Slumped in a chair near the window with his chin resting on his chest, Henry said nothing. Manfred leaned against the bedpost. “We’ve had a rough year, but can you tell me what happened to cause your sadness?”
When he gave no answer, Manfred knelt beside him. “I killed Yankees not much older than I am and watched my own comrades fall. Edwin and I survived months in a filthy prison, nearly starving in the process. But all the time I had faith God would take care of us.”
Henry raised blank eyes to Manfred. “It was wrong. The whole thing was wrong. What we did . . . what they did . . . It was wrong.”
Manfred said nothing. He could only imagine the horrors Henry must have witnessed. He squeezed his brother’s hand. “You don’t need to tell me now, but maybe someday . . . ” Manfred grasped Henry’s shoulder before leaving the room.
To avoid the group in the parlor, he slipped around to the front of the house. New lumber in the dock and shipping office building offered evidence of repairs. The river slapped against the wood of the pier and gently rocked a steamboat loaded with cotton and cane. Old, familiar sights and sounds soothed his mind. Tomorrow he’d ask Sallie to marry him, and together they would build a new life and a new South, one where men would be brothers in love and unity instead of brothers in arms.
CHAPTER 26
* * *
St. Francisville, Louisiana, Wednesday, June 7, 1865
MANFRED HAD SENT word that he planned to rest and visit with his family for the day, so Sallie decided to spend the time helping Mama and Grandma with the dinner plans for the evening. Papa brought in a ham from the smokehouse, and Sallie helped Lettie prepare yams for Flora’s sweet potato pie.
She rehearsed over and over again how she would tell Manfred about what had happened in Woodville. Nothing she said sounded right. Finally she blew out her breath in a huff. “Lettie, I can’t figure out how to tell Manfred what I did in Woodville. I’m afraid he will be appalled and think less of me.”
“Miss Sallie, he loves you with all his heart, so he’ll understand. If he doesn’t, then his love isn’t worth a penny.”
Her words sounded reassuring, but doubt still plagued Sallie’s heart. Still, she’d tell the truth. Grandma always said truth was the way to tell anything that needed saying. Her knife scraped away the peel of a potato.
When the heat rose in the afternoon, Sallie retired to her room to rest, but she could not relax. Jenny sat on the edge of the bed with Sallie.
“I can see you’re restless and disturbed, my friend. What troubles you?”
“What I’m to tell Manfred about what I did. I must do it tonight to keep us from starting a new phase of our relationship with secrets between us.”
“Yes, you must, but don’t worry. He’ll forgive you because God has forgiven you.”
When Sallie didn’t raise her head, Jenny grabbed her shoulders. “Sallie, you do know you’re forgiven by our heavenly Father? Look at how He’s taken care of us and protected us during these dark days.”
“Has He, Jenny? How is letting me kill a man, taking away your home and father and brother, and then allowing you to be treated as you were protecting us? I don’t believe God really cares about us much, or none of that would have happened.”
Jenny squeezed her shoulders. “Sallie, listen to me. He protected you by giving you the knowledge to use that gun. You could have been killed yourself. Yes, I realize it was a terrible thing to happen, but it got you safely out of the house and here with your grandparents. Then look how God sent that soldier to help me and then work it out so he was the dead soldier’s brother and could claim him and take him back home.”
The words bounced around in Sallie’s head until they began to come together and make sense of her scrambled feelings. Manfred had come home safe and in good health, as had Edwin and Charles and Benjamin. Maybe God had been at work all that time, and she had been too blinded by the horror of the experience to see His loving hand at work in the midst of it.
The Lord still answered prayer, and He still loved those who had sinned, even her. A new realization hit her. If she didn’t forgive herself, she was breaking the commandment to forgive as she had been forgiven.
“Sallie, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, I am, and it’s all coming together. Instead of thanking God for His blessings, I’ve been blaming Him for all our bad times.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh, Lord, please forgive me for doubting You. I know I am Your child and You love me despite what I have done. Please help Manfred understand.”
