by Natalie Ann
“Is that why you split?” he asked, laughing.
She was following him down a path now, talking to his back. She wished she could see his face. “I’m sure that was part of it. There is always more than one thing to a breakup. Unless there is cheating, and that’s enough on its own.”
He stopped and turned. “Did he cheat on you?”
“No,” she said. “We just didn’t have a lot in common. Or not as much as I had hoped. He wanted things out of life I didn’t. I wanted things he wasn’t ready for or wanted no part of.”
He waited until she could walk next to him, side by side, when the trail widened, and she liked that. She liked that he was considerate enough to put them on the same level. Equals.
“Like what?” he asked.
“What did he want that I didn’t? Or what did I want that he didn’t?”
“You. I don’t give a shit about him other than he’s there and you’re here.”
She was glad of that, too. “I wanted this,” she said, holding her arms out wide. “This lifestyle. I like nature. I like things a little slower. Do I miss the city and all it has to offer? Absolutely. But not enough to ever go back permanently. That’s what vacations are for.”
“So you wanted to move and he didn’t? How long did you date?”
She wasn’t bothered Trevor was asking as many questions as he was. She actually liked that he was interested. “Almost two years. We were the same age. Jason,” she said, “his name was Jason.” And saying it didn’t cause any bad feelings either, which surprised her because that breakup gave her the courage to look at her life and recognize how unhappy she’d been for a long time. “No, he didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to leave what he enjoyed. He didn’t understand my reasoning for wanting to leave, either. Not to move as far away as I did.”
Jason didn’t believe her, either. Didn’t stand by her side. Didn’t even give her a chance to prove her fears existed. Said she was crazy and overreacting, and if she wasn’t so friendly and flirty all the time when they were out, then she wouldn’t be so worried about looking over her shoulder. She’d never considered herself much of a flirt, though. In her eyes, there was nothing wrong with being friendly.
Supporting him, giving into him so much—that she could handle—she could accept if only he’d loved her. If only he’d believed her.
He didn’t. So she was done.
“No relationship can survive if you aren’t understood,” he said, and in that moment, she knew. She just knew deep down she’d never have a connection with anyone else like she had with Trevor.
“It can’t,” she said. “And I’m glad I found it out when I did before I wasted even more time with him. Moving here has allowed me to be the person I want to be. The person I’m starting to like. If the man I end up with doesn’t understand that, he won’t last long in my life.”
He stopped and threaded their fingers together. “There’s a lot about you I don’t understand, because I just don’t know enough to figure it out. But what I do know, I understand. If there is one thing I’ve figured out, it’s that behind your complexity is a very caring person. A good person. And in my eyes, good people always have a reason for what they do or what they want, and they should be respected for that.”
She pulled him into her arms on the trail and hugged him tight. “Thank you for that. For just getting the small part of me you know right now.”
“I get you. I get you more than might be healthy for my peace of mind.”
She leaned back and looked into his eyes. She saw the humor in them, but also something deep. Something soul touching. “I can say the same.”
Makes You Happy
Whatever thoughts he had about what Riley might be hiding weren’t anything to be seriously concerned about now.
Kennedy was probably right—he was looking for something that wasn’t there. That wasn’t important enough to be on his radar of fear.
It seemed to him that most of Riley’s issues or problems stemmed from relationship woes. Hell, didn’t everyone’s? Didn’t some of his? Maybe? Possibly? Yeah, they did.
For the moment, he felt an odd sense of sharing. That he should say more than he had before to anyone else. To give her something about himself without her asking, because if he learned one thing, it was that she wouldn’t ask, but she would wonder. If she was wondering, he wanted to be able to ease her mind a touch.
“You aren’t the only one who has trouble finding someone who understands you,” he said. He wasn’t sure he was ready to say much more just now.
She looked at him for the moment. Really looked at him, making him wonder what thoughts were being processed. “I’m sure. You’re a pretty complex person yourself, regardless of me saying you’re laid back. If I was to take a guess, I’d say you force that issue.”
“Meaning?” he asked.
“That you want people to see you that way so they don’t look at you another way. So they don’t remember you were in the service…or maybe what you may—or may not—have done there.”
He held her stare. Again, there was nothing judgmental in it, nothing wary, and every bit of acceptance he’d long since given up trying to find.
“Maybe. But I have always been laid back. Even as a kid. You can ask anyone. Ask Kennedy when you see her again.”
“I will, next week when we have lunch.”
He turned his head sharply. “What?”
“Kennedy asked me to have lunch with her next week. I couldn’t say no and have her think I was afraid.”
“I’m going to wring her neck.” Now he knew why Kennedy didn’t give Riley a hard time. They were going to talk one on one outside of work. “Don’t let her run over you.”
“Really, Trevor. Do you think I’m someone that gets run over often in life?”
