by Trout, Linda
“Yeah. They will, won’t they?”
“Definitely. Now what hotel will you be staying at in New York?”
“New York? Didn’t I tell you? Oh, no, I don’t guess I did. I didn’t get the New York internship because I was picked for the one in Paris! Like in France! Oh, my God, Sara. I’m so excited, I’m about to pee my pants.” She giggled hysterically.
Sara smiled at the image of Cat giggling—of all things. Cat never giggled. Laughed and snorted, yes. Giggled? No. It just wasn’t her style. Until now.
Shock hit Sara with the realization her best friend would be on the other side of the world.
She swallowed her sudden and unfounded resentment, but it still left a bitter taste in her mouth. No way would she let Cat know how she felt. “That’s the best news ever! I knew you had it in you.”
Cat took another deep breath. “Would you listen to me? I sound just like some empty-headed twit. But God, I’m happy!”
Sara laughed. How could she be upset when this was what Cat had worked for? She’d put countless hours into her studies, both in the classroom and out. It was the “out” part that had gotten her noticed in the first place. Sara had introduced her to the most upscale shops and owners in town. Cat had made an impression on the right person, who had expedited her entry into the fashion program.
“So, Cinderella, what time does your flight leave? I’ll take you to the airport. That way you won’t have to take a cab and we’ll have a little more time together. Where are you leaving the car?”
“Man, I sure wish I could take the car with me, but there’s no way. Actually, I was kinda hoping I could park it in your garage.”
“No problem. There’s plenty of room. So how long will you be at the school? A few weeks?”
“Weeks? Lord, no. It’s a nine month internship.”
“Nine months?” Sara whispered, shocked and dismayed.
Silence hummed through the line. “Oh, shoot, I feel like I’m deserting you.”
You are.
“Hey, I’ll get an international cell phone so I can call you.” Cat paused, then sighed. “Um, but I think they plan to keep me so busy I won’t have time to look up. You can email me every day. Don’t know when I’ll have time to answer them, but it’ll be great just hearing from you. I’ve got to know what’s happening with tall, dark and grumpy’s investigation on Kaycee,”
Sara’s heart squeezed painfully.
“If this isn’t just the worst timing? Will you be okay?”
Well, at least Cat was aware she was leaving her alone in her hour of need, so to speak. Until that moment, Sara hadn’t been aware of just how much she’d relied on Cat to hold her up. No, that wasn’t right. They held each other up. Now Cat was going off on her own, doing her own thing. Sara was happy for her friend. Truly she was. It was just—she’d be alone. Silence hummed on the phone as neither of them spoke.
“Sara?” Cat asked quietly. “I can turn it down and take the shorter internship in New York. I wouldn’t be so far away or gone for so long.”
A choked sob threatened to spill out, but she held it back. “Don’t you dare! You deserve this. How many hours have we spent on this, working for your dream? You’ve completed courses in half the time. You have a God given talent you have to use. Besides, remember all the times you’ve been snubbed because of your background?”
“Old biddies,” Cat muttered.
“Now’s your chance to show them. If you become the designer to wear, they’ll all be clamoring for your clothes.”
Cat barked a laugh. “It would be cool to rub their noses in it, wouldn’t it?”
“Precisely.”
Another pause lapsed. “I really am kinda scared. This is the first time I’ve ever been to Europe. You sure I won’t make a fool of myself?”
“That’s never stopped you from doing what you wanted before.”
Cat snorted. “So you’re telling me to put on my big girl panties—or thong as the case may be—and just do it.”
“You got it.” She paused as their easy companionship fell back into place. “I am so proud of you. I feel as if my little chick is learning how to spread her wings and fly.”
“We sure have come a long way in a short time, haven’t we?”
Sara didn’t want to talk about what had brought them together. It was too painful, for both of them. Instead, she said, “So I get to take you to the airport. We can catch up on the latest gossip on the way. And do you have time for dinner tonight? My treat, anywhere you like.”
