Relieved that she’d let it drop, he returned her smile. “It’s summer. It’ll probably be better cold.”
Her eyes were overly bright orbs in a too-white face. “I don’t want to be alone right now,” she whispered.
“Then you won’t be.” He led her to a chair and seated her. His hand itched to stroke her hair but he picked up his cup of cocoa instead. “Why don’t you tell me what life was like for you in Ireland.”
He watched her as she talked and tried very hard not to think about that kiss.
And that one very unsettling thought.
* * *
Thirty minutes later, Nora yawned widely, then gave Cam a sheepish grin.
His answering smile had a teasing quality to it that warmed her to her toes. “Looks like someone might finally be ready for a bit of sleep.”
“I’ve been sitting here talking your ear off and keeping you up half the night.” She pushed her chair back from the table.
He stood, as well. “You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to.” Then he gave her a probing look. “Are you going to be okay?”
She nodded and made an effort to smile. “I might actually be able to get a little sleep before the sun comes up.” Though she doubted it. But it wasn’t fair of her to keep him awake longer than she already had. She lightly touched his shoulder. “I appreciate you keeping me company.”
As she moved toward the stairs, Nora realized how inadequate that thank-you had been, but she had been too much of a coward to say more. The way he’d held her tonight, keeping her together when she’d felt that she would shatter into a million pieces, had touched her on a level she didn’t even fully understand right now. As for that kiss, that had touched her in an entirely different way. For one blissful moment she had felt cherished and loved and had been filled with certainty that this man holding her would slay all her dragons for her. Then he’d apparently come to his senses and disengaged.
She knew he’d merely been trying to comfort her. But somehow, it had felt like more. Or maybe, she thought as she trudged up the stairs, that was just wishful thinking.
Perhaps she’d turned into what she feared most. Someone doomed to experience an unrequited love.
* * *
Nora was downstairs before dawn the next morning. She’d gotten very little sleep, and when she awakened from her third doze she’d decided it was useless to keep trying. When her mind wasn’t dwelling on the way that sweet kiss had made her feel, it was going over all the terrifying possibilities of what might be happening to Grace. Even if the kidnapper meant Grace no harm, would she know how to feed a baby or even have access to milk? Did she have clean nappies? Would she be gentle and sing her lullabies?
As early as she had risen, Cam was up before her. She found him pulling on his boots as she entered the kitchen.
He gave her a probing look. “Good morning.”
She nodded, willing the heat to stay out of her cheeks. “James must still be in bed—the stove is cold. As soon as I get the fire going I’ll fix you some coffee.”
“No need. I’m headed out right away.”
She wanted to protest—no doubt he needed some nourishment. But her desire to have him find Grace stopped her. “At least take some of this bread left over from supper.”
He stood and accepted the bread, eyeing her as if trying to read her mood. Good luck to him on that—she wasn’t sure of it herself.
“I feel so useless,” she said as she paced the room. “I should be out looking for her myself.”
Cam shook his head. “Like I said before, you need to be here in case the kidnapper brings Grace back. And there is something you can do to help.”
“What?” Anything to keep her hands busy, to feel she was doing her part.
“We’ll use this as a check-in point for the search teams. If you can keep a full pot of coffee and something to eat for when they report in, that’ll be a big help. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy—just filling.”
She’d hoped it would be something more directly related to the search, but she nodded. “Of course.” Cooking was something she could do, something to keep her occupied.
Cam placed a hand on each shoulder, stopping her from pacing. “You have to keep strong, not give up. We will find her.”
Unable to say anything, Nora merely nodded.
“You have to keep strong,” he said again, “for all of us.” Then he gave her shoulders a light squeeze. “For me,” he whispered.
The way he was looking at her stirred something inside Nora, caught the breath in her throat, pushed the rest of the world away. For one long moment she thought he might kiss her again.
Then the sound of activity outside broke the spell and turned both their heads. Without a word, Nora all but ran to the front door, only vaguely aware that Cam followed. Could it be—
In the shadowy morning light, she spotted Gavin riding in on Fletch. Trying not to let her disappointment show, she waved to the young deputy. “Come on back to the kitchen when you get the horse tethered. I’ll have some breakfast ready in just a bit.”
“Thanks. That sounds real good.” Gavin dismounted and wrapped the reins around a fencepost, then moved toward the cottage. “That is, if there’s time before we set out.”
“You won’t be part of the search party,” Cam said firmly. “I need you to stay here with Nora and the Coulters.”
Gavin stopped in front of Cam, a mutinous expression on his face. “But, I want to help look for Grace.”
“I know you do, and I appreciate that, but you’re needed here.”
“Needed for what?” There was something suspiciously like a pout coloring Gavin’s tone and expression.
“There’s always the chance that the kidnapper will return, either to bring Grace back or do further mischief. We need someone here who can keep watch for anything that looks suspicious.”
Cam’s jaw tightened. “I need to know that you are here so I can fully concentrate on the search.”
Nora felt her heart flutter slightly at that. Did Cam really believe what he’d said or was he just trying to placate Gavin?
