by George Eliot
her short stories.
Shortly after noon, Toni brought Lance two grilled cheese sandwiches and a
Pepsi-Cola. He didn't acknowledge her thoughtfulness, but munched on them as he
continued working.
Tired of data entry, Tracy opened Netscape, intending to surf the net, but her
curiosity urged her to experiment with the features of the Internet browser.
Eventually, she moved the mouse to the icon labeled "Lookup." She selected
"People" and the screen filled with a search engine which claimed to locate
named individuals around the world. Carefully she typed into the appropriate
box, "Dwight Peoples." She held her breath as she moved the arrow to "Find" and
clicked the mouse.
Within seconds the screen filled with twenty-one matches. Toni laboriously
recorded the email address for each, not realizing the program could do that for
her.
She glanced at Lance. He was deeply engrossed in his own world. With trembling
fingers, she sent the same message to all twenty-one. "I am looking for the
Dwight Peoples who grew up in Danbury, North Carolina and moved away when he was
fifteen years old. It is very important that I find him."
Late in the afternoon, she received a telephone call from Buddy. She agreed to
spend the day with him swimming and sunbathing at Hanging Rock. She invited
Lance to go with them, but he declined, saying he was not about to horn in on
her dates.
As soon as she got home late Sunday afternoon, she hurried to the study. She did
not bother to change out of her skimpy two piece bathing suit. As expected,
Lance was working on his computer program. Eagerly she booted her computer and
checked email messages. There were twenty-one. In one form or another, they all
said the same thing. "Sorry. It's not me."
Tears puddled in her eyes as she again clicked the "Lookup" icon. This time she
simply searched for "Peoples," leaving blank the boxes designed to narrow the
search.
The program announced over three thousand matches. She sighed and hunched over
the keyboard. The program listed names in alphabetical order by first name. She
scrolled down the list until she reached the "D's." Carefully she studied name
after name. Minutes ticked off the clock. She became discouraged.
She clicked the option that carried her to the next twenty names and stared in
disbelief. "D. Gordon Peoples, Attorney at Law." His middle name was Gordon. She
was sure of it.
"Yes!" she cried.
"Huh?" Lance said as he looked at her through bleary eyes.
"I didn't mean to disturb you," she said, unable to erase the smile from her
lips. "I just discovered how to do something that has been eluding me."
Without comment, his eyes returned to the keyboard.
Toni copied the email address into her electronic address book and composed a
message. "If you are the Dwight Gordon Peoples who grew up in Danbury, North
Carolina and left town at age fifteen, I desperately need to discuss something
that happened to both of us. Please reply ASAP."
She leaned back in the chair and watched icons dance, indicating the message was
on its way to Orlando, Florida.
Until bedtime, Toni checked for email messages every thirty minutes. There were
none.
The next two weeks found Lance constantly at his computer. He ate meals at his
desk and slept little. Toni had too much to do to sit in front of her computer
all day, constantly hoping for an answer from Dwight, though she did check
frequently. She prepared their meals, spent a day each week cleaning the house
and doing laundry, went shopping twice in Winston-Salem, managed the fishing
contest, paying cash awards at the end of each day, and helped Buddy with the
planting of Christmas trees.
Lance seemed to be deteriorating right before her eyes. He seldom shaved and
probably would not have bathed and changed his underwear if she did not
constantly nag him about it. She gave up on hearing from D. Gordon Peoples.
Lance looked up from his computer and shook his head. "It's hopeless, Toni.
Nothing works."
She scooped a stack of pages from the printer and thumbed through them. "It's
not hopeless. You need a break to clear your mind."
He just shook his head again and stared at the computer screen. "What did you
just print out?"
She giggled. "Something that is more hopeless than your project. I decided to
send five of my short stories to theFine Fiction Fans magazine. They pay ten
cents a word. It's not much, but if they'll just buy one of them it'll give me a
writing credit that may open the door to other publishers."
"Your stories are good, Toni. I'm serious about that. I'll bet they buy all
five."
"Fat chance." She signed her cover letter to the editor, stuffed everything into
a manila envelope and addressed it by hand.
She looked at Lance, slumped before the flickering screen. "I'm sure I can't
help, but sometimes a light dawns when we try to describe a problem to someone.
Try me."
He smiled at her condescendingly. "My life is going down the tubes. That's the
problem."
"Get real."
"I'm serious. I thought I had it made in the shade with a spade, as we used to
say when I was a kid. Now I'm staring at bankruptcy."
"You're exaggerating."
He looked back at the screen. "Most people today have home computers � even
students. Colleges are constantly looking at ways to improve efficiency. A big
problem is class registration. Colleges want to eliminate the long lines kids
have to stand in. They want the kids to be able to register online."
"That doesn't sound so difficult, but what do I know?"
"It's not difficult. Security is the problem. For years my program has been
capable of accepting computer registration if the computer is connected directly
to the institution's mainframe."
"So?"
"If I allow modem access to the mainframe, a hacker can break into it and have
access to the institution's most sensitive records. A smart kid could even get
in and give himself all A's."
