Daring the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  He looks at the door. “She’s not really my type. She seems like she could kick my ass. I don’t find that a turn-on in a date.”

  I giggle. “I think it’s because she thinks you’re gay.”

  “Fuck.” He sighs. “That, too.”

  CHAPTER 23

  I take a seat at a table in the building’s small cafeteria. My grade school’s cafeteria was bigger than this room with the mint green walls and grey linoleum floors. There is a TV hanging from the ceiling in the corner showing Finn’s station, but since he won’t be on the Air, I don’t pay attention to the broadcast.

  I check my phone again, but don’t expect to hear anything from him, and I’m right. I don’t. That’s fine because I actually don’t want to hear his apologies for walking out last night or his arguments for wanting me to go on the Pill now.

  I keep thinking about last night. He was going to risk it again last night…for me, but then he told me for a second time that he wants me to go on the Pill, which he’s so against…or he used to be. Not only does his not wanting to have a family bother me, but also does his sudden about-face in his beliefs. Why couldn’t he pick something else to make a U-turn for? Preferably something that involves Finn making a more substantial commitment to me.

  “So, tell me about your weekend.” Morgan says, taking a seat across from me at the dark brown, rectangular table.

  “You tell me about yours first.” Mine will make your head hurt.

  She unzips her lunch bag and takes out a bowl. “We went to Ivan’s parents’ house. We spent the whole time talking about wedding plans, much to the boredom of Ivan and his dad. I picked my colors! Silver and blue.”

  “Cool! What shade of blue?” I open my strawberry yogurt and shove my spoon into it.

  “Light. Beachy, I guess.” I nod. “We’re getting married at Virginia Beach. We already booked the hotel and the wedding package too, so we’re good.”

  “That short notice?”

  “Yep. I can be very persuasive. I picked doubles of all the extras, so they were very accommodating.”

  “Wow.”

  “Your room is already reserved. You’ll have to share one with Rod. Sorry.”

  I tilt my head and narrow my eyes. “Ha. Ha.”

  “That would be rather hilarious, but I think it would enrage your boyfriend. Do you know if Finn will be coming with you?”

  I twirl a stray strand of hair with my left hand before I take a bite of my pink gloop. “I don’t know yet, but he made a comment last night about wanting to. It still surprises me that he said he would if he doesn’t have to work.”

  “How was your weekend with him? Did you get time alone even with his mom and stepdad hanging around you?”

  “Some.” I flinch before announcing, “They’re getting divorced.”

  She sets down her fork as her eyes widen. “What? Oh, no! That’s…not good.”

  “I know. He flipped out.”

  She picks up her fork and spears a tomato from her salad. “Why can’t things ever work in your favor? Damn!”

  “Tell me about it. We talked and he calmed down somewhat. I told him that I’ll move in with him.”

  She swallows hurriedly. “You what? Hadley! Why?”

  I reach for my can of Sprite, but pause in surprise. “That’s not the reaction I thought you’d have.”

  “I thought it was so refreshing for you to hold your own and not give in to what everyone else wants you to do. I was behind you. Why’d you give in?”

  Picking my spoon back up, I confess, “I miss him, Morgan. I don’t think he’s ever going to give in, so I had to. I really want to be with him even if he doesn’t want to get married.”

  “Okay. I just… I don’t know. I’m just a little worried that you’re giving up more than what he’s willing to ever do for you.”

  “I’m taking it all into consideration. I want us to be together though.”

  She sets her fork down and looks at me. “I support you, no matter what. I want you to know that.”

  I smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I do need your support.”

  Grinning, she says, “You have it. You always will.”

  I reach for my sandwich. “We actually had a nice weekend. We spent time at Bethany’s on the beach, saw some lighthouses and he took me to his high school. He gave me his varsity baseball jacket and class ring.” I sigh, smiling dreamily. “Isn’t that adorable?”

  She giggles and nods. “That is! Finn Wilder did that?”

  I giggle with her. “Yes. It was so sweet and I loved every second of it.” I slap my hand on the table. “Oooh! Did you see his dare?”

