“You’re so demanding,” Kate teased. “You need to relax.”
Kate gasped out the last word as Butch drove up into her. His body pinned hers against the unyielding wood, his mouth demanding she keep his pace. Everything in Butch tightened until he thought he would explode. He fought for control, ensuring her pleasure before his. Her stomach convulsed, her core locked down on him. Desperate for relief, Butch grabbed onto the ladder as he thrust deeply one final time.
Kate whispered against his shoulder. “Are you relaxed?”
“Honey, I’m so relaxed, I’m not sure if I can get us out of here.”
Kate closed her eyes and held on tightly. “Then don’t. Let’s just stay here.” Kate sighed and turned into Butch’s neck. Tears dripped onto his chest, searing his skin. Her shoulders shook.
Butch kissed her shoulder. “Tell me.”
Kate took in a deep breath and held it. “I think I’m paranoid.”
“It will be okay.” Butch trailed kisses along her shoulder and ran his hands along her hip to soothe her.
“I don’t think it will be. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I don’t see how the outcome can be good.”
“I’m listening.”
“Someone killed off your exes. Now, it seems, he or she has me in their sights even though we aren’t married. The way I see it, this can end one of four ways. One, I get killed before we are married. Two, I get killed while we are married, making you a bachelor again. Three, I get killed after you ruthlessly divorce me, breaking your promise and my heart. Or four, we split up now, and I stay alive but die inside, because I don’t have you.” She tightened her hold on him. “Do you know why I wanted to walk to your parents’ house tonight? I was afraid to start the car. I was afraid there would be a bomb or something, and it would kill you and Tom and Jeb.”
“Oh, no, honey. That would never happen.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t say that. Maybe, I should go away, just for a while. Tom could run the project from here, and I can work on it from Detroit. With me gone, there would be no reason to hurt any of you or sabotage the project.”
Butch took her face in his hands, tilting her head back and looking into her eyes. “No, Katie. No. We’ll find another way. You’re so tired. Come away with me. We’ll go to my cabin in California. You’ll have nothing to do but watch the wildlife, make love in front of a fire, and skinny dip in the hot tub. Come away with me.”
Kate bit her lip and held on to him. “Let’s pack.”
Butch hadn’t expected to accept, let alone so quickly. She worried more than he realized and it shamed him. “We can leave in the morning.”
Kate climbed the ladder. Shivering as her wet skin met the night air, she fought with her dry clothes. Butch unfolded the wadded cloth and drew it down over her stomach. His hands drew farther down, running over the curve of her butt.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Have I told you lately that I love you?”
Kate shimmied her wet hips into the dry denim and stood to face him, topless. “You might have mentioned it a time or two. I wouldn’t complain if I had to hear you say it again.”
Somewhere in the shadows, the brush rustled.
Kate held her shirt over her breasts. “Did you hear that?”
Butch stared into the night. He willed the shadow to take form but saw nothing. “Probably just some animal looking for a meal.” He hoped it was but feared it wasn’t. Butch took her shirt from her hands, pulled it over her head. His gaze returned to the patch of night as he rammed his legs into his own jeans. Skipping socks, he shoved his feet into his shoes and tucked Kate under his arm. “Let’s get home.”
Chapter Twenty
Kate stepped into the afternoon sun wearing the light linen dress Butch had bought her the night before in the little seaside town. She shaded her eyes with a forearm as they tried to adjust to the bright light.
“There’s my sleeping beauty. A few days away from the office, and you’ve come to appreciate the benefits of sleeping in.” Butch hung onto the edge of the swimming pool, goggles pushed up onto his wet hair. “I like the dress.”
Kate ran her hands down the white linen, fingering the embroidered flowers. “I can buy my own clothes.”
“You can buy the practical ones. I get to buy the play clothes.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Not all my clothes are practical.” She sat down by the edge of the pool and let her feet dangle in. “Don’t let me interrupt you.”
