“Hey, you ready?” Adam asked.
I looked up to see him standing in the doorway to my room.
“Yeah.” I stood and walked over to him.
We walked out to his car side by side. My heart was beating in my chest like a hummingbird because of the fact that he was so close and because of where we were going.
Today was my first doctor’s appointment.
“You nervous?” Adam asked on the drive over.
“A little.”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
“Yep. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He sighed. “Quit thanking me for every little thing, Amber. No thanks are needed. I want to be here. It’s not like you’re forcing me.”
Adam stayed true to his word. He stood next to me as I checked in at the doctor’s office. When I was called back, he followed me and waited next to me as they took my medical history and weight. He even stood outside the door while I peed in a cup. I couldn’t help but laugh at that.
Once we were taken to a room, the nurse handed me a paper gown. “Go ahead and change into this. The doctor will be in shortly,” she said before leaving.
I stared at the gown in my hands, appalled. I looked up when Adam chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You should see your face right now.”
“Shush.” I held up the piece of paper. “There’s no freaking back to it.”
He laughed again. “And how is that different from your normal wardrobe?”
I flipped him off. “This is different.” I sighed. “Turn around, so I can change.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before,” he goaded.
“If you want to keep your man parts intact, turn around.”
He rolled his eyes before turning away. I stripped out of my clothes as fast as I could and pulled on the gown. When I looked up, he was watching me.
“You looked.”
He shrugged unapologetically.
I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. A moment later, a doctor and the nurse from earlier stepped in. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the doctor was a woman.
“Hi, you must be Amber.” She smiled at me.
I nodded. “Yes, and this is Adam.”
She glanced over at Adam. “It’s nice to meet both of you. I’m Dr. Dover.”
Adam surprised me when he stood and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“All right, let’s get started.” She walked to the counter and pulled on a pair of gloves. “We need to do an exam first. We’ll go over a few things after, and if we have time, we’ll see if we can find the baby’s heartbeat.”
“Exam?” I asked warily.
She nodded. “Yes. I’ll be as gentle as possible, I promise.”
She sat down on a stool in front of me and had me put my feet in the stirrups. Under normal circumstances, I would die from embarrassment, but with Adam in the room, it was ten times worse.
“Whoa, what is that?” Adam asked.
The doctor smiled at him. “It’s a speculum.”
“You’re going to put that in her?”
I groaned and put my hands over my face.
The doctor laughed. “Yes. If you’re uncomfortable, you can step outside.”
Adam hesitated before shaking his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
One uncomfortable Pap smear later, I was able to sit up. I didn’t dare look at Adam. The doctor threw her gloves away and picked up her clipboard. I listened as she explained how things would go over the next few months. I had about a million questions, but she took her time and answered them all.
Once we were finished, she smiled at me. “Let’s see if we can hear that heartbeat. How does that sound?”
I smiled, suddenly excited over the prospect of hearing my baby. “I’d love that.”
“Sometimes, it’s hard to hear the heartbeat this early, so I can’t promise anything, but we’ll try.”
I lay back on the table and closed my eyes. They jerked open when I felt my gown being lifted. I watched the nurse move it up until it was above my stomach. I looked over when Adam stepped closer. He took my hand in his, and he smiled down at me, excitement in his eyes.
I held my breath as the nurse put some kind of goo on my tummy.
“You ready?” the doctor asked.
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes when I felt something pushing against my stomach.
The doctor moved it around for a few minutes, and then I heard it. My breath caught in my throat as I listened to a steady swish, swish, swish filling the room. I opened my eyes to see Adam smiling widely.
“Is that the heartbeat?” he asked.
“Yes. It sounds good,” the doctor said.
Adam squeezed my hand tighter. I watched his face. His expression nearly brought tears to my eyes. It was filled with so much wonder and excitement.
“That’s our baby, babe,” he whispered.
My throat clogged with emotion. “Yeah, it is.”
Too soon, the doctor moved away, and the room fell silent.
“All right. Go ahead, and get dressed. A prescription for prenatal vitamins will be waiting for you at the checkout counter. Take one daily. I’ll see you two in a month. Call me if you have any problems.”
“Thank you,” I said as I sat up.
Once the doctor and nurse were gone, I dressed quickly. I didn’t bother to tell Adam to look away this time. I knew he wouldn’t. We left the room and walked down to the checkout counter. I set up my next appointment and grabbed my prescription before leaving.
We stopped at a pharmacy on the way home to grab my vitamins. The car ride home was totally silent. I glanced at Adam a few times, but he kept his eyes on the road. When we walked into the house, I headed for my room, unable to take his silence any longer. I had no idea what it meant. I was afraid he’d suddenly decided that it was too much to handle and that he wanted me to leave.
“Hey, wait a minute,” Adam said as he grabbed my arm.
“What?” I asked quietly, praying that he wasn’t about to tell me to get out.