Whatever the case, Gavin seemed somewhat mollified. “I suppose I can do that.”
“Good, because I’ll be counting on you.”
* * *
Nora had all but forgotten it was Sunday. Wanting to stay close to home in case something turned up, she, Gavin and the Coulters decided to hold a small prayer service of their own, led by James. He selected Romans 8 to read from, a chapter that brought her great comfort, and then he spoke with simple but surprising eloquence on what the passage meant to him.
Afterward they sang several hymns and Nora was surprised by the purity of Gavin’s voice. One of the hymns, “The Solid Rock,” spoke to her in a way it never had before.
Dear Jesus, she prayed silently, I know I tend to try to control everything myself rather than leaning on You for help. Please help me to remember, especially when I go through trials, that You indeed are my hope and my rock. That whatever shall come to pass, You are always in control and that You will never put me through any trials that I cannot bear.
* * *
Later, as Nora was preparing lunch, Gavin pulled up a chair at the table to keep her company. He plucked an apple from a bowl on the table and polished it against his sleeve. “I can’t believe I ever wanted to get to know that girl better,” he said. “I wish now she’d never come to Faith Glen.”
Nora had no trouble agreeing with that sentiment. But that kind of thinking wouldn’t help anything. “Well, she did and there’s nothing we can do to change that.”
“Even so, I sure hope when we catch her that the sheriff throws her in jail and never lets her out.”
At least he said “when” and not “if.” But she couldn’t let his comment go unchallenged. “That’s not a very charitable thing to say.”
“Surely you can’t tell me you’re feeling kindly toward that sneaky little thief after what she did.”
“Kindly” wasn’t what she was feeling at all. But Nora chose her words carefully. “I will admit that I would find it hard to give her a hug. But I’ve been keeping her in my prayers. Not because I’m particularly charitable. But because she has Grace and I cling to the hope that she is a good person at heart and that she is being kind and loving toward my baby.” Please, God, let that be the case.
Gavin didn’t say anything for a few minutes and she saw him think things over as he bit into the apple. Finally he nodded. “I suppose that makes sense. Maybe I ought to say a few prayers for her myself.”
She gave him an approving smile. “That would be very nice.”
The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever. Ben and a few other men came by at noon to report on their progress and to grab a quick bite to eat before heading back out. Gavin tried, with little success, to pretend he didn’t mind being left behind again.
Throughout the afternoon, ladies from the town came by with offerings of food and kind words. Esther Black was among the first to arrive and she stayed until just before dusk. She’d brought her knitting with her and calmly sat in the kitchen keeping Nora and Agnes company, chatting over inconsequential matters, and letting the conversation ebb and flow comfortably.
Nora was both grateful and surprised by the woman’s gentle strength. And when Ben came by to take her home, Nora had no doubt Esther and Ben would do quite well together.
And through it all, she kept an eye out, hoping to see Cam return with her baby in his arms at any minute.
* * *
Cam’s shoulders sagged with defeat as he trudged up to Nora’s front door. He tried to steel himself for the disappointment he would see in her eyes as he returned empty-handed yet again, but still, when he saw it, it hit him like a physical blow. He would actually prefer to have her pound angrily against his chest as she had yesterday.
She gave him a tremulous smile, then waved toward the back of the house. “Come into the kitchen and I’ll fix you something to eat.” She led the way. “Esther brought a ham and Mrs. Donnelly brought by some shepherd’s pie. You can have your pick. Or both if you like.”
Cam heard the strain in her voice. She was very close to breaking down. “I think perhaps we should go ahead and send word to your sisters in the morning.”
She turned and her gaze flew to his.
He recognized the question and the fear she was trying to hold at bay and he touched her arm reassuringly. “No, I’m not giving up, not by a long shot.” He’d keep searching for that little girl until she was found, no matter how long it took. “But I think you need to have your sisters here with you. And I think they deserve to know what’s going on.”
“But—”
He didn’t let her finish her protest. “Nora, honey, I know you’re a strong, proud, independent woman. But if this was happening to one of your sisters, if it was one of their children who was taken, wouldn’t you want to know about it, to be there for them?”
“Yes, of course I would.”
“Then don’t you think they deserve the same consideration from you?”
“I… Yes, I suppose you’re right.”
He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Good. I’ll have Gavin send someone to Boston with a message at first light. Who knows, Flynn may even have a way to get word to Will and Bridget.”
She nodded, looking at him with such trust and heartache that it was all he could do to not take her in his arms right then and there.
To comfort her of course. But he’d already strayed too far across that line.
He took a deep breath. “Now, I’ll join you in the kitchen in a minute. I just need to have a word with Gavin before he heads back to town.”
A few minutes later Gavin was dispatched with instructions to get word to her sisters and Cam took a seat at the kitchen table.
Nora set a plate in front of him then stepped back and clasped her hands together. “I want to apologize again for the way I attacked you last night.”
“I told you, there’s no need for that.” Especially since he was still burdened by his own guilt.
“Yes there is.” She took a deep breath. “Knowing what I do about your upbringing, I realize it must have brought back painful memories for you.”
