by C. A. Harms
She walked over toward the sink, looked down in the container and shivered. “Eww, is that food floating in there?” she whined, and gagged for dramatic effect.
The sound of Nan’s laughter followed by even more gagging on Olivia’s part did me in and I could no longer hold back my own laughter.
“Have I mentioned lately how much I love this life?” Nan said in the midst of all her laughter and I had to agree. Life was good.
***
“Are these maternity clothes?” I asked in awe as I held up the most adorable top I’ve ever seen.
Alena stepped up to my side and ran her hand over the material. “Yes, I figured with all the pregnancy going around I should start carrying something fashionable.”
It took a moment to register her words before I gave her an odd look. As far as I knew I was the only one pregnant.
Alena bit her lip and softly nodded her head and I couldn’t contain my excitement. “Are you?” I couldn’t even finish my sentence before she started nodding her head.
“Oh my God,” I squealed just as the bell above the door chimed and in walked Noah and Chase.
“You tell her?” Noah asked.
“Tell her what?” It was Chase’s turn to ask.
“Alena’s pregnant,” I said in a rush because damn it, I wanted to tell someone and Chase was my someone.
“Congratulations man, but I’ve been with you today for more than four hours and you couldn’t share the news?” Chase turned to look at Noah.
“How the hell you expect me to say shit when all you talk about is Trinity?” Noah replied. “You’re like a damn girl, gabbing and aww-ing. A guy can’t get a word in edgewise with you in the room.”
I could tell Noah was just being a Sawyer, dealing shit and making Chase squirm. Those men loved that Chase cared for me so much. It made them happy knowing I had a man who would do anything and give his all to keep me safe. Just as he had with Charlie.
Chase went to every court date, every single questioning that he could. He stood back quietly observing and giving his opinion only when he was allowed. He made it his goal to make sure Charlie got what he deserved.
And even though he said he’d have killed him if given the opportunity, I knew different. Because throughout all the hatred and anger, Chase still did what he could to make sure Charlie got the help he needed to get clean. He wanted the reassurance of knowing that on the inside, behind the bars that would house Charlie for three years, that he’d learn the fundamentals to change his world. He was now seeing a counselor and even Charlie’s father was going to see him each Saturday as they tried to rebuild their relationship.
I never said much about all the things Chase worked on during that time, because in a way I still believed he felt as if he shouldn’t have cared. But he was wrong. Him setting aside his anger and frustration over the things Charlie had done to me just showed me what kind of man he truly was. It was just confirmation that Chase Douglas was in fact the sweetest, kindest man.
A man I would spend the rest of my life loving.
Epilogue
Chase
“Just one more push, Trinity.” The nurse coached her as I watched in amazement. “You got it.”
The moment the loud cries filled the room I felt my body turn to what I would refer to as putty. I was in awe of the woman before me. She was a god-damn super hero.
Trinity closed her eyes as her body relaxed back against the bed.
Those angry cries of our child continued as the nurses moved around the room.
I leaned over the woman who had in a matter of seconds given me the greatest gift anyone could ever give another person and pressed my lips to her forehead. “I know I’ve said it before,” I whispered, “but you are truly amazing.”
“Would you like to meet your son?”
I turned quickly to find a nurse standing at my side, holding my son wrapped securely in a blue blanket.
I couldn’t speak, because the emotions running through me were overwhelming. Instead I nodded my head as she moved my son from her arms to mine.
He was so tiny, so perfect.
He made these soft little snorting sounds as he moved his head around before finding a comfortable position.
My vision blurred as tears pooled in my eyes and I did nothing to stop them.
I was a father.
And in that moment, I just knew.
It wasn’t the most romantic of places. And it probably wasn’t what Trinity had envisioned, but I didn’t care.
I looked over at her as she smiled up at me, watching me hold our son and I knew what I wanted. I knew what I couldn’t wait even one more seconds to say.
“Marry me,” I whispered and that smile that was covering her lips shifted to shock for just a moment before her smile returned. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, sharing moments like these.”
“Yes,” she replied and I leaned in to press my lips to hers.
There we were in the delivery room, with the doctor and nurses staring back at us and I’d just proposed. It had been something I’d known for months I wanted, yet I held off thinking there was no need to rush. Only now I wanted to call the preacher that married Olivia and Keeton and bring him here.
I wanted Trinity to share my last name. The same last name our son would have, and all our children that followed.
“I want more kids,” I mumbled against her lips and she laughed. “A house full.”
“Slow down there, Superman,” she said. “Let me get used to the idea of having one before you go planting another.”
Trinity
I stood next to Liam’s crib as I watched him sleep. He was the most happy, peaceful baby. It’d been three weeks since we brought him home and each day I fell in love with him all over again.
He looked just like his daddy and I knew one day he would for sure break some hearts of his own.
Strong arms circled my waist as Chase stepped up behind me. “What are you doing?” he whispered near my ear.
