I blinked at her, staring blankly into her big brown eyes that were surprisingly dry. I was still angry, yet not exactly sure now what to do with my emotions. “Two for two,” I said callously, angry that she’d been forced to kill two men now. Men who’d hurt her.
“Yeah,” she mumbled, looking away.
“I’m sorry,” I hurried to say. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just sorry you had to… I’m sorry I wasn’t there…”
Frustrated, I struggled to find the right words, feeling awful that once again I hadn’t protected her, and even worse that someone, another greedy man, had dared hurt her. A building sob burst free from my lips and I quickly covered my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut.
Feeling dizzy again, my newly digested food churning sickly in my stomach, I lurched forward, stumbling my way across the room and dropping down onto the armchair. Holding my head in my hands, I looked down at the floor, noticing for the first time that I was still wearing my sneakers, my blood-stained sneakers. My stomach churned again and I had to fight not to gag, not to sob, not to beat my own self bloody from the unfairness of it all.
“We have bigger problems, Eve,” Leisel said, kneeling down beside me. “Because of what I did…killing him.”
Lifting my head, I looked her in the eyes. “What?” I snapped. “What the fuck do we have to do now?”
“Whatever Jeffers and Liv want us to do,” Alex interjected. He sounded exhausted, but more so, he sounded defeated.
“They’re making him fight again,” Leisel said. “Tomorrow night. They’re never going to let us leave here, Eve. They’re saying we owe them, for killing two of their people.”
I jumped up from the chair, anger thrumming through me. “No!” I shouted. “We’re not staying here, we’re not spending another day here!”
“We don’t have a choice.” Pushing himself away from the door, Alex shrugged. “Whatever plan you’d worked out, it’s shit now. I’d pretty sure no one leaves here unless they’re carried out in body bags. They want us to think we have choices, when in reality this place is no better than a prison camp.”
Smoke and mirrors, I thought, stewing silently. It had all been an illusion. There was music here, food, entertainment, not for the sake of giving people a sense of the past, but to keep them within the gates, under the control of Jeffers and Liv.
Without looking at either Leisel or me, Alex headed for the mattress and dropped down heavily on it. Rolling onto his side, he faced the wall and his body went utterly still. Leisel glanced between us, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth, her indecision clear.
“Go to him,” I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing, my thoughts aflutter. “I need to go see someone.”
• • •
The night was still warm, the marketplace empty and silent as I made my way through it. Metal barrels were lit throughout, lighting my way to my destination. Though I was alone, I was armed, a gun tucked into the back of my pants and two blades secured at my hip. I wasn’t leaving anything to chance anymore. In fact, I’d never leave anything to chance ever again.
Turning a familiar corner, I found myself somewhat close to the entrance of the camp, but still far enough away that the guards on duty wouldn’t notice me. Leaning up against Dori’s building, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited, ready to wait all night if I had to.
Time passed slowly, or quickly, I couldn’t be sure without a watch. There was really no way to tell time in the dead of night, with everything still and silent, the sky unchanging. Eventually I heard a shuffle, a strong determined gait across the pavement, and a moment later E rounded the corner.
Surprised to see me, he widened his eyes and slowed his steps as a smile curved his lips. “You waiting for me, Wildcat?” he asked smugly.
Moving to come closer, I put my hand up. “Stay where you are,” I gritted out, my heart rate spiking.
Pausing, he raised his hands in a defensive gesture. “Don’t be like that,” he said with a chuckle. “We had fun, didn’t we?”
“Fuck you,” I snarled.
He laughed again, his tongue darting out to run slowly across his lower lip. “Right here?” he asked, then took a small step forward, his smile growing wider and infinitely more menacing. “Or right here?”
“Again, fuck you,” I spat.
“You look a little beat up, you sure you can handle me right now?” He took another small step forward.
My hand went for my gun, whipping it out from behind me and aiming it at his chest. “Take another step, asshole,” I growled. “And it’ll be your last.”
He chuckled again, entirely unfazed by my bravado. “What’s a man got to do to catch a break with you, Wildcat?”
Keeping my gun trained on his chest, I didn’t respond. There was nothing left to say. He’d gotten what he wanted, and now it was time for him to pay up.
“Where’s my truck?” I finally asked. “Where’s everything you promised?”
His smile fell away, his dark eyes growing even darker. Sighing heavily, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I’ve got it,” he said.
“Where?” I snapped.
“What’s the rush?” He cocked his head to one side. “You got places to be?”
“I’m leaving,” I said. “Tomorrow. First thing.”
Why I was trusting him with this information, I didn’t know. But what choice did I have? If the truck wasn’t ready, if he didn’t have what he’d promised me, we wouldn’t be able to leave. While my winnings had been plentiful, they wouldn’t last us for any real length of time.
His dark eyes narrowing, E took another cautious step in my direction. “You sure that’s wise? I know what went down tonight, what happened with your girl. According to Jeffers, your man is indebted to him. You try and leave before that debt is paid, it ain’t gonna end well for any of you.”