  “Oh, shit! No! What did he do?”

  “Get ready for this. He got a big heart padlock wrapped in a rosary chain tattooed on his chest, near his heart, to go with my key necklace. It also has Becks on it.”

  She excitedly gasps, slamming her apple juice bottle down. “His dare that he showed on his segment was of him getting a tattoo with your nickname on it?” I nod and she shakes her head. “Holy shit, Hadley! He tattooed your name on his heart. Really?”

  “Yep. He did. I still have a hard time believing it.”

  “I’ll have to watch that when we go upstairs. I can’t believe I didn’t watch it! I DVR’d it, but forgot! I’m sorry!”

  “That’s okay. I was blown away too.”

  “Do you think that means he might be changing his mind about marrying you? A tattoo is pretty permanent.”

  “Hopefully, so am I!” I laugh and then frown. “I doubt he’ll ever ask me to marry him, so I’m going to just have to accept it.”

  Morgan taps animatedly on the table. “Oh! I know! Why don’t you propose to him after the reception or the next morning? Maybe on the beach?”

  I shrink away from her suggestion. “I don’t know. What if he doesn’t like that? What if he even says no?” I don’t know what I’d do then. The car ride home would definitely be awkward.

  Her eyes fill with sympathy. “Then he’s not for you, Hadley. It’s as simple as that. If he can’t accept your proposal when you’re actually asking him with a ring, then it’s his loss. Let him go. That would definitely be the deal breaker for me. If he turns you down, cut him loose.”

  I stare down at my half-eaten ham and cheese. “You make it sound so easy. I couldn’t just break up with him, Morgan, especially since he tattooed my damn nickname on himself.”

  “Even if he turned you down?”

  I raise my head to look at her. “Even then… I think.” Damn it. My indecisiveness can be worse than Finn Wilder’s.

  “What’s wrong? You’re not telling me something.”

  I’ve told Rod about Finn telling me to go on the Pill, but that’s not something I can tell Morgan since she already thinks I’m on it. So, I need to tread carefully.

  “Finn and I had an argument.”

  “About? Getting married?”

  I grimace. “Worse.”

  Her eyes amplify. “Getting pregnant?”

  I give her a slight nod. “Yes. I asked him to have a baby with me.” I shrug and look out the window. “He said no.” That’s putting it mildly.

  “Without a discussion?”

  “Oh, there was a discussion.”

  She dubiously scoffs, “He just outright said no?”

  “Yep. We even argued again last night about it.”

  “Go off the Pill anyway.” Both Morgan and Simone have told me that. What the hell?

  I return my focus to her. “You and I have talked about this, Morgan. I could never deceive him like that. If he truly doesn’t want a baby, then why would I saddle him with one? And why would I want to share that with him when his heart isn’t in it? I’d just be asking for trouble and heartbreak for us both. I can’t and won’t do that.”

  She regards me contemplatively. “You’ve really thought about this.”

  I nod and sigh. “Inside out.”

  “Maybe you should move on then. If you really want to have
a baby and he’s unwilling to give you one, it might be time for you to part ways with him and find someone that will give you what you want, willingly.”

  I shake my head and prop my cheek on my hand, fighting tears. “I can’t. I love him. I want to marry him, not anyone else. I want his baby, not anyone else’s.”

  Morgan puts her hand across the table and I glance down at it. “I know. I’m only trying to give you suggestions. I do know how much you love him, Hadley. I hate seeing you like this, though.” I slide my hand over and grab hers. She squeezes mine and lets go. “Since your argument, have you talked about it?”

  “After our argument last night, he walked out on me while I was in the shower.”

  Shocking her again, she probes, “Are you fucking serious? Did he come back?”

  I shrug. “Probably, but I went home to my apartment while he was out. I haven’t talked to him yet. He’s in West Virginia today until Thursday.” I wonder if he’s supposed to be home sooner. He’s probably taking an extra day to check out his beloved bridge while he’s in the same state, not surprising me in the least. I hope he gets out of the car and gives the bridge a big, fat kiss, and then a middle finger from me.

  “He hasn’t called you?”

