Cas hovered behind me. “What’re you going to do?”
I swallowed, relishing the acrid burn that refocused me. “The only thing I can do. Destroy them all.”
“Why would she allow this to happen, Lila?” His tone had degraded to a shattered man who’d just learned that monsters really did dwell in the dark places. “These are her children, too, aren’t they? Why would the Goddess let them die like this?”
I’d have liked the answer to that, too. “I don’t think it works that way, that she has any say over what any of us do, daughters or not. Something about allowing us free will or some shit, Gallagher said.” Quite frankly it sounded like one big bullshit copout to me. If she was as all-seeing and all-knowing as everyone seemed to believe, why wouldn’t she have stepped in to stop it? The unanswered question left my faith shaken at its roots.
“What are you waiting for?” Cas asked after a few minutes.
“Liam.” I closed my eyes, searching beyond the globe of power I’d assembled for my husband. I squeezed Laerni’s stone in my hand to make sure it remained there.
“Almost there,” he said, his thoughts pinched with worry. I caught a fleeting thought about Andrew’s broken state before Liam shut me out.
Fresh out of patience, I thought-shouted, “Fly!” at him. At the sound of his wings drumming against the air at my back, I readied to launch my death blow onto the people of Freymoor Wood. They’d all fallen silent, but still lived in agony, trapped, being consumed slowly, leaving the mind to endure it until they shattered. I couldn’t imagine a worse way to die.
No more.
The energy compressed inside of me, crushing my bones, squeezing my lungs. As I neared my limit, calm settled over me like a sherbet dawn after the longest, darkest night. A tiny ripple escaped me before I pushed with all I had, lacing it with my will. “Die. Burn. Find peace.”
A shock wave blasted outward just as Liam transformed into Light midair and used his energy to shield Andrew’s unconscious body. The thunderous crack from the Light storm deafened me as it rolled across Freymoor and flattened everything as far as I could see. Flames sprang to life and spread like a desert wind, swirling and eating everything in its path. Five minutes passed. Ten. Twenty. The wave dwindled beyond the rim of the valley and snuffed out as my stores depleted too far.
My vision dimmed. I went boneless. Empty.
Air whipped by me, yanking at my hair.
Falling. Garret!
With my arms wrapped around my son, I fell into the charred tomb that was Freymoor Wood. The dark elves, save Laerni, had fallen to ash, and I’d been the one who lit the match.
5
The stink of smoldering wood and flesh choked me awake.
“Hell’s balls, Lila,” Liam said, wet eyes staring out from a soot-covered face as he held me. “Scared the bloody hell out of me. Is he all right?”
It took me a second to shake off my grogginess. I fell. We fell. Oh, Goddess, Garret! In a panic, I prodded at my belly and searched inward for his spirit within. Our son answered with an extension of his leg in his too-small space, his foot bulging out of my side. “Yeah, fine.”
Head hung forward, Liam expelled a mighty, relief-filled breath. “Tell me you still have that stone so we can get out of this graveyard.”
I unfurled my fingers to show him, unable to find the energy to speak another word. Did my boy know what I’d done? Murdered thousands? It didn’t matter that it wasn’t my fault, that it was the only merciful action I could take. It would forever haunt me like a permanent bruise on my psyche.
Liam wrapped his hand around mine, blocking my sight of all but him. “Think of home. Andrew’s not healing like he should be, and I think whatever mojo’s floating around here is to blame.”
“Cas?” I whispered.
“Here.” His mess of tangled plum hair brushed my arm, a pale, hopeless expression matching my internal acid lake. “For Goddess sake, get us out of here.”
The Goddess was the reason we’d gone there in the first place. If I was right, the Overseers to a lesser degree. A glance at Andrew, curled into a ball on the ground, every inch of visible flesh slashed with marks like I’d seen on Laerni, heated my inner fire even hotter. Taking Liam’s hand, I stood and attempted to brush the black off me, succeeding only in smearing it worse and driving the filth of what I’d done even deeper.