“I just have a few more laps to do. I hadn’t worked out since I got home. I forgot how good this feels.” He pulled his goggles back in place and dove.
Kate watched his long, powerful lines cut through the water. The man did have a body on him. Kate looked over her shoulder at the house. Butch called it his cabin. The only similarities between the structure behind her and a cabin were that they were made of wood and surrounded by trees. This cabin was a four-bedroom house with a gourmet kitchen, spacious great room, fitness room, and practice studio. It wasn’t decorated but contained a collection of functional and related items. The great room featured a leather couch, a coffee table, a big-screen television, and a baby grand piano. There were no pictures on the walls, no curtains on the windows, no rugs on the floor.
Two bedrooms had actual beds and dressers. Butch’s bedroom also had a bedside table that held a clock. A third bedroom was only recognizable as an office because of the computer set up on the card table. The fourth room had nothing in it but dust.
Butch had lived in the house for over a year, but it never became his home.
Kate’s favorite space was this back patio, looking over hills and trees. This play-land belonged to the insects, birds, and squirrels. It would take years to absorb the beauty, if she ever could.
“Hey! Katie! You asleep?” Butch swam back to her side.
Kate pulled her feet from the water and lay on her stomach on a mat, propping herself up on her elbows. “No. Just daydreaming. I love the view here.”
Butch smiled wickedly, keeping his eyes focused on her exposed décolletage. “The view is spectacular.”
Kate followed his eyes down and promptly sat up. “I meant the trees. Pervert.”
Butch caught her ankle and pulled her toward him. “That’s not what you said this morning. You’re naked under that dress, aren’t you?”
“Everyone is naked under their clothes. Don’t you dare pull me in. This is linen.”
Butch hooked a finger in her neckline. “You aren’t wearing a bra. Or panties.”
Katie swatted at his hand. “There’s hardly a point with you around. I put them on; you just take them off again.”
Butch smiled unapologetically. “Come on in. The water’s fine.”
“Don’t you get my dress wet. The linen will wrinkle.”
He tugged on her ankle until he could reach her knee. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
Kate swatted at him as she laughed. “You will not. This one is just fine as long as it stays dry.”
“There’s my practical Katie.” Butch grabbed her hand and pulled her into the water with him.
Kate screamed. Butch captured the sound, covering her mouth with his. She planted her palms against his chest and pushed with everything she had.
“You’re ridiculous. The water is cold.” She meant to scold him but couldn’t keep the laughter from bubbling up.
Butch pulled her against his chest and walked up the pool stairs. At the top, he set her on her feet long enough to strip the wet dress from her body, and he carried her into the hot tub. “Better?”
Kate smiled and nodded, snuggling against Butch. “Are you keeping this house?”
“My cabin? Absolutely.”
“This isn’t a cabin. What about the pink house?” Kate had thought Butch exaggerated when he said Fawn painted the house pink. He hadn’t. Every room in the house was pink in some fashion. “I didn’t know there were so many shades of pink. The pink striped room was di
zzying.”
“I’ll sell it eventually. I’ll have to have it repainted, or I’ll lose my shirt on it.” Butch kissed her jaw. “I decided to give Fawn’s estate to her father, after taxes and expenses. Technically, since we were still married, all of it is mine. But I’m going to abide by the pre-nup.”
Kate tipped her head up and kissed his chin. “You’re a good man.”
“He’s a good man, and Fawn gave him a rough time. He doesn’t want any of it—the house, her car, her jewelry. I don’t want it either. I gave Trudy some, which will have to come out of my share. I’ll sell the rest at auction or something.”
“You met with her father yesterday, didn’t you?”
Butch rested his chin on her head. “Yeah, we made the arrangements for her funeral. She’s on her way now. We’re going to have a private service the day after tomorrow.” He closed his eyes and sat still.
Kate hugged him to her. “You don’t want me to go with you, do you?”
“I want you with me more than anything, but…”
Kate kissed his chin again. “I’ll be here for you when you get home.”
