‘The boys,’ Isla gasped. ‘They might come in.’
‘They wouldn’t dare,’ Sav growled, but feeling her tension he relented, but only for a second. He lifted her effortlessly, his manhood pressing firmly into her as he carried her through to the lounge, kicking the door shut with one impatient foot, then lowering her onto a chair and sliding it over to the door, the temporary barricade all Isla needed to let her own guard down again, to revel in the effect of his touch, the desire that had gripped them, unrelenting as he moved over her. But she needed to see him, her needy fingers wrestling with the buttons of his shirt until Sav pulled it over his head, tie and all. And it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. She took an indulgent moment to marvel at the toned muscular body she had permanent access to, the silky olive skin, the smattering of ebony hair teasing into a snaky line that pointed to his groin. Her fingers teased him as they moved ever downwards, wrestling with his zipper, the need to have him inside her utterly overwhelming both of them. Yes, there were times to take it slow at times to relish each other, to savour the moment, but right here and now they needed affirmation, confirmation…
‘Isla.’ His single word was ragged, bordering on apologetic as he tore her panties aside, plunged into her. But no excuse for fervour was needed when his need was hers, her stifled scream ecstatic as he delved inside, taking her to that one place only Sav could, riding high on the crest of his wave, her ankles coiling around each other, thighs trembling convulsively, until the weight of him descended on her, his head resting in her swollen breasts, his breathing ragged and short as the reality that always beckoned crept back in.
‘I miss you, Isla.’
They were the loneliest words she’d ever heard.
‘I miss us.’
‘I know.’ Her whisper reached him, his face moving that tiny but infinite space to hers.
And she wanted to tell him, wanted to admit how close he’d come to losing her, to ending the nine-year dream that had turned into a nightmare.
But she couldn’t.
Couldn’t threaten this fragile flame of hope with the cold bluster of reality.
‘Mummy.’ An impatient voice broke the moment in the sweetest of ways.
‘So it’s Mummy now,’ Isla grumbled, frantically pulling her dress down as Sav hastily grappled with his trousers. ‘Coming, Harry!’ she called in the brightest, happiest voice she could summon as Sav swiftly moved the chair.
‘The door was jammed!’ Harry protested, stomping in and staring at them both accusingly.
‘I know. Daddy’s going to fix it tomorrow,’ Isla flustered, as a rather red-faced Sav headed to the kitchen. ‘Why are you up at this time?’
‘My tooth came out.’
‘Wow!’ Isla over-enthused as Harry showed her his new gap. ‘You’d better put it under your pillow, then.’
‘Why?’
‘For the tooth fairy,’ Isla answered, trying desperately to keep her voice normal.
‘Tooth fairy!’ Harry rolled his eyes, then quickly thought better of it, a shrewd smile lighting his face. ‘Kevin Miller got three dollars from the tooth fairy last week.’
‘Tell you what, Harry,’ Sav returned, their two forgotten glasses in hand. He handed one to Isla, a rather rumpled T-shirt very out of place with charcoal grey pinstriped trousers. ‘If you get back to bed and stay there, I’ll up it to four dollars!’
‘Five,’ Harry pushed, clearly sensing weakness.
‘Five, then,’ Sav relented. ‘So long as you don’t wake Luke on the way back to bed.’
‘A businessman in the making.’ Isla grinned as Harry gave her a quick kiss and scampered back to bed. ‘You don’t think he heard anything?’
‘Serve him right if he did.’ Sav shrugged, but his normally deadpan face darkened with a blush as it screwed into an embarrassed wince. ‘He wouldn’t have, would he?’
Never had tepid curry tasted so good.
A light romantic film in the background, the glass of heavy red replaced with iced water and Sav adoring her with his eyes.
‘I’m sorry.’
His apology wasn’t that unexpected and Isla’s breath caught in her throat as she looked back at him.
‘I know I’ve been hell to live with, I know I’ve shut you out, I just…’ His voice trailed off but Isla pushed on, determined to build on this new closeness, determined to forge a new start for both of them.
