“Oh no,” Grandma said welcoming him in. “Can I get you a glass of sweet tea?”
“No thanks,” he said, walking to the head of the table and crossing his arms. “I can’t stay. I just thought I’d let you know about a conversation I just had with someone.”
He eyed us all like we were children and he had just gotten a call from our principal.
“Well, spit it out,” Irene quipped. “We’re old ladies and you’re wasting our precious time.”
“Does the name Larry Kramer ring a bell to any of you?” he snapped.
We all sat up in our seats and tried not to look guilty. We were failing.
Owen went on. “He called me this morning and asked me to come out to his house. He said there had been a break-in the other night and he wrestled with whether he should report it or not because he didn’t actually see anything missing. Finally, he decided it was the best thing to do.”
He looked down his nose at us and we tried not to fidget in our chairs.
“I went over there and he showed me some interesting things.”
He gave us a second to speak up and admit our guilt. We stayed silent. Then he pulled out a notebook and started to read from it. “Lipstick, that looks an awful lot like the one Hattie is wearing right now, was found on a wine glass.”
“It’s a popular color,” Grandma Dean interrupted. “It’s sold at every makeup counter from here to Japan.”
Detective Owen smirked. “A bra, size double-D, from Victoria Secret.”
“He’s a man-whore,” Irene interjected. “Any one of his tramps could’ve left it there.”
“They could,” he said with a sly smile. “But not many of them would leave it there with a gift receipt.”
Our faces fell in shock. My insides started to burn and I glanced at Grandma and saw her mentally boring a hole into Hattie’s head.
“We were able to trace the receipt to a credit card owned by Hattie Sue Miller. How do you explain that?”
We all looked at Hattie, too furious to speak.
“What?” Hattie said defensively. “That bra was expensive! What if he didn’t like it?”
“It wasn’t a gift!” Grandma snapped at her. “It was a diversion!”
Grandma sat back in her chair, disgusted.
“Whatever you think it was,” Owen said, his tone serious again, “it was actually breaking and entering.” He let his words sink in while we all squirmed in our chairs. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be hauled off to jail until Owen looked directly at me. “And don’t think you’re getting out of this just because you were outside. You were an accessory to a crime.”
Dang it.
He was quiet long enough for all of us to picture ourselves in an orange jumpsuit until he finally spoke again. “You’re lucky Larry isn’t going to press charges.”
We let out a collective breath of relief.
“But he does want an apology.”
“We can do that,” Grandma Dean spoke for the group. “And we’ll make sure to thank him for being so gracious.”
Detective Owen wasn’t satisfied. He still had a little more lecture in him. “You ladies need to leave this investigation up to people who are actually trained and skilled to handle it. One of these days, one of you are going to get yourself killed.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Can I talk to you outside?”
I sighed. This day just kept getting better and better.
I followed him out the door while the Grannies whispered, “stay strong,” as I passed them.
Once we were outside, I closed the door behind us, squinting in the bright sun. Even though the kitchen light had been turned on when the Grannies walked in earlier, it still did little to prepare me for the bright afternoon Florida sun.
“I’m really disappointed in you,” Owen said to me.
“Take a number,” I said under my breath.
“Do you know what kind of guy Larry is?” He didn’t give me time to answer. “I don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened to you out there in the dark with him.”
“How do you know about that?” I asked, surprised.
“He showed me the video!”
The what?
“He was pretty proud of himself that he ‘landed’ someone like you. After he told me about the break-in, he showed me some footage from his backyard security camera. Even though it was grainy, I could still tell it was you.”
That means he saw the kiss.
“Nikki, you need to be more careful. I know this guy and he’s a real creep.”
“I know,” I said quietly.
“I have a lot of respect for your grandmother, but I’m telling you right now, if they don’t stop sticking their noses where they don’t belong, I’ll bring them in and charge them with whatever I need to, just to keep them off the streets and safe until we figure this out.”
In that moment, with his warm breath hitting my face, I believed he would too.
“Okay,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll go talk to them right now.”
I turned to open the door to go back inside and he said my name. I turned around and saw the same look that Les had given me earlier.
“Nikki, you’re better than this,” he said with concern on his face.
So I’d heard.
“What did he say?” Irene asked as soon as I walked in the door.
“Oh, you know, the usual.” I closed the door and sat back down in my seat with a thud. “He says he’ll arrest all of you if you don’t stop snooping around.”
Irene rolled her eyes. “That man is like a broken record.”
“Maybe he’s right.” My words were met with death stares. “We’re not getting anywhere anyway.”
“We’re just not seeing things clearly,” Grandma Dean insisted. “What are we missing?”
The Grannies were deep in thought when I pushed my chair back. I decided now would be a good time to disappear and get ready for my dinner with Joe. He had sent me a text and said he’d pick me up at 7:30. I wasn’t sure if this was an actual date or not, but I wanted to look my best either way.
“Where are you going?” Grandma asked as I stood.
“I thought we were finished here. I was going to take a shower.”
“Ohhh,” Hattie said. “A shower? Right now? Someone has a hot date!”
“I don’t think it’s really a date,” I pointed out.