"You're searching for a security system that will allow modem access and at the
same time keep hackers out?"
He nodded. "Every time I think I have it licked, I put it through real-time
scenarios and find serious weaknesses. I'm just not capable of writing a
foolproof security program."
"If you can't do it, neither can anyone else."
"I wish that were true. When Sean was up here recently, he told me a new company
is pitching a program that is just as good as mine. They charge twice as much as
I do, but they claim to have a modem access security system that is foolproof."
"Well, is it?"
"I don't know. They have no systems currently installed for us to test and they
refuse to sell Sean a copy of their program."
"If they are charging twice as much as you do, I don't think you have anything
to worry about."
"I received an email from Sean this morning. Five of our clients have notified
him they are switching and will not be renewing their contracts with us."
"Ouch. How
many clients do you have?"
"Over four hundred at last count."
She laughed. "And you are worried about going bankrupt?"
"You ever hear of the domino effect? When they start falling, they all go down."
"Lance, in a worse case scenario, to use your word, you'd still have the farm
and income from our Christmas tree production."
"Buddy said it will be at least four years before that project starts paying
off."
"True. Surely you have saved some money."
He nodded. "I suppose I can survive financially, but Toni," he said as he patted
his monitor, "this is my baby. I don't want to loose it."
She stood behind him and massaged his shoulders. "I know I'm an idiot when it
comes to these things, but what if you put the registration program on a
separate computer?"
He patted her hand. "You're not an idiot. That would work, but the institution
would have to buy and maintain a separate mainframe. Do you have any idea what
those things cost?"
"Prohibitive, huh?"
He nodded. "If my competition has a program that will work on one mainframe, why
buy a second?"
"Lance, you need a break. I'm going to drop my manuscripts off at the post
office and run to Winston for a couple of hours. Come with me."
He glanced at his watch. "It's four thirty," he said.
"I know. I have to hurry. The post office closes at five."
"But then you're going to Winston?"
"Wal-Mart has a big sale going on. We need furniture for the deck and I thought
I'd buy a charcoal grill. I can't go during the day because of the fishing
contest. I thought it'd be nice to have a cookout for Buddy and his crew on July
fourth � sort of a thank you party for the good job they did for you."
"I might have known Buddy was somehow involved. Get him to go with you."
"No. I'll go to the post office and come right back to fix you dinner."
"Toni, I'm sorry. I'm tired. Go and have fun. Charge what you want on the
household expense MasterCard we received in the mail the other day. The cookout
sounds nice."
"Come with me, Lance."
"Can't." He turned back to the computer screen.
His brain wouldn't function. Maybe she's right, he thought. A hot shower and
clean clothes brightened his spirits a little. He went to the kitchen for a beer
and observed there were only a few left. I wonder how Tracy and her boyfriend
are getting along? he thought.
He rolled down the windows of his Taurus and enjoyed the humid air blowing
against him. He ran his hand through his shaggy hair. I should have gone with
Toni to Winston, he told himself. I'm in bad need of a haircut.
He saw a large cardboard sign taped to the door as he entered the Flint Grocery
parking lot and he maneuvered the Taurus close enough to read it from the car.
CLOSED
REOPEN JULY 5TH
GONE TO SC TO GET
HITCHED.
TRACY
"Well okay," he said aloud. "Good for you, Tracy."
He suddenly was very hungry and stopped at the Danbury Diner for a country steak
and gravy dinner. He belched as he returned to his car. Should have left off
that second Pepsi, he thought. He reached for the door handle just as Buddy
Mabe's black pickup slid to a stop across the street at the pool hall.
Lance watched as Buddy hurried to the passenger side door and helped a tall,
plump woman get out. Buddy hugged the woman and kissed her for a long time. Wow,
Lance thought. He has his hands squeezing that broad's bottom, and she certainly
isn't Toni.
Chapter Seven
Toni's concern for Lance grew with every passing day. He was so depressed, and
the depression rubbed off on her. She found herself consciously avoiding him
whenever possible, but at the same time constantly wishing there was something
she could do or say to cheer him up.
He continued to stare blankly at his computer screen, but made few efforts at
writing computer code. Ten more clients advised they did not intend to renew
their contracts.
Toni immersed herself in activity, and certainly there was plenty to do with the
housekeeping, cooking and the fishing contest. Using Microsoft Excel, she set up
Lance's books and was amazed at the money he made. He was nowhere near bankrupt,
which made his growing depression even more difficult to understand.
Without much thought or an outline, she began to write a novel. It both
surprised and pleased her that the heroine resembled her and the hero was
unquestionably Lance. She found herself eagerly anticipating her daily writing
period.
Her characters danced and pranced across her mind's eye and she recorded every
movement, every word, every emotion and every setting in detail. They were
impish little creatures of her imagination who rarely did what she expected. The
suspense was as good as reading someone else's novel � maybe better. The only
problem was that her mind kept writing the story long after she, of necessity,
turned her attention to other tasks.
