by Marian Tee
“Please…” My voice broke. “At least, please tell me, please lie to me, please just tell me it didn’t hurt for him.”
“It didn’t hurt.”
I looked at Mr. Prescott.
“He wouldn’t have felt a thing.”
I closed my eyes and my mind recreated the scene.
Ashton waving at me. “I love you.”
Me waving back at him. “I love you.”
And then they were driving away.
Ashton falling asleep as our parents talked about where they would go. Amelie choosing a fancy restaurant, Dan telling Ashton to stay and not leave the car while they go out for a very, very, very short while. Ashton nodding and meaning it because he was a good boy. The cutest, sweetest boy in the world.
Ashton, forcing himself to open his eyes to wave at them. Because, you know, he was the cutest, sweetest boy in the world. I love you, Mom. Dad.
And my parents waving back – no, no, no, they would have hugged him. Kissed him. They had to. They were his parents. They should have known, unconsciously, and they would have made him feel loved instead of making him feel like the burden I knew they thought he was.
I love you, Ashton.
I love you, kiddo.
Yes, that was what they would have said.
Then Ashton fell asleep, forever and ever.
The…End.
I opened my eyes.
I tried to speak, but somehow I couldn’t. Like my voice, my stupid, beautiful voice, was a poison that would kill me if I spoke a word.
“Aria?”
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Prescott, for being so good at lying.
Thank you. I tried to tell him with my eyes because I could no longer speak.
****
It was another perfectly ordinary million-dollar event. Expensively catered food, gorgeous décor, and a private resort. The guests invited to Jacqueline Koufos’ official debut in society, her eighteenth birthday, had been to a hundred other affairs like this. The only special thing about the event was that everyone knew Jacqueline had just been dumped by the Samaras’ heir, Eugene.
Or at least it was until a man, riding a powerful custom-made Harley Davidson under him, flew into the scene like a black and silver streak of fireworks.
The roar of his bike was the first thing they heard, coming from the back of the resort, where the beach was. It drowned out the sound of crashing waves, the clinking of glasses, and the polite laughter from the crowd.
Everyone stopped what they were doing, turning with gasps and screams of shock and horror as the man and his beast-like bike flew right over their heads—
A female guest shrieked, “The cake—oh my God, the cake, he’s going to crash into the cake!”
But instead the mysterious rider landed a foot away from the magnificent four-layered cake, the space perfectly calculated for him to execute a magnificent 360-degree spin with his bike’s rear wheel before turning around again to face the crowd.
The rider took off his helmet.
The guests burst into wild applause as they recognized the rider. Kellion Argyros. The heir of one of Greece’s mightiest political clans.
Women sighed and simpered, what they did depending on whether they were single or not. Kellion Argyros was just eighteen years old, but oh, those smoldering looks of his, and the famous green eyes of the Argyros – it didn’t matter how young he was. The way he looked at them, with that all-knowing smirking gleam in his eyes…and that body. Oh, it was impossible that hard muscular body could have one inexperienced bone in it—
He was one of them, but he didn’t feel like them. Rich people were supposed to embrace idleness, but Kellion Argyros had always embraced life at its most dangerous.
And oh, when he spoke – it was always like he was toying with them. And my oh my – if it was Kellion, then it wasn’t a problem. They would so love to be played by him.
All these thoughts were clear to Kellion. It wasn’t as if any of the females around him were making an effort to hide what they felt, and it made him smile. One so wicked and dazzling it made their bodies throb even more. None of them realized that his smile was just for show, but even if they did, Kellion doubted any of them would care.
He paid his respects to his parents first. They were Jacqueline’s godparents and like the rest of the world, Kellion had learned how to play with them.
“You were so amazing, darling.” Carina was gushing. That really was all it took to make his mother happy and proud. As long as he was cooler than all the sons of her other friends, she would always love him.
Kellion bent down so his mother could kiss his cheek. Afterwards, his father Maurice clapped him on the back. “I say he takes after me.”
Kellion had no trouble returning his father’s smile. “Naturally.” He was used to playing the role of the perfect son. He had been doing it for years. For Maurice, all that mattered was for Kellion to display ruthless strength and cunning – the kind that would make him a worthwhile heir of the Argyros.
He gave them a chance. One full minute to make him feel like they saw him as their son.
They talked to him and about him, praising his skills behind the bike, telling him how everyone envied them for being his parents, and how Jacqueline would surely be the happiest girl in the world to have him flying all the way from the United States just for her party.
But the minute passed and there wasn’t a single mention of how this was the first time they had seen him ride a bike in person and that the stunt he had pulled was dangerous as hell. No mention of the fact that before this, he had been hospitalized for a week because he had been practicing this stunt, over and over.
Nothing.
All they did was smile and beam at him.
Like he was their heir – their perfectly replaceable heir and not their son.
Something inside of him died at those smiles.
“Excuse me for a moment. I haven’t greeted Jacqueline yet.” Kellion’s voice was even, revealing not a single hint of how raw he felt inside.
