by Alisa Grey
He shouldn’t. But I liked the way he had said that.
We kissed.
«I love you».
He left.
As we were getting ready to go to the village, I was feeling overexcited. I knew it was not as huge as London. But I also knew I needed to see people and breathe some fresh air. The snow was beginning to melt and we would ride to the village. I dressed up properly, though, because it was still pretty cold.
My belly was prominent by then, so I wore a cloak and a hat.
On the way, we bumped into a bunch of Mi'kmaq.
They were natives. They had been living there for centuries and they had lived peacefully with the French. But when the English came along, they were forced to leave. Few remained, though.
There were five man, two women, four dogs and Keir, who seemed to get on pretty well with them. They spoke English and Gaelic.
Keir introduced us.
«These are our neighbours, Mr Campbell. But they won’t be for long».
«Why not?»
Keir explained us the Mi'kmaq were nomads. They moved according to the season. During the winter, which they called kesik, they hunted in the woods. During nipk, the summer, they moved next to the coast. Young men hunting big animals were automatically considered adults from then on. I was stuck and charmed. Were they our friends?
They didn’t seem to care much about us. They were getting ready for a hunt by then. They wore leather clothes and they all got arch and arrows. A young dark-haired woman was looking at me. She had dark skin and a nice face. She was wearing a hat. She was holding a basket filled with herbs. She must have known their healing powers, I thought. I would have liked her to teach me that.
We said goodbye and told Keir not to stay out late.
We bought things for my garden, but I could find two books only. They were children’s books. Sam stayed with me the whole time.
On our way home, it was windy and cold. I was really shaking. I took off my hat, fearing that it would be carried away by the wind. My hair was wet. When we got home, I was in desperate need of something warm to wear.
«I’ll help you dry up and then you’ll go to bed», Sam said.
«You’re wet as well».
«I’m not pregnant, though».
He had a point.
«I need to take a bath anyway», I said.
«Okay, I’ll help you».
He looked for soap and perfumes. He opened the water while I undressed. He suddenly screamed: «I found it!»
I turned to him. He was holding a jar.
«What’s that?»
«Got it from Rhona. It’s a liniment. It’s made of camphor, thyme and eucalypt. I must massage you with that».
«And?»
«It’ll prevent you from catching a cold».
I was not convinced of that, but I got into the bathroom.
He sat on the edge of the bath.
«I’ll wash your hair».
I closed my eyes and relaxed as I entered into the hot water. I liked being touched by Sam.
«Are you cold?»
«Not at all».
He washed my hair and spoiled me massaging my shoulders. He dried me up and caressed my body with the liniment.
I was unable to resist him. When he was finished with the liniment, I hugged him.
«My dear, you must go to bed now», he whispered, but I kissed him.
«My darling...»
He tried to resist me, but failed. He took me to the bed and hugged me close.
When we got downstairs for dinner, Rhona had already left. The house smelt like camphor.
Two days later, Sam went to see Fergus Murphy.
I was reading a book, when I saw Keir approaching. He had a bag.
«May I come in, Madame?»
«Of course, Keir. But Sam’s with your father. He’ll be back any second, anyway».
He looked at me, then he seemed to relax.
«I was looking for you, Madame»
«Me?», I was taken aback.
«Nipniku’s has given me something for you. Remember the lady I introduced you to? Her name means summer moonlight».
I stood up.
«Let’s sit on the sofa».
He was a charming young boy. He might just become as tall as Sam. I sat and so he did.
«There are herbs, Madame. She noticed you looking at them».
I gave me the bag and our hands touched for a second. I felt like his hand was exhitating.
«She is a good observer. Tell her I said thank you».
I was feeling awkward.
«Is there anything else, Keir?»
«Do you know how to use these herbs, Madame?»
I didn’t.
«Not really. Would your friend teach me?»
«I would».
«You?»
«I’ve been taught by them».
I didn’t like that. He was too near and I wanted him to go away.
«Thank you, but I’d love her to teach me. I have other questions that I’d love to ask her». I opened the bag and had a look inside. Sam got in the room.
«Keir! Out!»
Keir stood up and left. Sam looked at him.
When he turned to me, I could see he was angry. He took his jacket off.
I was embarrassed. I hadn’t done anything wrong.
«What happened, Sam?»
«You tell me! Am I old fun to you?»
«Sam... he just brought me some herbs».
He shook his head.
«What shall I do?»
«Sam, I’m interested in meeting his friend. The female friend. I don’t care about him».
«So you are sort of using him?»
«Well, he can speak their language...»
«Do as you please. But I’ll talk to him».
«But...»
He stopped me.
«Claire, I can’t stand that. Men keep looking at you... I hate that».
I hugged him.
«You’re the one I love, Sam».
And I kissed him.
When I met the girl, I noticed her long hair. She had a leather clip. She was wearing a very nice dress and boots. She was smiling and her teeth were incredibly white.
