Tobias. If he didn’t come soon, she would be forced to decide whether or not to go and tell him the news. If he’d accepted that they should get an annulment, it was a moot point.
Unable to keep from blubbering, she handed the child to her mother and made excuses to leave. Lucille barely made it inside the spare bedroom in Aurora’s house before allowing herself a good cry.
“Lucille?” Aurora knocked softly. “Can I come in?”
She wiped the tears away and blew her nose as her friend entered. “I don’t think he’s coming for me. My husband is not fighting for us. What am I going to do?” The ache in her chest became so painful that Lucille pressed her palms against it. “I should have stayed.”
“We can go there. Instead of waiting for Eleanor and Wilhelmina to come next week to quilt.”
“No.” Lucille shook her head. “I think everything should continue as planned. I am not going to beg Tobias to take me back. It was a chance I took in my decision to leave, so I have to live with the consequences.”
Despite her sour mood, the evening meal was delicious. The conversation revolved around the upcoming church festival and one of Evan’s patients who’d had an unfortunate encounter with a bear.
Knocks at the front door silenced them and Evan stood. Aurora let out a breath. “A medical emergency, I suppose.”
The women didn’t pay any attention to the door. Instead, they drank their tea and perused a catalog Gemina had loaned them.
“Lucille,” Evan touched her shoulder. “Tobias is here. He is outside and wishes to speak to you. If you want to talk to him, I will allow him in.”
Her stomach flipped and she looked to Aurora for assurance. “Talk to him, darling. It’s best you hear what he has to say.” Aurora stood. “Evan, should we go for an evening stroll?”
The couple went to the doorway and, once they donned coats, left and allowed Tobias in.
Her husband, thinner than she remembered, stood with his hat in hand. By his drawn cheeks and dark circles under his eyes, he’d not slept much. Thinking of the wonderful meal she’d just shared, guilt threatened to overtake her.
“Would you like some coffee?”
She stood after he nodded.
“Yes, please.”
Thankful for the short escape, Lucille took a deep breath and prepared a cup of coffee. After fortifying herself for whatever came, she went back to find Tobias had remained standing next to the table.
Her hand trembled as she placed the cup on the tabletop. Tobias pulled a chair out for her to sit and then lowered to one next to it. He ignored the coffee and, instead, studied her face.
“You look so much better. Beautiful.” He attempted a smile, but failed. “I have struggled with what to say to you.”
It was inevitable that he’d ask for a permanent separation. Could they get a marriage annulled if she admitted to being with child? Lucille fought not to panic, pushing down the urge to throw up, run from the room, or sob. “I wondered if you’d ever come.”
“I came several times. I’ve spent days watching to ensure you were well and had not left to go back to Philadelphia.”
“Oh.” Her heart lightened with a sliver of hope, yet he’d not asked her to return home. If he wasn’t willing to change, she wasn’t sure what to do.
“I missed you, Lucille. I am sorry for what I put you through.” He lifted his right hand and touched the side of her face. “Please forgive me and come home.”
She wanted to throw herself into his arms with relief, but it was short lived. He’d not said anything about changing.
“I am not sure. I can’t return and fall back into despair. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“What if I promise to change? You can visit with Wilhelmina and Eleanor, neither of which are speaking to me at the moment.”
“I can visit with them anytime I wish?”
“Within reason, yes.”
Lucille let out a frustrated huff. “What is within reason in your opinion?”
At least he had the sense to look sheepish. “What I meant is as long as you maintain our home and prepare meals and such.”
“That is reasonable. What about town? Can I come to town with them if they travel here? Wilhelmina and Eleanor come weekly with either Owen or Jacob for escort.”
It was obvious by his frown he struggled with that one. Although her heart went out to him, it was imperative she knew exactly what to expect. “Very well.”
While she considered what else to discuss, Tobias never stopped looking at her. His green gaze bore into hers. “It has been so hard without you by my side, especially at night. I miss you”
“I have missed you as well, Tobias.”
He stood and pulled her up. At once, they fell against each other. The familiarity of his strong body brought tears to her eyes. Tobias laid his cheek on top of her head and hugged her tight. “Please, tell me if I do something not to your liking. I promise to listen to you and try my best.”
“That’s all I ask. I will strive to be happy to stay home most days. But I must see Gemina and Gladys at least every other week.”
His head moved. “Of course. I will bring you…er…you can arrange for anyone you wish to accompany you.”
The next morning, she and Tobias returned home. Lucille’s heart dropped as soon as they arrived at their home. Heaviness enveloped her chest and weight pressed down on her shoulders. With each step toward the front door, her legs grew so stiff that she could barely hide it.
She hesitated and looked back toward the open fields, scared of the senseless emotions.
Upon crossing the threshold, she was greeted by brightness. The curtains were pushed aside, allowing sunshine in, and every surface gleamed. From the front room, she could see into the kitchen and it, too, was spotless.
Obviously expecting she’d, once again, fail as a housekeeper, her sister-in-law and Wilhelmina had been there to ensure the house was as clean as possible. Was she that pathetic?