“I’d love to do dinner. Well, um, if I’m going to start rubbing people’s noses in it, can we go to the Belvidere Club? I know it’s outrageously expensive, and I promise to pay you back when I’m rich and famous, but I’d really like to start throwing me around. I mean… What am I saying? Of course it’s too big an imposition. Never mind. Forget I asked.”
“Are you kidding? The Belvidere is exactly where I had planned. Put on your swankiest outfit—I think the purple one is perfect, actually—and I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“Oh, wait. You have to have a reservation. I don’t think—”
“I’ll get us in. Don’t worry about it. You just be ready to shine. This is our night out, and I want to enjoy it. Besides, I have the names of a few places you just have to visit while in Paris.”
“You’re the best. You know that? I’ll be ready to strut my stuff, making every woman in the place envious.”
As Sara hung up, she was still smiling. Slowly it faded, depression threatening to take over—to take her. With resolve, she shoved the feeling aside, determined to be happy for Cat. She placed her call to the Belvidere and secured their table for the evening. If Cat was wearing one of her new creations, then Sara had best find something stunning to wear, too. It was time to pull out the stilettos Cat had insisted she needed and the less than conservative short red number they’d bought on impulse during a “forget all the garbage in our lives” shopping spree. Red and purple. Ha. What a sight they’d make.
At eight, Cat stood on her front porch with her mouth hanging open. Sara had to laugh as the driver helped her out of the sleek white limo. If she was going to give Cat a going away party, she’d do it in style. Propping her hand on her hip, Sara threw her friend a big smile.
“You going to stand there gawking all night or get in?” A glance to her left told her Cat wasn’t the only one gawking. The limo driver stared at Cat and seemed to be on the verge of drooling.
She smiled inwardly. Things were off to a good start. “Come on, Cinderella, your carriage awaits.”
With that encouragement, Cat tossed her head and casually waltzed down the sidewalk in her six inch stilettos as if she owned the world. The driver straightened to his full height and got in on the fun. He made a flourish of helping each woman into the car, unable to keep his eyes off Cat’s chest, which was close to falling out of her dark purple, off the shoulder, mini-skirted spandex dress. A shimmery piece of sheer silk two shades lighter than the dress draped over her shoulders.
When they were both settled, Sara leaned back and laughed.
Affronted, Cat gave her a cold shoulder. “What? Can’t a gal show off her stuff every now and then?”
When Sara finally caught her breath, she deliberately looked her up and down. “Honey, you show off any more, and you’ll be arrested.”
Even in the dim interior of the car, Sara could see her blush. She reached over and patted Cat’s hand. “I wouldn’t miss this evening for the world!”
Cat shrugged before grinning. “Then let’s make the most of it.”
“Agreed.” For the one evening, Sara forced all worries to the background. Tonight belonged to Cat.
At the restaurant, Sara did her best to keep her knees together as she got out. Her dress wasn’t quite as short and tight as Cat’s, but close enough. It also revealed more cleavage than she normally exposed. But tonight was a celebration, both for Cat’s accomplishments and for Sara learning to stand on her own two
feet.
All by herself.
With no one to hang on to.
She tugged the tight red skirt back into place while everyone around ogled Cat as she got out of the car, then shimmied her own hemline down. A fraction of an inch. Cat was eating up the attention. The doorman and limo driver rushed to hold the door, waiting on the two women. Hmm. Maybe I should do this more often.
Sara noticed they also caught looks from the patrons in the exclusive restaurant. The very conservatively dressed patrons. While the men might be enjoying the show, the women around them weren’t. Following Cat, Sara held her head high, ignoring the stares as they were ushered to the best table in the house. It was amazing what money could buy.
Usually.
After they were seated and the champagne arrived, Sara forced her mind away from who might be in the restaurant, even though she could swear she felt someone staring at her. Probably just her imagination working overtime. She’d concealed the dark circles under her eyes the best she could and was grateful for the dark interior of the room. She just wished she could shake the feeling someone was watching her.
