A sound at the door startled me and I aimed the gun in that direction.
“Put that down,” Detective Owen shouted at me as he reached down and grabbed Mitzie by the back of the head, pulling her off Grandma and onto her feet.
Both women were bleeding and out of breath. A quick look at them showed that Grandma was clearly the winner in that battle—coming out of it with a few scratches and a busted lip compared with Mitzie’s very broken nose.
Officer Tomlin, a portly fellow with a genuine smile, came over and took the gun from me. “It’s okay now,” he said gently. “You’re safe.”
I turned to Grandma, threw my arms around her, and squeezed her tiny frame.
She gasped for air. “I survived Mitzie only to be killed by my own granddaughter.”
I let go. “You called me your granddaughter!” I exclaimed.
“It’s because no one is in here listening.”
She was right. Detective Owen had taken Mitzie outside and Officer Tomlin had followed. I didn’t care if no one heard. I heard it.
“I think we should finish our little vacation,” Grandma said, pulling me close. “I think you and I deserve it.”
“You won’t make me get a spray tan, will you?” I asked as we walked out.
“It’s either that or a bikini wax.”
“I’ll choose the spray tan.”
“I had a feeling you would.”
Epilogue
When we returned from our trip to the spa a few days later, I scooped up Catalie Portman and took her to my room. I needed someone to talk to for a minute and over the last few weeks, I had come to trust her with my deepest darkest secrets.
On my way back to my room, Grandma called for me from the couch where she was reading the mail.
“Hey,” she said as I walked in. “I was thinking that maybe you and I should open a business together, now that I have the keys back to my first shop. It will take a few weeks to get Joe’s brother in there to clean it all up, but I think we can turn it into something fabulous.”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to word things in a way that wouldn’t hurt her feelings. “I think I’ve had enough excitement for a while. I think I might head back home and start dealing with the messes I’ve made there.”
Grandma’s face fell and I knew she was disappointed. “All right,” she said. “I can understand that. Before you go to your room, I have something for you.”
She dug in her purse and pulled out a box.
“What is it?” I asked, setting down the cat. I sat down next to Grandma Dean on the couch.
“It’s a new phone.” She handed it to me. “It’s all set up and ready to go. I even made accounts for you on all the social media sites.”
She pulled up her favorite one and showed me how it worked. “If you want to search for someone, just hit that little magnifying glass at the top and type in their name. It’s as easy as that!”
“Thank you,” I said, taking the phone. “Not just for this, but for opening your home to me.”
Grandma Dean smiled. “You’ve come a long way in just a few weeks, but I’m not done with you yet.” Her eyes softened and turned glassy. “You’re welcome to come back any time and we’ll pick back up right where we left off.”
I laughed. “Me with a blotchy, fading spray tan and you with two stitches in your lip?”
Grandma Dean laughed with me. “Well, you can’t say your time in Florida wasn’t exciting!”
I went to my room and Catalie Portman followed me. I climbed under the covers and Catalie snuggled next to me. I held the new phone in my hand. I tried to resist the urge to look up everyone I knew on the site Grandma Dean had shown me, but the temptation was too strong. I clicked on the app and it instantly opened. I typed in my mom’s name, Marilyn Parker. To my surprise, her picture popped up. I read through some of her posts and laughed. Suddenly, and for the first time since I’d left home, I missed her.
I typed in my sister’s name, Amber Parker Cooper. There she was, smiling in the picture while her boys climbed all over her.
My finger hovered over the magnifying glass on the screen for a minute before I typed in Bo’s name. My heart flooded with emotion as I stared at his profile picture when it came up. “I’m coming home,” I whispered to him.
I scrolled down to see if he had posted anything about missing me and suddenly it felt like my heart stopped beating. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There, in the middle of his page, was a picture with him and Darcy McGee. She had her arm around him and it looked like they were laughing. I recognized their surroundings immediately. They were at the Wooden Pickle bar in our hometown.
I turned off the phone and threw it at the end of the bed. He didn’t wait for me like he said he would. I laid down and put my head next to Catalie’s as I fought back tears. Could I blame him, though? I hadn’t exactly stayed away from the opposite sex while I had been here. I had fallen for Joe and had briefly considered falling for Owen, until he ticked me off.
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling for a minute. Then I got out of bed and walked into the living room.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said to Grandma Dean. “I think we should turn your old shop into a clothing store. We could call it the Chic Boutique.”
Grandma looked at me, her face lighting up and a smile overtaking her face. “I love it! And we can have an entire clothing line just for cats!”
It wasn’t exactly what I was picturing, but it would work.
“Perfect,” I said to her. “On to our next adventure!”
The Root of All Evil
Glock Grannies Cozy Mystery, Book 2
1
Bran muffins and strong coffee—two things that get you going in more ways than one. At least that was what the Grannies told me. And judging by the amount of both sitting on the counter, they must have been on their way over.
“Oh,” I said excitedly. “Are we having a meeting today?”
Grandma Dean looked my way and gave me a once-over, following it up with a disappointing shake of her head. Grandma Dean was always impeccably dressed… I was not.