“That was…amazing, wasn’t it?” he asked.
Did I dare hope…
“Yeah, it was.”
He smiled down at me. I sucked in a shocked breath when he pulled me to him and hugged me tightly.
“We’re having a baby,” he said.
Once I realized he wasn’t going to kick me to the curb, I grinned, my body relaxing into his. “We are.”
He finally released me after several moments. I stepped back, unsure of what I was supposed to say or do. I was so afraid I’d somehow mess up what little headway I’d made with him. He looked down at me, his face suddenly serious. He stepped closer and raised his hand to cup my cheek. I held my breath, not daring to move or speak. I watched as he lowered his head. When his lips connected with my forehead, I almost fell over.
“We’re having a baby,” he whispered again.
“You awake?”
I opened my eyes to see Adam standing above me. I’d been lying out on the beach, hoping to get a decent tan before I got too fat to let anyone see me in a bikini.
“Yeah.” I glanced down at my phone. “You’re home early.”
He sat down next to me and pulled his shirt off. My eyes had a mind of their own as they trailed down his bare skin.
“We finished up early. The album’s almost done. We’ll start on final edits soon.”
“That’s awesome. I can’t wait to hear what you guys have. I’m sure it’ll kick ass.”
He smirked. “Doesn’t it always?”
I stuck my tongue out at him. Things had been different between us since my doctor’s appointment.
Another two weeks had gone by. We were talking more now. We’d even spend time together when he was home. I was starting to believe that Adam might actually not hate me.
And my feelings for him had amplified tenfold. Seeing a softer, more caring side of him made me want him more than I ever had. I forced myself not to think about it. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t ruin everything—again.
He glanced down at the book that was lying next to me in the sand. “What’s that?”
“A baby name book. I know it’s early, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to start looking.”
“Find any good ones?” he asked.
“A couple. I really like Gabriella for a girl and Jason for a boy.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Why are you looking at girl names? We’re having a boy.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. We’re going to have a boy. We’ll name him Adam Jr., and he’ll be awesome. The end.”
I laughed. “If it’s a girl, I’m going to laugh my ass off at you.”
“Let me guess…you want a girl.”
I shrugged. “Kind of. I’m not really worried about whether it’s a girl or boy though. I just want the baby to be healthy.”
He reached out and took my hand in his. “I was thinking I could start on a nursery in one of the spare rooms. You know, set up a crib and all that shit. You can do the decorating.”
“That would be nice,” I said. I pretended not to notice the way his thumb was making slow circles across the top of my hand.
He sighed. “These past few weeks have been eye-opening.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Before”—he swallowed—“with Hilary, all I felt was dread after she told me the truth. With you, I don’t feel that way. I just…I feel like this baby is mine. I feel like a dad.”
“And if it’s not yours?” I asked quietly. “What happens then?”
He looked over at me, a pained expression on his face. “No matter what happens, this baby is mine.”
“Adam—”
“No, I want you to listen to me. I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell to say this since that first appointment. Be quiet, so I can make sure I get it right.”
I grinned. “My bad. Please continue.”
“You scare the shit out of me. You always have. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew there was something different about you. I knew you’d change everything for me.” He looked away. “And I was right. I didn’t realize how much I cared about you until you told me you loved me. To hear you say that…well, it scared the hell out of me. I reacted badly. I know I did. I deserve a swift kick in the balls for what I said to you, but I only said what I did because I knew I loved you, too. I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t handle being broken again. If I gave you everything, I was afraid you’d toss it aside like it was nothing.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I felt tears spring to my eyes as I listened to him pour his heart and soul out to me.
“Then, I saw you out here with Chloe that night, and I just…I lost it. I could handle loving you if you weren’t around to hurt me, but I couldn’t stand the thought of having you near. So, I lashed out again. Then, I got drunk and acted like an even bigger dickhead. I’ve hurt you so much, Amber. I don’t know how you can stand to be around me.”
I sat up. “It’s because I love you. No matter how hard I tried to hate you, I couldn’t. You hurt me, and I kept going back for more. You broke me, Adam, but I didn’t care. Nothing you said or did could keep me from loving you.”
He shuddered, his whole body shaking with emotion. “I love you, too. I just don’t know what to do with that. I never have. I can’t stand the thought of losing you or this baby.”
I swallowed, choosing my next words carefully. “I don’t plan to go anywhere, Adam. I just don’t understand what you want from me. If you want me to love you, that’s already a done deal.”
“I want you to be mine. I want to give you everything and never have it turned against me.”
“Do you really think I’d do that to you?”
He shook his head. “Every fiber of my being tells me you won’t, but…I’m scared, Amber. I’m so fucking scared of what could happen.”
“No one knows what the future holds,” I said softly. “What I do know is that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted something in my life. The way I feel about you…I’ll never feel it with anyone else. You’re it for me, whether you realize it or not.”