I held the stone in one hand and offered my other to my company. Cas hoisted Andrew up and, with Liam’s help, brought him to me. The instant they touched me, I summoned thoughts of Iress and its utopian beauty—a stark contrast from the battleground we would leave behind forever. Guilt chased me into the flowing honey sensation as we were sucked out of the elves reality and returned to our own.
The moment the familiar cobblestone pressed against my feet, I stared at it, afraid to let myself think too hard about what I’d done lest I explode and hurt my baby. If what happened to the elves would happen to fae, why would the Goddess have granted us a child only to see him murdered? Interference with free will or not, it made no sense. There had to be a limit, a line she wouldn’t—or shouldn’t—cross.
Liam’s hand on my back startled a gasp out of me. Cursing, he started to scoop me into his arms, but I shoved my fists against his chest, knocking him back.
“Don’t,” I snarled, rushing to Andrew. “I have to heal him.”
“You can barely stand.” The weight of Liam’s stare damn near flattened me. “He’ll heal on his own. I’m taking you home.”
“Leave or help me.” My clipped tone whipped well enough to slice flesh. “He’s ours to safeguard. Couldn’t you tell how afraid he was back there? I will not leave him, no matter how tired I am.”
Sighing, Liam knelt beside me, summoning his Light. “The weight of this world is not on you. If you don’t stop thinking it is, it’s going to crush you before the Magi even get a shot.”
“And what would you have me do?” I tossed up my palm. “Abandon them all to save myself? Well, fuck that!”
Cas cleared his throat, backing away from us with his hands jammed deep into his pockets. “I’ll just … uh … go find Brígh and Gallagher.”
Liam put his arm around me as I considered where to touch Andrew without hurting him more. I remained stiff for a moment before allowing Liam’s heat to seep into my soul, to chase away the chill there, telling myself he was only looking out for me, for our son, and wasn’t trying to be cold and insensitive. He infused me with his energy and the warmth of his love, giving me what I needed to heal Andrew along with his silent apology.
Gashes lay open from Andrew’s left ear to his shoulder. A deeper one started in the center of his chest and continued down to his right hip, and almost all of the skin on both ankles had been ripped away to leave a mangled mess of oozing flesh. Placing one palm on his forehead and another on his uninjured shoulder, I searched Andrew’s bleeding body with my inner Sight.
Footsteps pounding the ground drew my gaze over my shoulder. Neve jetted down the street like a pink streak, yelling, “Andrew!”
I covered his body with mine to increase the contact as I willed his burned and torn flesh to knit back together before she could see. The process sucked energy out of me and gave it to him—another moment of all or nothing for me. Neve fell to her knees beside us, holding herself and rocking forward and back. Her eyes leaked a steady stream from beneath closed lids.
Andrew’s wail signalled his return to consciousness. Before I could ensure he healed to my satisfaction, Iress wavered, faded to grey, and slipped away into darkness.
• • •
Still wet from the shower, I stood on the castle balcony overlooking the city. A sweet mixture of jasmine, honeysuckle and roses, from the garden growing around the base, greeted me. Although I’d initially wanted to live in a regular shifter house, like everyone els
e, the ability to see the whole and quite spectacular view of the city from the balcony had ultimately won out.
I gazed over Iress again but, within my mind’s cinema, saw nothing beyond blood and mouths wide with screams. How many more would fall before I figured out what to do about the Magi? The selkies? The humans? Would I even succeed before we all died that way, bound and consumed in our very own wooden prisons? Other than Parthalan, it had never taken me so long to solve a puzzle.
Liam came up behind me, having returned from wherever he’d gone off to. He set a plate topped with two grilled cheeses—my favorite treat and greatest craving since conceiving Garret—on the table beside me. “I didn’t expect you to be awake yet,” he said, tracing my jaw with his thumb. “Three hours’ sleep is not going to do you after what you … after what happened.”
