what I’d done. I had a plan, a way to get us out of here, a way to protect Leisel and myself from the madness of this place. And that was all that mattered.
“I’m not a fucking wildcat,” I whispered, chuckling darkly. “I’m a goddamn lioness.”
I laughed again, a sickly sweet laugh that did nothing but make me feel less like myself and more like a stranger.
“Eve? You in here?” Leisel’s soft voice carried across the room, echoing off the cold ceramic tile.
“I’m here,” I replied, still staring at my reflection.
As she came up behind me, my eyes flitted to her reflection, watching her gaze graze across the visible bruising on my neck and arms. She hid her reaction well, quickly meeting my eyes with a kind smile. I wanted to laugh, thinking back to how many times I’d done the same to her, hiding the disgust I was feeling for the man who’d hurt her, hiding the pity I felt for her. How quickly our roles had been reversed. Now I was the one who needed the comforting, and Leisel the one offering it.
Leaning in, she wrapped her arms around my middle, resting her chin on my shoulder, still smiling at me. Covering her hands with my own, I returned her smile. She looked so happy, so at peace, and it was a beautiful thing to see. My pain—any pain—was worth it to see that contented flush in her cheeks.
“You know I’m sorry, right?” she said softly. “I didn’t mean any of it, not even a little bit.”
“I know, you’ve told me.” My eyes again met hers. “A lot.” I smiled.
She nodded once and looked away, apparently not wholly convinced that I believed her. She wore her guilt like a badge, visible for all to see, as if she believed that she owed it to me to feel bad. When in truth, it only made me feel worse.
“You ready?” she asked carefully.
She was worried about me, about the fight, about what happened with E, but she was being strong for me, trying to help shoulder my burdens. I appreciated that more than she’d ever know.
“Almost,” I said, nodding. Tying my hair up into a tight bun on top of my head, I turned to face Leisel. “Are you sure you want to be there?” I asked her. “I have a feeling it’s going to get ugly.” And I don’t want you getting upset, I added silently.
Leisel’s lips pulled back in a surprising snarl. “Don’t you ever ask me something so stupid again, Evelyn.”
I started to smile, a genuine smile, as I reached for her. “I love you, Lei,” I whispered, crushing her to me, ignoring the pain it caused my body.
Hugging me back, she squeezed me tighter than she ever had before. “I love you too, Eve.”
“Promise?” I asked, choking on my own emotion.
“Promise,” she said. “Always.”
• • •
The makeshift arena was located outside, at the far end of Purgatory’s south side, and situated only a couple of dozen yards away from the gate. It was a simple setup, several thin metal poles jutting up from the ground with rope fashioned around them to create a ring of sorts, encircling a small beaten-down stretch of lawn.
Cages of infected, like the ones at the Drunk Tank, were here as well, at least four that I could see as I quickly scanned the area, trying to take in as much as possible as quickly as I could. The infected were wild, riled up and crazy for blood, making the ones at the bar seemed almost subdued. I tried not to look at them, their rotted sallow skin, balding heads, and snapping mouths—even without teeth, all of it only making my churning stomach worse. But I could hear them, above all the yells and catcalls as I entered the arena, their groans of hunger standing out above the rest.
Alex was there among the gathered crowd of spectators, waiting for us. Leisel went to him, slipping her hand in his and smiling up at him while I scanned the large crowd, my nerves kicking into overdrive when my gaze found E. He stuck out, even in a crowd this size, his large frame and thick Mohawk overshadowing nearly everyone else. His face was a mask of calmness, though his dark gaze spoke of death and violence.
Tearing my gaze away from him, I glanced back to Leisel and Alex.
“Don’t spill too much blood,” Alex said, trying to smile. “Don’t want to be slipping all over the place during my fight.”
I tried to smile as well, but we both only ended up grimacing at each other, neither of us liking what we had to do.
“Just a few more days,” Leisel said, her eyes darting between us. “And we’re out of here. Right?”
“Right,” Alex said, nodding down at her.
I nodded as well, pulling Leisel in for a quick hug. “Definitely,” I said, but I didn’t share their optimism. I was still at the mercy of E’s generosity, and who knew when he’d come through for me.
As I headed toward the makeshift ring, I found E easily among the crowd again. His eyes were still on me, his hard, unwavering gaze seeming to suck the energy straight from my bones, making my arms and legs feel like jelly. Attempting to avert my eyes, I found it difficult, feeling myself unwittingly looking at him over and over again.
The crowd grew more agitated. People shouted as I made my way through them, their arms held high, hands full of food, clothing, or bottles of homemade liquor. A chalkboard had been set up near the fence, where a scruffy-looking man was taking bets, writing down names, odds, and amounts. A caged infected had been placed near him, yet he was oblivious as it growled, rattling its cage as it reached desperately for him.
I reached the ring at the same time Liv did, her pink hair shining even brighter beneath the sun. Her hands were wrapped possessively around another woman’s bicep as she dragged her under the rope and shoved her into the ring. She was a bony little thing, my opponent, with a lithe ebony body and raven-black hair. From her mannerisms, I guessed that she was a dirty fighter, probably lacking any real skill. She looked at me, her eyes flashing cold and empty, while Liv smiled a cruel, knowing sort of smile that suggested to me this was going to be anything
but a fair fight.
Behind Liv, Jeffers stepped into the ring, his arms spread wide in welcome. He appeared older in the daylight, tougher and meaner as well, his age more apparent in the daylight. The strip of gray in his hair looked almost white, a stark and menacing contrast to his black locks.
“Fighters ready?” he shouted loudly, beckoning us both forward with his fingers.
My opponent and I moved forward until we were toe-to-toe. This close to her, I could see the scars covering her body, hundreds of them crisscrossing her face, neck, and arms, and I began to wonder if I’d misjudged her. She’d quite clearly had her share of fights, and yet here she stood.
“Today for your gambling pleasure we have a new challenger for our reigning champion, Miiiiiis-ty!”
At the mention of her name, Misty thrust her clenched fist up into the air. The crowd answered with an unholy roar, chanting her name over and over as well as screaming for my blood.
Misty wasn’t paying them any attention, almost as if she couldn’t hear them. Her eyes were fixed on nothing in particular; she looked toward the sky, the ground, anywhere but at me or the crowds. Liv, however, was staring at me. Grinning at me, actually.
“Straight from the wild, we have Eve!” Jeffers turned to me with a grin. “Some might even call her a wildcat!”
The crowd roared again, and my stomach turned somersaults at the mention of my nickname. Chancing a glance to where I’d last seen E, I found him still there, his tattooed arms crossed over his chest as he stared at me.
“Fighters!” Jeffers continued. “To your corners!”
As Misty retreated to where Liv was waiting for her, I returned to my corner, ignoring the small stool that had been placed there in favor of searching the crowd behind me for Leisel and Alex. I found them easily, noticing Alex first, pushing his way through the crowd as Leisel hurried after him.
I turned back to the ring, still sensing E’s intense gaze on me as the crowd fell silent. It was a deathly sort of silence, like a dark shadow that swallowed up the light, shrouding everything in blackness.
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