He was only three small steps away from me now, his chest only a hairbreadth of a distance from the barrel of my gun. I was nearly trembling at his proximity, and from the unreadable look on his face. This man was a wild card, his dark eyes unreadable, his cryptic words, his carefully calculated actions all pieces of a puzzle that didn’t seem to fit together.
“We’re leaving,” I said, hoping I sounded stronger than I felt. “And I want everything you promised me inside the truck and ready for us by morning.”
He grinned. “You giving out orders now?”
“I’m the one with the gun, E,” I sneered.
“That won’t always be the case, Wildcat. Fact is, it doesn’t have to be that way for you anymore.”
A moment passed where he only stared at me. Then another as his eyes searched mine, for what I didn’t know.
“I could be good to you,” he eventually said, all former pretense gone. There was no smug grin, no swagger to his movements. He stood before me a man, nothing more and nothing less. It was surprising and yet…it wasn’t.
“I’m not all bad, Wildcat,” he continued, his gaze sincere. “At least, I wasn’t always this way.”
Maybe if this had been our beginning instead of our end, my answer might have been different. But this wasn’t the beginning, this was the end, and there was nothing here for me, nothing for me to find with E. And he’d only helped me to see that, to solidify my decision.
“I don’t care,” I said, shrugging. “We’re leaving.”
He seemed to expect my answer, his expression unchanging except for his eyes. Flat and dark, yet in the face of my indifference to him and his confession, they’d gone suddenly ablaze. Taking a step back, he nodded.
“You sure I can’t change your mind?” he asked coldly, his usual hard exterior firmly back in place.
“Where, E?” I demanded, ignoring his question. “Where is the truck?”
In one swift movement, he’d grabbed hold of the barrel of my gun, wrenching it to the side and bringing my arm with it. Stepping forward, he pressed his chest against me and lowered his head to mine. “What’s he have that I don
’t?” he growled. “What do you see in that little boy that I can’t give you?”
I didn’t bother to struggle, already knowing that fighting against his strength was futile. Instead, I glared up at him. “He’s a good man,” I hissed softly.
“He’s nothing,” E hissed back. “He’s young, stupid, doesn’t have the guts to do what it takes to get by in this world.”
My laugh was soft, yet full of mocking. “He does,” I said. “You know he does. You’re just jealous that he’s better than you, better than you will ever be.”
As if I’d burned him, E dropped my arm and immediately backed away. A muscle ticked in his jaw.
“South parking lot,” he gritted out. “Dark blue Jeep. Keys are in the glove box. I give you anything better, and it’ll be missed.”
“What about everything else?” I asked. Keeping my eyes on him, I took a sideways step in the direction I’d come.
Unblinking, his eyes met mine—cold, dark and murderous. “I don’t ever go back on a promise. It’ll be there come sunup.”
Answering him with only a single nod, I turned to go.
“Wildcat?”
I paused, yet didn’t look back. “What?”
“How you gonna get through those gates? Past the guards?”
Briefly closing my eyes, I silently cursed myself before turning around to face him. He was right, I had no idea how we were going to get past the armed guards and through the gates, having planned on driving straight through them if it came down to it. Turning, I found E looking rather smug.
“I could help with that. There’s another way out of here…” He shrugged, though the gesture was more ominous than any simple shrug could ever hope to be.
“What do you want?” I asked, already knowing and dreading his answer.
Interlacing his fingers, he began individually cracking his knuckles, the sharp sound stark against the silent night, echoing off the wall behind me. “Everything comes at a price, Wildcat. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
He took a step forward, gesturing to the space I’d just vacated. “Right here?” he said.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Leisel
What did they always say about best-laid plans? That they often go astray? Yes, well, then they would have been correct.
This whole plan—from leaving Fredericksville until right up to this moment—now seemed to have been doomed from the very beginning, as if every step we’d taken toward progress had simply been another step in the wrong direction. And now the three of us sat here in our dilapidated room, waiting for the minutes to tick by until we could either find freedom once more, or be punished and kept against our will. Yet again.
Our troubled journey so far all seemed to be just a series of mistakes and unfortunate circumstances. Evelyn and myself, Alex and Jami, had run off into the night, fleeing Fredericksville with only the intention of leaving. And Jami had died. A heartbreaking loss for poor Evelyn, something I knew she still hadn’t given herself time to properly grieve over.
Then we’d stopped in Covey, a seemingly destroyed and silent ghost town, in hopes of finding food, gas, and shelter, only to end up kidnapped by religious zealots and nearly made a meal out of. And more people had died.
And the man in the cabin, the one with the little girl who’d been bitten. I’d tried to help her, tried to comfort him, yet she’d died anyway, and in his grief the man had disappeared, his fate unknown. But I could only presume that he was dead now too.
And here, in Purgatory, a place we’d come to in hopes of finding supplies, of finding a way to continue surviving, only to find another version of Fredericksville, another version of Covey, another version of that man in the cabin, losing his daughter…and meeting with only more death.
It was just a continuous onslaught of death lurking in wait at every corner. No matter what we did, we couldn’t seem to run fast enough or far enough to escape it.
The pain, the suffering, the struggle, it was never ending, much like the barrage of bullets I’d put into that man the night before, like the number of times I’d driven that blade into Lawrence’s body, like the amount of tears I’d shed.