“What did I do to deserve you? My practical Katie.” He brushed his lips over hers tenderly, intimately.
Kate laughed against his mouth. “How practical am I? I agreed to marry a man I’ve only known for a few weeks. I should have held out for months. Years even.”
Butch lifted her hand from the water and kissed her ring. “You aren’t going to back out on me, are you?”
“Not a chance. You’re stuck with me.”
His body on Tennessee time, Butch had risen without an alarm in the late morning. More than the time change had him up. Jeb had called last night, letting him know there was no change with Hyde, someone had keyed Tom’s truck, and Kate received some ugly hate mail at the trailer. Butch debated the best way to tell Katie but pushed that off for now. Today, he would bury Fawn. The ceremony would be small. No viewings. No public announcement. Just family and the friends she called by name. Butch used a mirror to knot his tie, something he did only on Christmas and at funerals. His black suit hung in the closet he hadn’t emptied when he went to Tennessee. He used a product to tame his hair and splashed on a judicious amount of cologne. He didn’t recognize the man in the mirror. When had he gotten so old?
A bark of laughter bounced down the empty hall.
Butch found Kate pacing the dining room she’d commandeered into an office, her phone pressed to her ear. It might be nine in the morning here, but at home, the day’s work was nearly half done. “You don’t really believe that?” She padded about barefoot in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt that said “Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.” She laughed again. “You’re so full of shit your eyes are brown.”
Kate saw him standing in the doorway and blew him a kiss. When he caught it and held it to his heart, her smile broadened.
She spoke into the phone. “Of course I can do that. The question is, what are you going to do for me?”
Butch signaled her, pointing at the door.
“Hold on a minute.” Kate set the phone down and went to Butch, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you? You don’t have to do this alone.”
Butch held her tightly, wanting her feel, her scent, to carry him through the day. He needed to do this alone. He needed to take care of Fawn, to fulfill his obligation to her, and having Kate there wouldn’t be right. Not that any of this was right. “We’ve gone over this.”
Kate rose on her toes, waiting until Butch bent down. She pressed a light kiss to his lips. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
The miles between his cabin and the funeral home mirrored the path his life had taken with Fawn. Twists and turns. Detours. Traffic jams. He pulled into the parking lot of a stately funeral home on a quaint corner in the town where her parents lived. Only three cars sat parked in the lot. Butch had come early to stand with her family.
The plush carpet and gentle lighting intended to soothe knocked his morale down a notch. People weren’t gathering today to celebrate a life well lived. They gathered to lament a life lost, a life taken. Just as they had with Angie.
“Hey, Butch.” A thin man came around the corner in a dark suit. Randy Jordan, Fawn’s older brother. “Sneaking out for a smoke.”
Butch accepted the offered hand. “I thought you quit.”
“I did. Don’t tell my mother. I need air.” Randy took a step toward the door then stopped. “If she says anything today, you know, she’s just upset.”
Butch nodded. Taking a fortifying breath, he walked into the room where Fawn Jordan lay.
Grant Jordan looked up from a flower arrangement. “Butch.” Grant crossed the short distance between them. He pulled Butch in for a one-armed hug. “Butch, I just…oh. God. I’m sorry.”
Tall with straight shoulders and salt-and-pepper hair, Fawn’s father usually looked like a man ready to take on the world. The man in front of Butch, fighting back tears, was made of paper.
“I’m sorry, Grant. I don’t know what more to say.”
Grant smiled a brave, weak smile. “What is there to say? We both loved her. I know things didn’t end up so great between you two. I had hoped, well, when she went to Tennessee I had hope it meant you two were getting back together. You were good for her.”
Heat crept through Butch, acid in his veins. He wanted to hide in shame. He had not only not been good for Fawn…he’d been the death of her.
“She deserved so much more,” Butch said. He didn’t know what he meant, he only wanted to ease the pain of the father grieving for his only daughter. “She knew you loved her. You, Nancy, Randy. I know she didn’t always show it, but she knew and loved you back.”