She carried the muffins to the table. “We do not have a meeting. I have a meeting.”
“But I’m part of the group,” I protested. I pulled some butter from the fridge to remind her how useful I was. “You made me a member and I even helped solve a murder!”
Grandma took the butter and put it next to the muffins. “Think of yourself as an understudy,” she said, walking to the drawer to pull out a butter knife.
Grandma Dean used to be a famous actor, dancer, and singer in Europe back in the day. She still carried herself like an old movie star and liked to make theater references.
“But even an understudy has to know the part!”
“Your part is silent.” Grandma flashed me a look that told me I wasn’t going to win this argument. Then her face softened.
“I don’t want you to get too caught up in our…card club…”
“You don’t have to keep calling it that. I know what you do!” I had found out a few weeks ago that Grandma’s “card club” was really a neighborhood watch on steroids…and maybe Ensure. They didn’t just “watch” the neighborhood, they protected it…with force. They called themselves the Glock Grannies.
“Well, whatever I want to call it, it’s too dangerous for you. If we need your help again, we’ll let you know.”
I wanted to protest further, but knew it was futile.
“Why don’t you go down to the shop and start setting things up? The back is full of inventory that just came in yesterday.” I sighed, and Grandma Dean reached up to smooth my hair. “Don’t look so disappointed. This meeting is going to be boring. We have so much to do downtown and it would be great if you got a head start.”
I finally agreed and walked toward my room, grabbing a bran muffin on the way.
“And Nikki,” she called after me. I turned to look at her. “Do something about that hair. P
eople are going to think something lives in there.”
You wouldn’t know it by the way she talked to me about my hair and lack of fashion sense, but she loved me fiercely. That was a good a way to describe Geraldine Dean—fierce. She was also kind and loyal, but she did everything with a ferocity and tenacity that seemed to leave everyone else in the dust.
“You’ve got ten minutes,” Grandma hollered from the kitchen.
I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. I really was a mess. I had come to stay with Grandma Dean nearly two months ago at the urging of my mother. She said I needed to leave our small Illinois farm town to get some clarity after a string of marriages and divorces—six to be exact. Apparently, the whole family thought I married out of boredom and when guy number seven put a ring on my finger, it was finally time to break the cycle.
Bo was number seven, or he would be if I married him. He was different than the others, though…he was real. And that terrified me, which was why I had agreed to come stay with Grandma Dean.
I looked down at the few hair products that lined my bathroom sink and then glanced back up at myself. I was going to need something heavy duty to tame this mess. I quickly got dressed and ran to Grandma Dean’s bathroom. She had every hair and makeup product the world had to offer. I opened a closet that was nothing but bottle after bottle of elixirs and was suddenly overwhelmed.
“Grandma Dean,” I called to her. “What should I do if I want to tame my hair a bit today?”
I could hear her coming so I stepped back from the closet. She walked in and looked at me with a face full of pity. “Go back in time and convince your mother not to marry your father. She has the most beautiful hair and she married that man even though she had to know his genes were condemning all her children and grandchildren to this.” She waved her arms wildly in the air, encircling me.
“If I did that,” I reminded her, “then I wouldn’t exist.”
“And then you wouldn’t have a problem with your hair now, would you?” She laughed at her joke and gave me a hug. “I only have a minute but I’ll do the best I can.” She hollered for Kitty Purry, one of her cats named after celebrities. The other was Catalie Portman. Kitty was the one she consulted on any kind of fashion emergency. Catalie was more laid back and preferred less attention. Kitty was Grandma’s favorite; Catalie was mine.
After being called, Kitty Purry came bouncing in wearing a red sparkling tutu with a white shirt that had a rhinestone heart in the middle. The cat dressed better than I did.
I sat on a stool in front of Grandma Dean’s makeup table and Grandma Dean went to work. She spritzed and sprayed and smoothed, while telling me for the hundredth time that if I would just do this or that straight out of the shower, I could avoid this mess.
When she was done, she stood back to look at her piece of art. “What do you think, Kitty Purry?” she asked the cat, who was sitting on the table and staring at me intently. Kitty meowed and Grandma sprung up. “Oh my goodness!” She pulled open a drawer. “Thank you for reminding me!” She bent down and kissed Kitty on the head. She handed me some lip gloss. “Here,” she said, putting it in my hands and folding my fingers over it like she was handing down a family heirloom I should protect with my life. “You’ll need this.”
Before she could say any more, there was a knock at the door. “Put that on and get out of here,” she said as she disappeared through the door. “We’ll have dinner tonight, anywhere you like…as long as it’s not fast food.”
I stared at myself in the mirror as I heard the first of the Grannies arrive, their high-pitched chatter in the kitchen quickly going from grandkids to bowel movements.
Grandma Dean was a miracle worker—my curls were about as tame as they were ever going to get and they smelled like a French garden. I looked at the lip gloss. For a moment, I thought about slipping it back in her drawer, but I knew she would stop me on the way out and make me put it on. I slid the tube across my lips and a glossy pink flowed over them. It really was amazing what a little lip gloss could do.
