by Rose Pressey
How to Date a Vampire
by Rose Pressey
How to Date a Vampire
Copyright © 2011by Rose Pressey
Smashwords Edition
More in the Rylie Cruz Series:
How to Date a Werewolf
How to Date a Demon
More books by Rose Pressey:
Me and My Ghoulfriends
Ghouls Night Out
No Shoes, No Shirt, No Spells
Rock ‘n’ Roll is Undead
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form, (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, places, and brands are the product of the author’s imagination and not to be construed as real. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Dedication
This is to you and you know who you are.
Acknowledgements
To my son, who brings me joy every single day. To my mother, who introduced me to the love of books. To my husband, who encourages me and always has faith in me.
Chapter One
How to Date a Vampire, Rule #1:
Chilled blood is always a nice choice for dinner.
“Hey, dipshit, kindly remove your hands from my boyfriend’s neck,” I yelled.
The brute had Jack in a headlock. “Watch out, Jack, there’s a table behind you.” Jack Chandler and I had only dated a few times, but I thought the fact that he was fighting vampires for me gave him instant boyfriend status.
My skin tingled and hair sprouted over my body. The familiar itch and tugging sensation that accompanied my transformations charged through my veins. There was no way I wouldn’t get involved in this battle. Even if it meant Jack’s ego ended up bruised. It wasn’t fair to allow a human to battle vampires—not when I was a werewolf.
My mother jumped on the brute’s back. Yes, my mother. She should have whacked him with her pocket book—that thing weighed a bazillion pounds. My father struggled with another goon in the corner. They teetered dangerously close to the grandfather clock. Maybe Dad could tip it over on his assailant. Where was a wooden stake when a girl needed one? Perhaps some heavy silver chains? A crucifix? Throw me a bone here. No pun intended.
A gorgeous female vampire with long, blonde hair streaked with pink highlights lingered in the corner of the living room with a scowl across her face. She hadn’t offered to get involved with the tussle. I guess she didn’t want to ruin her outfit.
I’m Rylie Cruz and I hail from a family of werewolves, a long line of them. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s a curse on me… literally. As soon as puberty hit, my mother had sat me down and explained the Cruz Curse. As the story goes, the youngest daughter of the Cruz name was destined to live a loveless life, never to find true love. A gypsy bestowed the punishment upon my ancestors for the sin of mingling with werewolves. The old hag needed to mind her own business, if you asked me.
I never believed the crazy story, but when my twenty-sixth birthday rolled around, and I was sitting at home on a Saturday night watching Sabado Gigante and eating my weight in beef jerky, I started to believe. How could I not?
“Mama, don’t,” I screamed as I lunged at her.
“Stand back, Rylie. I’ll save him,” she said, as she leapt forward.
Biting a vampire—not such a good idea. I didn’t know the repercussions, but I didn’t want to find out, either. I pulled her off and the goon stumbled backward. Jack climbed up from the floor and braced himself for another attack. Before he made another move, though, he placed his right hand on his neck, wiped the blood, then stared at his palm.
The color drained from his face. Without saying a word, Jack tumbled to his knees, crashing to the hardwood floor with such force that a thud echoed across the room.
I ran to his side and grabbed his arm. “Jack, are you okay?”
My mother stood beside us, panting from the exertion. She wasn’t the fitness type. Her idea of exercise was lifting a fork. What must Jack be thinking? This was the first time he’d met my parents, and here they were in werewolf form.
“I’ve been bitten,” he choked out, holding his hand to his neck.
Jack met my gaze, a slight panic in his eyes. Despite the recent brawl, he still looked gorgeous with his disheveled blond hair and chiseled features. His six-foot frame and abundance of muscles were probably no match for the vampires, though.
This was not good, not good at all. Could I convince him he’d cut himself shaving? Nope. Surely he’d felt the teeth sink into his skin. How could he not? “Um, it’s a little nick. I’m sure it’ll stop bleeding soon,” I said. “We’ll just stick a little toilet paper on it. It’ll stop oozing in no time.”
Had he read the look of alarm on my face? I mean, as if getting in a fight with a vampire wasn’t bad enough, now he’d been bitten by one. Oh boy. Jack probably had a long list of reasons not to date me stuck to his bedroom mirror.
Sirens sounded outside. The vampires stopped their attack immediately. We stared at each other, ready to pounce. The men wore dark suits impeccably tailored to fit every contour of their bodies.
When Jack and I had arrived at my parents’ home, I had barely had time to register the events before things had turned into utter chaos. I’d been at my apartment talking to my mother on the phone when the hooligans burst through her door searching for my Uncle Ernie. Jack and I had rushed over to their house and discovered the vampires ready to attack my parents. Jack had only just accepted my werewolf status when all of this went down. He probably regretted that now.
The female vampire still stood in the corner with a smirk on her face. She was exquisitely dressed in a sexy black blouse and black pants. Large diamond studs dotted her earlobes and a matching necklace dangled around her neck. The look on her face was anything but exquisite, though. Her expression said she wanted to rip someone’s head off and drink their blood from a martini glass.
