“Fuck, you smell so good, but you taste even better.” He groaned before sucking on my clit again.
I exploded for the second time. A scream ripped from my throat as he worked me through my orgasm. When it passed, my entire body felt like jelly. A thin sheen of sweat covered my body. My breasts rose and fell heavily as I tried to calm my breath.
He pulled away and stood long enough to discard his boxers. Then, he was on top of me again. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come.” He stared down at me.
The intensity in his eyes terrified me in the most delicious way.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. You just…lose yourself in it,” he said.
He leaned down and kissed me softly before pushing into me. I bit down on his shoulder as I tried not to scream out in ecstasy. He filled me completely, his body fitting perfectly against mine. No one could ever compare to him.
He dropped his head to my neck. He was buried deep inside me, but he didn’t move. Impatiently, I shoved my hips up. He let out a ragged breath as I continued to move against him, fucking him from underneath. He stayed still for a moment before his control finally broke. He pulled back and then plunged into me, deep and hard, his eagerness matching my own. He never slowed, thrusting into me so roughly that I felt a twinge of pain each time. I didn’t care. It only brought me closer to the edge.
“So fucking sweet.” He moaned as he sucked my nipple into his mouth.
I cried out as a third and final orgasm rocked my body.
“Oh God. Yes!” I shouted as I clung to him.
He called out my name as he came, buried to the hilt inside of me.
“I can’t…oh God,” I cried out as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me.
His body locked up as he released inside me. His forehead dropped onto mine, his body shaking.
Every time we were together, the sex would get better. We knew each other so intimately now. We knew where to touch the other, how to move. Our bodies connected perfectly. Without a doubt, I knew that I’d never find someone like Adam again.
His body relaxed before going rigid again. He pulled out and rolled to the side, breathing heavily. “I didn’t wear a condom—again. Motherfucker!”
Great, he was pissed off—again.
“It’s fine. I’m on the pill,” I told him, hoping that he’d let it go. I was too tired to fight with him at this point.
“It’s not fine. There’s always a chance—”
“Adam, stop. I’m not going to end up pregnant and try to tie you down with a kid. Chill the fuck out.” There was a bite to my words. I didn’t mean for them to come out so harshly, but I couldn’t help it. Our last conversation like this ran through my mind. He didn’t want to be trapped by me. Asshole.
He let out a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so used to—”
“Covering your ass? Well, I guess I should say, covering your dick.”
He smirked at me. “Funny.”
I rolled away from him and stood. I didn’t want to continue this conversation any longer. I walked to the dresser and pulled on a new pair of underwear and a bra. If he kept ripping my clothes off, I was going to bill him for my next shopping trip.
I found a tank top and shorts in the closet. After pulling them on, I walked to the bathroom and started running a brush through my hair. I glanced up in the mirror. The girl staring back at me looked so…lost. I felt lost. Things with Adam kept going from bad to worse.
And now I knew I loved him.
I was so fucked.
I couldn’t tell him—ever. I’d seen the way he acted when I even hinted at caring about him. If I used the L word around him, he’d make an Adam-shaped hole in the nearest wall as he tried to escape me.
I pondered where to go from here as I dropped my brush on the sink and picked up my toothbrush. It didn’t matter—at least, not right now. Adam would be leaving in only a few hours. The whole band would, along with Chloe. I had a little over a month until school started, and they returned home. That would give me more than enough time to sort through whatever bullshit was going through my head. Hopefully, I could pull my head out of my ass by then.
When I returned to the bedroom, Adam was up and already dressed. He sat on the end of the bed, watching as I approached. I sat down next to him, careful to keep a few inches between us. When we touched, our brains would shut off. I couldn’t afford to let that happen right now. Well, I couldn’t afford to let it happen again. We needed to talk before he left.
“I’m sorry for hooking up with Jordan,” I told him.
He tried to smile but failed. “I overreacted. I saw you two together, and something exploded in my head. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
“You shouldn’t have, but I shouldn’t have gone to him. We’re both at fault here.”
“No, you had every right to go to him. What we are, what we agreed to…I don’t know what I’m trying to say here.”
I smiled at him. “Were you jealous?”
“Yeah, I guess I was. I told you I was okay with you being with other guys, but I didn’t think I’d actually have to see you with one of them. That sucked donkey dick.”
“I’d probably react the same if I saw you with another girl,” I told him. “What does that say about us?” To me, it says that we care more than we’re willing to admit.
“That we’re jealous assholes?” he teased.
“Maybe.”
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “We still cool? If not, I get it. If you’d rather we parted ways now, I won’t try to contact you when I get back to Morgantown after the tour. It’ll be impossible not to see each other since Chloe and Drake are attached at the hip, but we can still be…friends if you want.”
The thought of him not seeking me out made me want to cry. Even if he wasn’t willing to give me what I truly wanted, I couldn’t stand the thought of not having him around at all. I would take whatever he gave me. I was pathetic.