“Just watching him sleep,” I confessed.
“I do that too,” Chase replied and I smiled because I already knew that. I had woken up so many times throughout the night to find the bed empty at my side. After going to search for him, I’d find that he was in the nursery, just watching our son sleep.
“It’s still so hard to believe that he’s ours,” Chase added and I couldn’t have agreed more. “And soon he’ll have brothers and sisters to keep him fully entertained.”
I could sense his smile.
“You still living that fantasy, Mr. Douglas?” I said in return, wearing my own smile.
“Can’t blame me really,” he said, swaying from side to side, gently moving our bodies as one. “We make gorgeous kids. I mean really, look at him and tell me you don’t want ten more like him.”
“Ten?” I said, a little horrified by the number.
“Okay, five,” Chase corrected, but I still didn’t feel great about that number either.
“How about two?” I looked back over my shoulder, waiting for him to assure me I would not be barefoot and pregnant with little Douglas children for the next five to eight years of my life.
“Three,” he whispered, “but I will be secretly aiming for five.”
“You’re hopeless,” I said just before he kissed me.
“But you love me,” he whispered against my lips and I couldn’t argue. I did love him, hopelessly and unconditionally.
Chase Douglas, I believed, was the man I was meant to spend forever with. All the ugly in my life had led me to this point, right here.
So if living in hell was what I had to do in order to find this man, then I would gladly suffer it over again if it meant I had this in the end.
Because this right here was what I imagined perfect to be.
A Year Later
Amber
“Rogan,” I marched down the hall toward the living room with determination. There in the center of the floor sat all three of my boys,
staring back at me as if I’d lost my mind. And maybe I had, but that is what three boys spawned from a Sawyer man will do to any woman.
In my hand I held yet another one of my expensive blouses from Sassy Ladies, covered in mud.
I knew exactly who the culprit was.
Rogan Larson Sawyer.
My eyes were focused on him as he looked up at me giving his best innocent look. Those big puppy dog eyes he, as well as Rory, inherited straight from their daddy.
On most days those sweet eyes would get them out of the worst possible situations. But not today.
“What have I told you about using my shirts to clean off your dump trucks after you run them through the mud?” He continued to stare up at me.
And after a moment he hung his head and whispered his apology. “I sorry, momma.”
Did I mention the other way these three boys played me like a fiddle?
Those sad little voices, as they hung their heads as if disappointed in themselves. I wasn’t a pushover, I knew damn well they had figured out just how to play their mom. And I wasn’t the only one. Not many withstood the little boy charm my mini Ryans held.
It was a gift.
A gift that was abused.
“How is Mommy supposed to look pretty if you keep on ruining my pretty things?” I asked as I sat down on the floor in front of all three of them and reached out to tip Rogan’s chin upward.
“Because you look pretty in everything you wear, darlin’,” Ryan said, causing us all to turn around toward the direction he came from.
There in the doorway stood the most handsome man in Livingston. He still after all this time made my heart race and my knees go weak.
Ryder wasted no time before he scrambled from the floor and sprinted across the living room to jump into Ryan’s arms. He was a daddy’s boy through and through, even though he was the spitting image of me.
“Isn’t momma the prettiest lady around?” he asked Ryder as he tickled his stomach.
“Yesh,” my handsome little man agreed and the twins moved toward me, throwing their arms round my neck and practically tackling me to the floor.
I was surrounded by boys, and I knew that years from now I would be begging for a break from all the testosterone. But for now I couldn’t get enough. Ryan’s happiness, and the love of my boys, meant the world to me. Olivia and I were as close as two could get and I loved the time we shared together.
Every day I sent up a thanks to the woman I never met but felt like I knew so well. Because I knew she was the one who showed Ryan how to love the way he does.
Tammy raised him to be a gentleman. She raised him to treat a woman like a lady. But I believed it was Claire who showed Ryan what it meant to truly love someone with your whole heart.
And forever would I be thankful for that gift she gave him.
My heart couldn’t love him more than I already did. Because he was, and would forever be, my everything.
Ryan
“Where ya heading?” Chase asked as I climbed up in my truck outside of the station.
“Heading home to pick up my wife for a weekend away,” I said as I placed the key in the ignition and turned. “Boys are with Liv, and the bags are packed.”
“Nice,” he said with a nod of his head.
He looked exhausted as he stared off into the distance, his own keys in his hand.
“Is everything okay?” I asked and he looked back at me as if I pulled him out of some deep thought.
He blew out an exasperated breath and ran his hands through his hair. “Just stalling, I guess,” he confessed.
I wanted to laugh. In a way I already knew what the guy was going through, but it was his own damn fault.
“She is pissed off all the time,” he mumbled and I remained silent, letting him ramble. “She wants chocolate ice cream, I go in search of chocolate, but the time I get back she’s pissed because she wants strawberry instead. I can’t win.”
