Although she had already had her fair share of food at the stands, Katarina decided to join us for a short tea snack. While I was worried about her eating a little too much, I was pleased that we could dine at the same table together. In truth, I’d wanted to join her on her rounds around the school festival, but I was bound by tasks at the council.
Why did I join the student council, of all things? On this day, and perhaps this day alone, this particular regret filled my mind.
“Wow... it does look delicious!” Katarina said happily as she gazed at the sandwiches laid out on the table. Her sparkling eyes and expression of anticipation was adorable.
Mary agreed with Katarina’s assessment. “Why yes, it does look most appetizing indeed. Thank you very much, Lady Katarina,” she said, smiling. She was visibly pleased.
However... no. Perhaps this was why I had to say what I did. “Big Sister... did you not already have quite a lot to eat? Please eat in moderation lest you get a stomach ache.”
“...Yes, I understand.” Katarina seemed a little deflated at my words. It was a saddening sight, yes, but I had to warn her lest she stuffs herself silly. This was all for Katarina’s sake.
After nibbling and chewing on her seemingly delicious sandwich for a while, her eyes started darting this way and that as if she were thinking of something. Ah... this was probably— and before I could finish my thought, I was interrupted, as expected.
“Hey, Keith... could I split the sandwiches with you? I’ll have half.” Katarina had blurted out the very words I had expected her to say.
“...Sure. I thought you might say that, Big Sister.”
“Hooray!” Katarina, after all, really loved to eat. She was particularly interested in rare or uncommon ingredients and dishes. If she laid eyes on something rare, she simply had to eat it.
It seemed that Katarina had a certain philosophy when it came to food — she was never one to leave her food unfinished. Other nobles, me included, often left a little bit of our meal behind. This contrasted starkly with Katarina’s behavior, and although I was used to her antics at this point, parts of her still seemed a little strange.
This was because the Claes family raised its children to cherish their food — they would be fed just enough, and were educated early in their lives on the importance of food. Personally, I was fond of Katarina’s strange eating habits, at least when it came to finishing food. I did feel a little sad seeing Katarina stuff herself attempting to finish everything she ate, though.
This was why I said what I did to her quite some years ago: “If you would like to try a bit of everything, Big Sister, how about you split half of it with me? I will finish the other half for you.”
Katarina was unexpectedly delighted at my suggestion, and ever since then, we would often split our meals or dishes if we could — barring meals at public locations and venues, of course. This splitting of food, in turn, was something of a family privilege. After all, I was the only one who Katarina shared her food with... and this pleased me greatly.
“Here you go, Keith! Try some.” Katarina, having sought my permission to split meals, was now delivering part of a potato salad sandwich into my mouth. It was near my lips. I hadn’t noticed this — and I froze at this development.
“Is something the matter, Keith?” Katarina said, gazing curiously at my rigid expression. She didn’t seem to understand the situation at hand.
Don’t ask me if something’s the matter, Katarina! Notice already! “A-Ah... well. Big Sister... Could we perhaps not do this in public, and in full view of others?” Perhaps if I just calmly remind her...
“Others? But this isn’t really a public venue? Didn’t you just say it was fine just moments ago?”
“Well... I didn’t mean it in this particular way... that...” My words were not getting through to Katarina! Almost immediately, I felt pierced by Mary’s gaze from across the table.
“Hmm? So the two of you always do this, as long as you are not in a public space...?” Mary, her gaze dripping hostility, still managed to sport a smile as she calmly delivered her lines.
“Ah, right. When I have something that I wish to taste, but cannot finish it all, I often split half of it, and give it to Keith.”
Yes, that’s right. But perhaps we could leave the explanation at that, Big Sister. It would be... dangerous, to go any further.
“Is that right? And so, Lady Katarina... do you mean to say that this half portion is always fed to Master Keith’s lips... with your hands?” As expected, Mary homed in on the very details I did not wish to share. I shot yet another glance at Katarina, hoping that she would understand and hold her tongue. Alas... she was oblivious to all my subtle communication.