Determined to make this work.
‘Just what, Sav?’ Her voice was gentle, her eyes sympathetic, and after the longest pause he gave a small nod.
‘You remember how my mother cried when I said I wanted to live in Australia?’ He took a long sip of his water before continuing, and Isla nodded as she remembered. Those innocent, happy times when the world had lain at their feet, on the brink of a thousand tomorrows with the certainty their love would see them through whatever lay ahead. ‘I told her that it was the right thing to do, that I loved you, wanted to make you happy, and that in turn it would bring her joy. I told your father the same thing when I asked if I could marry you…’ Tortured eyes met hers. ‘No one’s happy, Isla.’
‘That isn’t your fault,’ she said urgently, and Sav gave a tired nod.
‘I know that. Sometimes I don’t really believe it, but deep down I know it is true. If the accident had been my fault, I couldn’t…’ His voice faltered, his eyes closing for a painful second. ‘But whatever way you look at it, I’ve failed in keeping my promise. I hear the grief in my mother’s voice, see the pain in your father’s face. He’s aged, Isla. In this last year he’s aged a decade.’
‘I know.’ Tears brimmed in her eyes as she recalled her father’s dull eyes, the sparkle in them seemingly gone for ever.
‘I’m a doctor,’ Sav said simply. ‘I’m supposed to be able to fix things to make people feel better, yet all around me, in the people I care about the most, I see pain. My job was to make you happy, and when the boys came along, my job was to make them feel loved and safe.’
‘Sav.’ Tears swam in her eyes, but she held them back, pleased despite the pain that this difficult, proud man was finally opening up. ‘When Casey died I thought I’d never smile again let alone be happy. I couldn’t imagine a single second when I wouldn’t be engulfed, couldn’t envisage a future without my baby. Couldn’t,’ she said again, more forcibly. ‘And then one day I found myself smiling at something Luke said, and after a while I found I’d gone a few minutes without wanting to scream.’ She watched his reaction, tried to read the expression in his veiled eyes. ‘The pain was still there but somehow joy had started to trickle in. I’m starting to understand that the pain’s always going to be there—always,’ she said. Sav gave a slow, loaded nod. ‘But slowly the good times have started to last a little bit longer, come a little more frequently, and one day I hope they’ll outweigh the bad.’
‘I hope so, too.’
Isla could almost feel him slipping away then, the barriers going up again. Only this time Isla didn’t mind, understood perhaps that this wasn’t something that could be resolved in a single conversation, that, like Sav, she didn’t have the power to fix it.
But she could be there.
And later, lying beside him, nestled in the crook of his arm, being held close the way only Sav ever could, Isla knew she’d never have left him.
Knew in that moment that the trips to Karin Jensen, the frantic search for a supposed cure, had been her own knee-jerk response, had stemmed from her own desperate desire to make it all better, to rewind the world to when it had all been OK.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘WHERE’S Sav, darling?’ Flattening herself against the front door as the boys flew past, Carmel Howard smiled as Isla finished speaking to the taxi driver then came up the garden path.
‘He went to get a hair cut around two o’clock,’ Isla answered, rolling her eyes. ‘Then he rang to say he was stuck at the hospital and that if he didn’t get back I was to make my own way there and he’d meet me.’
‘Well, don’t pay for a taxi. Your father can take you.’
‘Where is Dad?’ Isla asked, peering over her mother’s shoulder into the lounge room, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach as Carmel pinked up a little bit and avoided her daughter’s eyes.
‘He’s just having a little lie-down. I’ll go and get him.’
‘Let him rest, Mum.’ Deliberately, Isla kept her voice light. ‘It’s really no problem. Anyway, you’ll probably need both of you to deal with the twins later, they’re thoroughly over-excited of course.’
‘And hungry, I hope,’ Carmel said. ‘We’re going to take them to the new pizza place that’s opened, it’s got a massive—’
‘Playground.’ Isla grinned. ‘I know. The boys begged me to take them there. They’ll have a ball.’
