I’d gotten plenty of grants that he didn’t know about, simply because I was a foreign student, not to mention the part-time job I’d obtained. But when I got my citizenship, he could have died then… eight years ago.
I sat outside on a bench with my luggage as Umaru stood there with me. Neither of us had said a word. When Mama and Kevin walked outside, along with his and Umaru’s wives, I stood. Pulling my mama to me, I hugged her, then let her go and sat back on the bench.
No words were spoken for a few moments. Then she said, “I love you, Haji. I know your dad loved you, too.”
“He had a terrible way of showing that shit.”
“I know. And for that I’m sorry. A bayg padin.”
Glancing at her as my car arrived, I stood and grabbed my bags. After walking away and loading them in the trunk of the car, I turned back to my family, who were all just watching me. My last moment with all of them in Freetown, Sierra Leone, I said, “A de go.”
That meant goodbye. There was nothing further to say. Getting in the car, he drove away, taking me to the airport five hours early.
4
Chinara
Nobody was hiring. I was overqualified for fast food places, but the jobs I was qualified for weren’t hiring. I didn’t know what to do next. The rent was due next week, and I didn’t have the money. It had been a month since I’d gotten fired and the money I had saved had kept me afloat. But that was all gone now. The state had issued me food benefits and I had a little unemployment money coming in, but it wasn’t enough. My car was in my name, so I wanted to preserve my credit. I paid it and I only had enough money left to pay my phone bill and get gas.
I’d cried for nights on end because I just didn’t know what would happen. In less than a month, I could be homeless… living in my car, praying for a miracle. My hair was a mess underneath my head wrap, and if I could, I would just go back home… to Nigeria. It took everything out of me when I called home and had to pretend that everything was okay. My mother had so many health issues already, I knew the added stress of worrying about me would kill her.
Going to the refrigerator, I realized I was in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store. Huffing loudly, I knew I didn’t have much money left on the card. They only allowed me two hundred dollars a month. After buying four packs of meat and other food, that left me at the bottom of the barrel. Plus, I really didn’t know how to budget. I never had to do that in the grocery store. It was the end of the month and I wasn’t sure how much was left on the card. Getting dressed, I made my way downstairs and got in my car.
I had a few dollars in my bank account, but I would need that for gas. Calling the eight hundred number to get my balance, my heart sank when it said I only had fifteen dollars and eleven cents. That would have to last a week. I rested my head on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths. I would have to survive on the bare minimum. The problem was that I found myself eating a lot more, because I was home most of the day. Gathering my composure, I took off for the grocery store.
After calculating my cost to the tee, or so I thought, I headed to the cashier. I’d gotten a small roll of ground beef, noodles, and sauce to make spaghetti and a half-gallon of milk for the remaining cereal I had. It felt like I was sweating, trying to make sure I didn’t go over. That didn’t stop me from grabbing a pack of gum. Gum helped me control my eating. If I was chewing gum, I didn’t think about eating so much. Loading the conveyor belt, I was cool until I saw him. Haji.
Shit! I hoped he didn’t see me, but that was in vain because he was coming my way with a slight smile on his face. When he made it to me, the cashier had begun scanning my items. “Hey, pretty, black doll. Oh… a bayg padin… Hello, Chinara.”
I rolled my eyes, but said, “Hello.”
He put his shrimp, crabs, and other seafood items on the belt and my stomach growled. I wanted to crawl under the damn store when that happened. He chuckled and said, “I’m boiling all this today for me and a couple of friends. You ought to come by.”
“No, thank you.”
My face was so damn hot. Thankfully, I was pretty black because my face would have been red. “Your total is sixteen dollars and ten cents.”
I frowned, but quickly scanned my card, knowing that it wasn’t going to go through. I could see him watching me. The amusement on his face was now gone and he looked serious. He’d seen the card. Ugh. “Ma’am, you only have fifteen dollars and eleven cents.”
“Okay. Take off the gum,” I said softly.
“Use what she has available and I got the rest,” Haji said from behind me.
It was only a dollar, but I felt horrible about it. “I have a dollar. I can pay for it myself.”
“Quit being stubborn. It’s a dollar.”
I huffed and said, “Thank you.”
Grabbing my things, I was about to head out when he said, “Chinara.”
His voice commanded me to stop. It wasn’t the playful, flirty tone I’d heard before. The seriousness of it took control of me. After paying for his things, he made his way to me. “Take my number.”
“That’s what you stopped me for?”
“Listen. I saw the card you used. I’m just trying to help you. You gotta be in a bad spot if you can’t afford gum, Pretty Black.”
“No. I don’t need your help,” I said, then walked away.
I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. Letting a man help me, pretending to care about my well-being only to throw it in my face later was something I never wanted to experience again. Before I could get to my car, he grabbed my arm. “If you wanna suffer, go right ahead. I was offering to help out of the kindness of my heart and my genuine interest for you. Something told me when I saw you to go the opposite direction, and now, I know why.”