He looked me straight in the eyes and I swear his expression was one of desperation. “It wasn’t like this before. With Liam she was so sweet. But I swear the damn devil has possessed my wife and she might kill me in my sleep one night.”
It was then I laughed.
“What the hell is so funny?” he asked. “I sleep with one eye open and one leg hanging off the bed touching the floor at my side. This way if I have to move fast I feel I’m one step closer.”
He didn’t smile. There was absolutely no humor in his words.
“Weren’t you the one that said you wanted five kids?” I asked.
“I changed my mind. After this one, we’re done. I want Trinity back.” Again, complete seriousness.
Poor guy looked lost.
And it was the best damn thing to witness.
Within four months of having Liam, Trinity was pregnant again. And this time she was cranky as hell. Everyone noticed it, but she directed all that aggravation toward the man she said was to blame.
And the rest of us loved to witness his hell.
I remember Amber’s pregnancy with Ryder. She cried all the time, she’d be exhausted one minute, and attacking me the next.
Those times were my favorite.
I smiled remembering the times I’d just let her take control. My little wildcat.
“You’re still smiling,” Chase complained.
If he only knew the thoughts running through my mind had absolutely nothing to do with him.
“Go home, Chase,” I told him and he looked as if he wanted to argue.
“Stop at the store and pick up every flavor of ice cream they got,” I told him. “Tell her she’s beautiful and rub her feet.”
“I do that already,” he whined. “I tell her she’s beautiful, and no other woman has ever looked as amazing as her. I tell her I love her and that she is my world, but she is like the exorcist.”
“Well it’s your job to take it. Let her growl and complain and just take it,” I told him. “Because at the end of the day you just need to remember one thing.”
He looked at me like I was about to give him the best piece of advice. I almost felt bad about the fact that I had nothing reassuring to say.
“What?” he asked and I cracked a smile, almost talking myself out of taking the chance at being an asshole. Then I thought about the fact that had the roles been reversed he would have jumped at the chance.
“You are to blame for the state she is in.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “And the rest of us guys are loving that it’s you and not us being tortured.”
“You’re an asshole,” he mumbled as he turned around and walked off toward his truck.
I laughed the entire drive home.
Bailey
“Belle, do not put makeup on your brother.” I stood in the hallway holding Billy on my hip as I noted the damage.
“Is that my eyeliner?” I hollered when I noticed the black line that trailed along his eyes just an inch above his eyelashes.
Then I leaned in a little closer and sniffed.
“And my Dolce and Gabbana!” Oh, now it was on.
Billy giggled as I gripped him tighter and marched toward Belle’s room. As I entered the room I froze and blinked a few times trying to register what I was seeing.
“Annabelle Rose Sawyer,” I said, trying so hard to control my irritation. “Is that my wedding dress?”
“Yeah, Mommy.” She looked up at me with excitement and pure joy. “Don’t I look beautiful? Just like you in your pictures.”
Her tiny little body was lost in a sea of silk and sequins. And she looked absolutely ridiculous with bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow that went all the way up to her eyebrow.
But I couldn’t be mad.
God forbid she had turned my son into her best version of a drag queen, and had Jackson walked in then, he would have whisked his son off to root in the mud while talking of trucks and fish.
He refused to allow Billy to even pick up a doll without replacing it with something dirty and boyish.
Billy wiggled in my arms, causing me to lower him to the floor before he managed to get free on his own.
Within seconds my little man had managed to get beneath the dress with his sister and now both of them were squeezed in the bodice and smiling brightly up at me.
It was a sight I was sure I would never forget.
At the sound of the front door, Billy’s eyes grew wide as he scrambled to break free from the hold my custom made dress had on him and before I could stop him he shot past me like a bullet in search of his daddy.
I stood frozen, covering my mouth to hide the laughter that was threatening to spill out of me. I waited for the reaction I knew was coming.
“Bailey,” Jackson practically growled from the other room and I scrambled inside my daughter’s room and hid behind the mini bride. Her cuteness was bound to protect me right?
When Jackson appeared in the doorway holding Billy in his arms, I smiled up at him alongside my daughter.
“Why in the you-know-what is my son wearing perfume and makeup?” He arched a brow looking displeased.
I looked at Belle, she looked at me, and before she could play the daughter girl card, I did what I had to do.
I ratted out my daughter.
“She did it,” I said, pointing toward Annabelle, and she turned her head back to her father and smiled up at him with red lipstick smeared all across her front teeth.
And what did my big, burly, and too sexy for his own good husband do?
He looked back at her and winked.
“Well, sweetheart, I think you should be a makeup artist one day because he looks marvelous.”
Belle giggled, Billy squared his tiny little shoulders, puffed out his chest and his toothless grin matched hers.
And I sat there, wondering what in the hell just happened.
My daughter was magical, that was the only explanation. She had some kind of calming power that took an intense moment and made everything all right.
Jackson
I could hear Bailey’s shoes scuffing along the gravel as she walked around the side of the barn in search of me.