“We’ll be back. This isn’t over.” The men headed toward the door.
My father let out a growl.
The blonde-haired woman with more curves than a mountainous highway strolled up to Jack. She stopped in front of him, leaned down, then ran her finger across the blood on his neck.
She licked her finger, then smiled. “Tasty.”
“C’mon, Sophie. Let’s get out of here. The boss’ll be pissed if we end up in jail.” The smaller of the thugs grabbed her arm and yanked her toward the door.
All of this over my uncle’s gambling debt? What the hell had happened to my life? One minute I was running my dating service, Get a Mate, the next I was fending off crazed vampires. Wait. Were there any other kind of vampires other than crazed? I’d never wrangled a vampire before and I didn’t really want to start now. I didn’t like to fight anyone. Sure, I’d do it if I had to, but I preferred to remain civilized. Some of the paranormal folks I had come into contact with made that task very difficult, though. Anyway, I was thankful the fiasco seemed to be over without any dead bodies. They’d be back though. Uncle Ernie needed to settle his debt, pronto.
Once the thugs slipped out the back door, I looked to my mother.
“Where the hell is Uncle Ernie? We should just pay off his debt so they’ll leave us alone.”
“I don’t even know how much he owes.” She let go a deep breath.
Jack
stood beside us. I searched his eyes for a reaction to what had just happened. He stared straight ahead as if his thoughts were a million miles away.
I touched his arm again. “How are you feeling? Are you still all right?” He nodded, but didn’t utter a word.
My mother ran over to my dad. The fur had begun to fade from our bodies. I really hated for Jack to see me in this condition, but there was no avoiding it. I also hated for Jack to see my dysfunctional family… ever, much less under these circumstances. I’d probably get the breakup call tomorrow.
“I intend to find out exactly what Ernie’s been up to. Do you know where he’s hiding out?” I asked.
“I don’t know, Rylie.” She shrugged.
“We need to put one of those dog shock collars on Uncle Ernie. Every time he tries to leave the yard it’ll zap him back.” I snorted.
Mama rubbed her temples. “I don’t even know what’s going on. One minute I’m talking to you, then the next we’re all fighting like a bunch of hooligans.”
My father stood, grabbing his pants from the floor. How had he taken the time to remove them before his transformation? I ruined a lot of clothing in the shifting process.
“Did they hurt you?” I asked, looking from my dad to Mama.
“We’re okay. But what about him?” She pointed at Jack.
Jack had collapsed onto the oversized chair next to the fireplace. His eyes were shut, but he still held the side of his neck.
A pounding rattled the front door. “New Orleans Special Shifter Forces,” the male voice boomed.
When my father swung open the door, I expected the pack police to storm through like part of a swap team with assault rifles, body armor, and shields. That didn’t happen. They sauntered through the door as if they’d been invited over for dinner and cocktails. The men stepped just inside the foyer, not offering to move any further into the living room where we stood. They looked around at the toppled over furniture and broken knickknacks. Hadn’t they ever seen a living room brawl before? I picked up a chair and set it back to its right position.
“What’s the problem,” the tall one asked.
Their uniforms looked like any regular police attire with no special markings giving away their werewolf enforcement status. Just navy blue pants and shirts.
“We had to fight off vampires,” my mother said. Her voice had begun to return to its normal raspy tone, but it was still at a high decibel from the adrenaline.
My father stepped forward. “They broke into my home. I suppose their looking for my brother. He has a bit of a gambling problem.”
The officers exchanged glances.
“Ernie Cruz, yeah, we’re aware of him,” the shorter one said.
I didn’t have a lot of confidence in the pack police. I wasn’t sure what had caused my skepticism regarding the werewolf enforcers, but their lack of interest in our plight did nothing to alleviate that sentiment.
“The vampires took off out the back door if you want to go look for them,” I offered, pointing toward the back of the house. “It’s the door through the kitchen.”
“There is nothing we can do.” The tall one made a move for the door.
So that was it? They weren’t even going to glance out the back door. Just as I had figured. Why had we even bothered to call them? I knew they’d say something along those lines. Was there nothing they could do? Or did they not want to get involved with the vampires? As far as I was concerned, the vampires weren’t so tough. Okay, they were sort of tough, but was that any reason not to stand up to them?
“We’ll write up a report, but tell your uncle to leave the vampires alone.” The short one pulled my father aside.
He probably wanted to lecture him about his brother. My father wasn’t his brother’s babysitter. Ernie was a grown werewolf and it was about time he started acting like an adult. I intended to see to it that he did. I wouldn’t allow the vampires to harass my parents… not to mention what they’d done to poor Jack.
I took my attention away from my father and the pack police so I could tend to Jack. His eyes popped open when I reached out to touch his arm. “Those were vampires, right?” he asked.