He let me go and walked to his Range Rover. I felt horrible, but I didn’t understand why. Haji was after something more than just helping me through a tough time. He was after my goodies. I could tell by the way his eyes caressed my body, making it heat up with desire… desire to feel his lips on every part of it. Shaking my head to rid myself of those illicit thoughts, I put my bags on the floor behind my driver’s seat and got in the car. Glancing back in his direction, I saw him crank up his vehicle and take off.
He seemed angry, but what did I care? My life was none of his business. Men were hard to trust. They always seemed to have a hidden agenda. I hadn’t had sex in nearly five years, and I was okay with that. I still had my self-respect, and that was what mattered most. Cheap thrills weren’t something I was interested in. They needed to move my mind first, then my heart. My body would open up to a man in ways it never had. I’d been in love a couple of times, but obviously, it was only to teach me a life lesson.
Loving the wrong man only led to heartbreak. Although the first time I was in love, I was just a teenager in Nigeria, it still taught me a valuable lesson and that was to pay attention to the flashing red lights… signs that said something was off. Kemweh had taken my heart and slapped that shit around like it was a hockey puck. I was so young and naïve, I believed all his lies and excuses for not being what I needed. He was rarely present when I needed him to be unless I was offering something worth his while. He took my virginity like it was nothing to hold in high regard. And for a year… almost two, I gave of myself, my love, my heart, and way too many of my thoughts.
When I got home and got inside, I flopped on the couch. That seafood looked so damn good. I should have taken him up on his offer, but I couldn’t imagine just going to his house. I didn’t know him and, for all I knew, he could have done something horrible to me there. Knowing I needed to cook before my stomach fought me, I turned on the TV only to be met with a message saying that they’d turned off the cable and how to pay the bill. There went that. I turned the TV off and began cooking, hoping that the food would last for a week.
As I browned the ground meat, my cell phone started to ring, so I ran to it. Anyone could be calling for a job interview. It was an unknown numb
er. “Hello?”
“Hello. May I speak to Chi-nara N-watchie-ku?”
I rolled my eyes slightly. “Hi. This is Chinara Why-choo´-koo,” I said, enunciating the syllables of my last name.
“My apologies. My name is Kyley and I’m calling from Verizon. I wanted to see if you were still interested in the sales associate position.”
“Yes, ma’am, I am.”
“Great! Can you come in tomorrow morning for an interview?”
“Sure! What time?”
“Is ten o’clock good?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Great. Just come to our location on Dowlen Rd.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
I ended the call and did a dance around the front room. I was so damn excited, I forgot about the ground meat. “Nooooo!!!!” I screamed.
Smoke was coming from the kitchen as I ran in there. I’d burned the ground meat. After getting the pot off the fire, I sat it in the sink and ran water on it. The tears sprang from my eyes. This meal was supposed to last for five days until I got my benefits. I had to resort to eating cereal and milk. I didn’t know what tomorrow was gonna bring, but I couldn’t focus on it. All I could worry about was today and I was good for now. I’d have to worry about tomorrow once it got here.
I sat on a bench in the lobby area, anxiously awaiting my turn to interview. There was another lady still inside. Bouncing my leg, I smoothed down my hair and decided to check my lipstick as I waited. I’d arrived ten minutes early, so someone had to open the door for me. This wouldn’t be my first time working in a place like this… I meant retail. I’d worked at Wal-Mart before, but I didn’t want to be stuck with working crazy hours.
The young lady finally emerged with a smile and she was quite chummy with the interviewer. That did absolutely nothing for my confidence. However, I took a deep breath as the young woman said, “Are you Chinara… umm…”
“Nwachuku?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“No problem.”
“Come on in.”
She was a young Black woman, with hair hanging down her back. She looked my age, maybe a couple of years younger. Offering me a seat, she asked, “So, where are you from?”
“I’m originally from Lagos, Nigeria, but I’ve been here for ten years.”
“Oh. What brought you here? School?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“If you don’t mind me saying so, honey… you’re in the wrong industry.”
I frowned slightly, not knowing where she was going with this. She looked over my resume for a moment, then said, “I was sure you’d been a model. You are gorgeous.”
I chuckled out of embarrassment, then said, “Thank you.”
I wished she would just hurry and get to the interview because I wanted to get back home before my stomach started to growl. Not eating breakfast was a mistake, but I was doing my best to preserve my food. She finally began asking questions about my degree and why I was wanting to work at Verizon. I did my best to make it seem like I wanted to work there. The truth was that I was desperate. I needed to work. I’d accept a job anywhere at this point.
Once she asked a few questions about my customer service experience, she smiled big and said, “It was so nice meeting you. I’m in awe of how genuine of a person you seem. Hopefully, I’ll be in touch soon.”
“Thank you. It was nice meeting you, too.”
Not really. She seemed kind of fake to me. My people radar usually steered me right. She led me out to the lobby, told me to have a great day, and went back to her office as I made my way to the door. When I got to it, a man holding a bag was walking out of it and held the door open for me. My body nearly melted to the pavement when I looked into Haji’s eyes. He only stared at me as he held the door. So I said, “Thank you, Haji.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly, then he said, “You’re welcome, Chinara.”