  “No. He was driving this morning with coworkers, so maybe he’s waiting until he’s alone later.”

  “Good afternoon, hoochies!” Rod throws his brown bag down next to me, sets a can of pop on the table and noisily pulls out the chair. Two women, who work in the accounting firm in our building, frown at him from a table nearby, which is the usual expression he draws from people in the cafeteria. Anywhere, in fact.

  I notice he’s now wearing a light gray dress shirt and a black tie with various white musical notes.

  “Where’ve you been?” Morgan huffs.

  “I had some things to take care of, Morgasm. Why? Did you miss me?”

  “Like hemorrhoids.” She looks at me. “Did he tell you I caught him stealing from Crick’s desk?”

  I scowl as he pulls out his smashed sandwich. “He failed to mention that part.”

  Unwrapping his flat sandwich, he argues, “I only stole his ruler.”

  I laugh in disbelief. “You stole a ruler?”

  He gestures aimlessly with the hand that is holding his sad sandwich. “Yeah. Why’s that asshole get one when I never did in my Welcome-to-the-Club kit?”

  “So now the poor guy is an asshole?” Morgan irritably questions him.

  “You bet your overactive ovaries. He’s an asshole because of his obnoxious name and he’s an asshole because he’s getting special perks.”

  I dubiously laugh. “Really, Rod. Perks? Again, a ruler?”

  “Do you have a ruler?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then shut your hole. I rest my case.”

  Morgan groans. “Can you please put that peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of its misery?”

  “As you wish, Mortuary.” He takes a huge, disgusting bite and chews with his mouth open at her. She frowns before she stretches and kicks him from underneath the table, but he anticipated it and quickly moves his legs out of her line of fire.

  He asks with a mouthful, “Did you put your name suggestions into the box in the kitchen?”

  I shake my head and look away from him. “Eww. No. I’m blank. Dare I ask if you did?”

  He happily nods as he swallows. “Oh, I did indeed. What do we win if our name is picked?”

  Morgan says, “I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

  “Hey! I have some good ones!”

  I laugh. “Bat Shit Crazies?”

  He grabs his bag and pulls out a bag of chips. “That’s my favorite! You’re just in a bad mood because you’re missing your new roommate.”

  I watch him with equal parts of fascination and revulsion as he scarfs chips with one hand and snaps open his can using the other. “I don’t know if he wants me to live with him now after walking out. I took all my things with me, so he had to have noticed that this morning or last night. Whichever.”

  Morgan waves her hand. “Please. I bet he’s panicking. He just doesn’t want to hear you tell him how stupid he was last night.”

  “My dad doesn’t want me to move in with him.”

  Rod stops shoveling his food. “What?”

  Morgan asks, “Why?”

  I look at the two of them and feel like a little girl complaining about her strict father. “He said he’s old-fashioned. He wants us to be married first.”

  Rod looks utterly confused. “Married? Who you and your dad?”

  I roll my eyes. “No, Rod! Jeez.” Now he sounds like Ricky.

  I continue, “He then gave me a guilt trip about me being his parents’ only granddaughter and how he’d like to walk me down the aisle before he dies.”

  Morgan states, “That’s harsh.”

  “Like I need pressure from him! I already feel enough pressure from myself and from people who make comments about me dating him for so long and not getting married, and then conversely, for not living with him. It’s ridiculous! I can’t freaking win!”

  Suddenly out of nowhere, I hear Finn’s deep voice. I look around the room and Morgan says, “Finn’s on TV.” His spot at Chimborazo Park is on during the commercial break. He’s wearing his red polo shirt which is opened two buttons, and he’s holding onto the railing next to him. His streaked hair is waving in the breeze and he’s grinning, his sparkling teeth gleaming in the sun as he charmingly talks to the camera. I wonder if this was shot before or after I showed up at the park. It’s still after our lunch time together, so he does look thoroughly fucked. It’s also right before he left to get his tattoo. That makes me smile at that thought floating around in his head right then.

  My heart constricts painfully. Damn. I miss him, even when we’re fighting.

