by Adam Frost
He took a bite and said, “Why did you do it?”
“The Lemur family owns a string of banks across Japan,” said Neve. “My husband died ten years ago and I have had to run the business by myself.”
“Must be hard work,” said Wily, taking another bite of the apple.
“It is,” said Neve. “I have been waiting for Lenny to come of age so he can take over the family business, allowing me to retire.”
“I see,” said Wily, “but instead he gets into cooking and decides he wants to be a chef.”
“Something like that,” said Neve.
“So why didn’t you just order him to do what you wanted?” said Wily. “I’m sure you can be very persuasive.”
“I tried,” said Neve. “He resisted. He can be stubborn, you see. He got that from his dunderhead of a father. I realized it would be better if I was openly supportive, while doing everything I could behind the scenes to destroy his dream.”
“How did you find Rin?” asked Wily.
“I’ve used her before,” said Neve, “to resolve other … business matters.”
“Well, sorry to ruin your plans,” said Wily, “but I worked out Rin was involved, caught her and have handed her over to PSSST.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” said Neve, blinking her heavy-lidded eyes slowly. “I’m quite capable of handling these matters by myself. For example, you never asked how my husband died.”
Wily’s teeth clenched. Had he underestimated his enemy?
“You don’t want to know?” said Neve. “Well, I’ll tell you. Food poisoning.”
Wily glanced down at his apple.
“It’s the oldest trick in the book,” said Neve. “You walk into this room. See me eating. Assume I’ve been tucking into this food. Whereas, in fact…” Wily could feel his head spinning. “I haven’t touched any of it. Because you see…” Wily’s vision went blurry. “It’s ALL poisoned.”
Uh-oh, Wily thought, biggest mistake ever.
He tried to get up, but his legs felt wobbly. Neve Lemur was watching him with a triumphant look on her face. Just as he was about to pass out, he had an idea. He staggered sideways, tugging one corner of the tablecloth. As he fell, he pulled the cloth and everything on it down with him. He heard splattering and shattering, then everything went quiet.
When Wily woke up, everything was still dark. His eyes quickly got used to the blackness and he worked out he was in a kitchen of some kind. The blinds were down and the lights were off, but he could make out a sink, an oven and a cupboard. He appeared to be lying on a work surface.
“Hello?” he whispered.
A shape on the other side of the kitchen stood up.
“Thank goodness,” it whispered. “I thought you were a goner.”
“Not quite,” said Wily.
“I’m amazed you made it,” the voice said. “You had a huge dose of arsenic in your system. Jolly good job you pulled that tablecloth off or I’d never have realized anything was happening.”
“Oh, you heard that,” Wily said. “Good. I was hoping it might attract someone’s attention. So who are you?”
“Sorry,” muttered the voice. A side lamp was turned on – it was Lenny Lemur.
“Ah, hello, Lenny,” said Wily. “Where am I?”
“You’re in my kitchen,” said Lenny. “Don’t worry, Mother never ventures down here. She always says, ‘I can’t abide kitchens’. I saw you being carried out of the dining room. Mother thought I was in a business meeting, but it got cancelled so I scooted off early. I watched everything from the landing, where the old girl couldn’t see me. I heard Mother giving instructions to the head maid, saying the body should be left in the garage until Aubrey came back. Aubrey’s our butler, you see. Anyway, I sneaked down to the garage sharpish and ferried you here. I worked out you’d been poisoned and mixed up an antidote.” He pointed to the herb rack behind him. “It seems to have done the trick, thank goodness!”
“Thanks… But why did you help me?” asked Wily.
“Because Mother also said something else to the head maid,” said Lenny. “She said, ‘That’s the last of this Megachef nonsense.’”
“I see,” said Wily.
“I also found this in your pocket,” said Lenny, holding up a letter from Charlie Cheetah, asking for Wily’s help.
“So you put two and two together?” said Wily.
“And came up with ‘What the devil is going on?’” said Lenny.