“We’re fine, Adam. Relax. I like your dick too much to get rid of you.”
He smiled at that, his whole body relaxing. “It is a really nice dick. I mean, look at it.”
He stood and started to pull his shorts down, but I stopped him. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“I’ve already seen it numerous times, but thanks for the offer.”
He winked at me. “Anytime, babe.”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. “We should probably head downstairs. You guys will be leaving soon.”
He nodded before pulling me to my feet. His mouth sought mine, and he kissed me softly, so softly that it took my breath away. I didn’t know he had it in him.
He pulled away without another word and walked to the door. He grabbed his bag off the floor before opening the door and disappearing through it. I sighed before following him. We walked down the stairs in silence. When we walked outside, everyone else was already standing around the bus.
I moved away from Adam and tackled Chloe from behind. She squealed as I jumped onto her back, my weight toppling us both over. I laughed as we fell to the ground.
“Jesus, Amber!” Chloe shouted, fighting not to smile.
I poked her in the ribs, and she lost it.
“Asshole,” she said.
“But you love me anyway.” I said as we climbed to our feet. Once we were both standing again, I pulled her into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too. But it’s not like we’ll be gone for long. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“I can’t wait,” I said.
Logan joined us. He wrapped his arms around both of us, picking us up off the ground in the biggest bear hug ever. I laughed as he put us back down. The terrible threesome would always have each other’s backs. I had no doubt about it.
“I love you guys,” Chloe said as we separated.
“We love you, too,” I told her.
Drake walked over to us and wrapped his arms around Chloe
from behind. His eyes never left Logan. My own eyes were rolled so far back into my head that I could see my brain. Okay, maybe not but close. Jealous much?
“You ready?” Drake asked her.
“Yeah.” She gave us one last smile before walking toward the bus.
Adam brushed past me, stopping long enough to whisper into my ear, “I’ll see you soon. I’ll call when we get back. If you’re lucky, I might even text you a few times between now and then.”
I swatted his ass as he moved away from me. That had to be the most unromantic good-bye ever.
Adam glanced back at me once when he reached the bus. His eyes hardened as he looked past me. I turned to see Jordan a few feet away from me. He smirked at Adam before stepping up to me and throwing his arm around me.
“Cut it out,” I mumbled as I tried to remove his arm.
“Nah. This’ll give him something to think about while he’s gone,” Jordan mock-whispered to me.
I looked back to Adam. He was still staring at us with his fists clenched at his sides. He shook his head once before climbing onto the bus.
It’s just a month. I can handle a month away from him, I thought as he disappeared.
Little did I know, it’d be much longer than a month—much, much longer.
Morgantown, West Virginia
If there was one thing I knew for certain, it was the fact that life was constantly throwing curveballs. It seemed even the most solid of plans could change in a moment, altering the future so distinctly that I could only sit there and stare at fate, wondering what the fuck had happened.
It seemed that my group of friends had more curveballs thrown at us than anyone else in the world. Fate could have at least handed us a cookie and maybe a bottle of Jager to help us as we tried to figure out what the fuck to do.
Cosmic whiplash wasn’t fucking cool—at all.
Adam didn’t come home at the end of the summer. None of the band did. They’d signed with a label in California only a few weeks after leaving Chloe’s aunt’s house. When Adam had texted me to let me know what was happening, I tried not to care that I would probably never see him again. At least he’d texted.
I did care though. I cared a whole lot.
Thankfully, I had something to distract me from my own problems—Chloe’s problems. She’d left Drake less than two weeks after going on tour with them. It’d turned out that Drake had a little problem with illegal substances—mainly cocaine. That would’ve been hard on anyone, but add in the fact that Chloe’s mother had been a drunk and an addict—well, it wasn’t hard to imagine how badly it crushed her.
Once we made it back to West Virginia, Logan and I spent almost all our free time with Chloe. We even rented a place instead of staying in a dorm so that we could be around her. Neither of us wanted to leave her on her own for long. For the first few months, she was almost comatose. I’d never seen her like that before, not even when her mom had died.
Adam kept in touch—kind of. He’d text me once or twice a month. I almost wished he hadn’t. Every time I saw his name appear on my cell phone screen, I’d want to throw it. I still cared about him, and being forced to read his messages was pure torture. And I was being forced. My mind would scream at me to delete them, but I couldn’t. I would have to know what he wanted to tell me. If I ignored them, I’d have a constant ache in the pit of my stomach.
The band was doing well out in L.A. They were working on their album and preparing for its release and the tour that would follow. Adam was excited, as were the rest of the band members—except for Drake. He was too busy shoving powder up his nose to give a damn about anything else—Adam’s words, not mine.
Just when things were starting to settle down with Chloe, Drake came back into her life. The asshole showed up on our doorstep six months after Chloe had left him. He swore he was clean and confessed his undying love.