Grant’s mouth stretched into a strained grimace of a smile swamped with misery. “She was a handful, wasn’t she? I didn’t have a gray hair until she entered puberty. The parties and the drama and the boys.” He broke down. “It all went so fast.”
Butch stepped into his father-in-law, giving him a shoulder to cry on.
“I never told this to anyone, but I always worried something would happen to Fawn. Her star was too bright. Stars like hers, they just don’t last. I tried, so hard. I did everything I could think of to protect her from the world and from herself. When she married you, I hoped we’d gotten past the rough stuff. She had everything she’d ever wanted.”
Grief radiated from the man Butch had come to respect and love. He deserved more than days of self-doubt and nights of what-ifs. “It was because of you and Nancy that she was able to have everything. You did a good job raising her. Despite what happened between Fawn and me, I have always been proud to call you my father-in-law.”
Grant stepped back and straightened his jacket. “I know you filed the papers but they weren’t final. You’re my son. Today as much as yesterday.”
Butch choked on the words. Invisible hands of guilt and responsibility squeezed his throat, allowing neither air nor thought nor reason past. You killed his daughter. Her blood is on your hands. “Y-you don’t know what that means to me.” You fraud. You don’t deserve to stand next to him.
A woman in black and gray shuffled past, her skirt ruffling as she walked.
“Nancy,” Butch said. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am—”
“No, you can’t, so don’t bother trying.” Nancy Jordan stood as tall as her husband, her blond hair styled to match her daughter’s. “We gave her into your keeping. This is your fault.”
“Nancy!” Apology strained Grant’s already sad eyes as he issued the admonishment.
Do you take Fawn Margaret Jordan in sickness and in health? I do. “Nancy, I would give anything to change what happened.”
The downturn of Nancy’s mouth telegraphed the depth of her grief and, at that moment, anger. “You left her. How could you do that? She thought the sun rose and set with you. How could you turn her out? She was just a child.” Grief didn’t want truth or facts. Grief wanted to rage. �
��I have only myself to blame. I bought her those tickets and the back-stage passes. It never occurred to me you would mislead such a sweet, young girl. You’re a monster.” She raged as Grant stepped in front of her. “An absolute monster. It should be you in that casket.”
“That’s enough, Nancy. That’s enough. Excuse us, Butch.” Grant held his now-sobbing wife to his chest as he walked her out of the room.
It should be you in that casket.
Butch stood alone. The pretty room with heavy drapes called attention to the open casket in the front of the room. A stand at either end held a large cascade of spring flowers while other baskets sat arranged artistically along the walls.
Butch bowed his head and shuffled to the casket. Death hadn’t taken Fawn’s beauty. Staring at her, Butch didn’t have words. The songwriter, the poet who made his livelihood with words, had none to express his regret for her, for them. “I wish.” What did he wish? “I wish…I’d made different choices. If I had known the path led here, I would have made a change. I would have come to California. We didn’t love each other, but I would have done everything I could to protect you. I just…I didn’t know.” So much worse the crime.
Butch squeezed his eyes shut as he forced down the guilt that swamped him. He swallowed hard, opening his eyes. Another face lay over Fawn’s, a face with cascading red hair surrounding it. “Katie,” Butch breathed, his stomach clenching. “No.” He ground his eyes shut again and swallowed the bile that burned its way up the back of his throat. The threats. The framing. The vandalism. When he opened his eyes again, Fawn’s peaceful face had returned, but Butch couldn’t rid himself of the vision of Kate’s face stilled in death. You’re a monster.
Butch struggled with composure as he stood next to his father-in-law. He bore the weight of the stares and whispers as he greeted those invited to usher Fawn into the next life. His hand felt like glass. How many more hands could he shake before his just shattered?
Weeks before, he’d stood next to Angie’s mother, accepting condolences and offering them in return. So many had come out for Angie, a person of no worldly consequence, while so few truly mourned for Fawn. Who would grieve for Katie?
Lost in Tennessee Page 31