“No. I think you’re someone that does things so you don’t hurt others’ feelings even when you say you don’t. I think that you like me enough that you don’t want to tick my sister off, so you agreed to lunch when maybe you didn’t really want to.”
She laughed at him and he was trying not to get insulted, but it was true humor on her face. “First off. Yes, I like you a lot. No, I don’t want to get on your family’s bad side, but it wouldn’t be the first time I was on someone’s bad side. And last, I didn’t agree in order to find out stuff about you, though I hope it’s a nice side benefit to find out a few tiny secrets. I really just want to meet people my own age.”
“Kennedy won’t tell you any secrets other than things that will embarrass me.”
“Exactly the stuff I want to know.” She laughed at him again when he frowned. “Seriously, Trevor. She asked me casually and then seemed surprised when I said yes. I would really like to get to know her, too. I’m new here and it’d be nice to have a friend, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I can find an excuse to cancel and then not reschedule.”
It shouldn’t make him uncomfortable, but it did. He wouldn’t tell her no, though. Part of him was actually happy she was getting to know his family; the other part thrilled was her getting to know people in the community.
“No, don’t do that. Do what you want and what makes you happy.”
“Really?” she asked. “What do you want, though?”
“What would make me happy is to see you happy. To see you doing what you want and fitting in here. Making sure you stay.”
“That’s sweet on a lot of levels. One, that you want me happy. Two, that you want me to fit in. Three, that you want me to stay, but I’m going to do that regardless. I’ve got way too much invested to be able to leave now. But you know what would make me extremely happy?”
“No, what?” he asked, hypnotized by the look in her eyes. Humor, arousal, and a touch of something he couldn’t put his finger on.
“Finding a big diamond while mining over there behind the trail. What do you think my chances are of that?” she asked. He hoped he didn’t pale when she said “diamond,” but he was guessing he did when she said
, “You should see your face right now. I want a big rock to put in a necklace, Trevor. I don’t need a ring on my finger.”
Was he wrong about her? Was she not the settling-down type either? It felt like every time he found someone and thought it was the last time, his last chance, he was wrong again. Guess she wasn’t the only one having a problem reading people.
“You don’t want to get married?” he asked.
“Of course I do. I want kids, lots and lots of kids.”
Now he knew he paled. “How many is lots and lots?”
“Oh, eight or so. I’d like my own Brady Bunch.” She burst out laughing, even bent over. “I’m kidding, Trevor. Wow. Okay. I thought you had a better sense of humor. Maybe it’s too early for that kind of teasing. I’ll be serious.”
“Please do.”
“Yes, I’d like to get married someday. I’d like a family of my own. I do want kids and I’m open on the number, but no more than three. I have a demanding job, for the most part, and though I’m the boss and can hire more people to work, I still love what I do. I don’t want to stretch myself so thin where I have to choose between family and work, because family will always come first. But work is what I love.”
“You can’t love both? Family and work?”
“Since I said family would always come first, I figured that was answer enough. But I’m greedy and want both. I want a job that fulfills my days, but I want a man to fulfill my nights and weekends. With that man, I want a family. I know there is someone out there, and I’ll find him.”
“Guess it depends on how hard you’re searching,” he said.
“Right now, my search is being halted.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Oh, I think you know, but there is no reason to make you pale again.”
She walked away from him, his heart beating in excitement rather than fear.
***
“Sorry you didn’t get your diamond,” Trevor said. They were back at her place now, relaxing on the couch.
“I didn’t really expect to find one. I did kind of hope for some colored stone though, rather than the piece of coal I got. I guess my father was right; I should have been left coal a long time ago in my stocking.”
“I thought all women liked the color black.”
“For clothing, not jewelry,” she said, snorting. “Why didn’t you get the black one? Instead you got that pretty purple stone.”
“It’s probably not worth any more than a cup of coffee,” he said. “It’s all cloudy and blotchy.”
“But it’s not black,” she said, placing her legs over his lap. He liked how she always did that. How whenever they were relaxing, she not only wanted to be next to him, but touching him also.
“No more talk about worthless stones. Let’s talk about food. I’m starving. What are our choices tonight?”
“Well, I can see what is in my freezer and cook us something, or you can tell me where we can order something other than the one pizza joint I’ve been to a few times.”
“Not too many places for takeout here. Lots of places to go out and eat, if you want to.”
“Nah. I’m too lazy to change and go out. I don’t even want to get up from the couch to go cook something, but I don’t want you to starve either.”
“I won’t starve. I can cook something tonight, if you want.”
“You told me you don’t turn your oven on, so no thank you,” she said, poking his belly with her finger.
“I can heat up some noodles and put butter on them.”
“Ew, that’s not dinner,” she said, cringing.
“Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” he suggested.
“Not much better.”
He grabbed her sides and she jumped, then giggled. “How about an omelet?”
“I’d rather you make me one tomorrow morning.”