“Oh, of course.” Carina waved him away.
Maurice smirked. “Don’t do what your father won’t do.”
And because he knew what was expected of him, Kellion shot back in a deadpan voice, “That means I can do anything, right?”
Both his parents loved it, their laughter as fake as their smiles.
He turned away swiftly before the sight of it could make him sick.
He found Jacqueline chatting with her friends by the pool. She was glowing, her eyes shining, and she looked even prettier than he remembered in her silver gown. Silver was her favorite color, and it was why he himself was dressed in the same shade.
Her friends noticed him first and as Kellion walked towards them, he watched her friends whisper and giggle as they told Jacqueline about him.
She turned to him with a smile – a real one.
And then she was running towards him.
Kellion caught her in his arms. “Happy birthday, pup.” He had been calling her that for years even though deep inside he knew it was the other way around. He was the one who felt like a damn puppy the way he secretly followed her around, using the Internet and even his own security team to know her every move.
“Thank you, Kellion, thank you!” She hugged him tightly as she whispered the words. Pulling back, she made a cute face and said, “But please stop calling me ‘pup’.”
He said easily, “All right, Jack.” He was the only one who called her that, too.
Jacqueline wrinkled her pretty nose. “Eeeew.”
After, she held his hand and drew him towards the garden. Stars and golden light from lampposts competed above them, their brightness reflected on the surface of the still waters of a granite fountain.
They stopped in front of it, and Jacqueline said again, “Thank you.”
“You know I’d do anything for you.” He meant every damn word.
“I know. I don’t deserve it, but I knew you wouldn’t let
me down.” She smiled up at him. That was what he loved most about her, the way her smiles were always real, the kind she would withhold whenever he did something to displease her.
They talked and laughed, and all the while their hands remained entwined.
It felt like heaven, lulling Kellion into believing that maybe this time Jacqueline would realize he was the one for her. But when he reached for her face, something in his eyes might have told her what he wanted. Might have warned her it was not something she wanted.
When he bent down to kiss her, she turned away at the right moment, and his lips ended up brushing against her cheek.
Rejection crushed him, drowned him like there was a brick around his neck.
Beside him, Jacqueline was saying very brightly, “Should we go back to the party?”
Kellion’s fists clenched against his sides.
Maybe she was like them, after all. Wanting him because she needed something from him. Wanting him only because there was a role he could play in her life. And tonight, she had needed someone like him to come to her party and make everyone forget that Eugene had dumped her.
It was a role any other person – anyone from his bike racing club, really – could play as long as they were cool and good-looking.
Bitterness rose, and for the first time in his life, Kellion wanted to say something scathing to Jacqueline. But when he looked at her, she wasn’t smiling. She was trying to, but she couldn’t. Because she was real. She was real and not fake. She was real – and she was just not in love with him.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice shook. “I know you think I could be leading you on all this time, but I wasn’t. I’m not. It’s just too soon.”
He nodded. “I get it.” He did. He had to. Because if Jacqueline, too, turned out to be as unreal as the rest of the world, then he was done for. His friends at the Afxisi could only do so much. His brothers anchored him, made him sane, but they could never erase the darkness inside him. A jeering, taunting kind of darkness that had been his companion since he had become old enough to understand that he was replaceable.
Nothing about him was special, and it was time to accept that. To embrace the fact that he would forever be an empty soul, the classic case of a poor little rich boy.
His pain was nothing compared to what everyone around him was suffering. It was nothing compared to the way Carina cried at night every time she heard about her husband cheating on her. Nothing like the way Maurice would drink himself into a stupor, the only way he could make himself forget that he would never be as successful as his own father. Nothing even like the way Jacqueline was hurting, knowing that she was hurting her childhood friend because now he knew she didn’t love him the way he wanted her to.
“Kellion?”
When Kellion looked at Jacqueline again, he knew it was the start of his new life. A life where he would never be hurt because he would just stop thinking about himself and live for others.
He took Jacqueline’s hand. “Let’s go back to the party, pup. Let’s make everyone see why Eugene was an idiot for dumping you.”
Chapter One
Dear Ashton,
Have you grown taller? I bet you have. Sorry I wasn’t able to write to you in the past few days. I’ve been…out of sorts.
I wish you were here. Without you, there’s just nothing to smile about.
Love, Big Sis
ARIA
I want to stay here. I crossed my arms over my chest just to make my stand clear. Here in Christopoulos University, everyone knew I was the girl with Trauma. It deserved a capitalized T since my condition was medically certified. Usually, that meant I could get away with pretty much everything.
Or at least as long as it didn’t involve a certain upperclassman called Roberta “Bobby” Granger.
Said upperclassman crossed her arms right back at me. “Go help.” Officially, she was the Student Association President of Needs Heard, a foundation established to benefit the Deaf community. Unofficially, we all thought of her as its evil redheaded queen.
Worst day of my life, I thought glumly, was when Bobby mistook me as Deaf. Since then, I had somehow found myself at her beck and call, doing “errands” that were supposed to force me back into living.