Wily looked at Lenny and breathed in. He tried to pick up any suspicious scents or odours. Was Lenny sweating too much – or too little? Both could suggest he was lying. Wily listened for any shuffling or fidgeting, but Lenny was sitting perfectly still. It seemed he was genuine.
“OK,” said Wily, taking a deep breath. He told Lenny everything. Lenny looked upset, then angry, then very angry, then very upset.
“So Mother never really supported my dream of being a chef,” he said.
Wily shook his head. “Sorry.”
“She wanted me to work in that boring office all day, going to dreary old meetings till the day I died,” said Lenny.
Wily nodded. “You got it.”
“Well, then there’s only one thing for it,” said Lenny, punching his right fist into his left paw.
Wily sat up and said, “Now take it easy.”
“I’ve got to leave for Tokyo pronto,” said Lenny. “It’s the Megachef final this afternoon and I’m meant to be on it.”
Wily smiled. “Great idea. And I know just how to get you there.”
“So where did you leave this flying surfboard thing?” Lenny whispered as they crept along the corridor.
“In a bush in your front garden,” said Wily. “Next to a long hedge.”
“Ah, by the maze. Then let’s go this way.” Lenny pushed a bookshelf aside, revealing a secret passage. “This leads straight there.”
“Perfect,” said Wily. They could still be in Tokyo in time for the show. He ducked into the passage, with a glance over his shoulder. He couldn’t see anyone behind them.
Wily followed Lenny as the tunnel twisted and turned. As they reached a long wooden ladder, Wily smelled something. His nose twitched.
“Someone’s after us,” said Wily. “A marsupial, I think.” He sniffed again. “Quite a big one.”
“Aubrey,” said Lenny. “He’s a four-foot wombat. Must have realized you weren’t in the garage.”
They scrambled through a trap door and found themselves surrounded by hedges.
“We’re actually INSIDE the maze,” said Wily.
“Don’t worry, I know the way out. Unless…” said Lenny.
There was a whirring noise.
“Oh bother,” he said, “I was hoping that wouldn’t happen.”
The hedges around them started to shift.
“It’s a mechanical maze,” said Lenny. “If you switch it on, every two minutes the hedges change places. Makes it jolly tricky to solve.”
Wily watched the hedge in front of him slide across, revealing a new path.
“So we’ve got two minutes before it changes again,” Wily said.
Lenny nodded.
“Let’s get started then,” Wily said, running on ahead.
Behind him, he heard Aubrey emerging from the trap door – and it sounded like the butler had brought backup.
Wily hit a dead end and then another. He sensed he was on the right path, but then all the hedges started to whir.
“Our two minutes are up,” Lenny said, as the maze shifted round and the way ahead was blocked.
“They’re over here,” growled a voice behind the next hedge.
“OK, first we’ve got to get rid of your butler,” said Wily. “Follow me.”
He dived into the hedge in front of them. Lenny looked confused, but dived in, too.
Wily pulled out his kitchen gadget. “Butter knife,” he whispered.
“This hedge is on wheels,” Wily explained. “We just need to detach it from its rails.”
He used the butter knife like a screwdriver and, within a few seconds, it had come free.
“That’s frightfully clever,” whispered Lenny.
Wily peered through the hedge and saw Aubrey and another wombat ambling towards them. Wily tugged Lenny back out of the hedge.
“Now, on my signal, PUSH,” said Wily.
“Righty-ho,” said Lenny.
Aubrey looked up and down the path. “Dead end,” he snarled, “but look – paw prints.”
The hedges around him started to shake.
“Two minutes are up again, sir,” said the other wombat.
“NOW,” whispered Wily.
As the maze started to shift, Wily pushed the hedge he was in towards Aubrey. Aubrey backed away but Wily kept pushing faster and faster.
“Wh-what’s going on?” Aubrey stuttered.
He turned the corner, but Wily and Lenny followed him.
“Turn it off, sir, turn it off,” the other wombat gibbered.