As I walked through the kitchen and toward the door, the Grannies gave me a strange look. “Don’t worry,” Grandma Dean said to them as she handed me the keys to her car. “She’s heading to the shop.” She smiled at me and then a chorus of “good-byes” rang out from the Grannies.
As I walked down the sidewalk of the retirement community and toward the parking lot to Grandma Dean’s car, I couldn’t help but think how unfair this was. I should be in there with them! I even went through a sort of initiation! After I refused to take a blood oath of secrecy, they decided I could join their little group if I got my eyebrows done. I had agreed and, after sitting in the mall going through something called “threading,” I wished I had just taken the blood oath. My eyebrows came out great, though, so I couldn’t complain about it too much. But here I was, after going through all of that, and I was still being banished from one of their meetings.
What could they be talking about in there? I wondered.
My curiosity was piqued when two older gentlemen passed me on the sidewalk just before I got to Grandma’s car. I turned and watched them walk up to Grandma Dean’s door. The tall one smiled at me when he passed; he looked tired and stressed out. The other man, who was shorter, completely ignored me and grumbled something as he stormed ahead.
I saw Grandma open the door for them, a serious look on her face. She glanced around to see who might be watching and caught me staring. She forced a smile and waved, before closing the door.
What was going on in there? As much as I wanted to know, I knew the Glock Grannies didn’t miss anything and I would be caught if I tried snooping. It was better to just go on with my day and hope that Grandma Dean confided in me later.
2
I stood there in our new shop downtown, Hello, Beautiful Boutique, and started to go through the boxes of new arrivals. It had taken Grandma Dean and I several days to decide on a name. It was hard to come up with a name for a shop that contained clothing for both women and cats, especially one that wasn’t vulgar. We finally settled on Hello, Beautiful when Grandma said she just wanted people to feel beautiful. We decided to shout that out every time a customer walked in the door. I’m a little more of an introvert than Grandma Dean, but it still seemed like a greeting I could manage.
I opened a box and pulled out a handful of fleece cat sweatshirts in various colors. As I hung them, I couldn’t help but look around the little store with pride. Just a few weeks ago, this place had been completely gutted thanks to a fire. Before the fire, it was an antique store, Junk in the Trunk, that Grandma Dean had owned and ran. But after someone set it on fire to hide a dirty secret, Grandma moved her shop down the street. Now that she had the keys back to this place and it was all cleaned up, Grandma Dean and I decided to go into business together. The human clothes were my idea; the cat clothes were hers.
“Need some help?” A booming voice scared me and I spun around to see where it came from. Joe Delluci, AKA the Hunky Fireman, stood at the front of the store. His big sparking smile made my stomach flip.
“Sure,” I said, nodding toward some boxes. “Wanna open those for me?”
Joe grabbed the box cutter from the floor next to a stack of boxes. I couldn’t help but notice the muscles in his arm bulge as he sliced the first box open. “What in the heck is this?” He pulled out a tiny cat tutu.
“Cat clothes,” I said over my shoulder as I hung up the last sweatshirt, this one with the word “Love” bejeweled across the back. “And not just any cat clothes, but designer cat clothes, if you can imagine it.”
He laughed. “Leave it to Geraldine.”
We worked silently for a few minutes and I tried not to stare at him. He was a gorgeous piece of work. His Italian heritage was obvious with his dark skin, hair, and eyes. He perfectly filled out his tight jeans and black t-shirt and I couldn’t help but notice how his sleeves fell at the middle of his biceps, showing off a giant bulge of muscle. Oh, how I’d like to swing
from those.
“Nikki…”
Hearing my name snapped me back to reality.
“Were you even listening to me?”
Crap. “Uh, sorry…I just have a lot on my mind trying to organize the store before we open next week.” I held my breath to see if he bought it.
He smiled and ran a hand through his thick hair. “Maybe you need a break from all this. Want to meet for coffee later? Maybe at the Palm Breeze?”
I loved the Palm Breeze. It was a trendy coffee shop that looked more like a snow cone hut with its bright blue and white exterior and beach-themed interior. They had the best coconut frappes there… Well, I assumed they were the best. I hadn’t actually had a coconut frappe from anywhere else.
“I would love to.” I smiled, trying not to seem too eager, even though I was.
“Great! Meet me there about three?”
I agreed and non-apologetically watched his butt as he walked out of the store. When he was gone, I sighed heavily. I was doing it again! Why couldn’t I keep my mind off men? Then again, how could I with someone like Joe in the room? He was the kind of guy who would walk down the street and the whole world would stop and stare. Not only was he hot, he had the perfect smile and sparkling personality to round him out.
I got back to work and hummed as I went. This day was turning out nicely after all.
Suddenly, I got this strange feeling like someone was watching me. I cautiously looked around and sure enough, there was a man, maybe late twenties or possibly early thirties like myself, standing outside and looking in through the large shop windows. As soon as he saw me, his face went red. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and quickly spun to the right, walking away.
Glock Grannies Cozy Mystery Boxed Set: Books 1 - 3 Page 11