She took a sip of her drink and refocused on Cat. She’d chosen to let Cat face the restaurant, telling herself she wasn’t being a coward in the process. The women in this room needed to get used to seeing her friend, because she was going places. Sara just knew it. The fiery redhead was destined for larger things than being knocked around by a man who didn’t love her or for the low paying jobs she’d taken just to get by.
The evening passed in a blur of steak and lobster, champagne, laughter, trying to keep their bodies covered in the skimpy dresses, tears, and lots and lots of girl talk. To be able to forget all her troubles and pretend to be someone else for an evening was exactly what Sara needed.
The Belvidere would never be the same.
****
He watched the two women prance into the restaurant displaying their wares as every man in the place stared…and leered. He’d always thought better of Sara. Thought she conducted herself like a lady regardless of the circumstances. Tonight she’d proven him wrong. She wasn’t any better than every other slut in the world.
All through dinner they flaunted themselves, kept inviting men to look at what they had to offer with their giggling and laughter. How could he have been so wrong about her?
He’d tested her, yet she hadn’t broken. Initially disappointed, he found he liked his games with her. It was a challenge to see how far he had to go before she’d break. As a thank-you for this evening’s unsightly display, he’d have to step up his efforts, see how creative he could become.
“Yes, this will be interesting indeed,” he mumbled.
“What did you say?” His oblivious dinner partner asked.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Already plotting his next move, he finished his meal, but kept his eye on his target.
****
The next two days flew by. All too soon, the women stood in the airport.
“I can’t do this.” Cat looked toward the security screening line with huge eyes.
“Of course you can. You have your big girl thong on. Right?”
Cat’s pinched expression relaxed as she laughed. “Yes, mother. I’m properly dressed. I have my boarding pass, Passport, neck pillow, romance novel, snacks, and money all tucked into my bag. If my knees don’t buckle, I’ll make it.”
“Oh, Cat. You’re going to make it so big your head will spin.”
“Ya think so? What if I say or do something stupid? What do I know about being sophisticated?”
Sara had never seen her friend look so nervous. “You’ll be fine. Just be yourself and you’ll win over everyone in no time. I have complete faith and confidence in you.” It wasn’t a line. She truly believed every word. Cat’s demeanor changed. She stood up straighter and the self-assured woman Sara knew so well reemerged.
“Yeah. I can do this, can’t I? Thanks for reminding me.” Smiling, she gave Sara one last fierce hug, gripped the handle of her carry-on, and headed for the security screening area.
Sara watched as she went through the process, missing the days when non-passengers could go all the way to the boarding gate. Her friend came across as tough and self assured when Sara knew underneath, she still battled low self esteem. Boy, was she about to burst free of that! Sara just knew Cat would do well.
Sara headed back to the short term parking and waited until she knew Cat’s plane had taken off, tears swelling in her eyes as the jet lifted into the afternoon sky. A thunderstorm was moving in from the west. Thankfully Cat would be long gone before it reached Riverbend. Just what Sara needed, a storm to match her dark mood. Why did everyone she love have to leave?
She swiped the tears away and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. With nowhere else to go and nothing else to do, Sara headed home.
The quiet as a tomb house.
Never had she felt so alone. After each tragic loss over the last few months, there had been someone she could turn to—hold on to. Now they were all gone. She had no one to talk to, no one to lean on. The thought of being isolated, of being completely alone, crept over her, making her want to crawl into a shell—to pull a blanket over her head and hide. More than anything in life, she wanted her child back. But she was bone weary, tired of fighting, tired of pushing others to keep looking.
She was just flat tired.
****
Dusk fell earlier than normal as low, menacing storm clouds rolled through the area. Tornado warnings had been issued for most of northeastern Oklahoma. Sara fled to the safe room, glad to escape the howling winds, the booming thunder, and the shaking house. The door firmly closed, she shut out not just the storm raging outside, but also the storms in her life. For a little while, she needed to feel safe. Safe from her self-doubts, her fears—her despair. She longed for the safety she’d had before Jason’s death, before Kaycee’s disappearance. Would she ever feel that secure again?