The first peace she’d felt in many months settled over her, and she could tell Manfred with the full knowledge that she was a forgiven child of God. She reached over and hugged her friend. “Thank you. Things are much clearer now. I can face Manfred without fear.”
“Then let’s get some rest so you’ll be fresh and ready for what may prove to be a most memorable evening.”
Later, as the dusk of evening fell, Sallie paced the floor in the foyer waiting for the clatter of carriage wheels or the pounding of horses’ hooves against the ground. Finally the sounds she wanted to hear came from the drive. She yanked open the door and ran outside to find Manfred hitching his horse. She drew to a breathless halt at his side.
“I’ve been watching for you. I thought maybe you’d forgotten about this evening.”
Manfred chuckled and finished looping the mare’s reins around the hitching post. “Did you now?” He reached for her hand and drew it to his lips. “Your hands are like icicles on a winter morning. Were you really worried I wouldn’t come back tonight?”
Sallie nodded then shifted her gaze downward. “Yes, even though your mother accepted Mama’s invitation. I guess . . . oh, I don’t know. I’m just glad you’re here.”
Drawing her to his side, he guided her up the steps to the chairs on the porch. “I came a little early to talk with you. My folks will be along shortly. My thoughts have been only on you all day.”
Sallie’s heart beat at staccato rhythm, and her hands trembled in Manfred’s. The time had come to share her experience with him. She trusted God now to give her courage and the words to say.
“Something is troubling you. I see it in your eyes. If your feelings for me have changed and you’re not sure of our relationship, I do understand.”
“Oh, no, that hasn’t changed at all.” A stabbing pain pushed back the joy welling in her. She had to tell him what she had done.
Manfred squeezed her hand. “What is it, Sallie?”
She bit her lip then turned her gaze to his. “Oh, Manfred. I’ve done something so horrid. I must tell you, then if you feel the same . . . ”
He gathered her into his arms and cradled her head against his shoulder. One hand held her close while the other stroked her hair. “You could do nothing to disappoint me. I love you with all my being. You don’t need to tell me anything, but if you must, then I am here to listen, not to condemn.”
The quiet words calmed the churning in her stomach but didn’t release the fear in her heart. She pushed back from him and folded her hands in her lap. After a moment she moistened her lips. Manfred must understand the desperation of her act and the pain that filled her even now.
“Early in the spring, Yankee troops marched across Mississippi and into Woodville. On their way to the river they attacked and ransacked the Harper home.” She paused with the words to the next part lodging in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowed hard, and plunged ahead.
“Then they came into the town and attacked around the town square. Papa and our neighbors put up a fight, and the fighting and shooting came close to our house, so Papa sent all us women down to the cellar. He, Will, Tom, and the other men joined in defending our homes.”
Manfred gasped and grabbed her hands. “You must have been terrified.”
Her breathing sped up, and tears misted her eyes. “We were. Papa gave me his shotgun and a small handgun.”
Images of that day in April tumbled into her mind one
after the other. “I don’t know how long we stayed downstairs. We had only a small glow from a lantern and were afraid to even move about in case someone heard. Mama whispered Bible verses to calm our fears.”
The more she revealed, the easier the words came until the whole story tumbled forth. She sat back with her heart hammering in her chest and waited for Manfred’s reaction.
Manfred’s mouth worked from a pucker to a frown to a grimace. “How horrible for you. Killing someone is the hardest thing to face. I hated every time I pulled a trigger, but it’s the only way we can survive at times.” He pulled her close to his chest again.
Sallie wept and tears stained his jacket. “Oh, Manfred, he was just a young soldier, no older than I am. He had that loaf of bread, and . . . ” A sob escaped her throat. “He was just a boy looking for food. Manfred, I killed a boy. And then another one came in with a gun pointed at us, and I fired again. This time I hit his shoulder and he ran back outside.” “I’m so sorry, Sallie. You should never have had to face such a situation.” Manfred kissed her forehead and held her close. “You did what you had to do under the circumstances.