“What time are you meeting?” Irene asked.
I hesitated. “Seven-thirty.”
“Oh, that’s definitely a date.” Irene seemed awfully sure of herself.
“That’s right,” Hattie added. “If the guy would’ve said five-thirty, then it’s not a date. But anything after seven? Definitely a date.”
“Sit down,” Grandma said, grabbing my arm as I tried to walk by her.
“I need to get ready,” I said, not wanting to hear whatever lecture I could feel coming my way.
“We need to talk first.”
I glanced around the table and Grandma added, “We all have something to say.”
Oh great, one more lecture to add to my day. And this would be a group effort.
“Who are you going out with?” Grandma asked.
“Joe.”
Hattie fanned herself at his name. “That man is fine. Owen is fine too, but Joe is extra fine.”
Irene sighed. “Detective Owen is like a finely manicured lawn. It’s nice to look at but you wouldn’t feel comfortable playing on it. Joe, on the other hand, now that’s a yard you can play on.”
“I’d like to roll around in his bushes!” Hattie squealed. Irene let out a laugh and gave Hattie a high-five.
Grandma rolled her eyes and put her hand on mine. “We’re concerned about your…”
“Mating habits,” Hattie blurted.
I cringed.
“There won’t be any ‘mating’,” I assured them. “We’re just going out to dinner.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Grandma said, patting my hand again. �
�Because you came here to find yourself and we’re a little concerned that you might be falling into old patterns.”
I was a little offended and annoyed. “It’s just dinner. But if you’re all that worried, I can cancel it.”
“We don’t want you to cancel your plans, dear,” Greta said sweetly. “We just don’t want you jumping into anything.”
“You’re afraid I’m going to go to dinner with Joe and come back married?” I asked sarcastically.
The Grannies looked at each other.
“No,” Grandma said slowly, trying to find the words to say. “We just don’t want you to move things along too quickly with Joe, or any man, for that matter.”
Greta leaned over the table toward me and patted my left hand, since Grandma had a firm grip on my right. “Hearts before parts. That’s what my Grandmother always used to say. You have to love a man first before you…”
“I’m not going to sleep with him!” I yelled.
My forcefulness took both myself and the Grannies by surprise.
“Well, okay then.” Grandma Dean let go of my hand. “I’m glad you feel that way. If you need help with your hair, let me know.”
“I don’t need your help,” I said coldly.
I got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen and into the hall. I stood there for a minute, took a deep breath, and then walked back in.
“I’m sorry I got a little upset.”
The Grannies smiled.
“It’s okay,” Grandma assured me. “We just care about you.”
“And I appreciate that,” I said, honestly.
I walked back out knowing Grandma Dean could see right through me. She knew my weaknesses about as well as I did. I might be able to fool the others, but there was no hiding the truth from her. I would totally need help with my hair.
15
Joe arrived at Grandma Dean’s house at 7:20. I was in the bathroom applying the mandatory lip gloss when Grandma opened the door for him.
“Hey, Joe,” I heard her say. “You look very handsome tonight.”
I could hear Joe laugh and say thank you. I gave myself one more glance in the mirror. Kitty Purry sat on the counter looking at my reflection. “What do you think?” I asked her. “Too much eyeshadow?” She purred and I wished at that moment, Grandma Dean was in there to translate. She always seemed to know what her cats said.
Grandma Dean had performed another miracle on my hair. Why couldn’t it look this amazing when I styled it? We had left it curly and there wasn’t a frizz in sight. Against her wishes, I went with a pair of a jeans and a flowing top instead of a dress. She let me borrow a pair of her red flats and I actually felt pretty comfortable…until I walked out and saw Joe all dressed up. Grandma flashed me a quick “I told you so” look.
Joe saw my expression and my jeans right away. “Oh man,” he said, looking sorry. “I should’ve told you. I made reservations for us at Romano’s.”
Since I was still pretty new to town, I didn’t know what that was. I looked at Grandma Dean and she mouthed the word “fancy.”
“No problem,” I said with a smile that I felt I was forcing. “I’ll change and be right out.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked. “We can go somewhere else.”
“Nikki will be ready in just a minute,” Grandma said, taking my arm. “Just make yourself at home.”
As she led me to her bathroom, we passed Kitty Purry in the hall. “We still have work to do,” Grandma said to her. “Let’s go!”
The cat followed us back to her bathroom and I marveled at how much animals could understand.
“Okay,” Grandma said with her hands on her hips. “I’m going to make a suggestion and I just want you to hear me out.”
Uh oh.
“I think you should wear your new black dress.”
“No way,” I protested. “I want to burn that thing! I had to kiss Larry Kramer in that dress!”
“I know, I know,” Grandma said, shaking her head. “And I’m sorry about that. But it looks perfect on you. And those shoes you wore with it! They made your calves look amazing.”
She was right. They really did. I sighed and said okay. The dress was brought to me and Kitty Purry and Grandma Dean waited outside the bathroom door while I put on the dress and shoes. When I opened the door a few minutes later, Grandma gasped. “You look stunning!”
