Nora felt a lump form in her throat and tamped it down as best she could. “Well, now, time for that fresh air.”
Mollie looked up, her eyes wide and staring as if her lifeline was being taken away.
Nora managed to smile. “Don’t worry. Agnes is here to help you if you have questions. She actually has much more experience with babies than I do.” Then with a wave, Nora headed quickly out the door.
She’d barely stepped off the porch before she heard someone step out of the house behind her. It was Cam, of course—she didn’t even have to turn around to be certain of that. She didn’t stop but in a moment he was beside her, matching his steps to hers.
“You’re not worried Mollie will run away?” she asked. Better to keep the conversation on neutral ground.
“Agnes and James will keep an eye on her for me.”
She stumbled over a bit of uneven ground, and he grabbed her elbow to steady her. Then, instead of letting go, he tucked her hand on his arm. She thought about pulling away but decided it felt good there.
“That was a very kind thing to do,” he said quietly.
She shrugged. “It’s just a feeding.”
“We both know it was more than that.”
Sometimes she wished he didn’t know her quite so well. “It’s why I brought her here.” But she hadn’t planned to start so soon.
“I know.”
Neither said anything else for a while, and soon they were strolling along the beach. Nora tried to lose herself in the muted slap-lapping sound of the waves and the crunching sand beneath their feet, in the brisk scent of salt water and sea spray, in the awe-inspiring sight of an ocean that seemed to go on forever.
Finally the panic within her subsided.
She slowed her pace and found a grassy dune above the beach to sit on. She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared out at the water. “I’m not giving Grace up, you know. Not yet.”
“I know.”
“Mollie has to prove herself worthy and able first.”
“I know.”
“And maybe not even then. I mean, Mollie and I could both raise her, together.” She laid her head on her knees and turned her neck to finally look at him. “Couldn’t we?”
His smile was achingly gentle. “You could. Absolutely.”
It wasn’t until he touched a finger to her cheek and pulled it away damp that she realized she was crying.
* * *
Cam pulled Nora to him and placed her head on his chest. He’d give his right arm to be able to take the hurt from her, but he was helpless to do so.
“This is silly,” she said with a slight catch in her voice. “It’s only one feeding.”
Cam made a noncommittal sound, not wanting to lie. Because he could see the writing on the wall. It was happening just as he feared it would. Nora was too honorable a woman to separate a mother from her child, even if she had to shred her own heart in the process. How she would be able to bear this he couldn’t fathom. Because she loved that little girl as deeply and sacrificially as if she were her own flesh.
Nora finally lifted her head away from him, but remained in the circle of his left arm. His chest mourned the loss of her warmth, but his arm rejoiced in the sweet weight it supported.
He looked down and saw that her tears had stopped. But he knew the hurt hadn’t.
She met his gaze and smiled softly. “You love Grace, too, don’t you?”
“She is lovable,” he answered lightly.
Her nose wrinkled in irritation. “Be serious, Cam. I saw the way her kidnapping ate at you and I see the way you look at her sometimes, like you can’t help yourself. You love that little girl. Admit it.”
Why was this so important to her? “All right, yes, I care a lot about her.”
“Yet you won’t let yourself get any closer to her.”
“I have my reasons. Personal, private reasons.”
“But this is so wrong, in so many ways. You’d make such a wonderful father, Cam. Don’t you want children of your own someday?”
He pulled his arm back, grabbed a rock from the ground beside him and flung it as far as he could. “Yes! Is that what you want to hear? Yes I want to have children of my own, to have a family of my own. There are times when I see other fathers with their families and know I would give just about anything to be them for just a day.” He stopped just short of saying I want to have a family with you. “But I know better than to pine after something I can’t have.”
She touched his arm, sending shock waves clear through to his gut.
“If this is about your father,” she said, “then you have to see how blind you’re being. You are not like him. You will never be like him. You are an honorable man.”
She was pushing again, making him think about things he’d rather forget. “It’s not about my father. At least not entirely.”
“Then what is it?”
Cam stood and brushed off his pants. “Let this be, Nora. You can’t fix everyone and everything. Some wrongs can never be righted.”
He held out his hand to help her up and she took it. But to his surprise, when they were face to face, her eyes were filled with sorrow. “I’m disappointed in you, Cam. I thought you were a man who was fair and honest.”
“I am.”
“No, you aren’t. You encouraged me to share my stories with you, how my mother and my da died, how we were run out of the only home we knew with no place else to go—or so we thought—and of the difficult decisions we faced. And in talking to you, I learned to see God’s hand in everything that came to pass. You winnowed out of me my dreams of independence and you are helping me find a way to realize them. And you helped me see that it’s naught but sinful pride to refuse help when it comes from a loving, generous spirit.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed by her recitation of the many things he’d done for her. “I was just trying to—”
Her eyes blazed back at him. “I know what you were trying to do. You were trying to help me without making me feel beholden to you. Because you’re a good man, a good friend.”
Did she think of him as only a friend?
“But if you are truly such a good man,” she continued, “then you need to learn to take help and godly counsel as well as give it. If you don’t trust me enough to share your worries, then talk to Ben or the preacher or Will.” She spun on her heels and headed back toward the cottage.