Except with Morgan.
Unbidden, his image flashed in her mind. Since she’d met him, he’d been there every time she’d needed help.
She shook her head. “No. I will not rely on him. I won’t.” Deep down, though, she had to admit she was lying to herself.
Grateful the eight-by-eight room was large enough for a small bed, she curled into a ball, pulled the pillow to her face and sniffed. She’d hoped there would be a lingering odor of Jason. There wasn’t. Still, memories flooded back. In the secluded room, she’d felt as if they were in a cocoon, just the two of them isolated from the world. It wouldn’t be long before they’d be having hot, passionate sex, groping and playing with each other as if they were newlyweds. The storm that had driven them there added to their passion. Eyes closed, she thought about the last time she and Jason had been in the room. Sadly, it had been almost two years earlier.
As she drifted to sleep, she dreamed of Jason, of the years they’d had together, of the love they’d shared, of her tucked snugly within his embrace. Slowly, something shifted and his image faded, replaced by a dark-haired man with a chiseled face, almost as if he were made of stone. Until he laughed. Then the sound permeated all the way to her bones. Instead of Jason’s assessing gaze, Morgan’s dark eyes devoured her. He wanted her in ways no one ever had. She groaned in protest at the image.
She wasn’t supposed to want him. He was a danger to her. Yet he made her feel safe in a way Jason hadn’t. He accepted her for who she was beneath the exterior. She could just be herself. He wrapped his arms of steel around her, holding her tenderly, belying his strength. He bent his head, his lips a breath away from hers. She wanted him to kiss her, to make love to her. She was ready. Her nipples hardened in anticipation of his touch, his caress.
“Sara.”
The image of Morgan slowly faded, and she struggled to keep it with her. She wanted to feel the weight of his body on hers, to feel him slide into her and make love to her.
“Sa—ra.”
She frowned. “Go away.
” It wasn’t Morgan’s voice she heard. His lips hadn’t moved, only held in suspended animation.
“Sara. I thought you loved me.”
Jason?
She bunched her shoulders, curling into herself. “I loved you. You know I did,” she murmured as she tossed and turned. He could always make her feel small when he wanted.
“Why did you betray me?” his voice whispered in her ear.
Her arms pulled to her chest, her hands fisted. “I—I didn’t betray you.”
“So why did you kill me?” His voice was hard, cruel, demanding.
She jerked awake, drenched in sweat. Disoriented, she blinked. The dim light showcased the bare metal walls. The safe room. She covered her face with both hands, then raked them through her hair as she swung her legs to the side of the bed. “It was just a stupid dream.”
So why did it feel so real? Maybe guilt over dreaming about another man so soon after Jason’s death had brought on the delusions. It was the only logical explanation. No. She didn’t want Morgan Daniels. She’d hired him to find Kaycee. That’s all.
A shudder ran down her spine. She could have sworn Jason had been in the room, lying in bed with her. A perpetual loneliness and need ached within her. But for which man? Her dead husband or the very alive enigma of a man now working for her?
She didn’t want the man who’d kissed her so passionately he’d stirred desires she’d thought dormant. Looking back now, she was ashamed. There was no doubt she’d have made love with Morgan if he’d pressed.
Flopping back on to the bed, she buried her face in the pillow and sobbed. When she was spent, she didn’t bother getting up to go to her own bed, even though the storm outside had passed. She rolled over, faced the wall, and went back to sleep, praying there would be no more dreams.
Of any kind.
Chapter Eight
Sara sat in her car, staring at the building her husband had called his second home. Of course she had been there many times with Jason. When he’d taken over the financially troubled company, she’d helped him—typing memos, filing, even putting packets together to mail to prospective clients. She’d loved it because she had been near him. He always had details to follow-up on, a business to grow, he’d often told her.
