by Tania Sparks
I quickly press the button so I can get out on the next floor. After a couple of seconds the doors slide open and I roughly push my way past the giggling bunnies and make my way as quickly as I can out of the claustrophobic space. The doors close shut behind me and I sigh a big breath of relief.
But darn it, now I’m stuck on a hotel floor that I don’t want to be on. I don’t want to go back up to the penthouse floor because the guys and their swarm of girls will be there. I guess I’ll just have to wait it out for a few hours until I think the girls are gone. There’s no way I can see that shit! But I can’t go back down to the bar or Ted will think I’ve changed my mind. I’m stuck.
I head towards the stairwell door, push it open and make my way inside. I sink down onto one of the steps and rest my head in my hands. Tears start to trickle down my face. I don’t know why on earth I’m crying. I shouldn’t be upset about Nikki hooking up with a random groupie or two. After all, it was me that told him to go and do exactly that. This thing between me and him hasn’t supposed to be serious, but as soon as I saw him with those girls a little green monster started to emerge inside me. I’ve never been jealous in my life! What the hell’s that all about? I’m totally confused.
I’ve been sitting on the step for no more than ten minutes when I hear heavy footsteps bounding down the stairs. They come to an abrupt halt a few steps above me. I turn around and it’s Nikki looking as sexy as ever, but he seems troubled. “Trix, I’ve been looking for you everywhere, why the hell are you hiding in here? I’ve been worried about you.”
I shrug my shoulders and wipe at my tear stained cheeks.
Nikki sits down beside me and puts his arm affectionately around my shoulder, “Honey, why are you crying?”
I snuggle into his shoulder and wipe my face again. I mumble, “I don’t know.”
He tightens his grip around my shoulders and with his other hand, clasps my hands that are fidgeting in my lap, “Sweetheart, the girls weren’t with me. They were all with Cody and Hansen. For some stupid as fuck reason, I wasn’t in the mood.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes. His body is hard against mine and I can feel heat radiating off him. His arm around me feels comforting while at the same time his close proximity triggers tingles of desire to spark inside me.
I look up into his eyes and ask, “What’s wrong with us Nikki? I don’t get jealous, like ever! And it’s not like you to pass up on a willing groupie.”
He snuggles into my hair and mumbles, “I don’t know. But what I do know is that when you’re around I only want to spend time with you.”
“I don’t do relationships.” I warn.
Nikki chuckles, “I know party girl. I don’t do relationships either. But we both enjoy spending time with each other. How ‘bout we make a deal, when we’re in the same town, we spend our time together. No fucking around, just us.”
“So when we’re not in the same town...?” I ask hesitantly.
He looks at me. I detect a sign of resignation in his tone, “You can do whatever or whoever you want Trix…”
“And you will too…?” I ask despondently.
He snickers, “Yeah, I will too. Otherwise this thing between us is sort of a relationship isn’t it? And neither of us do relationships.”
I know he’s right and I agree this is a good compromise that could work for both of us. I don’t think I could cope seeing him hook up with other girls, but if I don’t have to see it, I can ignore the fact that it bothers me so much. I need to make sure I gain some sort of distance. This boy definitely makes my body sing, but I can already sense that it’s more than that. I really enjoy spending time with him and that’s what’s dangerous about this whole thing and it’s freaking me out. I have my own reasons for not doing relationships. I’ll just have to keep my feelings in check. I won’t allow myself to get hurt again like I did back in high school.
After a few minutes of contemplative silence I say, “You’re right. We can do this.” I grab his hand and rise to my feet, pulling him up, “So does that mean we can move off this crappy stairwell and go back to the hotel suite?”
“It does.” Nikki grins. “Let’s go. I can’t wait to get you in my bed.”
Chapter 4
The next morning we pile into the tour bus and head up to New York for tonight’s show.
When we arrive the guys all go to an early sound check. As there was no show last night the road crew managed to drive up and set up early. While they’re at sound check Eve and I go back to the hotel. We settle down on the couch and quickly get chatting.