A knot formed in her stomach as she pushed forward to the bedroom. This room was, once again, in a perfect state. Even the bed was as neat as a pin.
Tobias placed her bags onto a chair in the bedroom and looked to her with expectancy.
“The house is perfect. I will have to thank your sister and Wilhelmina.” Lucille gave him the best smile she could muster. “Once I get unpacked, I will start supper.”
He came to her in a rush, his lips seeking hers.
The kisses soon turned to caresses and Lucille was lost to her husband. Clothing was discarded without care and they fell onto the bed, a tangle of limbs. Lucille needed to touch him, to feel every part of Tobias’ body and find assurance he accepted her regardless of her faults.
With her body, she conveyed to him the same. He was perfection to her, the man who’d been chosen as her partner in life. No matter the rocky start, it was in the heat of their lovemaking that nothing else mattered but the man joining with her.
Heated whispers and soft kisses turned into frantic lovemaking as they raced to climb higher and higher. Lucille cried out when she burst into pieces as she clung to Tobias. He continued moving in and out of her body until he, too, lost control.
They lay in the quiet aftermath of making love, his slick body covering hers. Lucille caressed his back and pressed a kiss to the column of his neck. “I will try harder if you will, Tobias.”
“You don’t have to do anything different, Lucille. It was me who failed you.” He lifted and rolled to his back, bringing her to lie across his chest. “I hope, over time, you will truly forgive me.”
“I have. I feel horrible that someone had to come and care for your home.”
When he chuckled, she lifted to look at him. “It’s not funny.”
“No one came to do the cleaning. I did it.” There was pride in his voice and his chest expanded. “I would make someone a good wife. Except I can’t cook, so maybe not.”
The weight lifted off her shoulders and she laughed. “I think you
would look darling in an apron and skirt.”
Their laughter filled the room, along with it, the freshness of starting over.
Chapter Eighteen
Between the sun and the brisk wind, laundry dried quickly. Lucille hurried to take the garments from the clothesline so she could iron them and ensure all was done for the day. Once that was done, she’d start supper.
The last week had been quite peaceful. She’d visited Wilhelmina without any incident or admonishment from Tobias. He’d actually asked about her day and continued to eat the day before, not seeming at all phased by her unplanned trip.
While she ironed his shirts, Lucille prepared for giving Tobias the news of the pregnancy. Every time she’d started to tell him, nerves would grip her, keeping the words trapped.
There was no doubt he’d be happy at the news. Of that, she had no misgivings. What bothered Lucille was his potential reaction. Knowing she carried his child could push him back to being overly protective again. By her calculations, it would be another seven months until the child’s birth. Just three months after Wilhelmina. The children would grow up together, play with each other.
Her lips curved at the thought and she patted her still flat stomach. “We need to figure out how to tell your papa,” she said in a soft tone.
As the day progressed, her nerves increased. By the time Tobias came home, she could barely keep a straight thought.
She talked nonstop through the evening meal about nonsense. Then she insisted they go for a walk where she continued chatting without stopping. Tobias finally took her by the shoulders.
Turning her toward him, her husband smiled down. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy our conversations. I look forward to being home every single hour I’m out there. However, tonight you are over tired and are doing anything to stay awake.” The poor man misunderstood her nerves and thought her taxed and in need of rest.
Lucille pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I am a bit tired, but I don’t think that’s why I can’t stop talking.”
“You are alone all day.”
“Well…yes.”
“You missed me.” The corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked grin.
“That is true.” Lucille smiled back. “It’s just that…”
He squeezed his eyes shut and then blinked slowly. Too busy with her incessant talking and nerves, she’d not noticed the light darkening under his eyes, or the fact he could barely keep them open.
Lucille smiled. “Why don’t we go inside? I’ll heat water for you to take a bath and then we can go to bed early.”
“That sounds perfect.” He didn’t argue with her and went directly to the water pump. Both carried buckets of water to heat and while she went for a third, he set up the bathtub in front of the hearth.
Not even an hour later, Tobias was fast asleep, his soft snores the only sound in the room.
Next to him in the darkness, Lucille looked up at the ceiling. Another day had passed and she’d not told him about the baby. If things kept up, he’d guess by her burgeoning stomach.
Gray clouds gathered two days later. Lucille hurried to Eleanor’s house carrying a basket of muffins and some sewing notions. The wind blew and, with it, fat raindrops plopped onto the ground. “Goodness.” Lucille picked up her skirts and rushed faster as she spotted the house and let out a sigh of relief.
“There you are,” Eleanor exclaimed and came to greet her. “I considered neither you nor Wilhelmina would come, but there she is now.”
Laughing at her dripping bundle, Wilhelmina stopped just inside the door and shivered. “I will have to change clothes. It seems I didn’t miss the rain like you, Lucille.”
Before long, the women were gathered in chairs chatting and sewing on the first of three quilts. The first one would be for Marcus and Wilhelmina, the second for Aurora and third for Lucille.
“I hope Tobias thinks to come here first.” Lucille tugged the thread through the fabric. “He’ll be upset to not find me home.”