Kitty Purry meowed and Grandma looked from her to me, then nodded. “Yes, I agree. Kitty says you need a smoky eye now. Sit down and I’ll do it really quick.” Within minutes, my eyes were smoky (and a little itchy), but Grandma still shook her head, not quite satisfied. “You’re going to an Italian restaurant with an Italian,” she said seriously. “How much do you want to impress Joe?”
“Umm, I don’t know,” I said honestly. If I said I’d really like to impress him, I was afraid I’d get the “hearts before parts” lecture again. But if I said I didn’t want to impress him, I was sure I’d get a lecture on how I should always look my best. I figured I’d go with the safest answer. “What are you thinking?”
“I think you need bigger hair.”
“Bigger hair?” I practically yelled. “Are you crazy?”
“He’s originally from New Jersey,” she said, like that should tell me all I needed to know.
I sighed. “Do whatever you want.”
She carefully teased and spritzed and sprayed. When she was finished, I looked in the mirror. It looked more like I was headed to a Glamor Shots photo shoot than to a fancy restaurant.
I got the final approval from both the cat and Grandma. There was no turning back now. As we made our way back to the kitchen, Catalie Portman peered out my bedroom door and stared at me. “What do you think?” I whispered to her. She seemed to roll her eyes before walking back into my room and jumping up on my bed. I was pretty sure she thought it was a bit much too.
I held my breath as I walked into the kitchen. What would Joe think? As soon as he saw me, his mouth fell open. “Nikki,” he finally managed to say. “You look amazing.”
Grandma smiled with pride. “You two kids have fun,” she said, ushering us out the door with a wink. “But not too much fun.”
As soon as we walked in, I was hit with the smell of freshly baked bread and garlic. If I could handcraft my own perfume, this would be it. As we were ushered to the back, I couldn’t help but stare at all the pretty tables decorated with fresh roses and candles. Of course, it wasn’t really centerpieces I was trying to get a good look at; I wanted to see what people had ordered. But I tried not to let that be too obvious.
Our waiter, Jared, looked like he was twelve. He pointed out the specials and handed us a wine list. When he walked away and I had a chance to look at the menu, I just stared at it like an idiot. The only thing I’d ever ordered from an Italian restaurant before was spaghetti and pizza. This place didn’t appear to have either one.
I looked through the fancy sounding Italian meals and even after reading the descriptions, I still wasn’t sure exactly what was in them.
“Oh man,” Joe said, reading his menu. “Everything sounds amazing. What looks good to you?”
I scanned the menu again. “I’m thinking about the Fiocchese Con Amaretto.” I silently read the description. Beggars’ purse ravioli, poached pear, Taleggio cheese, Amaretto pignoli nuts, cream, and garden basil. I didn’t know what half of those words meant.
Joe laughed and corrected my pronunciation of the dish. “That sounds great! But it’s an appetizer. What are you going to have for your meal?”
I looked at it again and saw that it was under the label “Antipasto.” I had thought that meant the foods listed under it were for people who didn’t like spaghetti. I thought maybe if I flipped the menu over, I’d find a section called “Antipizzo” for the non-pizza people. Nope. Just desserts.
“I’m not sure,” I finally said. “What about you?”
He rattled off some words that sounded extremely sexy and I loved the way his lips moved whe
n he said them. “I’ll have that too,” I said, putting my menu down.
Joe looked surprised. “You like mussels?”
I picked my menu back up.
When our waiter came back to the table, he seemed like he was in a hurry, which I assumed was because we were nearing his bedtime. Joe ordered his incredible sounding, yet very disgusting, meal and I just pointed to a chicken dish and smiled. “I’ll have this.” Jared read off the name and even though I was sure he pronounced it right, it didn’t sound near as good as if Joe had said it. I nodded and he did a slight eye-roll and walked away.
“This place is beautiful,” I said to Joe as I looked around. “Do you come here a lot?”
“Oh no,” he said, laughing. “Only when I’m on a date with someone special.” He smiled at me and my stomach did a little flip-flop.
I was curious. “So, when was the last time you came here then?”
He could see right through me. “About a year ago. But that’s been over for a long time.”
I wanted to ask more, but he seemed uncomfortable.
Jared brought us some bread and little dishes with warm garlic-infused olive oil along with our wine. It was delightful.
“So, who was that guy you were with earlier?” Joe peered at me over his piece of bread.
“Les, he’s just a friend.”
“Does he know you’re just friends?”
“Yes,” I laughed. “Why’s that?”
Joe shrugged. “I just saw the way he looked at you. It looked like more than friends to me.”
“Well,” I assured him. “We are just friends. We meet for coffee every once in a while.”
We were silent for a minute and then Jared and a redhead with skin as white as our tablecloth brought our meal. One bite of mine and I was thankful I had chosen it. “Would you like a bite?” I asked Joe, cutting a piece of chicken and scooping it and some noodles into the sauce.
I held it out and Joe took a bite. His eyes rolled in the back of his head. “That’s amazing. Would you like a bite of mine?”
I looked at his plate full of mussels. “Um, no,” I laughed. “I prefer to eat food that’s not still in its carcass.”
Glock Grannies Cozy Mystery Boxed Set: Books 1 - 3 Page 20