“I can do that. But that doesn’t solve the problem for dinner.” When he grabbed her sides again and she shifted out of his reach, he asked, “Are you ticklish?”
“No,” she lied as he squeezed her again and she started to squirm, then giggle.
There was no way he was letting her up now. Not when he had her wiggling on his lap the way she was. “I’ll ask you again, are you ticklish?”
“Why ask a question you know the answer to?” She squealed and kicked out fast, almost catching him in a place he’d rather her foot not land. “Stop it, Trevor.” There were tears in her eyes right now as she laughed. “I can’t breathe.”
He’d never seen someone laugh so hard they were crying. It was pretty funny, so he showed no mercy for the moment. That is until she reached down and cupped him swiftly and squeezed. “Whoa.”
“Are you ticklish?” she asked him back.
“Not there,” he said as she squeezed some more. No pain yet, but he was filling her hand much faster.
“The way I see it, you’ve got two choices right now. Keep trying to tickle me and lose the use of this for a bit. And that would be a real bummer.”
“Why’s that?” he asked.
“Because option two is show what you can do with it. Which is really my option of choice right now.”
“I want you to get your way,” he said, leaning over her, his lips brushing hers. His hands stopped squeezing her sides but traveled up her ribs then under her bra.
“Good to know,” she said back, arching into him. He scooted over and went to stand, but she stopped him. “Where are you going?”
“Upstairs.”
“Why? There’s nothing wrong with this couch right here.”
He liked her thinking. “It is kind of nice and big. Soft, even.”
“Want to see who can undress quicker?” she asked.
“Does it need to be a race?”
“No, but sometimes that’s what makes it so fun. Don’t tell me you’re the type of guy that has to do it the same every time.”
“Okay, now you’re just trying to push my buttons.”
“Do you get a little rougher when your buttons are pushed?” she asked, angling her head.
“I guess I need to know what kind of rough you’re talking about,” he said.
He wasn’t about to tie anyone up or throw them around. He knew there were a lot of women that liked that type of thing, along with men, but he wasn’t one of them. He’d never put himself in any situation where it could come back on him. Come back on his career.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She ran her hand along his jaw. He didn’t bother to shave this morning and there was even more growth there today. “I always wondered what whisker burns felt like.”
He could handle that. Gladly! “All you needed to do was ask.”
“Then I’m asking you now. How much can you make me burn? How much can you burn me?”
“Why don’t we put it to the test?”
He stood up and started to undress, and she did the same. She sat on the couch before he had a chance to place her there, so he went down on his knees and grabbed her pretty little toes in his hands and pushed her legs apart.
“Whisker burns are no fun if they’re only designated to one area.”
Her head fell back when he started to run his tongue up her calf, then her knee, inside her inner thigh, stopping at his target and getting a taste. “We want you to have as much fun as possible then, don’t we?”
“We do. Stop talking now, Trevor.”
She told him to, so he did. He didn’t have much more to say at that point, anyway. Instead he went to work. Up and down her legs and thighs, rubbing his cheeks and his chin, using his tongue, nibbling and licking, scratching and sucking. Doing all sorts of things, making her squirm and then making her come.
She wouldn’t sit still, she never did. She always had to be moving and it was difficult for him to focus when she did that. But once her body stopped shaking, he reached in his shorts and grabbed a condom, pulled her up and sat on the couch himself, then put her on his lap. “Time for the front.”
“Huh?” she asked,
her eyes all glazed over. Oh yeah, he put that look on her face.
“Time for your front to get some burns.”
“Oh,” she said, grabbing his head and pulling him forward. “Go right at it.”
He’d give her burns, but it was her turn to control the pace.
He put the condom in her hand. “Put it on and climb aboard. You place my head where you want, and you ride me. You take me where you’re feeling. You let me know what you want and where you want it.”
She didn’t hesitate to do what he asked, lifting herself up and settling in place. The groan that escaped could have been hers, or it could have been his. It didn’t matter since they were both feeling the same.
He’d never had someone give herself over as freely as she did. He wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted anyone to before.
There was something life changing in that moment. Knowing he could do what he wanted and she’d be okay with it. That she could do whatever she wanted with him right now, too.
That she trusted him to not do anything to hurt her, not do anything that crossed the line, not do anything she didn’t want.
It was a connection unlike he’d ever experienced before, and he knew without a doubt, he’d never experience it with anyone else ever again.
What She Hoped For
Whisker burns were such a fabulous thing. How could she have gone so long without feeling the full extent of them?
When Trevor told her to give him a ride, she didn’t really fully comprehend what he was saying. After a moment—after she started to move—she got it.
She wasn’t focused on him at all. Maybe it was selfish on her part, maybe not. But she was centering on her own feelings. Her own emotions and her own actions. And those feelings, emotions, and actions fuzzed out the rest of the world and let her focus on everything building within her.