As he followed in the gathering dusk, Cam let her words roll around in his mind, testing them for soundness. Could she be right?
Then the image of Vera McCauley’s grief-twisted face screaming up at him blotted out everything else and Cam shuddered. Never again. The only way to prevent a repeat of the tragedy was to go on as he had before.
He stared at Nora walking away from him and ached for what might have been.
Then his lips twisted in a self-mocking smile. Whatever else had happened out here this evening, he’d succeeded in making her forget her own pain, if just for the moment.
Chapter Twenty-One
For Nora, the next three weeks passed both quickly and slowly at the same time. It felt almost as if her whole world were changing yet again and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it. She wasn’t even sure if she should stop it.
The closeness that had developed between herself and Cameron was gone, replaced by the kind of casual friendship one had for a likable acquaintance. They talked every day, ate most of their meals together and he continued to drive her home every evening. And as for those evenings, there was no “taking turns” to stand guard over Mollie. Cam seemed to be a permanent resident of the new room at the cottage.
But there was no casual chatting in the doorway of the kitchen, no accidental brushing of hands and no repeat of that walk on the beach together. And the more time that passed, the less likely it seemed that they would be able to go back to what they’d had before.
Nora felt bereft, as if she’d lost something very special. Had th
is been her fault? Should she not have pushed him so hard? How could she help him if he wouldn’t let her get close anymore?
But romance was definitely in the air for one of the lawmen. Ben finally proposed to Esther and the two declared their intention to get married in a few short weeks. Ben turned in his resignation at the same time, announcing that he and Esther planned to do some traveling after they got married.
Nora was tickled pink for them. She could see the joy in both of their faces and was happy that two such giving, generous people had found each other in this autumn of their lives. God’s timing was truly perfect.
Gavin, too, was pleased by the announcement, but Nora knew it was for entirely different reasons. He was pleased, of course, that his friend had found happiness. But with Ben’s retirement, Gavin was no longer just a deputy in training but was now Cam’s right-hand man. And it also meant he would be able to move into Ben’s place once Ben and Esther tied the knot. He seemed understandably thrilled that he’d soon be able to give up sleeping in a jail cell.
On the other hand, Nora’s bakery business continued to grow beyond anything she had imagined. Now that Mollie was handling most of the cleaning Cam had hired her for, Nora had more time for baking, and the townsfolk were buying everything she could produce. She had learned to make miniature pies, and those, as well as her cookies, were big hits with the workers over at the chocolate mill. Her current goal was to save enough money to buy a second stove.
Things with Mollie were going very well, also. The girl was proving herself to be as good as her word. She tackled every job assigned to her and did it conscientiously. She took instruction from Nora and Agnes on how to sew and glowed with pride when she completed the work on her first dress. She even used the leftover scraps to make a little bonnet for Grace, utilizing her embroidery skills to add pretty touches to the finished project. On Sundays Mollie accompanied Nora and the Coulters to church services and was appropriately demure and teachable. She was beginning to win over many of the townsfolk.
Even Gavin, who remained intractable when she was under his watch, looked on her with something approaching approval when he thought no one was watching.
But the biggest change in Mollie, from Nora’s perspective at any rate, was how comfortable she was becoming with Grace. Nora continued to care for Grace during the day, but in the evening, when they were back at the cottage, she turned over more and more of the responsibility for Grace’s care to Mollie.
Nora tried to stay optimistic. She had grown fond of Mollie. Perhaps, if the girl wanted to settle down permanently here in Faith Glen after her debts were paid, and live at the cottage with Nora, then they really could both have a hand in raising the little girl.
* * *
When Maeve and Flynn’s house was finally completed, the extended family members were all invited to take the grand tour of the place. The couple was planning a larger gathering the next day, an open house for the whole town to get to know their new doctor, but first Maeve had declared she wanted a “family only” gathering.
Nora looked around when she arrived, surprised at what a crowd her “extended family” now included. Bridget and Will were there of course, along with their two children and Esther. And now that Esther was an engaged woman, it also included Ben. Nora herself had brought Grace, of course. Agnes and James had come, as well, as had Mollie, who was now like a niece to her. And because Mollie came, Gavin felt the need to be there, as well, to “keep an eye on her.”
The last person to show up, to her surprise, was Cam. Why was he here? Did he consider himself part of the family?
But Maeve stepped forward and welcomed him literally with open arms. “Sheriff, I’m so glad you accepted my invitation. The party wouldn’t be complete without you.”
So perhaps she had misunderstood what Maeve meant by “family only.”
“Now that everyone is here,” Maeve announced, “I’d like to show you through our new home.”
The home was indeed beautiful. Spacious and elegantly furnished, there were six bedchambers, a large dining room, a study, a library, a visitors parlor, a private parlor and a music room. There was even a bathing room furnished with the latest and most luxurious of fixtures.
When the inside tour was complete, Flynn and Maeve led them through wide glass doors out of the music room and onto an elegant stone terrace. They all took positions along the low stone wall that edged it, admiring the view that encompassed a gracefully sloping lawn, well-manicured gardens and a large pond.