I liked her. Maybe I needed a friend more than anything else.
Sam had taken her into our living room, then he had left. I was holding the leather bag and was unsure about how to start a conversation with her.
«My name’s Nipniku’s», she said.
«Mine’s Claire».
She took the bag and we both sat. She opened it.
«Joe-Pye is for your loins. A-ma-me-li-de is for children’s skin. Sasso-fra-sso is for your blood. Sam-ma-cco: fever. That’s good», she kept on like that.
«You teach me English. I teach you plants».
I was happy with that.
«May I call you Moon?», I asked.
She smiled. «You born when?»
«On March».
«I call you Siwkewi».
A Londonese and a Mi’kmaw.
When Sam and I were left alone, the air still smelt like herbs.
«How did you like your new friend?»
«She’s great! Interesting, independent... she knows so many things!»
«Independent? Isn’t she married?»
«I mean that she’s a free thinker. She’s like me. I have a man like you, Sam, but I’m lucky. Most of the women don’t have husbands like you».
«You really think so?»
«I do. Let’s go to eat. I want to tell you everything».
I was sure he liked me for who I was. But was scared of me as well.
Spring blossomed in. I liked the colours and the sounds of the spring, the birds and the flowers. It was amazing. The leaves were getting greener and greener. I could see the river flowing to the sea. It was so blue and pure. I could smell the woods. I could smell the ocean. I was enchanted. I belonged there.
Moon came to see me two or three times a week. Sh
e sometimes stopped for the night. I enjoyed her company and she was a good English learner. We talked a lot. And my belly kept growing.
Sam was building his stable and in his spare time he taught rugby to the kids.
I was huge. I couldn’t sleep nor breath. But I was happy and I had fun.
Moon and I were sitting on a bench. Sam was playing with the kids.
«Good husband», she said.
I looked at him. He was covered in mud.
«The ball’s mine!», the kids cried.
«You guys should catch the ball! You can’t climb on top of me!», Sam protested.
I was happy.
«He’s awesome».
«Loves you. You changed his life. He strong man, but not always been like that».
«How do you know that?»
«His soul. I can talk to it».
«What does mine say?»
«Good person, passionate, brave. You run away from man. He loved you much».
I turned pale.
«You friend. I won’t tell. Secret».
She had seen through me. She had something special.
I suddenly felt a deep pain.
I covered my belly with my hands.
«Next full moon, baby be born».
It was the end of April. I was worried. I was pale and I started panting. I closed my eyes.
«Claire, what’s wrong?», Sam’s voice asked.
Moon wasn’t there anymore.
«Where’s Moon?»
«Making you a tea. Are you okay, Claire?»
«I am. Moon says in two weeks I’ll be giving birth».
He looked at me.
«I’ll be with you. Don’t you worry».
He was always right beside me. He was becoming more and more caring. He was getting ready, I could tell that.
Moon handed me a cup of tea. I felt better. I relaxed.
When I was left alone, that night, I stared at my garden. It was the sunset.
To the Greeks, Eos was a new beginning and the departure of the day altogether. It was Emera at sunrise and Espera at sunset. Eos was a divinity for the Romans too. I enjoyed the show that Eos was offering me. It was peaceful. At night, darkness would take over. But now, now it was the moment of colors. Golden and blue. It was the moment when people came back home.
I was daydreaming, when Sam hugged me.
«What are you thinking about?»
Nothing. Everything. Fears and dreams.
«I like living here. I love my life. I like the people».
He kissed me on the cheek.
«And?»
«And I love you. I love everything involving you».
I knew that. We both did. But we kept telling each other.
CHAPTER 14
THE GOODS’ KEEPER
Two weeks flew by. It was May and the air was chilly.
I woke up with a contraction. I knew that there was no need to be scared, because giving birth was natural. Among the Mi’kmaqs, young men had to prove they were brave enough in order to be considered adults. Women, on the other hand, had no need to prove anything, because the capability of creating a new life was more than enough.
I felt a second contraction. I began shaking and couldn’t breath,
Moon came to help me and she lit the fire. Sam helped her change my bed linen.
«Go get some towels, Rhona!», said Sam.
After a few hours, I was feeling much worse. I felt I was about to die.
«Sam, I will die. I know I will. Please, take care of the baby».
He had been sitting next to me during the whole day. He was tired and worried.
«No die. You good», said Moon.
I was not sure of that. She made me drink something, then she looked at Sam. «Help her take bath. She be faster».
Sam did as he was told. I stayed in the hot water for a long time and tried to breathe normally.
When I got back to bed, the contractions got stronger and stronger. I was in pain. I wasn’t feeling well and I could that Sam was scared. He feared that I was going to die.
«Come on, Claire! I can see his head, come on!», he said.
It was the most important moment in our lives so far.
Few minutes later, I was holding a pink and fluffy baby.
I was holding Sam’s hand. We were both tired and I could see his eyes were sleepy.