“Of course. It wasn’t like that at first, but Keith requested that he be fed in this particular way when it came to splitting food a while ago, and so now I always do.”
Mercilessly exposed. I could feel the intensity of Mary’s gaze increase by several distinct degrees. There was no escaping it.
Originally, I had been satisfied just living together with her. However, due to Jeord’s increasingly intense interactions with Katarina over the years, even I had issues suppressing my desires.
To begin with... I lived in the same home as Katarina. More than anyone else, I was the one who was always by her side. Honestly... it would be all too simple for something to happen between us. It was possible, yes... but I did not have the courage to pursue such developments.
To make things worse, Katarina had slowly become more ladylike as the days passed — I could no longer touch her casually like I did in the past. With her sweet, fragrant scent... her soft skin and body — recently I found my heartbeat increasing exponentially... my body heating up, should I approach her. Before I knew it, I was already avoiding her. I had been beside myself with worry all these past years.
Jeord, however, would simply lay his hands on her casually all this time. I wanted to do the same! I had never been able to embrace her the way Jeord did. And that is why I thought of this plan: If I couldn’t touch her, then I could arrange so Katarina would be the one extending her hand to me! Splitting food was the perfect cover for this.
I did realize that it was pathetic at best — that I, being unable to make the appropriate advances, had to rely on the other person to do it for me. Even so, I felt a sweet sense of bliss as Katarina’s hand came so close to my lips.
Katarina, however, being as dense as she was, hardly noticed my feelings for her across all these years. It goes without saying that she had never understood the true meaning behind my requests either. Even so...! Being fed by Katarina in such a fashion filled me with a sense of superiority. To think that all this would be exposed in public, right here and now, in this way...!
“...Master Keith. Did you not agree that you would not abuse your position of a family member, and keep her all to yourself? You did, did you not?” Mary said, glancing upwards at me with slightly squinted eyes.
While it was true that Mary and I shared a common foe in the form of Jeord, and had formed a temporary alliance... Honestly, what I asked Katarina to do was a lot more forgivable than Jeord’s audacious acts! I promptly used that as an excuse.
“Please do not bring Prince Jeord into this conversation, or use him as a point of reference. He is abnormal! I had thought that you were far too awkward, not even trying to hold hands... a miscalculation on my part,” Mary said, with a cold, piercing stare. Her words were equally harsh.
Lady Mary Hunt... daughter of Marquess Hunt. When I first met her nine years ago, she was a withdrawn, timid young girl without the slightest hint of self-confidence. But now she had grown into a woman with such a strong will... Well, I suppose a certain someone’s influence was a significant factor.
“Lady Mary, you know I can hear you despite your muffled whispers. What a thing to say! The height of rudeness, this is! Do you not also abuse the fact that you are a woman? You engage in excessive bodily contact — hugging, touching... is tha
t not true?”
Mary, being very fond of Katarina herself, often had her hands all over my sister — perhaps even more so than Jeord. The reason she could get away with this, of course, was that they were both women. Even so, I couldn’t help but think that Lady Mary’s frequency of contact was a little too extreme.
“Oh my. Abuse, Master Keith? How equally rude of you. It is most normal for girls to hug and touch each other, is it not? And then eventually... slowly... even share a bath together...”
“I must disagree, Lady Mary. What you just said cannot possibly be construed as normal.”
“Alas, Master Keith. Does that not say more about you and your perspective instead?”
We were both under the same temporary banner, primarily out of our love for the same person (though I was unable to discern if Mary’s love for Katarina was much like mine... or was it more of a friendly kind of love, perhaps? I didn’t know). Now that our grievances were on the table, however, we simply couldn’t stop arguing and snapping at each other.