‘Hopefully it will cheer up your father,’ Carmel said, and Isla didn’t answer.
Couldn’t answer.
Glimpsing Sav’s pain again, the guilt, the agony that was eternally rammed home.
‘Go,’ Carmel urged, forcing a smile. ‘You look fabulous.’
‘I actually feel it.’ Isla smiled. ‘Well, not fabulous exactly, but pretty damned good.’
‘Enjoy tonight. Heaven knows, you two deserve it.’
‘We will, if Sav ever gets there. Boys, come and give me a kiss.’
They gave her three each, and an extra cuddle for luck, three smiling faces waving her off as Isla climbed into the taxi. The curtains fluttered upstairs, catching her eye, and she waved up at her father. Peter Howard duly smiled and waved back, but even from this distance Isla knew the smile didn’t meet his eyes, could feel the lethargy in his movements, and she wished again fruitlessly that there was something she could do, something she could say, to make everything better.
The Docklands was a new development and Isla, along with the taxi driver, had never been before, but finally after a few moments poring over the Melways, which was a street directory of the city and a bible to every Melburnian motorist, they found what they were looking for.
‘You’ll have to walk the rest, love!’ the taxi driver commented, peering out at the bustling walkways, utterly devoid of a basic necessity like a road! ‘Do you know where you’re going?’
‘Not really,’ Isla replied, more cheerfully than she felt. ‘I’ll be fine, though.’
Taking her time, she walked along, admiring the high-rise luxury apartments and smart shops, the abundance of trendy bars filled with even trendier people. She wished Sav was beside her as she hated walking into packed restaurants alone, though it was par for the course when married to a busy doctor, but even after nine years she’d never really got used to it.
‘Over here, Isla.’ Jayne’s loud shout greeted her as soon as she walked in. Gratefully Isla bypassed the rather snooty doorman and the impatient queue of hungry people waiting to be seated, and made her way over to the loudest table in the place! It looked more like a combined hen and bucks night than a work do, but that was pretty much the unspoken rule when Emergency staff got together and partied. The stress of such a demanding job ensured that downtime was taken very seriously and the evening ahead would undoubtedly achieve in a few short hours what the work counsellors attempted.
Good food, good wine and a good dose of black humour were very much the order of the day here!
‘Where’s Sav?’ Jayne asked, filling a glass of wine without prompting and handing it to Isla.
‘He should be here soon.’ Isla shrugged, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink, then pulling a face. ‘So long as nothing big comes in.’
‘Where would the hospital be without Sav?’
Heath’s smile didn’t quite drown out the sarcasm, and Isla felt her stomach tighten with nerves as Heath raised a glass. His eyes had a dangerous glint to them and, Isla guessed, he’d either been drinking before he’d got here or was making up for lost time, signalling rather impatiently for the waiter to fill up his glass as he stared openly at Isla. Suddenly an evening of drinking didn’t hold much appeal. Heavy wafts of garlic were drifting from the kitchen and, mingling with her nerves, it wasn’t the most steadying cocktail so Isla decided to give the wine a miss, instead signalling a waiter and asking for a jug of water and a large glass of cola.
‘So, how are you finding everyone?’
‘Marvellous,’ Isla gulped, and then forced a smile, wishing someone else would turn and talk to her, wishing she could be anywhere other than sitting opposite this menacing man. ‘Everyone’s been great.’
‘Of course, you’d know them already.’ Still he stared. ‘It would just be a matter of putting names to faces.’
‘Sorry?’ Isla frowned.
‘I’m sure Sav’s spoken about us all—Jayne, the efficient, friendly but slightly insipid charge nurse, Jordon, the dependable but slightly anxious registrar, and, of course, Heath.’ He let out a low laugh. ‘I can just imagine what he said about me. Well?’
‘Well what?’ Isla responded, annoyed now and refusing to be dragged into his games.
‘Have I lived up to my reputation? Am I as arrogant and incompetent as Sav suggested?’