We should have learned by now that nothing was ever easy in this world. Yet, like children, we remained forever hopeful, optimistic that just once something would go right for us.
We were wrong. That was just the way of the world now, and people like us, those who hadn’t let go of the old ways, who couldn’t let go of the hope that eventually something had to give and change for the better, we had no place here. We were doomed much like the infected were, forever walking the earth, trying to fulfill a need—a hope—that could not be fulfilled. Because there was no good in this world now.
Our belongings were already gathered, our weapons strapped to us, our clothing and food packed neatly in backpacks procured from Grannie, everything ready and waiting for us to flee. And so we waited, sitting silently in our darkened room, just waiting for what was going to happen next.
With the rise of the sun had come a knock on our door. We glanced at one another uneasily, the tension palpable. None of us wanted to open the door, to be the one that let in the crippling disappointment we already knew was waiting for us.
“It could be your friend?” I whispered to Evelyn. “The one you said would meet us at the Jeep?”
Wide-eyed, Evelyn glanced toward the door, her red and swollen nostrils flaring. “No,” she whispered back. “He wouldn’t have come here.”
Another knock sounded, this one louder than the last. Sighing, Alex pulled his gun from his pants and stepped toward the door. With his hand on the knob, our eyes met, and in them I saw all the things he couldn’t say, didn’t know how to voice. He was sorry, sorry that he wasn’t the man he’d wanted to be for me. Sorry that he hadn’t done more to protect me, to protect us all.
I stared back at him, hoping that he could read me as well as I was him. Hoping that he saw my gratitude, that he could see how much I didn’t blame him, not for a single thing that had gone wrong. Instead I wanted him to know how thankful I was for him, for everything that he’d done, for the happiness he’d given me by simply being himself.
He hadn’t just loved me, he’d freed me. He’d given me back hope, trust, and pride in myself. He’d given me everything that Lawrence had stripped from me in our poisoned marriage. And I loved Alex for that. I loved him for reminding me that not all men were bad, that there were still men like my beloved Thomas alive.
I loved him for helping me to love again.
Alex seemed to understand this, the silent message I was willing him to receive. It seemed to strengthen him, to give him the courage to open the door and once again shoulder whatever burden was handed to us.
As it turned out, it was only a boy, no more than ten years old, with short, scruffy hair and innocent eyes. The boy thrust a piece of paper toward Alex without saying a word, and as soon as Alex grabbed it from him, he took off running down the hall with barely a second glance. Alex unfolded the page, and as he skimmed it quickly, his features pulled tight in annoyance.
“It’s for you,” he said, looking up at me, both apology and anger written on his face. “You have to work tonight.”
“Nobody’s working tonight,” Evelyn snapped. She glanced from me to Alex. “We’re leaving. Are you both ready?” Her look was almost daring us to disagree with her.
Whereas I nodded numbly in response, Alex seemed skeptical. “Who is this guy, Eve? How can you be sure he’s going to follow through?”
We’d been over this so many times already, Alex repeatedly questioning Evelyn on who her secret friend was, and Evelyn refusing to give any details. I had my suspicions, mainly that she had traded herself for a vehicle and perhaps a way out of here, but I hadn’t voiced them.
Whatever had happened had changed her, the change was written all over her face. She barely kept eye contact, moving away whenever I got too close. Her shame was evident, but I didn’t want to press her
on the matter. We’d all been through enough, and there would be plenty of time to talk when we were free of this place. If we got free of this place.
“I can’t be sure,” Evelyn answered, sounding exasperated, her expression softening somewhat. “But we’ll never know if we don’t try, right?” She looked to me for support, knowing that Alex believed that staying alive was the better option than dying while escaping. Anything just to keep me safe.
So many times in the last few years, I’d thought I was going to die, and it terrified me. But now, when I thought about the possibility of being killed for trying to escape, or worse, being forced to stay here and do the bidding of Jeffers and Liv… Faced with the choice between those two options, I wanted out and I was ready to die trying. After all, there were far worse fates than death, most of which we’d already lived through.
“We have to try,” I said to Alex firmly, reaching out and laying my hand on his forearm. “We can’t stay here. I won’t stay here.”
His eyes closed again briefly, pain washing over his features before he reopened them and focused on me. “Whatever happens, Lei,” he said, taking my hand. “It was worth it.”
My heart swelled at his words; I wholeheartedly agreed with him. It was worth it, wasn’t it? No matter what happened, after years of misery, it had been worth finding even an iota of happiness. It had been worth it to learn there was someone else in the world, other than just Evelyn and me, who hadn’t succumbed to the corruption and wickedness everyone else had seemed to. Because the infection ran so much deeper than just turning people into mindless cannibals. It destroyed people’s souls.
“I always knew you were a big, fluffy marshmallow, Alex,” Evelyn said, attempting to ease the tension. “Big and strong on the outside, but all ooey-gooey in the middle.” Her hand touched her stitches subconsciously as she forced a pained smile.
Alex slanted his eyes toward Evelyn. “Are you calling me fat?”
“Yes,” she replied, smirking. “Now, get going, fatty.”
• • •
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