Chloe took him back. I wanted to kick her, but when I watched them together, I knew she would’ve taken him back no matter what. They loved each other that much.
Personally, I would have made him suffer a little more. But what did I know about love? Absolutely nothing apparently.
It was like someone had flipped a switch on Chloe. She went from a moping, miserable creature to the happiest woman in the world. I kind of wanted to vomit a little bit when watching her practically skip around. I was happy for her though. The poor girl deserved some happiness.
With her problems no longer an issue, my own started to creep in on me. I thought about Adam more than I wanted to. I thought about him a lot—daily. It started to wear on me until I felt like I was going to explode. It had been over six months, and I still wanted him. My body craved him, practically begging for his touch some nights.
It got to be too much to handle. I hadn’t been with anyone since Adam. Six months of nothing but my vibrator and a little imagination was more than I could take. I needed to get laid.
So, I did—several times by several different men that I could barely remember. I wasn’t proud of what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. When I was with someone else, I wouldn’t think of Adam as much. For a few blissful hours, I could forget about Adam and the way he’d made me feel. It was only temporary though. As soon as I came back down to earth, I’d wish that I were with him.
Adam had become an addiction to me. I hadn’t even realized it until he was gone. Like any other addiction, the withdrawals were horrible. And no matter how much time had passed, I still felt lost. So, I found a new addiction—sex. Only it was with anyone I could find. Sex made me feel alive.
I kept myself in check until the end of our sophomore year of college, mainly because of Chloe. Only a few days after classes had ended, Drake picked her up and moved her to L.A. where he lived—where Adam lived.
Adam and Chloe had both abandoned me. Without them, I felt alone. Logan was still around, but his moods would range from sad to downright evil once she’d left. She’d abandoned him, too, and he felt it. He started spending more and more time away from the house. I wouldn’t dare ask him where he went. I didn’t want to know.
With no one around to hide from, I let myself go. Before, I’d only gone out once or twice a week. That wasn’t enough. I started going out more and more, and then it turned into every single night. Sometimes, I would bring the men home. After Logan had caught me a few times, I started going back to the guy’s places. It wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but I was past caring. All I wanted was a few hours of blissful silence from my constantly churning mind. If the man wouldn’t take me home, we’d find other places to go—the restroom of the bar, the backseat of a car, or even a hotel room. It didn’t matter to me. As long as I got off, I was content.
I knew what I was. The other women at the bars I frequented would whisper it as I walked by.
Whore. Slut. Trash.
I didn’t deny it. Why would I? I was doing the exact same thing I’d watched Adam do. I would sleep with anyone who looked at me.
I was living in my own personal hell, and a part of me loved it.
Naturally, things had to change on me again, and it was just when I’d started to feel comfortable with my hell. Go figure.
One Year Later—August
Morgantown, West Virginia
When my phone started ringing with a number I didn’t recognize flashing across the screen, the last person I’d expected it to be was Drake. I liked the guy, and he might belong to Chloe, but even I had to agree that he was hot as hell. It was just that we weren’t exactly best buddies. He’d never called me before.
“Hello?” I answered cautiously, unsure of what to expect.
“Amber?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Drake?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
What the fuck? “Um…hi?”
He chuckled. “I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I’m calling.”
“Well, yeah, a little,” I mumbled as I dropped down onto my bed.
“
I need your help.”
“Please tell me you didn’t fuck up again, Drake. I’m so not helping you if you’re using again,” I said, worried.
“I’m not,” he said, his voice tinged with anger. “I’d never do that again. I’m not a total moron.”
“That’s debatable,” I mumbled.
“You’re…pleasant to talk to this evening,” he grumbled back.
I rubbed my temples. I could already feel a headache coming on. “Sorry. What do you need, Drake?”
He hesitated. “I need your help.”
“You already said that. What do you need my help with?” My patience was thin tonight.
He was nervous. I could tell that much, even over the phone. I was almost afraid to know what he wanted from me.
His next words came out in a rush, “I want you to plan my wedding.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, sure that I’d heard him wrong.
He sighed. “Chloe and I want to get married, but she’s freaking about planning it—like, completely freaking. She’s terrified, and she has no clue what to do. For some reason, she thinks we need this big, elaborate wedding. She doesn’t want something like that, but she thinks she’s supposed to have one like that.”
“Okay…I’m still confused. What does that have to do with me?”
“You’re…girlie. You could plan a wedding, no problem. Neither of us want anything fancy, especially not Chloe. She admitted that she didn’t. I don’t know why she thinks we have to have something fancy. She’s a damn lunatic. Simple is best. In fact, I have the perfect place in mind for where to have it, but I’ll need your help since it’s in West Virginia.”
“Aw, this is so cute.” I said, grinning. “Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”
He exhaled heavily, like I’d just taken the weight of the world off his shoulders. Guys were so strange.
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