by Daniel Depp
‘He’s done it before?’
Long pause. Too long.
‘Yes, but not with me.’ Later he remembered the look on her face and the weight of her voice when she said this, realizing what it must have cost her. ‘Do you mind if we sit down? I haven’t slept in a couple of days.’
It was three days, to be exact, and he’d find out she’d not eaten either. There was a lot she didn’t tell him. There was a lot she never would. They sat down on a bench near the mouth of one of the lagoon trails.
‘Nobody told me, you see. Charlie didn’t, neither did his sister. There’s a kind of weird solidarity there, even though they don’t get along. I called her right after he went missing, told her about the three men. Then she told me. It’s one of the things that ruined his first marriage, he’d been through therapy, GA, the whole thing. He was afraid to tell me, afraid of losing me. And everybody was sure he had it under control, his first wife was crazy, that’s why he gambled, he was happy with me, I was his good-luck charm. It was all different now so why should they tell me.’
‘And he’s not gambled in the time you’ve been with him? Maybe some small stuff, amounts of money you might not notice?’
‘No, nothing, I’m sure of it. All the accounts are shared. I’d know. That’s how I found out how serious it is. He’s emptied the savings account.’
‘How much?’
‘A little over thirty thousand. He took most of the checking too. I checked through the school and he’s tried to get money out of the retirement account but he needs me for that. Nothing else seems to be gone. I mean we’re teachers, for god’s sake. There is nothing else.’
‘No idea what he owes? These men didn’t mention an amount?’
‘They didn’t mention numbers. Obviously more than thirty thousand.’
‘He might be using the thirty grand to try and win the rest of it.’
‘Oh god, you don’t think he would?’
‘Well, the smart thing would have been to give them the thirty grand to keep them sweet for a while, but clearly he’s not done that. It’s pretty common. You owe big money and you panic. In a way we should hope that’s what he’s doing. Everybody on the street will know by now he’s hot so he’ll have to hit the out-of- town casinos. If he’s moving around there might be a trail. The trick is to find him before they do. Tell me about the men.’
‘Dark. Middle Eastern looking. Late twenties, early thirties. One of them, the tall one, I think he was the boss. He did all the talking anyway. The other two just stood out in the yard. I remember one of them teasing the other, flicking him on the ear, things like that. Like kids. The one who came to the door was different. Very cold, very businesslike. He just asked to see Charlie and when I said he wasn’t home he asked where he was. I said I didn’t know. He asked when he’d be back and I said I didn’t know that either. He just stared at me, as if he were trying to decide if I was lying. Then he gave me the bag and asked me to please give it to my husband when he returned.’
‘What bag?’
‘It was the strangest thing. It was just a little brown paper bag, like a lunch bag. He handed it to me then they left. I looked inside the bag but there was nothing except a small package wrapped in butcher’s paper. I opened it up and it was a pair of chicken legs, raw chicken drumsticks. I couldn’t image why on earth he’d give me something like this. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I went into the kitchen and just put them in the fridge, I couldn’t think of what else to do with them. I was so stupid, you know, I just didn’t get it. I kept thinking about them and after a while I went in and took them out of the fridge and looked at them. Both legs were bent at odd angles, broken, snapped right in half. That’s when I knew,’ she said, ‘that’s when I knew my Charlie was in trouble.’
She began to cry again. Spandau tried to touch her but she shook him violently away and sat on the edge of the bench, bent over and sobbing into her hands. Spandau watched her and felt helpless but he was getting used to it.
NINETEEN
Spandau arrived at the office later that morning. Pookie was at her desk looking crisp as usual with Leo hovering nearby and resembling a lost calf. Spandau knew he’d be there and sneaked up on the office door and entered quickly. Leo was caught and attempted to look as if he were there for a good reason.
‘I was just seeing if she got my account statements,’ Leo said quickly. ‘You got my account statements, right?’ he said to Pookie.
‘What account statements?’ said Pookie. Making Leo miserable was one of her favorite pastimes, and he made it so easy to do.