I quickly walked away, making my way to my car, only to realize we were parked side by side. When he got to his expensive vehicle, he got in, but then got back out. Making his way around his car, he came to mine. Putting my window down, I stared into his dark eyes. “Everything in me is telling me to move on, but I have to try one more time. Can I take you to lunch? There are quite a few restaurants right here in the area we could go to.”
Looking away for a moment, debating if I should answer him, I came to the conclusion that even if he took me to McDonald’s, that was better than cereal and milk. I licked my lips and said, “Sure.”
“Damn. For real?” he asked with a frown.
I smiled and he looked mesmerized. His gaze was serious, and it felt like he had the power to yank my soul from my body. “Yeah. For real. Lunch won’t hurt nobody.”
He leaned over against my car, then asked, “So, where do you wanna go? What do you like?”
I shrugged my shoulders slightly. I’d never really been to any of the restaurants because I didn’t want to go alone. “Chick-fil-A is good.”
He gave me a one-sided smile and said, “Man, just follow me.”
He acted like I offended him by suggesting Chick-fil-A. That was doing something for me. They were definitely more expensive than McDonald’s and Taco Bell. When he backed out, I followed him for a mile to Longhorn Steakhouse. My mouth watered at just the name of the restaurant. I hadn’t had a steak in months. However, I wouldn’t be inconsiderate and order pricey items from the menu. Then again, if he didn’t take me up on going to Chick-fil-A, then he was telling me to get what I wanted.
As I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and slid my phone inside, he’d opened my door. I smiled slightly and said, “Thanks.”
He nodded, then led me to the door, opening it as well. Haji was making a great impression so far. He seemed to be a gentleman and I liked that. Once we were seated, he stared for a moment. I was hoping he would say something because he was making me uneasy. “So, what made you say yes?”
“I’m in a good mood today.”
“What’s different about today?”
I looked away and said, “Nothing really. Just woke up in a great mood.”
“I guess I’ll let you make it with that answer,” he said, picking up his menu. “So where are you from?”
“Lagos, Nigeria. What part of Sierra Leone are you from?”
“Freetown.”
I nodded, then looked at the menu. “You came here for school, I assume. What was your major?”
“I majored in chemical engineering. I been done with school for eight almost nine years now.”
“Oh. I majored in communications. I’ve been here for ten years. Are you here permanently?”
“Yep. I’m a citizen.”
I nodded as the waitress came to take our drink orders. We continued our conversation, getting to know one another while we waited for her to come back with our drinks. We discussed our ages and our time here in Beaumont, Texas. We briefly talked about our families, but I seemed to do most of the talking concerning that. Then came the dreaded question. “What were you doing at Verizon?”
“I umm… I had an interview.”
He frowned slightly. “I thought you had a communications degree. Why you applying there?”
“No one is hiring. So, I had to leave my area of expertise if I wanted to find anything.”
“Oh.”
He didn’t push for more answers, and thankfully, the waitress came back to take our orders. He ordered the biggest damn steak on the menu, so I knew I was cool with ordering what I wanted. Once she walked away, he resumed our conversation. “So, how long have you been searching for a job?”
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled slowly. He made me feel so comfortable, but I didn’t feel as comfortable telling him this. But somehow, I managed to say, “I got laid off the same day you first tried to talk to me.”
“That was like… over a month ago,” he said with a slight frown.
“Yeah.”
“So why you so proud, Pretty Black Doll? Let me h
elp you.”
“I don’t know you. For all I know, you could think I owe you for this lunch.”
He frowned even harder. I noticed that he frowned a lot. Way more than he smiled. Maybe it was something about me that was making him frown. “Everybody ain’t out to sabotage or use you.”
After that, the rest of the lunch was quiet. I knew I’d really offended him now. But what was I supposed to think? He didn’t know me. Why was he being so nice? Wanting to get to know somebody and helping them financially were two totally different things. You didn’t offer financial help to strangers unless you were going to benefit from the situation somehow. When the waitress brought out our food, I was grateful. My stomach had been growling the entire time, and I just wanted this awkward-ass moment to be over.
5
Haji
Chinara was one proud-ass Nigerian. Sometimes, they were the most stubborn creatures on earth, afraid to admit that they needed help. I understood that she didn’t know me, but shit. Who turned down a trip to the grocery store? She was sitting there starving. I could hear her stomach growling from where I sat. That was the only reason she came to lunch with me. Once I heard that shit, I had to let my puffed-up chest deflate. I thought I’d finally gotten to her, but it was those damn missed-meal cramps that had her smiling and accepting the lunch date offer.
She didn’t eat all her food. Just because I came from a wealthy family, didn’t mean I didn’t know the tricks of the trade. Sierra Leone was one of the poorest countries on the continent. She was saving that shit for dinner. It wasn’t that she was full. She needed to assure that she’d have something to eat later. I felt sorry for her, but I could tell I was making her uncomfortable, so I chilled on the questions.
Marry Me Twice Page 3