We both smiled, though. Moon left us alone.
«Moon! I love you... thank you for this», I whispered.
«Love you too. Go sleep».
We were awkward, but faithful friends. She was different from Lizzie. She didn’t talk much and she was incredibly sweet. I could trust her.
«Do you like her?», I asked Sam.
«She loves you. And that’s the only thing that matters to me».
I looked at the baby.
«Let’s give him a name!»
«A name? Well...»
«He’s ours, Sam».
«It reminds me you’ve been sleeping with... him».
I knew what he meant.
«But now», he said, «now that I’ve seen the baby’s eyes... I love him, Claire».
«One day we will have another baby. Our baby».
«He’s our baby, Claire».
He was a small and lovely baby. He yawned.
«Edward. It means the goods’ keeper. He will keep our souls safe», he said.
I liked it. It sounded like a strong man’s name. «Hello, angel. Hello, Edward».
We fell asleep. It had been an intense, tiring day. Sam caressed my back until I fell asleep, then he took Edward to his cradle and came to our bed.
I dreamt of flowers, lights and magic fantasies. There were butterflies that could fly and take people with them. They took me far away, where fairies lived. Then I found myself hugging dad.
I woke up because I could hear someone crying. It was time to feed my son. I needed to get used to that. I opened my eyes and saw Sam holding the baby.
«Let’s let mom sleep, baby», he whispered. «She needs to rest».
I smiled at them
«Oh, you’re awake... I’m so sorry. I tried to rock him...»
I laughed. «He needs to be breastfed».
Sam looked at me. I took the baby and started feeding him. Sam was ravished. Our blond angel.
We put Edward back into the cradle. Sam sang to him in Gaelic and he felt asleep.
«You look so tired... but... where’s everyone? It’s so silent», I said.
He sat and held my hand, kissing it.
«Moon left. She needed to take care of something, but she told me what we will need to do. I asked Rhona to leave us alone for a couple of days. I want us to be together for a while».
He caressed me.
«You’re beautiful and I love you».
I took his hand and put it on my breast.
«Claire...»
I took his other hand.
«Claire... let me just hug you».
«Don’t you want to make love to me?»
He caressed my skin.
«I do... But you need to rest».
I caressed his chest, then my hand caressed something else... I was determined not to give up.
«Please, Claire».
But he started kissing me passionately. We hugged for long and kissed. We were happy. We didn’t make love, though. We were taken back to reality by Edward screaming.
We laughed.
«He needs to eat every four hours», Sam said.
«How do you know that?»
We both laughed.
«Eddy is hungry, come on!»
It was then that we heard – and smelt – something.
«Did he...?»
«He just did».
We were unable to stop laughing.
«We’ll get used to that, I believe».
I look him in the eyes.
Edward ate and fell asleep.
«Let’s take a bath and eat something».
Sam looked
at my body.
«I like the first one».
«So, will you take a bath with me? I’d like it, if you did. I could use someone that rubbed my back».
We went to the bathroom and cuddled.
We were thoughtless and happy. We were learning how it was like, being parents. We liked watching Eddy as he moved. He was great fun. He grew fast, he always seemed to be different from the previous day.
Rhona came to visit us with the ladies.
«Oh, dear! How sweet he is!», said Muireall McFadden.
«He’s fluffy!», said Logan McNutt.
«Most charming baby in the world!»
Sam held him. Eddy was sleeping peacefully.
«He’ll need to be breastfed».
I held the baby and noticed how Sam seemed to be in pain. He needed Eddy to be in his arms.
We put him to sleep.
«Greatest thing in the world, right? Having a baby», said Peigi Murphy.
I shook my head and drunk my special tea. It was supposed to help me have more milk. I noticed Peigi was not really quite in her senses.
«Peigi, are you okay?»
«Sure. It’s just that... I don’t like it, when the kids grow up».
«I know... guess I’ll experience that, sooner or later».
She took a deep breath.
«Peigi, are you sure you’re okay?»
«It’s... Keir, you know. I think he is in love. He doesn’t eat much and he spends many hours outdoors. He’s nervous and... I can’t seem to be able to talk to him. He had even spent few nights somewhere».
She was clearly worried.
«How old is he?»
She looked at me and started crying.
«Seventeen».
«That’s normal, Peigi. He’s growing up. Everyone has to experience love and how it can be... painful, I believe».
«Have you ever suffered from love?»
«I have. And it happens everyday, more than once. I look at Sam and my heart stops».
We both laughed.
«I think he suffers too, then».
I was worried. Was Keir in love... with me? I knew it would be awfully painful to him, if it were so.
Three days later, Moon was back. She was with a young dark-haired man. He was wearing colorful clothes and Moon looked different.
«Siwkewi, that’s my husband, Kjiku».
I hugged her. Sam looked at the man.
«When did this happen? You never said anything to me!»
«You worried for baby. I wait».