‘Heath!’ Picking up on the tension, Jayne turned, her eyes swivelling between the two of them then landing squarely on Heath. ‘It’s supposed to be a friendly night out…’
‘It’s OK, Jayne.’ Isla put her hand up. She didn’t need Jayne diving in and saving her. She’d been through too much in her life for this obnoxious, difficult man to even register a blip on her pain scale. ‘Contrary to what you clearly believe, Heath, you’re really not at the top of our list of topics to discuss. We happen to have a life outside the emergency room.’ She watched as he swallowed the drink he was holding in his mouth and almost left it there, almost turned her back and spoke to Jayne.
And for the rest of her life she would wish that she had.
‘I form my own opinions, Heath,’ Isla said slowly, taking a measured sip of her own drink but still holding him with her eyes. ‘Arrogant? Yes,’ she said softly but firmly. ‘Incompetent?’ Placing her drink on the table, she gave a tiny shrug. ‘The jury’s still out.’
‘Here’s Sav.’ The appalling mood lifted suddenly as half the table announced his arrival, and Isla’s eyes jerked gratefully to the door, her heart stilling for a long moment as she watched him enter.
He stood a good head above everyone else. His dark hair had been cut, but slightly differently this time, still the usual smart, short back and sides but the fringe had been left longer, flopping over his forehead. He’d been home and changed, the casual shorts replaced with black jeans. The white T-shirt, which had to be new—unless her laundering skills had upped a considerable notch—was half-tucked into his jeans, showing a thick black belt, and as he walked over she had to sit on her hands not to reach out to him, had to literally hold herself back from running to him.
He was quite simply the most beautiful man she had ever seen.
And from the slightly pink glow to more than a few of her colleague’s cheeks, Isla wasn’t the only one who thought so.
Sav Ramirez was one of those men who could bring a room to a standstill. He had a commanding presence, effortlessly sexy yet still approachable, and the years had done nothing to diminish his beauty. If anything, they had accelerated it. There was the wisdom behind those dark eyes, a distinguished aura that set him apart, and the best bit of all, Isla realized as he unashamedly came over to her, completely at ease he kissed her full on the mouth, his hand snaking around her waist before turning to face the crowd, the best bit of all—he was hers.
‘We’ve ordered!’ Lydia, one of the younger, louder nurses laughed as Sav slipped into the bench beside Isla. ‘Lots of everything, so we can all pile in and share.’
‘Sounds good.’ Sav nodded, smiling up at the suddenly attentive waiter, who seemed to realize that the head of the table had just arrived.
‘Can we have some champagne?’ Sav asked, without checking with everyone else, ‘and may
be some dips to mop it up before the meals start to arrive.’
This was certainly the place for dips! Thick, warm strips of Turkish bread appeared as if by magic and the whole table promptly fell on them, dipping them in the richest dips that over and over mocked the bland attempts from the supermarket. They were thick with garlic and lemon juice, a thousand taste sensations with each and every mouthful, and Isla let out a low groan of approval as she reverted back to the hummus.
‘Save space for the main course,’ Sav said, but Isla shook her head.
‘It couldn’t be better than this.’
Wrong!
As the table got louder the food got better, smoky chicken meatballs, firmly entrenched on Isla’s new list of favorites as Sav found out that Lebanese pizza was almost as good as Spanish.
‘High praise indeed.’ Isla laughed. ‘And these meatballs are definitely better than your mother’s.’
‘Nothing could be better than my mother’s,’ Sav corrected tartly, then grinned to show he was joking. ‘It’s not just the food, though, is it?’
‘No,’ Isla admitted. It wasn’t.
It was about being here with him.
About getting not out of the house but out of their grief, even if only for a small time. About slowly dipping their toes into a world that had been out of bounds for so long now and finding that the water wasn’t as cold as it looked, that it was actually quite warm and inviting.
‘It’s not even about the company,’ Isla added, when their rather dewy-eyed stare had gone on too long, considering they were out in company. Her rather pointed eye roll in the direction of Heath had Sav frowning for a second.
Emergency--A Marriage Worth Keeping Page 8
