by Alisa Grey
We went to Hyde Park and walked along the Serpentine Lake. I sat there for a while and noticed someone not far from us. It was a tall figure. A man. He was blond. He was walking to a young woman.
I stood still.
«What’s wrong?», Keir asked. «You can tell me, Claire».
I was unable to speak, let alone persuade Alex to divorce me.
He was approaching. He was talking to the woman and I noticed she was a brunette. I felt like I was about to faint.
They were laughing and I thought they must have been a couple. Maybe Alex wanted to marry her.
«Keir, give me a kiss. Now. I want Alex to notice us. He must know we have a relationship».
He looked at me.
«Are you sure of that?»
«It’s a try».
He started kissing me and kept on for a while. I heard people coughing and children screaming at us.
I heard Alex saying: «Michelle, will you excuse me? I must make sure of something».
Keir whispered me: «You have his full attention, I believe».
I smiled at Keir. Then I turned to Alex. He looked at me in amazement.
«Alex!»
He jumped.
«Claire… mon coeur. I thought I’d never see you again».
The brunette was looking at us. She knew who I was.
«I’ve been looking for you everywhere…»
«I know that. This is Keir».
«I can see you are very… intimate».
«He is the reason why I’m here».
«Which is?»
People were staring at us. Alex was aware of that and he was not pleased with the attention we were getting.
«I want to marry him».
Alex went pale. Then he turned red.
«Are you crazy? What about your other… flirt? Wasn’t he enough for you?»
«I was tired of him… as I was of you».
He approached me and he lifted his arm.
«Don’t you dare touch her», Keir said.
Alex shook his head.
«She’ll break your heart and you will love her anyway», he whispered.
«It is worth it».
«What is it that you want, Claire?»
«That you divorce me».
«This is not something that you can have in a couple of days…»
«Just stop it. I now you have friends… I know you can make this happen in about no time. When do you want to meet me?»
He was stuck.
«I can’t seem to recognize you, Claire».
«I’m not your Claire. Not anymore».
He stared at me.
«I’ll send you a note then».
«Alright».
I took Keir’s hand and left. When I was sure no one was looking at me anymore, I stopped and took a deep breath. Keir hugged me.
«You’ve been great. Please, remember me not to fight with you», he smiled.
«I don’t know how I did it».
I shook my head.
«Do you think he will meet me?»
«He will».
«I didn’t get tired of Sam, you know that… but I won’t leave you».
«I know that. Let’s go meet Renny».
We walked home and as we did I understood how much I cared for him. I loved him, in a way.
At dinner, we didn’t tell Renny and Robert about our meeting with Alex. They would know about it in a short time anyway.
When we got to our room, Keir opened his luggage.
«I’ll go straight to bed, I believe», he said. Then he went to the bathroom.
That was unusual. He was always looking forward to our nights together.
Maybe he was tired.
«Of course».
And so he did, without even kissing me good night. I was stuck. When I went into the bathroom, I found something. It was a beautiful shirt. It was black and transparent. I suddenly knew why Keir had got into bed at once. It was short, just like a baby-doll. I brushed my teeth and wore some perfume.
When I went back to our bedroom, Keir was reading a poetry book. The lights were low and he didn’t notice me until I was very close to him. He looked at me breathlessly. He wanted to make love to me, I could see that.
«So… you’re not going straight to bed, I suppose».
He took my hand.
«When did you buy this?»
«In Paris».
I got into the bed and we hugged. He caressed my bare skin and said: «I love you. Even if there will be a war, I will stand by you».
I felt his body all over mine.
«Will you marry me, Claire?»
«I will».
His hair was like cinnamon and copper. Many shades made it precious. I caressed it.
We kissed and then he asked me where I would like to get married.
«In New York».
He laughed.
«This is so Jackson Turner like».
It was. And so unlike me.
«Don’t worry. We can get married here. We can always go on a trip there».
He smiled and then we made love.
He was a jealous man. He really was. Much more than Sam. But he was caring and loving. He had always been there for me. He had been looking after the kids.
I was in love with Sam, but I was also in love with Keir.
He hugged me.
«You never told me you love me. You never call me names…»
I looked at him.
«We’ll talk about that tomorrow».
«I can’t wait until tomorrow».
I took I deep breath.
«You know I do…»
«Just tell me».
«How do you know, by the way?»
«You let me make love to you».
We kissed.
«I need time, Keir».
He kissed me once again.
«Alright, Claire».
«Alright, darling».
CHAPTER 31
LOST IN A SEARCH
It was August, when I got a note from Alex. It was to fix our meeting.
I was impatient. I was unable to stay still and wait.
«Keir, my dear, it is so hot today… I can’t seem to breath».
«Let’s go for a walk, then».
Renny smiled. «Yes, you both should go for a walk».
«I’ll take Claire to the National Gallery».