On the morning of July the third, she entered the study, dreading the pathetic
sight of Lance, slumped in front of his computer, but eager to learn what her
characters would do today. She rarely received email, but she always checked it
before adding to the novel. Her pulse rate increased when she saw the envelope
icon in the lower right-hand corner of her screen, indicating she had a new
message. She held her breath as she clicked on the icon and the screen filled
with text.
Dear Toni,
It's so good to hear from you after all these years. I've thought of you
often and wondered what happened to you. I apologize for taking so long to
answer your email. My wife and I just returned from a month's cruise. It's
the first vacation we've taken since the first child was born. We now have
four children � two boys and two girls. We finally figured out what causes
them, so there will be no more. We farmed the kids out to grandma and had a
wonderful time.
I don't know how you found my email address, but I am so happy you did. Tell
me all about yourself. I had such a crush on you in high school!
Guess what. I am no longer fat! Soon after we moved from Danbury, the fat
just melted away. Mom always said my excess weight was baby fat. I suppose
she was right.
Toni, if it is the Window Falls incident you wish to discuss, I'm not sure I
can. I have spent a lifetime trying to forget. I am so ashamed of what I did
to you. I can only hope that one day you will realize I was an adolescent
with raging hormones. I beg for your forgiveness. If this is what you want
to discuss, I'll try. Perhaps it is time I faced it.
Fondly,
Dwight
Toni read the message so many that times she memorized it. It simply made no
sense. She clicked the reply button.
Dear Dwight,
Thank you so much for responding. T
here's not much to tell you about me and
I'd rather skip that.
I had a crush on you too. How sad it seems that we were too timid to
communicate honestly with each other back then.
Dwight, what could you possibly be ashamed of? I am the one who stood by and
did not attempt to help you. I am the one who allowed them to force you to
have oral sex with me. I am so terribly ashamed. I have nightmares about it
frequently and, since that day, I have not been able to function normally as
a woman. You see, my hormones were racing also. Dwight, the whole thing
turned me on. I saw the men leave as soon as you knelt before me under the
falls, but I didn't stop your humiliation until I reached a climax. Can you
ever forgive me?
Toni
Toni clicked the button that sent the message on its way and leaned back in her
chair as she glanced at Lance. Her heart melted. She did nothing to help Dwight
so many years ago. Was she destined to sit idly by as Lance slowly drove himself
insane?
She stood behind him and massaged his neck as she kissed his cheek. "Tell me
what I can do to help, Lance. There must be something."
"It's hopeless, Toni. There is no absolutely safe way around the problem."
"But your competition has found a safe way?"
"That's what they claim."
"Do you know that for a certainty?"
"No."
"Here goes another stupid suggestion. Either you or Sean write to all of your
customers. Tell them of your security concerns. Tell them how hard you have
tried to produce a failsafe security system. Urge them to make the competition
prove the safety of their software. What do you have to lose?"
Lance spun his chair around to face her and grasped her hands. "Why not? I have
email addresses for all my clients. I can send out a mass mailing."
A pinging sound emanated from Toni's computer. "What was that?" she asked.
"You have email," Lance explained.
She started for her desk, but he clung to her hands. "Toni, I can't write worth
a hoot. You know that. If I compose a first draft, will you polish it for me?"
She leaned over, kissed him and grimaced. "I will if you'll do three things for
me."
"Anything."
"Go shave and brush your teeth and tonight let me cut your hair."
"You can cut hair?"
"I don't know, but even if I butcher you, you'll still look better."
He beamed. "Deal," he said as she returned to her desk.
Toni,
I'll stay on-line as long as you like. Before I answer you, I need to ask a
question. What part of the incident excited you? I'm confused.
Dwight
Dear Dwight,
Thank you for asking. I have not thought about it before. It certainly was
not the homosexual activity or pain inflicted on you. It was the sight of
your nude body (blush). It's difficult to write this, but I imagined your
naked body so many times while masturbating that the reality of it merged
fact and fantasy. I wanted so much to be the one who was fondling you. I
wanted to be the one making love to you.
Toni
Toni,
Wow � if I had only known. We both did the right thing in yielding to the
rogues' demands. If we had resisted, we would have been hurt much worse, or
even killed. I'm certain of it. I really don't remember much about what the
men did to me. What I do remember was watching you as you stood under the
falls. You were the first woman I had seen naked and you were far more
beautiful in reality than in my fantasies. What you don't know is that I,
too, saw the men leave after I knelt before you. I guess you also did not
notice that while I made love to you orally, I masturbated � twice. (Boy,
that was hard to admit.)
Now do you understand my shame? Will you forgive me, Toni?
D.
Dear D.,
What's to forgive? I'm flattered � and relieved. Now maybe my dreams will
feature a young man who cares about me making love to me under the falls,
and vice versa. I can never thank you enough for sharing this with me.
T.
Dear, dear, Toni,
Thank you for sharing. Let's keep in touch.
D.
Toni saved all the messages and combined them into a single file for future