‘The, um,’ said Leo, who reddened and just went blank.
‘Have you lost your mother, Leo?’ Spandau asked him. ‘Are you looking to be adopted?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Then why do you keep circling this desk like a bottle fly at a picnic? Why are you not at the public works office checking on that utility connection date I asked you for?’
‘I was just going,’ he said, and went. He caught his jacket in the office door and had to make a humiliating re-entry to free it.
‘I almost feel sorry for him,’ Spandau said to Pookie when he’d gone.
‘Don’t,’ she said. ‘He showed up at my door unannounced last night and ruined a perfectly lovely date with Eric Winterbottom.’
‘I thought Eric Winterbottom was gay.’
‘He is but Leo doesn’t know that. Eric was giving me a deep-tissue massage and Leo heard me moaning. I came to the door in a towel, too, just to get even. I thought he was going to break into tears. He’s just spent the last half-hour trying to get me to assure him nothing happened.’
‘Did you?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘Of course not. He’s so cute when he suffers.’
‘You make me happy to be ancient and past all that,’ he said.
‘Oh you’re not past anything,’ said Pookie. ‘Anna drops the occasional hint about your hi jinks.’
‘Is there anything you don’t have your nose into?’
‘I have one of those faces that people talk to. I can’t help it. It’s a curse sometimes.’
‘Well, maybe we can finally make it pay off. I have a job for you.’
‘A job? You mean like a detective job? Really?’ She practically squealed.
‘You are not licensed by the state of California to perform any work of detection. However I do need you to snoop around a little, which is just letting you practice your favorite hobby.’
‘An unofficial dick,’ she said.
‘Look, if you’re going to go around saying things like that I’d just as soon have someone else do it.’
‘No no, please. I’ll be good. Promise.’
‘It’s more of a personal favor than anything else. Anna is not to know, Pook. I mean it.’
‘What have you done?’
‘Just calm down. I’m completely innocent of whatever vileness you have going through your mind right now. When Little Lord Fauntleroy comes back, I want to talk to both of you.’
‘I’m working with Leo?’
‘I don’t want you doing this alone.’
‘Do I get to be boss at least?’
‘Yes, you get to be boss.’
‘Boy, he’ll hate that!’ she said happily.
It was not the first time that Spandau suppressed an involuntary shiver at the way her mind worked. He almost felt sorry for Leo. And he would have, too, if he didn’t have nearly as much fun tormenting Leo as she did.
TWENTY
Leo was back before noon. He opened the office door slowly and stuck his head in, as if worried someone might be throwing darts.
‘You’re safe,’ Pookie told him. ‘He’s in the office on the phone.’
‘It’s nearly lunchtime. We could go somewhere.’
‘I have my lunch, thank you, and I’m going to Maxfield to look at a dress.’
‘I could drive you.’
‘Buying a dress is too intimate to be shared with someone I know
only on a casual basis. We are talking about clothing here. And there’d have to be several years of successful cohabitation before I could even think about taking you along for shoes.’
‘I want to know you on more than a casual basis,’ he said.
‘Oh that is so sweet,’ she said. ‘But it would probably take a nuclear holocaust to shift the odds in your favor.’
‘You don’t have to enjoy being so cruel about it.’
‘Well, I do enjoy it but that has nothing to do with the fact that emotionally you are a child and while this is not necessarily a turn-off it is a definite red flag.’
‘What would I have to do. Just tell me.’
‘Get rid of all that Battlestar Galactica stuff in your apartment. Trekkie stuff can be kind of retro-hip but the BG thing is just never going to fly. No one is ever going to have sex with you with Edward James Olmos staring down at them.’
‘Are you saying that you’ll have sex with me if I get rid of that poster in the bedroom?’
‘I am not saying that at all. I’m saying that if you wish to ever procreate with another being of remotely your own kind – of which I am emphatically not, by the way – you will replace that signed photo of Tricia Helfer with a Miro lithograph or something.’