Aubrey had taken a remote control out of his pocket and was jabbing at the button. All the other hedges groaned to a halt, but Wily and Lenny kept moving their hedge forwards.
“It’s malfunctioning!” Aubrey exclaimed, as the huge green shape loomed over him.
“Let’s get out of here,” said the other wombat.
They ran back towards the trap door and jumped inside.
Wily and Lenny stopped pushing and clambered out of the hedge.
“OK,” said Wily, panting. “He’s gone and the hedges have stopped moving. Now you know the way out, right?”
Lenny smiled and nodded. Within a couple of minutes, they were out of the maze and on the front lawn.
“I left my surfboard behind a bush over there,” said Wily. But as they walked across the front lawn, they stopped dead in their tracks.
“Looking for this?” Neve asked. She had five servants with her. One of them, a giant yak, snapped Wily’s surfboard in half.
“Looks like you’ve broken our maze, Lenny,” Neve said. “That’ll have to come out of your pocket money.”
“Mother, I’m twenty-three,” said Lenny. “I haven’t had pocket money for years.”
“Well, that’s something we can discuss,” said Neve. “Let’s go back to the house.”
“There’s nothing to discuss,” said Lenny. “You lied to me, Mother. I’m leaving the business to become a chef. And you can’t stop me!”
Neve sighed. “Very well.” She turned to her servants. “Tie up my son. Kill the fox.”
Wily looked at the giant yak and Neve’s other servants. Could he beat them? He wasn’t sure.
They moved towards him. Wily adopted a kung-fu posture.
The yak sneered.
Wily made a few mock swipes at the air with his hands. He practised a few kicks.
The yak lowered his head and prepared to charge.
“This is your last chance to surrender,” said Wily, trying to look as fearsome as he could.
The yak was about to sprint forwards when he froze on the spot. Neve and the other servants took three steps backwards. They all had terrified expressions on their faces.
“That’s right,” yelled Wily. “Fear my fury!”
At the same time, he heard a roaring sound behind him. The servants scattered.
Wily turned slowly and saw one of Haruki’s robot waiters floating in mid-air. Albert was perched on its back.
“I brought you a new gadget,” said Albert. “Want to try it out?”
Five seconds later, Wily, Lenny and Albert were zooming through the sky, leaving Kobe far behind them. Wily was under one of the robot’s arms, Lenny was under the other and Albert was sitting on the robot’s back.
“It was quite simple in the end,” said Albert. “I replaced its bottom half with a rocket fuel tank. Then I installed thrusters under its wheels and added memory chips so that it could understand more complex commands.”
“Excellent,” said Wily. “And now I must call Charlie.”
Charlie picked up the phone immediately. “We’re on air in two hours,” he hissed. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve got Lenny Lemur with me,” said Wily. He briefly explained how Lenny’s mother had bribed and blackmailed the judges, aided by Rin the Ninja Hamster.
“I KNEW that shrew’s meringue was no good,” Charlie huffed. “So now what do I do?”
“Proceed as normal,” said Wily. “Tell Haruki and Petra that Rin is captured and their ordeal is over. They can keep their jobs if they judge the final honestly.”
“But—”
“In the time available, that’s the best option. There’s no point punishing them now. I’ll be there with Lenny in forty-five minutes.”
“What’s that whistling noise?” asked Charlie.
“That’s the sound of a specially adapted robot waiter hurtling through the air at eight hundred miles per hour with a fox, a mole and a lemur on its back.”
“Oh,” said Charlie. “OK.”
Wily hung up.
They flew north, past Hamamatsu and Mount Fuji.
Twenty minutes later, they touched down in an alley beside the TV studios.
“OK, Lenny, let’s get you inside,” said Wily. “Albert, you stay here and look out for trouble.”
“Trouble?” said Albert, slightly nervously.
“I don’t know how Neve will react,” said Wily. “She may still try to stop this. Can you patrol the outside of the building with the robot and make sure nobody suspicious gets in?”