His gaze sharpened and he went very still.
Chapter Fourteen
Cam couldn’t believe that now, in the middle of this nightmare, his past was rearing its ugly head. “My upbringing?” he said softly.
“Ben told me about your father.”
Cam swallowed an oath. “Ben should mind his own business.”
“Please don’t be angry with him.” She took a chair across from him. “He cares about you.”
He could do with a little less of that kind of caring.
She leaned forward, putting her still-clasped hands on top of the table. “I won’t even try to say I understand what you went through.”
The last thing he wanted from her was pity for the poor mistreated boy he’d been. He wasn’t that boy anymore, hadn’t been for quite some time.
“What I do understand, and thank the Almighty for, is that you are a much more honorable man than your father was.”
He jabbed his fork into his shepherd’s pie with a bit more force than necessary, wishing she would drop this whole line of talk. “You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do.”
“I know with every fiber of my being that you would never, ever strike a child or a woman. Or anyone else for that matter, unless it was in defense of someone.”
Her championing of him would be flattering if it wasn’t so misguided. “There are other ways of hurting folks besides hitting them.”
Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
He had to shut this off—now. Time to be blunt. “Let’s just talk about something else.”
She leaned back, her posture stiffening and her lips pinching together. “Very well,” she said primly. “What would you like to talk about?”
This was ridiculous. His tired mind couldn’t think of anything but the kidnapping. Then he figured if Ben could discuss his personal life, then he could talk about Ben’s. “How about your suspicion that something might be brewing between Ben and Esther?”
That brought a gleam back to her eyes. “Oh? Has Ben said something?”
“Not specifically. But ever since you mentioned the possibility, I’ve noticed my deputy has been spending a lot of time in her company. And he’s been keeping an eye on things over at the Blacks’ house while Will and the rest of the family are out of town.”
“Oh, it would be such a wonderful match. They’re both such good people. They deserve to have a bit of romance at this point in their lives.” She sighed. “Everyone does.”
She started then, as if embarrassed by what she’d said. Pushing her chair away from the table, she stood. “Let me get you some dessert. I made buttermilk pie today.”
Cam watched her cross the room, wondering if she included him in that “everyone.”
And why did that matter to him so much?
* * *
Nora lay on her bed trying to wait for the darkness to fade into the gray of near-dawn. The cradle lay next to her bed, haunting her with its emptiness. She missed Grace so much it was like a physical ache. She could almost hear the echo of Grace’s cries. Would she ever hear that sound for real again?
Father, You are the Great Comforter, the Almighty One. You have Your eye on even the tiniest sparrow, and it’s not possible for anyone to hide from You. So I know You’re watching over Grace, wherever she is. You know how much I want to have her back with me, but if that’s not in Your will, please, please keep her safe and happy.
Nora uttered her amen aloud, then glanced at the window again. Had the sky lightened just the slightest bit? She had no doubt Maeve would come as soon as she got word, and it would be good to have one of her sisters here with her. They’d always looked out for each other and drew strength from each other.
Cam was put
ting on a strong front when he was with her, but she could tell he was taking this every bit as hard as she was. Whether he would admit it or not, he cared a great deal for her little girl.
That faint mewling sound wafted in through the window again, and this time she sat bolt upright in her bed. That hadn’t been her imagination—it had been a real cry. It might just be a stray cat but she had to be sure.
Trying not to get her hopes up too high, Nora climbed out of bed and slipped on a robe as she headed down the stairs. The house itself was eerily quiet, as if holding its breath. The parlor and Coulters’ bedroom were both at the front of the house and the sound had come from the back, so perhaps no one else had heard it.
She didn’t attempt to light a lamp—her eyes were accustomed to the dark. And she knew she had to be very quiet so as not to frighten away whatever, or whoever, it was.
God, if You’ll give my baby back to me I won’t even try to catch the kidnapper. I won’t look for vengeance, just joy. I’ll leave it to You to deal with her in Your own way, Your own time.
When Nora reached the foot of the stairs, she started toward the kitchen.
But the nape of her neck prickled as she sensed a presence behind her. Whirling around, her heart in her throat, she put a hand to her lips to stifle a scream a heartbeat before she recognized the shadowy figure as Cam. A question formed on his lips and she quickly transferred her fingers to his mouth, indicating he should be quiet.
He nodded, then, when she moved her fingers, “Why are you up?” His words were a mere whisper of sound.
“I heard something outside. I wanted to investigate.”
She could sense his whole being come to full alert. He nodded, then quickly stepped in front of her, indicating she should wait.
Nora didn’t argue, but there was no way she planned to obey that command.
He moved with surprising speed and stealth to the back door.
There was another fussing sound and this time she could tell Cam heard it, too.
He was out the door in a flash, and Nora was right behind him. Luckily the sky was clear and the first fingers of dawn were lightening the horizon so she could make out shapes. The girl, bent over a basket lying at the edge of the garden, was taken by surprise at their sudden appearance. She spun around and took off at a run.
A Baby Between Them Page 13