Eve grins at me mischievously, “So, what’s the story with you and Nikki?” she asks.
“We’re just having fun. Nothing serious. We’ve agreed that when we’re in the same town, we’ll spend some time together, but when we’re not we’re both free to see other people.”
Eve looks at me disapprovingly, “Hmmm, I can see that’s not going to work for either of you!”
“Sure it will. It’s just a hook-up. Why do you say it won’t work?” I ask curiously.
Eve places her hand on my knee caringly, “I can see the way you both light up when you’re around each other. I think it’s more than a hook-up for both of you.”
“You know I don’t do relationships.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She sulks. “Why is that? You’ve never really told me why you’re so against anything serious. I can’t remember you ever having a relationship that’s been more than a hook-up.”
“I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Come on, we’re best friends. We normally share everything, but that’s the one thing you’ve never told me about. Come on, spit it out!” She blinks her big puppy dog eyes at me.
“Jesus, you’re so god-damned persistent.”
I pause for a few seconds, I really, really don’t like talking about this. “It hasn’t always been just hook-ups. I have had one serious relationship. Admittedly it was a long time ago, back in high school in fact.”
Jesus, just saying it out loud is making me feel anxious as the feelings all come swamping back to the surface. I take a deep breath. Eve is just looking at me sympathetically giving me the time I need to compose myself. “I spent the last couple of years in high school with a guy called Adam. I thought he was the love of my life...I thought he was the one...I thought we were so well suited. Our families knew each other. Both our parents were thrilled that we were together, Mom was practically planning a future wedding...”
God-damn I can feel the tension building in my shoulders. I shake my hands to try and relieve my anxiety. Why am I so wound up talking about this? I thought I had moved on years ago. I guess I had just pushed the memories to the back of my mind and hadn’t thought about it for years.
I continue with my explanation, “It was right at the end of high school, we’d finished our exams, had all graduated and were making plans to head off to college. Me and Adam were both going to the same college and I felt like we had our whole lives ahead of us. After the graduation ceremony, we were celebrating at a party. I was chatting to one of my fellow cheerleader girlfriends.”
Eve interrupts me, waving her hands frantically in my face, “Hold up – you were a cheerleader!”
I grin at her and shrug my shoulders, “Yeah, well…I was very different back then. I was a cheerleader. A very proper, twin-set cardigan wearing, pearl necklaced preppy.”
“Holy crap! I never would have guessed.” Eve giggles and we both laugh.
“You should have seen me back then, my whole wardrobe consisted of very demure pastel colored dresses, sensible shoes and I didn’t curse or speak ill of anyone. I was a fucking princess,” I giggle.
Eve chuckles, but she knows there’s a lot more to the story so she asks, “So what happened at the party?”
“Hell, even thinking about it again makes me want to hit something. I had decided to go and see where Adam had got to. I searched everywhere and couldn’t find him. After about twenty minutes
I finally found the son-of-a-bitch. He was in a bathroom, his dick buried balls deep in the school slut. It turns out that the bastard had been spending the last two years fucking everything that had a vagina!”
A tear runs down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly before Eve gets a chance to see it. “When I walked in on him and that bitch I couldn’t say a damned thing. The bastard and the whore just smirked at me. I wanted to scream and hit both of them, but I was so shocked I just turned and walked away. It later became apparent that everyone knew except silly little innocent me. I felt like such a fool.”
I take another deep breath and regain my composure. “The minute I walked out of that house I made a pact to myself. I changed the college I was going to so that I wouldn’t have to see that ass-wipe again. I changed the way I looked and made some decisions. Innocent was gone. Raunchy was in. Relationships were gone. Hook ups with no attachment were in. I was determined not to get hurt again.” I take another deep breath, feeling much stronger again now, “Anyway, that’s my story. That’s why I don’t do relationships.”