“You picked your home site well,” Will remarked.
“Thank you.” Flynn gave Maeve’s hand a squeeze. “My wife wanted lots of green to look at. I don’t think she cared much for Boston.”
“You know I’m content wherever I am as long as you’re there,” Maeve answered. Then she gave an impish grin. “But I do admit to liking this home better than the one we left behind in Boston.”
Then Flynn spread his arms wide. “We hope you will enjoy yourselves. Our home is completely open to you. Walk around the place, inside or out, to your heart’s content. There’s a croquet set on the lawn for any of you who might be interested in playing and a chess set in the study. The cook is preparing a nice meal of baked fish and roast leg of lamb. We’ll eat here on the terrace in about an hour.”
The group drifted apart in very short order. Will challenged Flynn to a game of chess. Maeve and Bridget, along with Gavin and Mollie, headed for the croquet set. Caleb and Olivia followed behind with cries of “can I play, too?” Esther moved inside and sat at the piano. Ben stood beside her, ready to turn the pages of her music, and James and Agnes sat nearby, ready to be entertained. Within minutes, the lovely strains of a waltz floated through the open doorway.
Nora was content to sit on one of the terrace benches and hold Grace as she watched her sisters. She smiled when she saw Maeve and Bridget each take one of the twins and let them “help” hit the croquet ball with the mallets.
“Your sister has a beautiful home.”
Startled at the sound of Cam’s voice so close, Nora looked up just as he took a seat on the other end of her bench. “Yes, it is,” she agreed.
“It gives your other sister’s home some competition for the largest house in town.”
Nora smiled. “I’m quite sure Maeve and Bridget don’t feel any sort of competition on the matter.” Now their husbands might be a different matter, but there was no need to voice that thought.
“And you?” he asked. “Do you wish you had a big fine house like your sisters have?”
“I’m quite content with my cottage.” Nora meant that with all her heart. “I have no use for six bedrooms, I can’t play any instruments so a music room would be useless and I have no books so I have no need for a library.”
“Isn’t there anything you would change?”
I’d like a large family to fill it. But she couldn’t say that aloud. Instead she gave an answer that she knew he would appreciate. “A larger kitchen with two ovens would be nice.”
He smiled. “I hear your baking business is doing really well.”
Nora nodded, wondering why he’d sat down beside her. It was the first time he’d deliberately sought her out since that evening on the beach. Was he trying to make amends? Or was he merely at loose ends?
They sat in a not uncomfortable silence for a while, until Maeve and Bridget climbed the steps to the terrace, arms linked, smiles on their faces. Nora felt a momentary twinge of jealousy as she recognized they had a common bond that she lacked. But she was able to release it without a qualm a second later.
“Game through already?” she asked when they drew close.
Bridget laughed. “Caleb and Olivia got tired of it. Caleb decided he’d prefer to see if there were any turtles around the pond, and Olivia refused to be left behind. Mollie offered to keep an eye on them.”
Maeve laughed. “And Gavin is keeping an eye on Mollie.” Then she held out her hands toward Grace. “May I?”
Nora r
eluctantly handed the baby off. She watched her youngest sister’s face as she cooed down at the infant and saw a banked longing there. She guessed it wouldn’t be long before Maeve and Flynn announced they were starting a family of their own.
Feeling suddenly restless, Nora stood and moved across the terrace to lean against the stone wall. She could feel the heat from the sun-warmed stones through her dress, but it was more soothing than uncomfortable.
Less than three months ago she had been desperate, destitute and uncertain of her future. Today she had a comfortable, snug home that no one could ever evict her from, lots of new friends who would drop everything to help her and a baby who’d touched her heart deeply. Also she was well on her way to having a thriving business of her own.
So why couldn’t she be content?
Father above, I know I’m being impatient and prideful, but I’m trying to do better. I know I should be content with whatever lot in life is mine, but I also know that You want us to come to You with our longings. So I’m coming to You with mine. Please—
Cam joined her at the wall and rested his elbows next to hers. But before he could say anything, a child’s scream rent the air. In a flash Cam was gone from her side and sprinting across the lawn. Nora lifted her skirts and was right behind him. What had happened?
Oh, dear Jesus, I’m sorry for my selfish prayer of a moment ago. Just let the children be okay.
She arrived at the pond a few heartbeats behind Cam. To her relief, both of the children were safely on the bank, though Caleb was soaking wet, and both he and Olivia were crying.
But Gavin and Mollie were in the pond, and Mollie seemed to be supporting an unconscious Gavin. Before she’d fully registered that fact, Cam had waded into the pond with them and lifted Gavin in his arms to carry him out. Concerned for Gavin, Nora tried to put aside her worries while she comforted Olivia and Caleb, and made certain they stayed safely away from the water.
Bridget came up behind her, breathless from running, and obviously concerned for her stepchildren.
“They’re okay,” Nora quickly assured her. “I think they just got a scare.” She left Bridget to attend to the children and stepped forward to help Mollie out of the water, while Cam placed Gavin on the grass, well away from the edge of the pond.
A Baby Between Them Page 19