We went out. He was happy and he liked to tease me. We spent the day chattering and walking. I felt much better then. I liked the National Gallery quite a lot. I loved Raffaello, Tiziano and art in general. I enjoyed the paintings much, because they had so much to tell me. The colours, the people, the technique… I could lose myself in a painting.
When we got back home, I was exhausted. We had dinner and I went straight to bed.
At sunrise, I woke up. Keir was still sleeping and hugging me. I got up and went to the bathroom. I wanted to take a bath. The only sound was the twittering of the birds. It was an ordinary day, but to me it was not. I was going to get a divorce. Hopefully.
I missed Nova Scotia and my kids. Eddy, Marcus, Jasmine, Jodie and Anish. I missed Sam. I felt tears pouring out of my eyes. When would I see him again? I loved Keir and I was happy to have him around. But Sam was the love of my life. His kids would always remind me of him and I would wait for him to come back to me.
Keir woke up and came to look for me.
«I’m here! Taking a bath», I said.
«Are you okay?»
«Sure».
«Don’t lie to me, Claire. I know you miss the kids and…»
«Please, Keir. Let’s focus on today. We have a divorce to get».
He kissed me on the forehead.
«I’ll stand by you, Claire. Will you ever love me the way you love him?»
I hugged him.
«I just want to know he is okay».
«He’ll get in touch, Claire».
We kissed for a long time.
«Let’s get dressed, come o
n».
We got to the lawyer’s much earlier than expected. Lord George Alexander Martin. He had a practice in a huge building. It was elegant and it was clear that Lord George must have been a wealthy man. The place was packed with books, papers, book shelves. None of the secretaries took notice of us.
A small man came to meet us. He had a big nose and he was elegantly dressed.
«Madame Claire! It is a pleasure to meet you».
He told us to follow him.
We got into a big room. The ceiling was marvellously painted and the most big desk occupied the centre of the room. Behind it, the library was filled with old books.
«Please, take a seat. Alexander will be here in a few minutes. My name is George Alexander Martin, I’m the lawyer of the Wilsons. Alexander says the two of you have been fighting for a while, but he hopes to get over this... as a couple».
I was about to say something, but Keir touched my hand.
«I believe Alexander will make an offer. It may be interesting for Mr Murphy as well».
«I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t want to listen to Alex’s offers. I just want to divorce him. I married him, which was a mistake, but now I want to divorce, which is the right thing to do. If that’s not something you think I could get, then I believe we have wasted your time».
«Madame, I was told you have a temper. Won’t you listen to him?»
«You tell me what he wants to say, but then I’ll tell you what I want».
«He wants you to get his country estate and he wants you to take his house in Paris for some three months per year. You won’t be living in London anymore, but he will come to visit you. On those days, he will be your husband. You will have lovers, as many as you like, but when you’ll be with Alex, you’ll behave like a caring wife. He will give you money».
I looked at Keir, who had turned red.
«That’s ridiculous. I won’t accept this. But I have something to tell Alex in person, so I suggest he contacts me».
I stood up and left. When we reached the street, I took a deep breath.
«How could I marry such a jerk? I must have been drunk and now I am so angry. He believes I have lovers! Lovers!»
«My dear, don’t worry. You’ll get a divorce».
And I actually did. I met Lord George several times and arranged the whole thing. I never saw Alex, though, which made it impossible to let him know about Edward.
One morning, I decided to go visit my ex husband.
When I got to his house, I looked at the dépendance. Painful memories left me breathless. Keir and I sat in the living room. A footman told us Alex was out, but we could wait for him.
«I think the footman is Indian», Keir said.
When Alex got home, the footman announced us.
«There are guests, my lord».
«I was not waiting for anybody, so tell them to leave at once».
«I believe you’ll want to meet them, my lord».
He came to us.
«Alex, I’m sorry I came here, but I need to talk to you».
«That’s your house as well... for the moment. Lord Martin said you are not really willing to cooperate... why?»
«I need you to listen to me now».
He looked at me.
«I have been looking for you everywhere and now that you are here you ask me for a divorce».
«Things can’t change, Alex. Not anymore. I have a house, a family and I want to stick to that. Keir is the man I want to marry».
«What do you mean by “a family”?»
«I have four sons. I have a farm, a charming one. I just want to go back to my life. And I want you to meet your son, as soon as he is old enough».
He turned pale and sat.
«I have a... son».
«You do. He is named Edward and he is the most beautiful little boy in the world. He is smart and kind. He looks like you».
He was stuck and speechless.
«I want to meet him. When can I meet him?»
«We live very far from here and he is too young now. Come visit him, though. We’ll tell him you are a relative. When he is old enough, we can tell him you are his father».
Alex seemed to think about it.
«Alright then. I’ll go see Lord Martin tomorrow. We’ll get it all sorted out».