‘You know what you are? You’re a snob.’
‘Of course I am. All the Rhode Island Vanderkamps are snobs. Otherwise we would be the Arkansas Vanderkamps or something. You really are the most juvenile thing.’
‘That’s it,’ he said. He tossed some official-looking documents on the desk. ‘Here, give him this. They’re the stuff from public works he wanted. I’m going off to lunch by myself. I regret ever having fallen in love with you.’
‘You really are in love with me?’
‘Duh.’
‘Well, oh god, I suppose I’ll have to have lunch with you now. It would be unthinkably gauche if I didn’t.’
‘Don’t strain yourself.’
‘I have just offered up myself to lunch with you. If you are now having some kind of cris de coeur about it I would advise you to be sure. It is unlikely this will ever happen to you again.’
‘I don’t understand you,’ he said flatly.
‘No one would expect it of you. Anyway neither of us can go anywhere right now. He wanted to see us both when you got back.’
‘Am I in trouble?’
‘Just hold my hand and I’ll walk you through it,’ she said.
She buzzed and Spandau said to come in. Spandau was sitting behind the desk, the expensive cowboy boots perched precariously on the edge. He was leaning back in the chair and his hands were clasped behind his head.
‘Dee’s husband Charlie has done a runner,’ said Spandau.
‘You’ve been reading John Le Carré again, haven’t you,’ Pookie said to him.
‘I have,’ said Spandau. ‘Anyway he’s taken off.’
‘Legged it,’ offered Leo.
They both just looked at him.
‘It’s another British term,’ Leo said weakly.
‘Anyway,’ said Spandau, ‘he’s gone. Dee thinks he’s in hock for some gambling debts and is hiding. I think she’s right. She’s asked me to find him.’
‘Ouch,’ said Pookie.
‘I’d rather you handle it. It means working closely with Dee and I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘You mean you’re giving us a case?’ said Leo.
‘Oh darling please shut up,’ Pookie said to him. ‘I will draw you little pictures later. Let me talk to the nice man now.’
‘What I want you to do is go out and talk to her again. Pook, she knows you, that’ll help.’
‘Does she know you’re having me – us – take over the case for you?’
‘You’re not actually taking over the case. All you’re doing right now is some groundwork. Talk to her again and have her bring you up to speed. Then we’ll compare versions and see if she’s come up with anything new. Have her go over the bank accounts again and check the credit-card records for the last few months. Look especially at activities on both his and her cards over the last few days. What we’re looking for is gas station, food and hotel receipts, especially around casinos.’
‘If he’s hiding, you think he’s going to be dumb enough to leave a trail like that?’ said Leo.
‘It’s not a matter of him being dumb,’ said Spandau. ‘He’s got cash, but it’s his gambling stake and if we’re lucky he’s not going to want to spend it. He also knows these guys don’t have access to his card records so he’s safe as far as they’re concerned.’
‘He has to know that Dee’s going to check the cards,’ said Pookie. ‘What’s to stop Dee from putting a hold on them? Maybe she should. How do we know he’s not lying in a coma somewhere and somebody else is having a holiday with his cards?’
‘The transactions themselves should tell you something. If it’s Charlie, he’s not going to be staying at the Ritz or eating gourmet or buying expensive lingerie. It’ll be basic stuff like gas and food and motels. She could stop the cards, but I don’t think she should. At that point we completely lose the trail and it’s liable to throw him into a panic. Anyway, he’s probably worried that’s exactly what she’s going to do. I wouldn’t stop them unless Dee’s worried about the amounts.’
‘If she stops the cards, maybe it’ll force him to call her,’ said Leo.
‘Maybe,’ said Spandau. ‘But he still has cash, and he’s not out looking to make a summer vacation of this. If he’s gambling at all – and I think he is – then he’s going to want to make a quick score and give these guys enough to let him come back home. Sooner or later he knows he has to.’
‘Or he could kill himself,’ said Leo.
‘Is he that type?’ Pookie asked Spandau.