To make things worse, I had been bound to all this student council work all day, and couldn’t go enjoy the festival with Katarina. My dissatisfaction was at its peak. Soon enough, the argument between Mary and I rapidly worsened. And then —
“Keith... Mary. Should the time ever come to pass, I will definitely side with you both, don’t you worry! Even if any mistakes are made... I will not allow this to become a romantic tragedy, like Romeo and the rest!”
Just like that, our argument was immediately dispelled by Katarina’s sudden statement. What exactly is she going on about? No... I think I know what conclusion she’s arrived at. The real question is... how did she even come to such an assumption?!
I answered Katarina’s passionate, almost blazing gaze with as calm of a tone as I could muster. “Big Sister... I don’t quite know what you are thinking in that head of yours — but I am very sure that whatever conclusion you have arrived at, it is most mistaken.”
“I would have to agree as well, Lady Katarina. I vehemently reject such a conclusion,” Mary said, equally firmly.
“...Um. Then... the love between Keith and Mary...?”
“You are most mistaken, Lady Katarina,” Mary and I said, at once, with uncannily harmonized statements.
It was as I had expected — some sort of strange, inexplicable, incomprehensible misunderstanding on Katarina’s part. How, exactly, does this adoptive sister of mine come to these ludicrous conclusions? After all, she hasn’t noticed any of my heartfelt feelings all this time. One day, I would very much like to look into her mind.
More importantly, however, was a certain question I just had to ask... “Big Sister, who exactly is this ‘Romeo’...?” I couldn’t possibly overlook the fact that the name of some unknown mystery man had just left Katarina’s lips.
I felt troubled by my own carelessness. If at all possible, I preferred that the number of rivals I had to contend with did not increase...
★★★★★★★★★
I, Nicol Ascart, had paid the Academy of Magic a visit on this day. On the surface, I was here to meet with my sister, Sophia. However, there was someone else I wanted to see even more than my sister.
Lady Katarina Claes, daughter of Duke Claes. The fiancée of my childhood friend, Jeord... and the secret object of my desires. I hardly had thoughts of snatching her from Jeord’s grasp and making her mine. Now that I had graduated from the academy, however, there were few, if any, chances to see her in person. Even if it was just for a short, fleeting moment... I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to see it... badly.
Having arrived at the stage and performance venue, I sought out my sister, and we stood near the entrance. The student performers, unhappy that I was drawing the gazes of the audience, asked us to go somewhere else. That is how I found myself in the backstage area.
In truth, Sophia and I were happy to sneak backstage. I had been aware of the stares of others ever since a young age. Even so... the intensity of these stares had become somewhat fearsome as of late. Their gazes stuck to me almost like a miasma. Even if I were to return their stares — they would almost immediately avert their eyes. It was not a good feeling.
Compared to that... Katarina would look straight at me with her aqua-blue eyes. It put me at ease, seeing myself reflected in her gaze. It filled me with bliss. I wanted to see her. Katarina Claes.
Perhaps my feelings had reached out to her somehow. Like a dazzling ray of light, Katarina appeared, illuminating the dark backstage area with her brilliant smile.
“Ah, Lady Katarina. I am glad that you have come...” Sophia said, welcoming Katarina eagerly.
My sister loved Katarina very much too. To begin with, Katarina herself was the reason why she was able to walk with a smile in the light, once more.
“It has been a while, Katarina.” Just the sight of her was enough. I felt the edge of my lips curl up, naturally. I was glad that I could see her, for the first time in such a long time.
“...A-Ah. Yes. A while indeed, Master Nicol.” She was just like how she had been when I met her, with her straightforward gaze... I could feel a silent heat in my chest.
“Why are you hiding in the backstage area, Sophia? Given that both of you are here, wouldn’t you get a sizable crowd if you stood at the front instead?”
Sophia answered her inquiry by dutifully explaining our debacle. She seemed somewhat down by the time she was done with her explanation. In response, Katarina reached into her bag, and pulled out what appeared to be some food and gifts.
Upon receiving the gifts, Sophia’s smile returned. I felt a deep sense of relief. After all, I was the reason why the smile had faded from Sophia’s features in the first place. I was deeply grateful towards Katarina. Once again, she had put a smile on my sister’s face.