He stood up and came to me. I hugged him.
«You know why I am doing this, right?».
«You want to meet Edward. That’s what matters now».
«I’m doing this for you. I love you and I don’t want you to disappear once again».
CHAPTER 32
HILLS AND SHEEPS
Two days later, I signed the paper that freed me from Alex.
I was feeling awkward, though. He had been a constant thought and it was just sad to part from him.
Alex had behaved very kindly. He had given me the papers and I had signed them. That had been it.
At springtime, he would come to Nova Scotia to meet Edward. I hadn’t told him where it was that I was living. Renny would do it, because I was still recovering from the shock of being a divorced woman.
I wanted so bad to talk to Sam.
Keir and I would get married in the Costwolds and then head to New York. The Costwolds was a marvellous site filled with woods and hills. Wold meant hill, and cot was the enclosure. I used to go there with my family, when my father was on a business trip. We used to stop there and visit my mother’s connections, but when she died we decided to give it up. It was too painful.
I liked the site, which was full of churches, cottages and villages. It was all very magic. Keir and I brought all the documents we would need to get married. We chose a small church and had a very quick ceremony. We both cried.
When he put the ring on my finger, he smiled and I noticed that he was truly happy. It was all he had wanted for a long time. We sat on the grass and laughed afterwards. We were holding hands as the sky turned gray.
«Let’s go, Claire. We have a train to catch».
We caught the train and hugged throughout the whole journey.
I was happy, but I missed Sam.
«Keir, I need to tell you something».
«Sure, my dear».
«It’s about Sam».
He looked at me. I didn’t know how to say it.
«I love you and I love Sam. When and if I get a chance to meet him, I need you to let me do that. I need to talk to him».
He was speechless and angry.
«Are you really asking me to give you my permission to sleep with him?»
«That’s not what I said».
«Not what you said!», he screamed.
«You know I love him and always will».
«You are my wife and you can’t talk to me like this».
«Alright, then. Take the ring back».
I gave him the ring. He took my arm.
«I’m sorry. We will talk about this...»
I knew I was asking him much. He tried to give me my ring back.
I didn’t accept it and barely talked to him throughout the following hours.
When we got to Liverpool, I still wasn’t talking to him. Liverpool was very nice. It was near river Mersey, in front of Wirral. It was a crucial city. Its history was based on a series of commercial exchanges. The most important thing in Liverpool was the harbor.
The buildings were elegant and severe. There were factories and immigrants all over the city.
We got to our ship and were taken to our room. A small one.
When we were left alone, he came to me and gave me the ring.
«I’m sorry. When we were in Paris, I was scared. But still, I never asked you anything about him and... Please, look at me. I can’t bear to be without you».
«I told you I don’t like being told what to do».
«It is hard, Claire. You know it is».
«But did you think about what I asked you?»
«I did».
«So?»
He hugged me a
nd kissed me on the forehead.
«I love you. I am doing my best... I am making all sort of efforts. I don’t want to lose you...»
«You won’t lose me, but I will need to see him».
We kissed and we made love passiontely.
When it was over, we hugged.
«I love you and can’t be without you», he whispered.
«I love you».
«And could you live without me?»
«I couldn’t».
It was true. I loved him, because he loved me in a very deep way. He was brave, generous and willing to do his best. He was protecting my family. And I was lonely, so I needed him.
Sam was the love of my life and yes, I wanted to be with him. But Keir was the one who was there now.
CHAPTER 33
A STREET OF WALLS
We had been travelling for a few days. We were standing on the deck, looking at the waves and the doplhins.
«Would you want another son?»
I was stuck.
«Don’t you want it?»
«I already have four...»
«Edward will go away, you know. He’s smart, rich and... well, he is Alex Wilson’s son».
He was right. If Sam had been here, maybe things would have been different. But he was not.
«Yes, but I won’t have another son just because Edward might leave...»
«So you don’t want a son? Our son?»
«We have Anish...»
He looked at his feet.
«So the answer is no?»
«I didn’t say the answer is no. But five kids is quite a lot... they have to get over Sam’s departure and they will have to cope with... us. Let’s go back to normal first».
He caressed my cheek.
«Alright then».
The captain approached us.
«It’s great, isn’t it?»
«You mean the dolphins?», Keir asked.
Brandon Clarke had golden eyes and hair. He wasn’t especially tall, but he was a pleasant man and he was charismatic. He had been a soldier, but now he was a sailor. He was a married man, but his job kept him away from home for many months each and every year. We spent our evenings talking about books, playing chess or telling tales.
«Yes, they are smart creatures. They live in herds. Male doplhins never abandon their mother. In California the Chumash think that dolphins are our brothers. In Greece they tell many tales about dolphins. And they even seem to be messengers announcing us that the godnesses are coming on Earth».