I let my forehead thunk down against his shoulder. “All I could see, even in sleep, was Alogason’s face. All I could hear were their screams. Iress could be next.”
“It won’t be.”
I lifted my gaze to him, my head humming from thinking harder than my brain cared to. “You can’t know that. How did those oaks even get there? I didn’t think the Goddess had a presence there. I had a feeling that, if that magical whatever in the air hadn’t been there, I’d have been able to See using the oaks, since they’re her creations.” Had she made the elves’ realm, too? If so, then why couldn’t I sense her there?
Liam’s sight turned inward, but I didn’t press him through our bond, finding no strength. “I remember Laerni saying something about …” He shook a finger at nothing in particular. “The story about when they first met Alastair. She said they’d come to the human plane to diversify their forest. Is that what Laerni meant when she asked you to save them from their own stupidity? Maybe by bringing trees from the outside to their world, they’d inadvertently invited the Magi into Freymoor.”
“Shit. It could be.” I dug into my grilled cheese like a starving woman, swallowing down my bite before saying, “But if the elves are the Goddess’ children, too, then why is their world devoid of her? Why did the Magi need to have trees from here to do whatever they did?”
“Maybe the Goddess was trying to protect the elves from the dryads and gave them somewhere to go that was completely separate, all their own, with nothing the Magi could use against them.”
“Huh. That’s actually really smart.” I smiled at him for a brief moment before stuffing the rest of the sandwich triangle into my mouth. There was no point in debating what neither of us knew for certain. “If that’s true, that would mean they’ve been causing a ruckus for a long time, and the Goddess already tried to shut them down in some way. Unsuccessfully. And the elves didn’t know at the point they collected the trees that it would endanger them.” If the Goddess couldn’t stop them, what snowball’s chance did I have? “We need to talk to Laerni and the Overseers. And everyone needs to be warned, Liam. Now. Today. I will not go through that again. Ever. Nobody should die like that.”
His sympathetic smile only sickened me more. He seemed to realize it because it faded to a frown. “Do you suppose the Magi meant for you to go there and do what you did? Some sort of mental screwing over? Or more training of some sort? Just think of the whole Shadowborn ruse, just to get you to realize your potential. Maybe they’re trying to break you down so you’ll be more likely to give them what they want?”
“Whatever that is.” My sigh held exhaustion and regret. “Honestly, nothing would surprise me at this point. I’m just a helpless mouse in their psycho circus maze right now, and I see no exit sign, only blood. Effing peachy.”
As usual, Gallagher waltzed into our room and onto the terrace without knocking. “We must speak.”
I shook my head and laughed without humor. “Please, come right in. Good thing we weren’t doing anything embarrassing.”
His tap on his temple let me know he’d searched our heads before entering. My cheeks heated to boiling; I hated when he did that. There was no telling what he’d inadvertently picked out of our minds during the previous few months.
“Where’s Laerni now?” I asked, searching my aide for signs of a broken man. I’d caught a glimpse through his armor earlier, but didn’t see anything other than the brilliant pain-in-the-ass fae I’d known for two years. “Have you found out anything?”
“She is unconscious and extremely agitated even in sleep. We must wait for her to wake, though once she knows the extent of the damage, after losing everything she cares for, I would imagine her grief will take her for a while.”
A need to do something for her haunted me, but I couldn’t think of a single thing to ease the heart of an orphaned elf.
“How’s Andrew?” Liam slid one butt cheek onto the arm of one of our terrace chairs and crossed toned arms over his chest.
“Still not completely healed. In fact, I believe he has developed a few more scars for his collection.” At my slow blink, he added, “Magical wounds can scar us, and this is not Andrew’s first encounter with such an attack.”
Ah. I’d wondered how he’d gotten the marks on his face with a fae’s ability to heal. “What happened the first time?”
“The wounds he received today look frighteningly similar to those he received as a young man. Unfortunately, Andrew is a private person, and his mind is the jungle yours once was. If you wish to know, I’m afraid you will have to ask him that yourself or give me permission to take his mind against his will.”