Albert nodded. “Come on, matey,” he said, tapping a button on the robot’s arm.
“SURVEILLANCE MODE ,” said the robot, and it blasted off into the air with Albert on its back.
Wily and Lenny hurried over to the entrance of the TV studios. The Megachef queue was now a lot longer than it had been three days ago. The animals at the front were being ushered in. Several female animals recognized Lenny and screamed in delight.
“It’s HIM!”
The security guard said, “Mr Cheetah told me you were coming back, sir. This will make my wife’s day, this will.”
Lenny couldn’t help waving at some of his fans in the queue.
“No time for that,” said Wily, pulling him through the door. “The show starts in just over an hour. I need to get you to Charlie Cheetah NOW.”
They dashed through the foyer and got into the lift. As they went up, Wily said, “I should probably phone PSSST and have your mother arrested.”
Lenny shook his head. “If I win Megachef, that will be punishment enough for her. And I WILL win Megachef.”
The lift doors pinged open and they hurried towards Charlie’s office. There was no guard outside today and the door was ajar.
“Strange,” said Wily. He was about to step inside when a familiar smell overwhelmed him.
Hamster.
Too late. An arm shot out of the office, grabbing Lenny by the neck and yanking him inside. Wily dashed after Lenny, but he knew that he couldn’t match Rin’s speed. He heard a thump and a slam. By the time he was inside the office, Rin was standing behind Charlie’s desk. Nobody else appeared to be there.
“Where’s Lenny?” snarled Wily.
Rin nodded at a door in the corner of the room. It was Charlie’s walk-in fridge. Wily glanced through the window. Inside he saw Lenny, Charlie, Haruki Horse, Petra Platypus, Kia Coyote and Shoma Shrew. They were all shivering and a thin layer of frost had formed on their fur.
“All the stars of Megachef,” said Rin. “Looks like I put their dreams on ice.”
“I left you tied up at the top of the Sydney Opera House,” said Wily.
“I remember,” said Rin, her eyes narrowing.
“How did you escape from Sybil Squirrel?”
“I didn’t,” said Rin. “She was pretty tough. But she handed me over to some idiot dog.”
“Julius,” muttered Wily.
“He put me in a prison car with a nice big window,” said Rin. “Easy escape.”
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“So why are you here?” said Wily. “It’s all over. Lenny knows everything – how his mother hired you, what you did to Haruki and Petra…”
“I was hired to stop Lenny winning Megachef. And that is what I intend to do.”
“Well, I’ve got a job to finish, too,” said Wily.
“Of course you have,” said Rin with a half-smile. “That’s why we are now going to fight to the death. Ready?” She assumed a fighting pose – arms up like the branches of a tree.
Wily was nervous, but he didn’t show it. Rin was younger, faster and stronger than him. He needed to think quickly.
“I’m ready,” he said.
He was aware there was a cupboard behind him. As it was Charlie’s office, he was pretty sure it would be full of food. He eased it open. Rin sprang through the air towards him at lightning speed. In the same instant, Wily grabbed the first thing he found in the cupboard and flung it at her.
He was in luck. It was a bag of tomatoes. They exploded on Rin’s body and face, knocking her off-balance. She rolled back behind the desk, trying to wipe tomato juice out of her eyes. At the same time, she pulled open the desk drawer and threw a jam doughnut at Wily, which whistled past his left ear, splattering on the door.
Wily opened the next cupboard and his paws closed round a bottle of honey. Perfect. He squirted it at Rin. Some hit the floor, but some hit Rin, sticking her fur together and slowing her down. Rin responded with a lump of carrot cake and a custard pudding. They splatted all over Wily’s arms and legs.
On the bottom shelf of the cupboard, Wily saw a bag of flour. He grinned, twisted round and flung it straight at Rin.
She dodged and it hit the wall behind her, but it didn’t matter.
As the bag exploded, most of the flour settled on her body, turning her white. The rest hissed out across the room, making it look like they were caught in a blizzard.