Eleanor arched a brow. “This will be a good test of how he does at not finding you home. That fool will probably come here no matter how bad the storm just to find you.”
“We’ll see.” Wilhelmina’s soft smile and warm gaze met hers. “I think Tobias learned his lesson. He’ll think twice before making a big scene about you not being home.”
The storm gained forced and, soon, Jacob, James and Marcus rushed into the house. The women fussed over the drenched men with drying cloths and insisting they remove most of their wet clothes by the hearth.
Lucille’s heart sank at not seeing Tobias. There would be no warming fire at their house. He knew she came to sew twice weekly. Would he really think she’d head home in the rain?
“He insisted on heading home although I told him you were probably here,” her father-in-law explained.
Eleanor shook her head and went to the kitchen. “I better prepare some coffee and set out those muffins you brought, Lucille. It will keep them out of our hair for another couple hours.”
Once the men were settled, the women began sewing again, although Lucille’s mind was not there. She looked up to find both Eleanor and Wilhelmina looking at her with puzzled expressions.
“Did you ask me something?”
“Yes,” Wilhelmina said. “I asked you where you were.”
“No doubt worrying about Tobias,” Eleanor piped up and let out a huff. “Believe me, he’s either sitting at home brooding or heading here. Although since he’s not arrived yet, I will pick my first choice.”
Thunder sounded and Tobias looked up from his sketch. The horse’s screeching carried through the windows. His horse was terrified of storms. There was little he could do. He’d placed a blanket over the animal and had closed the doors to the stable. The building was newly built and solid. He’d ensured the roof was in good shape.
He itched to go to his parents’ home to verify Lucille was there, but it would not sit well with his feisty wife. As usual, he should have listened to his father who’d assured him Lucille would have remained there and not gone home in the rain. The house was quiet, the aroma of his meal lingering in the air.
With the crackling of the wood in the fireplace and storm outside, the atmosphere was peaceful, yet lacking.
Since she’d returned, her warm body next to his at night was the most precious thing he’d ever experienced. He hoped not to have to spend many nights apart during their marriage. His lips curved at considering just weeks earlier, he’d resisted the idea of marriage.
The sun wasn’t up yet when Tobias headed to the large house. He’d barely slept all night as one scenario after another played in his head. One time during the night, he’d woken in a panic when dreaming Lucille was dead. After talking himself out of hurrying over in the middle of the night, he’d tossed and turned for the next several hours.
The only one up and about was his father. Jacob sat on the front porch smoking his pipe with the bible on his right thigh. “Boy, you beat the chickens up this morning.” His father chuckled. “You’ve never been an early riser. It must be you missed your wife last night.”
He resisted the urge to hurry inside. “Is she up yet?”
“No one is up yet. May as well sit down here and wait for a bit.”
He settled into the other rocker. “It was hard not to come here last night. But you remember how much my horse hates thunder.”
“Yeah, he would have probably bucked you off and rushed back to the stable.” Jacob chuckled. “They had bets going as to when you’d show up.”
“Anyone bet on me coming in the morning?”
His father shook his head. “I’m not going to say a word. Let them tell you if they want to.”
“I missed her, Pa.” Tobias let out a long sigh. “It’s not normal is it?”
“Of course it is son, especially so newly married. She’s your wife, a part of you now. It’s normal you should miss her when she’s not by your side.”
His father clo
sed the bible, his head bent in thought. “One day, you’ll wonder how you ever existed without her.”
Tobias dreaded meeting his father’s gaze. The question had been thoughtless. Although he hated every minute without his mother, it had to be so much harder for his father. “I’m sorry, Pa. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
A broad smile crossed his lips and Jacob’s eyes twinkled. “I have been praying for you and Lucille. Asking the Lord to bring you two to love one another. Seems my prayers are being answered.”
Heat claimed his face and Tobias looked away to the sun rising on the horizon. “I think you’re right, Pa. I love that woman. Not sure how to tell her.”
This time, his father laughed. “At the right time, you will say it. Don’t think too much into things, son, relax a bit.”
“Yes, Sir.”
The front door opened and Lucille looked from Tobias to Jacob. “You’re here.”
In two strides he had his arms around Lucille, hugging her close. He kissed her temple. “It’s good to know you’re unharmed.”
“Of course, I’m fine. It was storming. You should have come here instead of going all the way home.”
Although he loosened his hold, Tobias walked inside with her pulled close. The house was slowly coming to life. Currently, the lights in the kitchen were the only illumination.
This would be the perfect time to tell Lucille how he felt. The myriad of emotions tumbled within him. Relief, love, pride and the need to protect fought for attention.
“Lucille…” he started and she turned her face up to him. Instead of speaking, he kissed her. She softened against him and cupped his jaw with one hand.
“You are so sweet today. Maybe I’ll stay away more often.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she dodged a second kiss and went toward the kitchen. “How about a cup of coffee?” Her gaze moved past him to the doorway where Eleanor’s husband hesitated.
Lucille, A Lucky Bride (Brides for All Seasons Book 3) Page 11