“No, don’t do that. I’ll ask him as soon as he’s well enough to talk. How about the meeting?”
“It took some convincing, but we have a gathering of the willing races at seven this evening. Selkies, wood elves, humans, mountain trolls and representatives from the witch-warlock factions among the human population. Everyone else declined any sort of cooperation toward ending this threat, preferring the every race for itself attitude.” His lip jerked up in a sneer before flattening again. “I attempted to contact Dun Bray and the Black City, but … I suppose you know how that went.”
“Had the telepathic door slammed in your face, did you?” No real shocker there.
“Something like that.”
“Okay.” I nodded, wondering why he still stood in our room, wishing for a few more minutes of peace before I had to search out the Overseers. “Uh … good job, Gallagher. Is there something else?”
“Our scouts have returned from Talawen’s wood.” His silence made me cold. “Raze’s team is missing, and there is blood. Parthalan’s people are conspicuously absent as well, but there’s no evidence they have been harmed.”
I swallowed hard to prevent my guts from expelling my snack onto the stone tile. They were dead. Another disaster the future-seeing hags could have prevented had their heads been screwed on right. Did Raze have a family? Any of the others? Did they know yet? Would it be my place to tell them? My cowardice of dealing with sobbing people hoped someone else would do it and seared me with shame the moment after I’d thought it.
“Loved ones?” I whispered, unable to verbalize the rest.
“All aware. Some grieving. Some in denial. Brígh is with them now.”
My slow nod bought me a little time to compose myself. “Okay. Send someone to burn everything there.” At Gallagher’s crumpled brow, I added, “You heard me—everything. You and Liam wait with Laerni. If it’s possible, find out what she knows about the attack on Freymoor. Brígh and I have a date with the Overseers, then we go to the coalition H.Q. After that, if I have an ounce of care left to give, we’ll go to the other fae cities and warn them.”
6
The instant the door shut behind Gallagher, my emotions overwhelmed me. An urge to run and hide my son had my legs poised to act. How could I protect our baby? Panic billowed into my limbs, bringing adrenaline with it. Roaring, I plowed my fist into the wall, realizing too late I’d hurt the s
hifter as well as myself. It groaned and whined.
“Lila, stop!” Liam threw his arms around me from behind, confining but not hurting. A flash of fear lit me up from inside.
Shit. I’d scared Garret.
Arms folded across my middle, I wrestled out of Liam’s grasp. Pressing my forearms against the wall, I rested my forehead against them while I blinked back tears. “There are too many people I care about now. And having this baby in me has done something crazy to my head. All I want to do is tuck him away somewhere so he’ll be safe, but I can’t, because then everyone else will suffer. The Magi aren’t going to stop until I’ve either done what they want or they’re shut down.” I sniffled and willed myself back into some semblance of composure. “I don’t know how to do this without losing my mind and everyone I love. Leading a nation and caring about shit sucks.”
Liam gave a half-hearted chuckle, pulled me into his arms and led me inside. As he laid me on the bed and crawled in beside me, all humor faded from him. Determined eyes stared back at me. He played fingers along my bare arm. “Listen to me, now—”
“Don’t say it, Liam, I mean it.” I poked a finger into his chest.
“These dryads are going to do whatever they can to get to you. They’ve made that pretty obvious. If they take me—”
“No.”
“You cut and run—”
“Stop it!” I thrust my palm against his chest, forcing a grunt from his lips.
“You will not come after me, do you hear me? You keep our son safe. And if the rest of us are taken, too, you hide him away.”
Tears dripped off my cheek as I lay there facing him, dying inside. “You know I can’t do that. No matter how much my instincts are screaming at me to do it. It’s like there’s this angry beast in my body ready to tear off limbs if someone gets too near him. Fighting that protectiveness is harder than fighting my darkness was last year. But I have to stay, and so does he.”
Rise of the Magi Page 5