I’m so sorry you had to see and experience such a horrible thing, but I’m thankful you and your family are now safe.”
Sallie drew back and peered at Manfred’s face in the shadows. “Can you still love me, knowing I killed one man and wounded another?”
He brushed a tear from her cheek. “Sallie, remember, I too killed in this war. The only difference is I was expected to. What you did happened all over the country as men and women defended themselves.”
“Killing is awful. To take another’s life is sin. God said not to commit murder, and I did. I’ve prayed and prayed, and finally feel He has forgiven me, but can you?”
Manfred whispered, “Dear, sweet Sallie. If God has forgiven you, who am I not to do the same? I love you just as our Father loves you.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, and peace once again filled Sallie’s heart and soul.
“Sallie, I didn’t intend to do this right now, but it may be the best time. I’ve already spoken with your father, and now I’m asking you. Will you marry me?”
The words she longed to hear for so many months now filled her heart to overflowing.
“I’m not the same innocent girl you left last year, but I love you, and yes, I will marry you.”
He gathered her into his arms and held her close to his chest. “No, you’re no longer a young girl. But you are a stronger woman because you defended your home in time of need. All of us have been deeply affected by what we experienced in the last few years. We can only pray that God will somehow use it for good.”
His steady heartbeat and tight embrace brought peace to her tormented heart. “I pray so, Manfred. I pray so. Thank you for loving me and understanding me.”
“How could I do less?” He paused then leaned away from her to gaze into her eyes. “You and I must do what we can to make a difference. The South will have to rebuild and be restored, and we must see it is done with love, hope, and faith in God.”
Even in the twilight the beauty of Sallie’s red hair, fair complexion, and the spattering of freckles shone brighter than the waning sun. The face he’d seen only in his dreams for many months had not changed, but she had become a woman who could face the uncertainty of the future by his side. No matter what her burdens, he’d help her bear them with his love.
He pulled her to her feet and bent his head to capture her lips in a kiss that sealed their love and their future together. As the kiss deepened, Manfred fought the longings that had built in his heart for so many months. Finally he broke away and stood back.
“It’s up to those of us who survived to make sure our home is stronger and better than it was before, and we must do it without infringing on the rights of others.”
Pure joy sparkled in Sallie’s eyes, a joy springing from the depths of her soul. “You’ve always been so tender and kind, Manfred. I will be so proud to be your wife and work beside you. The things we have experienced have taught us to love life and live to do good for others.”
“At least I can do my part in helping to rebuild and grow. Pa told us at dinner last night that your grandfather has kept my inheritance from Grandma Whiteman safe. That means I’ll be able to finish my time with Doc and then set up my own practice when he retires.”
Sallie hugged him. “I’m so proud of you. You’ll be such a marvelous doctor.”
“And you don’t mind if we live here in St. Francisville? Won’t you miss your home in Woodville?”
“Oh, Manfred, my home is wherever you are. I can’t imagine being anywhere else except by your side. I’d follow you wherever you want to go.”
Manfred stood and drew her close, and the rapid beating of his heart matched hers. Oh, what a wonderful future they would have. He caressed Sallie’s hair, his heart bursting with love. To think this beautiful young woman would be his wife. He didn’t want to wait any longer to make it happen. He held Sallie by the shoulders and raised his head toward heaven with a whoop and holler. Then he took her hands and whirled her around, laughing and singing.
Her parents, grandparents, Hannah, Jenny, and his family all flew through the door and spilled onto the porch. Manfred stopped short. “How did you get here, Ma? Where have you been?” He kept hold of Sallie, and they stood hand in hand, beaming.
Ma smiled. “We drove up and saw you two up here in earnest conversation, so we went around to the back and went into the house from there. Jenny has been standing nearby to let us know what was going on.”