It would be impossible to fib my way out of this one. “Yes, they were vampires. We don’t normally get into fights with random vampires, you know? We don’t get into fights at all. Well, sometimes with other werewolves, but only when provoked.” I sat on the arm of the chair.
Jack looked up at me with wide blue eyes. In his most serious voice, he asked, “Am I going to be a vampire now?”
“What? No. No, no.” I shook my head and looked away. My stomach turned at the thought. I’d done this to him. How would he ever forgive me? I’d brought him to a home with crazed vampires—not good girlfriend material.
“You don’t sound so confident about that.” He touched my arm.
“I think there’s more to it than just one little bite.” I attempted a smile.
“You think? You think there’s more to it than one little bite? Don’t you know this kind of stuff?” He sounded more alarmed with each passing second.
I guess if I were human and bitten by a vampire, I’d be a little stressed too, so I’d cut him some slack.
“I know a little about vampires. But mostly about the mating and love habits of other paranormals, not that kind of stuff.” I looked at his neck.
He closed his eyes again and leaned his head back against the cushioned seat.
“I could make some calls and maybe find out.”
He opened one eye and peeked at me.
“I know a few ‘kind of nice’ vampires.” I used my index fingers to make air quotes. Maybe I should have left out that part. He didn’t need to know the little details at a time like this.
After a few more minutes, I decided it was time to get Jack out of there. He’d been through enough for one day. The pack police had taken my father’s report, but basically told us to find Ernie and make him pay up. Well, duh, I already knew that.
Chapter Two
How to Date a Vampire, Rule #2:
Sun block as a gift is a nice gesture.
“Is it okay if I drive your car? You don’t look like you feel up to driving.” I didn’t want to tell him his skin was the color of the underbelly of a fish.
“The sun is insanely bright, don’t you think?” Jack shielded his eyes with one hand and rubbed his temple with the other.
This was not good, not good at all.
He opened the car door and motioned for me to get in. “Your chariot awaits.” His statement didn’t instill much confidence in me considering the driver of said chariot acted as if he’d just swallowed a couple sleeping pills.
I eyed him. “I really don’t think you should drive. Here, let me.” I took the keys from his hand. “Get in.” I pointed, then moved over to the driver’s side.
“I’ll be fine. I’m sure you know what you’re talking about. If you say it’s just a nick, I’ll believe you.” His eyes were half-shut as he climbed in the car.
“I really appreciate you coming with me,” I said as I shut the door. “I apologize for getting you involved with something so crazy. My Uncle Ernie, he doesn’t know when to stop.”
“It’s okay. Anything for you.” Jack closed his eyes again and leaned his head back against the seat. And here I’d thought he’d be upset that I hadn’t allowed him to fight for me. He didn’t seem all that crushed.
Looking back at the red-brick ranch I’d grown up in brought on another wave of emotion. I hated leaving my parents after such an ordeal, but the situation with Jack wasn’t looking good. He needed to be home and in bed. The after-effects of the fight would wear off with a little rest—I hoped.
The ride home wasn’t as frantic as the ride to my parents’, but seeing Jack in such a strange state still made me apprehensive. I’d dealt with vampires with Get a Mate, but my experience was limited. I thought being bitten by a vampire wouldn’t turn you. Only if they almost killed you would you become one. Ma
ybe I was wrong. A lot wrong.
As I navigated the streets, I glanced over at Jack every few seconds. Jack and I both had an office and separate apartments in the same building. Jack was a psychiatrist. Needless to say, he’d thought I was a little nutty before he knew the truth about werewolves.
Our building was located in the middle of the oldest neighborhood in New Orleans, the French Quarter. The beautiful architecture surrounding me on a daily basis reminded me how lucky I was. I loved living in New Orleans. Walking the cobblestone streets and hearing the jazz music carry through the air made me feel at home and warm inside.
With his eyes closed and breathing steady, I figured he was asleep. I would have taken Jack to his apartment under normal circumstances. Honest. But in his condition, I felt it best if he stayed overnight with me. The sacrifices I make, right?
Once I pulled the car up to the curb and parked, I jumped out, then led Jack up the stairs of the old building that housed our offices and apartments. Our building was 170 years old and had one of those cute iron balconies on the second floor overlooking the street. Of course, during Mardi Gras my parents commandeered said balcony with about twenty of their werewolf friends. Madness ensued during the event and I never stuck around for the merriment. I didn’t want any part of their festivities, so I bolted out of town during the celebration. It was like the monthly pack meetings times ten. No, thanks.
I’d met Jack when he moved in and opened up his office next to mine. We lived across from each other on the second floor. It was strange dating someone who lived across the hall. If we stopped seeing each other, would I have to move?
I helped Jack up the stairs and through the front door of my apartment. My roommate, Jennifer Matthews, sat on the sofa with her feet stuffed into bunny slippers propped up on the coffee table. With a spoonful of ice cream halfway to her mouth, her hand froze as soon as she saw Jack’s face. “What the hell happened? Where have you been?”