Eve gives me a big hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s okay, it was years ago now. I haven’t even thought about that douchebag for ages. I don’t know why I got upset telling you, I’m way over that dickhead. After a while I realized that I was never really in love with him, I was more in love with the ‘idea’ of us.”
Eve pats me affectionately on my knee and I smile back at her.
“Anyhow, I like the way I live my life now. I really quite enjoy being single and not getting attached. So mine and Nikki’s ‘arrangement’ works out well for both of us.”
Eve doesn’t look convinced. “Mmmm, we’ll see about that. I don’t think you’re as happy about your ‘arrangement’ as you’re making out.”
I have an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that Eve is probably right. But there’s no way I’m going to admit that to her, hell I’m barely admitting it to myself.
I quickly change the subject and we spend the next hour or so chatting and relaxing.
~~~
We’re all sitting around in the hotel suite. The guys have returned from sound check and are taking the opportunity to relax for a few hours before they go back to the stadium for tonight’s show.
Me and Eve are sitting next to each other having a wine and a chat. The guys are all lounging around too doing their own thing, everyone’s having a bit of quiet time. Eve digs her elbow in my ribs, “Hey, isn’t your Dad’s birthday coming up soon? Don’t you normally have to go back home for a family dinner?”
I groan in frustration. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mama and Daddy, but they can sometimes be really hard work. Mama especially thinks that I should have outgrown my rebellious streak and settled down by now. She’s very traditional in her wishes for me and doesn’t particularly approve of the life I lead – if only she knew the half of it! Dad probably thinks the same thing, but I’m a Daddy’s girl and I have him wrapped around my little finger.
“Yeah, I have to head back home next week for a couple of days.”
I can see a spark of an idea hit Eve as a big grin forms on her face, “Hey guys,” she speaks louder to get their attention, “Don’t you have a break between venues next week?” They all grunt in agreement. “Why don’t we all head back home to Oklahoma and everyone can catch up with friends and family for a couple of days? Trixie you can take Nikki home with you. Taking home a dirty rocker will really freak out your Mom. It would be awesome!”
“Hey!” Nikki protests, “I’m not sure I like what you’re implying!”
Eve laughs, “Well you are a dirty rocker and that’s what we love about you anyway! Besides all your piercings and tattoos will totally give Trixie’s Mom a heart attack.”
Nikki shrugs his shoulders and grins, “Yeah, I guess I am a dirty rocker. But you might be surprised, I have an amazing effect on most women, even Moms.” he chuckles.
I shake my head and joke, “Cocky much?”
The guys all look like they’ve cheered up considerably. They nod their heads enthusiastically. Hansen chirpily adds, “That’s a fantastic idea. It’d be perfect to get away from all this touring crap for a few days and relax at home. None of us have been home to Oklahoma for ages!”
“How often do y’all get home?” I ask. From their reaction, it’s not very often. They all seem pretty keen to have some time out from the rigors of being on the road.
Nikki smiles fondly, “We don’t get home near as often as we’d like. We’re lucky if we get back once or twice a year. So when we do go we make the most of it and chill with family. We’ve only gone home once when it was a complete and utter waste of time. None of us managed to catch up with family at all, it was a real weird trip.” He looks across to Ash, “Hey Ash, d’ya remember that trip? It was about five years ago, you dragged us all down there and we didn’t know why the hell we were going or what the hell we were doing there.”
Ash is shaking his head and giving Nikki the evils in some sort of warning but Nikki continues anyway, “We took the private jet down but when we got there Ash dragged us off to some college graduation. Ash was as anxious as shit and wouldn’t tell us why the hell we were there, we figured we must be performing at some party or something and he was getting freaked out for some reason. Ash dragged us to the actual graduation ceremony but we just sat at the back and left when the ceremony finished. Ash took us all to a local bar, we got plastered then flew back to LA the next morning. It was as weird as shit. I still don’t know why the hell we went.”