Yeah right. Knowing Bobby, it was just her way of getting free help for her beloved foundation.
“Aria.”
The threatening note in Bobby’s voice made me jump, but I forced myself to stick to my guns. I shook my head at her. No. I preferred to stay in the background. Why couldn’t Bobby understand that?
The older girl glared. “You. Will. Help. This. Instant.”
My courage disappeared in an instant. Bobby was a nice girl – nice enough to win Young Philanthropist of the Year two times in a row, actually – but she also had a tendency to turn into a total tyrant where NH was concerned.
“Ariaaaaa—”
Oh no, lecture in the hole. It was definitely time to go. I gave her a salute. Roger that.
As I spun around and marched to the door, Bobby laughed behind me. “Do you realize how funny you are? I’m almost thankful you hate speaking.”
I glanced at Bobby over my shoulder. Ha-ha. So funny.
Bobby only laughed harder, the sound making me grind my teeth as I left the office.
I hate this. The thought repeated itself in my mind as I glumly made my way to what would soon be the most crowded place on campus. Today was Club Day, and today Bobby was determined to have fifty new members for her Sign Language club. It didn’t matter if the new members had to be bribed, deceived, or sucker-punched into joining. Fifty was the goal, and fifty was what everyone had been instructed to aim for.
By the time I reached the main road of Christopoulos University, the place was already crawling with club officers and booths were set up right next to each other.
I rolled my eyes when I saw that our club’s booth was the very first one on the road. Prime location, no doubt courtesy of Bobby’s fiancé being a Christopoulos.
Sneaky, sneaky, I thought as I grabbed my set of pamphlets from the booth. Hi. I fluttered my fingers in greeting as I positioned myself next to KC.
KC took one look at my face and burst out laughing. “I’m sure today won’t be so bad.”
I didn’t say a thing, just looked at her, which for some reason only made KC laugh even more. So wonderfully optimistic, I thought dourly. If only I could be like her. Maybe the days would stop being so…blurry.
I stole a look at my friend. With her reddish brown hair tied back in a high ponytail and bouncing every time she shook her head, green eyes glowing with determination, she was like a human sun, and she shone so brightly I was tempted to shield my eyes.
“Stop glaring at me.”
I pointed to her lips with a grimace. Then stop smiling.
KC only laughed. “That was the first thing you said to me when we met in class. Remember?”
I did, unfortunately. That was one of the worst days of my life, too. I was sure KC knew that a passion for art was the only thing we had in common, but it hadn’t seemed to matter to her. The first time we met, she told me she had a feeling we would be very good friends.
I shuddered at the memory. It was ridiculous, the way she could be so optimistic.
Beside me, KC had a lost look on her face, something I had gotten used to over the years. It only meant one thing: she was daydreaming again.
I jabbed her side with my elbow. Hard. Now was not the time to daydream, especially since KC had on a cute navy dress, one guaranteed to have all sorts of pervs coming her way.
The thought had me grimacing. We had another thing in common, after all. Both of us got hit on a lot, KC because she looked too innocent to be true, and me because my curves made everyone think I was an easy lay.
KC was blinking at me rapidly. “Did I…?”
I nodded.
Her cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment. “Sorry. I just started a new project last night, and there’s something missing f
rom it.” KC was a mangaka. More specifically, she specialized in shoujo manga or Japanese romance comics for girls.
The school bell rang then, and all my questions about KC’s project had to wait. When I looked at my friend, she asked, “Ready?”
I nodded. Ready.
I counted the minutes. One, two—
Three.
Doors burst open, girls running with all their might towards the field. It was a stampede, and only one thing could have caused it. Only one thing always caused it.
Openings in Afxisi, the university’s bike racing club, which everyone knew was just a front for the numerous underground races its members participated in and won.
I mentally shook my head. Silly girls. I had heard horror stories about it from Bobby and MJ, both of them fiancées of bikers who belonged to the Afxisi. If a girl was accepted as a club member, it only meant they had earned the dubious privilege of keeping house for the Afxisi. Floor sweeping, laundry, cooking. The only perk – having a chance to get in bed with one of the club’s members.
Yuck.
Students started trickling in, but soon they came in droves, and there was no time for me to even think. I could only hand out pamphlets, one after another, answering everyone’s questions with smiles and deflecting them towards KC when they actually needed to be answered.
It was exhausting, being around so many people. When I was done giving away my set, I tapped KC on the shoulder.
“You want a break?”
I nodded.
“Go, go. I can see this one tired you.” KC waved me away.
I bowed. Thank you.
I hid myself inside the booth by sitting on the ground. Outside, the noise grew and grew. Everyone having a reason to talk, to smile, to laugh.
And yet, all of their noise, no matter how loud, no matter how near they were, always turned into a blur by the time the sound reached my ears.
“Anyone inside?”
Something about the voice made me stiffen, the words sounding more like a gibe than an actual question. I stayed silent, hoping whoever it was would go away.