  “I wish I could look that good in red. I can’t wear that color for the life of me,” Rod declares as Finn fades from the screen.

  “Okay…” I mutter, not wanting to press him about the details of why.

  Three women, who had stopped by our table to watch the TV screen, begin making comments about the commercial they just saw.

  The first blonde in a short, black skirt says, “Damn. He is so hot.”

  The brunette with her asks, “Did you see his dare Friday? He wasn’t wearing a shirt and when he moved, his jeans’ fly pulled away from him. I was hoping for a close-up of that!”

  The older woman with them adds, “Yeah, but he wasn’t wearing a shirt so he could get a tattoo of his girlfriend’s name on his chest.”

  Rod interrupts. “Wilder’s girlfriend is right here.” All three women spin around. He points his thumb at me and nods in my direction. “Yep. She’s the infamous Becks.” They look at us like we’re more than crazy.

  He says, “Total truth. So, you’re ogling the guy she loves, shares a home with, and bangs on a regular basis.”

  “Gregory Rodwell!” I screech, vaguely noticing Morgan nod and confirm Rod’s statement. Now the women all stare at me and I awkwardly smile. Err! Rod’s mouth! I thought I had a gaping hole of one!

  Correcting his earlier statement, Rod turns back to the women and amends, “Sorry. I should’ve said, ‘intercourses on a regular basis.’”

  I punch his arm. “Just shut your hole.”

  In the late afternoon, Brandon Rhodes calls us all into the conference room. Brandon is tall, lean, has wavy gray hair and wears glasses. I don’t see Brandon that often since he’s in and out of his office, in court, or on vacation somewhere exotic. I do know he likes to play tennis and sleeps with his much, much younger assistant. Okay. Maybe I don’t know that last one for sure, but it’s a valid hunch.

  “I just wanted to introduce everyone to the two new members of our staff, Sylvie Tucker and Grant Majorca.” Brandon holds his hand out to them and they check us out, smiling. Sylvie is a beautiful brunette with a pretty smile and bright blue eyes. Grant is tall, brown-eyed, and very handsome, having a
sharp-looking goatee. They both look to be in their late 20’s or early 30’s. Most likely, they’re younger than me.

  After we hear about their prestigious, yet boring, schooling, law backgrounds and courtroom experience, Brandon changes topics. “We also want to update you about our softball team endeavor. We still need a name and how many of you are participating. There’s a sign-up sheet in the kitchen. We need at least nine people, and there are 13 in this office. So, I would like for as many of you as possible joining our team. We can recruit people from another business in the building, but I would really like to have as many of you on our team as possible. It’ll be great fun for all of us and an enjoyable way to get to know the three new members of our office family.”

  Amos stands, his hands are in his pockets and he pivots to address us. Amos Vaughn is a husky man with a shaved head that shines under the overhead lights. I think he’s in his 40’s. He has a dark mustache and beard, a gruff voice and a constant scowl, reminding me of a stereotypical pissed off biker or a bouncer with a chip on his shoulder, seemingly lacking a sense of humor along with a neck. He even wears a gold hoop earring and has tattoos up and down both arms, from what I’ve seen at one of our summer picnics. With his bulky muscles, he looks like he could snap your neck like a twig. Maybe he does date men, but Rod is 100 times girlier than Amos, and teasing Rod brings me some joy to my boring day.

  Amos nearly growls, “Since we don’t have that many members of our team, we need to find volunteers outside our office for coaches. We need a head coach who can assign us positions on the field and coordinate our practices and games with the other teams. Possibly two or three assistants since not everyone will most likely be available all at once. So, if you know anyone that has baseball/softball experience, let us know.” Period. The end. Thank you so much for your insight, Amos.

  Rod elbows me and I lean away from him. Fleetingly, I glance around the room and see Shasta looking at me. I don’t even think she knows I’m dating Finn Wilder. Maybe she doesn’t even know who he is. She’s only been working here for four months and I’ve not brought Finn around for anything or mentioned him to her. I doubt Brandon, or anyone else for that matter, remembers who I’m even dating either, and so far, Val doesn’t volunteer the information since she’s busy writing in a notebook.