He released my hand, only to raise his hand to cup my cheek. “And you’re not scared?”
I laughed. “I’m fucking terrified of you, Adam, but I’m willing to take a chance if you are.”
“Everything is happening so fast,” he said softly.
“It is. Adam…” I hesitated. “Are you telling me all of this because we’re having a child? Or is it because you really love me? I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me. I would never expect that from you.”
“I’m telling you because I love you. I’ve wasted so much time with you because I was a fucking coward.” He frowned. “This baby is more of a blessing than you could ever imagine. I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to tell you the truth if it hadn’t brought us together. I might have continued to act like a dick until you finally walked away. So, part of the reason is because of the baby, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. He studied me for a moment before grabbing me and pulling me onto his lap. His mouth sought mine in the sweetest kiss imaginable. I leaned against him, my fingers reaching up to his hand. I threaded them through, clinging to him for dear life. I never wanted to let him go. I never wanted this moment to end.
“I love you,” he said against my lips. “I love you so goddamn much that it hurts to breathe. I’ll take my chances on a broken heart because I love you that much.” He pulled me tighter against him. “You’re mine. You always have been.”
He rolled so that I was underneath him. I expected him to kiss me rougher, but he didn’t. He kept our kisses sweet, deepening them with each stroke of his tongue. His hands found the ties on my bikini bottom and undid them.
“Can we…I mean, will it hurt the baby? After she got pregnant, Hilary would never…” He pulled away and looked down at me.
As sappy as it was, tears came to my eyes when I saw the emotion swirling in his beautiful brown eyes. There was so much love and tenderness in them.
“We can,” was all I said.
He nodded before pulling my bottoms away and tossing them aside. He raised his body enough to pull his shorts over his hips. In one swift move, he entered me. I gasped in surprise, my fingers tugging at his hair. His strokes were gentle and slow, building a small flame inside me.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”
His restraint cracked, and he started thrusting harder and faster. I raised my hips to meet his every stroke as he kissed my lips, my nose, and my neck.
For the first time in my life, I wasn’t fucking. I was making love to the man I loved more than words could ever express. When my orgasm crashed over me, I called out his name. His body shuddered above me as he found his own release.
When we finished, he rolled away and pulled me tight against him. I rested my face on his chest, lost in the moment.
“You’re mine,” Adam said quietly.
I traced the tattoos on his chest. “And you’re mine.”
As we lay there, he started humming. I recognized the tune, but I couldn’t place it.
“What song is that?” I asked.
“‘Angel’ by Theory of a Deadman. Every time I hear it, I think of us. It’s our song, our anthem.”
I grinned, past memories flashing in front of my eyes. “I thought ‘Turn Me On’ by Royal Bliss was our song.”
He chuckled. “It was but not anymore.”
I snuggled closer to him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving just how much I love you. I’m never letting you walk away again.”
“I’m going to hol
d you to that.”
He kissed my forehead. “Please do.”
In that moment, the peace I felt was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Finally, I was home.
Eight Months Later
I screamed, every curse word I knew flying from my mouth. I’d never felt so much pain in my life. Dying would be easier than this.
My hand clutched Adam’s, squeezing the life out of it, but he never once complained. He only gave words of encouragement. I loved him for it, but I also wanted to punch him in the face just because.
“Come on, Amber. One more good push,” Dr. Dover said.
“I can’t!” I screamed.
“Yes, you can. It’s almost over. Just take a deep breath and push.”
“I hate all of you!” I shouted before taking a deep breath and pushing. “Fuck!”
“That’s it. Keep pushing,” Dr. Dover said. “Don’t stop.”
I kept pushing until I felt like my head was going to explode. Finally, I felt the pressure release.
A wailing cry broke out, and it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.
“Is the baby okay?” I asked.
“She’s fine,” Dr. Dover said.
“She?” I asked breathlessly.
Dr. Dover smiled at me. “Yes, she. You have a little girl.”
I looked at Adam. He was staring at me in shock.
I grinned at him, unable to stop myself. “A girl.”
He smirked. “I knew it would be a girl all along.”
A nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket and carried her over to me. She placed my daughter in my arms, and I instantly started crying as I stared down at her. She was the most beautiful little girl I’d ever seen. She opened her eyes and stared back at me.
“Hi, Gabriella,” I whispered.
Adam reached out and gently brushed her cheek. “She’s perfect.”
“She is.” I stared down at my brown-eyed, dark-haired baby. In that moment, I knew that she was Adam’s. There wasn’t a trace of Alex’s blue eyes or blond hair anywhere to be seen.
I looked up at Adam. “She’s yours.”
He smiled at me. “It wouldn’t have mattered if she weren’t, but there’s no doubt about it. She’s as pretty as her daddy.”
Tamed Page 22