“Really?” I say in surprise as I try to fathom the timeframe. “Five years ago? That would have been the year that me and Eve graduated.” Realization suddenly hits me, “Holy shit, you went to Eve’s graduation!”
I look over to Ash and Eve and they’re gazing into each other’s eyes, their foreheads touching and a tear is trickling down Eve’s cheek. I hear her whisper, “You came to my graduation?”
Ash whispers back, “Yeah, I had to see you Angel.”
“Why didn’t you come over and say hi?” She murmurs back.
“I was going to. I thought that maybe seein’ as you’d graduated and had finished your studies, maybe we could get back in touch...”
“But why didn’t you come over to me?” Eve asks exasperatedly.
“I was just about to, but then some dude came up to you. He picked you up and swung you around in circles, then gave you a big kiss. You were both laughing. I figured you were happy and had moved on. I couldn’t bear being introduced to your boyfriend, so I just left and spent the night getting shit-faced.”
“I wasn’t with anyone Ash! I don’t know who you saw. It must have just been one of my class mates. But I know for sure I didn’t have a boyfriend, I was still struggling to get over you.”
“Shit Angel, we’re a right pair aren’t we.”
“We sure are,” she agrees quietly.
Ash stands up and lifts her up in his arms. “Come on, we need some alone time.” They disappear into one of the bedrooms.
I still find it heart-warming that Ash and Eve have found each other again after so many years apart. They’re so much in love and are so well suited. I can’t imagine them not being together. I’m not sure I even believe in the whole concept of soul mates, but if there ever were such a thing, it would certainly apply to Ash and Eve.
The rest of us continue to chat happily about the pending trip back home. I can’t wait to see Mama’s face when she sees Nikki!
~~~
We head off to the venue. The guys have a meet and greet before the show, so we have to leave a bit early.
As we arrive there are throngs of screaming fans waiting for Oblivion’s arrival. The energy inside the limo is electric. It’s easy to see that this is what drives the guys. They love the attention and they’re all extremely pumped for what’s going to be an amazing show.
We pull up into a secured area and start to pile out of the lim
o. Oh my gosh, if I thought the screaming was loud before, it’s ear shattering now! The guys are all waving to the crowd, massive smiles on their faces as they literally bounce towards the horde of fans. Eve links her arm through mine as we hang back a bit, letting the band bathe in the limelight.
They walk over to the crowd who are secured behind a barrier. Miraculously they each pull magic markers out of their pockets and start signing autographs, shaking hands and having photos taken. After a few minutes security shuffles them on and we make our way inside and into a large space that’s been set up for the meet and greet. At the moment the room is empty, but I can hear the excited mumblings of a crowd not far away. The guys all take their place along one wall. They’re obviously so well practiced at this it’s second nature. Me and Eve stand at the back of the room. A security guard pops his head inside the door. “You guys ready for me to let ‘em loose?” he asks with a knowing smirk.
“Open the flood gates!” Cody chuckles as he holds out his arms in a welcoming gesture. The next minute the rumblings of the crowd morph into screaming as the doors open and a swarm of people rush inside, surrounding the guys with excited shrieks and loud chatter.
After about half an hour the excitement has started to quieten down and it’s just a noisy party atmosphere. Eve has deserted me and now has Ash wrapped around her. I notice that Ash is pretty adept at shaking off the attention from flirty groupies. His attention is solely on Eve, it’s quite sweet actually. Nikki on the other hand is thriving on all the attention. Admittedly he’s not partaking in anything intimate, but he’s definitely flirting and enjoying the interest he’s getting from numerous scantily clad girls.
I’m not jealous, I’m not jealous, I’m not jealous. I chant that mantra numerous times in my head, but I’m not doing a very good job of convincing myself. I feel a knot in my stomach and I really could do with another drink to calm my frayed nerves. I try to look anywhere but at Nikki, but I just can’t help myself, I’m driving myself crazy watching him flirt and cavort.