‘I don’t know,’ said Spandau. ‘I’ve managed to avoid meeting the guy. I have no idea how high-strung he is. This is not, by the way, something you should bring up to Dee, although I’m pretty sure that’s one of the things she’s worried about. Talk to the sister. And get a list of friends he might contact from both of them. We’re assuming he’s on the road, but he could just as easily be holed up with an old gambling buddy.’
‘Or an old girlfriend,’ said Leo.
‘Only a man would think of that,’ Pookie said to him.
‘Nevertheless, he’s right. See if you can get the sister to come up with some names.’
‘What’s the sister like?’ asked Pookie.
‘No idea,’ said Spandau. ‘This is why I’m giving this to you two. It’s called beating the bushes. This is what we do in the gumshoe biz.’
‘Shamus, gumshoe, private eye, dick,’ said Leo.
‘Sleuth,’ said Pookie. ‘That’s my favorite.’
‘Flatfoot?’ said Leo.
‘No,’ said Pookie. ‘That’s just for cops.’
‘Sherlock,’ said Spandau, ‘but we are wandering into the attention-deficit zone here. Talk to Dee and the sister. Do not, and I repeat do not, go wandering off and do anything else. Report back to me. And if you happen to come across these three bozos that are looking for him, run away, do not walk. Do not in any way make contact with these guys, I don’t care if you have to leap out a five-story window to avoid them. The job is to find Charlie, not to sort out his personal problems for him.’
‘Or to get coshed with a blackjack,’ said Leo.
‘Coshed,’ repeated Pookie. ‘Oh, I like that one. Coshed.’
Spandau gave her a look.
‘Let’s assume we find him,’ Pookie said quickly. ‘Then what? It doesn’t resolve anything.’
‘I’m not sure that we’re in the resolve business,’ said Spandau. ‘Not yet anyway.’
‘But this is what she wants,’ said Pookie. ‘She didn’t come to you to find her husband. He’ll eventually turn up one way or another. What she wants you to do is get him out of this.’
‘This isn’t what she asked.’
‘Yeah, but you know this is what she wants
.’
‘Let’s just see if we can find the bastard first,’ said Spandau. ‘I also want you to do a little background check on Jerry Margashack. Rumors, anything that could be used against him.’
‘I appreciate your seeing me as the truly superior individual that I am,’ said Pookie, ‘but I’m not sure how I can do all this and hold the fort here as well.’
‘Who was that friend of yours who subbed when you went on vacation? The cute little blonde?’
‘You mean Tina?’
‘Yeah, she was cute,’ said Leo. Pookie pinched him and he gave out a short yelp.
‘I’ll call her. I don’t think she’s working now. Yale drama and she still can’t find a job.’
‘Meanwhile I’ve got this Margashack thing.’
‘Is he as crazy as they say?’ Leo asked.
‘Look,’ Spandau said to him, ‘one of the first rules of this trade is that you don’t go around gossiping about your clients. Got that?’
Leo reddened and nodded his head.
‘But yeah,’ said Spandau. ‘Between you and me, he’s as mad as a hatter.’
TWENTY-ONE
Meg Patterson took a sip of her martini and made a face.
‘Jesus,’ she said. ‘I haven’t had one of these things in years. It’s like drinking cleaning fluid. But I mean that in the nicest possible way.’
‘You want something else?’ Spandau asked her. They were sitting in a booth at Musso and Franks. He’d asked her to lunch. She’d refused until he promised to take her somewhere decent for a change.
‘Hell no,’ she said. ‘I love a martini. Two at the most.’
‘With three I’m under the table,’ said Spandau.
‘With four I’m under my host,’ she said, completing the poem. ‘Don’t you love Dorothy Parker? See, this is why I bother with you at all. You somehow manage to combine being strong and silent with an almost metrosexual understanding of the finer things in life.’
‘Is that a compliment?’
‘Why on earth would you think that? As my record will attest, I prefer men who are not particularly strong and only silent when they’re trying to find out where I hide my silverware.’