Sallie grabbed Jenny. “Were you eavesdropping, my friend?”
Jenny laughed. “Not really. I simply checked for the right time for us all to make an appearance.”
Hannah jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “We were beginning to think you’d never stop talking!”
Manfred bent and grabbed her around the waist and lifted her into the air. “Oh, you did, did you? How do you think you’ll like being my little sister?”
He set her back down, and Hannah grinned. “I think it’ll be grand. Sallie is so lucky.”
Laughter bubbled forth, and he glanced over to see Sallie accepting hugs from her mother, grandmother, and Jenny. A hand grasped his shoulder.
“Congratulations, my boy. You’ll be a welcome addition to this family.” The elder Mr. Woodruff, with a firm grip, shook his hand.
“Thank you, Mr. Woodruff. And I must also thank you for watching over my inheritance. It means much to me to know I’ll be able to continue with my plans to one day have my own medical practice.” Without his grandmother’s inheritance, his future as a doctor would have been almost impossible.
“It pleases me to know you’ll use yours wisely. Your grandmother Whiteman was a generous, loving woman.”
Manfred nodded. “She was, and I’m thankful she passed this life before seeing the ravages of war in her beloved Southland.” His grandmother’s love for people had instilled in him the desire to become a healer. He planned to make her proud.
Mrs. Dyer clasped her hands to her chest. “It’s time to plan a wedding. We must make arrangements for a place and food, and . . . oh, goodness me . . . there’s so much to do.”
Manfred grabbed Sallie’s hand. “Do you think it can be done in a few weeks?”
Sallie gasped then laughed. “Yes, the sooner the better, before the weather becomes too warm. I like the idea of June for our wedding.”
Both mothers’ mouths dropped open and their eyes widened. Mrs. Dyer then frowned. “I’m not sure we can do it that quickly.” She glanced at Ma. “What do you think, Harriet? It will mean a lot of work.”
Behind them Mrs. Woodruff waved a hand in the air. “We can do it. Abigail will help, as will her cook.”
Sallie hugged her mother. “Oh, Mama, you’ll have it all arranged and beautiful no matter when or where it is.” She reached over and entwined her fingers with his. “All that matters is Manfred and I will be together
for the rest of our lives.”
“Then we’ll make it the best wedding for you. Let’s see, what date will you choose?”
Sallie glanced at him then back to her mother. “I think June fifteenth will be perfect.”
Mrs. Dyer gasped then beckoned to her mother. “That’s next week! Come, we have work to do.”
She reached over and herded her children back into the house. “It’s time for our young couple to make some plans of their own.” Mrs. Dyer grinned and raised her eyebrows toward her husband and Mr. Woodruff.
Everyone reentered the house, but Ma went last with a word to them both. “Don’t dawdle out here too long. Dinner is being served as I speak, and yours will get cold.”
A cold dinner wouldn’t bother him at all with the warmth of love flowing through him. All the words he’d stored inside for all these many months became lost in the joy of knowing Sallie would be his forever.
He grabbed her hands and pulled her to his chest. “The rest of our lives. Sounds pretty good to me.”
“This is the happiest day of my life so far. The best one will be when we stand before the minister and say our vows.”
“I want to give you a ring as a symbol of our love, but that may have to wait.”
Sallie laid her head against his chest. “I don’t need a ring. All I need is you.”
He reached down to lift her chin and gaze into her eyes. “You’re all I need too.” Their lips came together to seal their love with a kiss that sent a flood of desire washing through his body once again. Sallie lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck to deepen the kiss.
A minute or so later, she stepped back, breathless and flushed. “Manfred Whiteman, I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, and it’s everything I dreamed it to be and more.”
As much as he desired to stay here on the porch with her in his arms, that would not be the wisest thing to do for either of them at the moment. “I think we best join your family and have dinner before we . . . well, we should go in.” He no longer trusted himself to be alone with her. He needed time to get his emotions under control.
Love Stays True Page 23