“Come to think of it... Lady Katarina... you ended up not participating in the student council play...” Sophia suddenly said, as if recalling something.
Sophia had sent me a letter a while ago mentioning that the council was putting on a performance for the festival. I supposed she was referring to that. There was no mention of the actors and actresses featuring in the performance, but I had assumed that Katarina would be participating as well. It would appear that I was mistaken.
“Ah, that. Well, I’m not really a member of the council after all, and I don’t really have any talent in acting.”
Sophia seemed saddened by Katarina’s blunt response. “Ah... I had thought that I would be able to see you on stage, Lady Katarina...”
“...I see. So Katarina will not be performing...” The words left my mouth before I could stop myself. I had wanted to see her stand on stage. Most regrettable.
And then, Katarina said the following: “But wouldn’t it make more sense for you to star in a performance, Master Nicol? After all, you never did anything like that during your school festival. How about starring as a guest character in a short performance?”
It was as Katarina said; I had not participated in any event when the school festival was held during my time. Many of my friends were now in the council, however. My sister belonged to the council as well. If possible, I would have very much liked to assist, but...
“...Sadly, Katarina, I am incapable of acting.”
“...Incapable, Master Nicol?” Katarina adopted stunned expression at my response. Perhaps she didn’t understand my words.
Before I could respond, Sophia had spoken in my stead.
“Hmm... I do think so, Lady Katarina... Big Brother would be a little troubled if he had to act. Although Big Brother is an amazing person... and I may say that as family — he finds it unfortunately... difficult... to control what emotions he shows outwardly... It is quite the flaw...”
Katarina seemed to have a better understanding of the situation upon Sophia’s response. “Oh, yeah... That’s right...” she said.
I felt a complex mix of emotions rise up from within me as I looked at the two. Yes, it was just how Sophia had expla
ined. I was unable to freely express emotions on my face. To be more precise — I had tried to do so in the past, but the results were somewhat unnatural.
Back when I was still enrolled in the academy, Katarina once made an observation: “You don’t seem to smile very much when you’re around your classmates, Master Nicol.” She’d seemed curious. Although I had wanted to do so to a certain degree, it would appear that I could not smile whenever I wanted.
“Well then, Master Nicol. Please try to smile!” Katarina said, that same brilliant grin on her face.
However, it seemed fruitless. I could not do it. I came to the realization that it was simply impossible for me to smile at will; I did not have the ability to control my facial muscles in such a way. It had never been pointed out to me before, so I had not noticed it. Though, thinking back upon it, those who did meet my gaze would always quickly avert their eyes, so they probably did not get a good enough look at my face to do so.
It was truly a pathetic tale. As such, I thought that it was simply impossible for me to act. No matter how hard I tried.
“Ah... but if it is you, Lady Katarina, a smile would surely come across Big Brother’s face...” Perhaps she had noticed that I was feeling down. I did not expect Sophia to say something like that. How surprising. How could Sophia say such a thing out of the blue?
“In that case, wouldn’t it make more sense for his practice partner to be you, Sophia?” Katarina replied, evidently surprised.
“Alas... I do not have the strength. The only one who can draw out Big Brother’s smile is you alone, Lady Katarina.”
“Ah, no, but then I wouldn’t be able to either—”
“No, that is not true, Lady Katarina! Ah! How about we have Big Brother say some lines from the play right now? You can be the actress opposite him, Lady Katarina. Surely Big Brother will say these lines with a smile.”
Sophia had a point. I often found myself smiling before Katarina without even noticing it. Even so... I could not possibly act just because of this. My sister, however, seemed to be in a much better mood upon hearing that her suggestion was accepted. With sparkling, eager eyes, she described to me the lines and motions of the scene in question. So I decided to humor her as well as I could. Sophia seemed to be enjoying herself... and so I listened.
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, Volume 3 Page 7
